End of the Walker (The Walker Series Book 5)
Page 3
Kemper lifted my foot into his lap and started massaging it as Cyler dipped lower so as not to hit his head on the ceiling while entering the tent. His long hair was still wet from the bath we took earlier. Thurst took us to a bathhouse he constructed with running water. “We having a sleepover?” I asked him, feeling the hint of joy kissing my soul at the normalcy of it all.
“Something like that,” Cy replied before positioning himself at my back and running fingers through my hair. My lips parted, and I moaned as the edge of his nails scraped along my scalp, causing me to melt in his lap. Jacob entered the tent next, and his mindspeak broke the spell.
“Oh fuck, those noises are killing me.”
I smiled as he crawled over to Huxley, lying down and resting his head on my stomach. I ran my fingers along the scar on his face, bending lower to kiss his cheek. “I love you,” I whispered.
Maverick was last to enter the tent. He looked around at us with a timid smile, his dark eyes taking in every detail, every perfect imperfection. I knew he was thinking the same things I was: We have to save our family; this was too perfect to give up.
He settled into the corner, and I broke away from the others to crawl into his lap. Curling up into a ball, I stroked his chest with the tips of my fingers while nuzzling closer. “This might be hell, but I’m damn happy we’re all finally together again,” he murmured before gently lifting my chin and placing a kiss on my closed mouth.
I didn’t immediately respond, feeling self-conscious in front of them all. We’d danced this line enough times that it wasn’t awkward, but I’d only had sex with Maverick and Huxley—though I planned to rectify that soon.
Maverick ignored my awkwardness and threaded his fingers through my hair, pulling just enough to make me gasp. He took advantage of my parted lips and trailed his tongue along mine, earning more moans from me.
“Fuck,” Cyler growled as something was tossed across the room. I broke the kiss to see what it was then smiled when I saw it was Jacob’s mindspeak. He didn’t want me to hear what he was thinking, but based on the show Maverick and I were putting on, it wasn’t hard to guess.
Patrick crawled along the floor space towards me then captured my lips as Maverick palmed my breasts over my bra, kneading my skin as Patrick’s teeth clashed against mine. “What are you all doing?” I asked breathlessly between kisses as Maverick’s hand rested on the button of my pants.
“Making you forget for a little while,” Kemper said, his voice hoarse. Ah, Kemper. Always the selfless fixer. I wasn’t surprised that they knew I needed the distraction. They anticipated my needs and worked together to meet them.
Maverick unbuttoned my pants, then he and Patrick eased them over my hips. The moment the rest of the restricting clothes were gone, Patrick pulled me onto his lap, forcing me to straddle him. It all felt so good. I could hear their panting breaths. See their hooded expressions. Feel Patrick’s hard erection pressing and pulsing at my core.
I breathed in his woodsy scent, nuzzling into his neck while threading my hands into his brown hair. Patrick was grinding against me. He wrapped his corded arms around my back afterward and held me to him before kissing my lips again. Tugging at plush lips, he claimed me between his teeth while massaging my back. I started grinding against him, feeling that precious hardness against me press even harder. “Yes,” he whispered as I ground against him. Knowing that the others were watching brought my pleasure to new heights.
Patrick was straining against the denim of his pants, so I reached down to unbutton them. “What are you doing?” he asked on a shaky exhale.
“Forgetting,” I replied, and I noticed how his face slipped. I realized then that this wasn’t how he imagined our first time going. Patrick was the only virgin of the group, and I wanted our first time to be special. I knew it was a vulnerable thing for him. Having an audience would put added pressure on an already intense moment. I stilled then went back to kissing him, taking things slowly as he kissed me back eagerly.
“Soon,” I whispered against his lips, so softly only he could hear. “I want it to be just you and me.” He shuddered at my admission and jolted his hips up one last time, bumping against my sensitive nub as an unspoken promise that he would be more than willing to bring me to that peak.
“You’ve been so sad lately,” Patrick murmured. I knew they all were concerned about me. It still hurt that my feelings were so transparent. I pulled away after kissing him on the cheek one more time.
“We haven’t really had time to slow down,” I replied with a shrug. It wasn’t that I was sad. I had my men back. They were all I really needed. I just felt like we couldn’t catch a break. I’d been straddling this need to feel strong while wanting to crumble from the pressure. We’d been fighting and hiding so much that I still didn't feel settled. I craved a home and a routine.
“We can slow down, Babe,” Cyler replied with a mischievous grin. He gave Patrick a frown as if he had been the one to ruin the moment, but I was more than happy to put the brakes on this. I didn’t move though. I placed a chaste kiss on his lips before climbing off of him.
“Were you all trying to distract me with your bodies?” I said, a wry smile forming on my mouth. It was a foreign gesture, and I realized that I hadn’t been doing much of it lately.
“Was it working?” Kemper asked as I lay back down in the center of the tent.
Even though the lusty feelings from earlier had disappeared, there was still a strong sense of comfort I felt from having all of them near me. "It was. I won't lie, we might not have a home, but it feels good to have all of you in the same place at the same time again. I know I'm just working through some things, and I don't want you all to feel like you have to fix me." A hint of emotion bubbled up within my throat, and I tried everything I could to swallow it down. When you loved someone, you wanted to do what was best for them. And although I felt that I could be completely myself around my men, I didn't want to subject them to the torturous thoughts that plagued me daily.
Jacob moved around the tent, looking for his mindspeak. At first, I thought he wanted to tell me something, but instead, he gently crawled towards me and placed my head in his lap, securing the mindspeak in my own ear.
"Of course he would want to hear my thoughts. Guess it's only fair," the mindspeak said, echoing my own thoughts. I cringed at the monotone voice like it was a weapon. I wasn’t ready to spill my guts to them but knew that there was healing that would come from it. I closed my eyes because I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle watching their expressions as I finally poured out the thoughts that I'd been clinging to since killing Cavil.
The mindspeak took over, and it was a sort of freeing thing, knowing that it was a direct line to my unfiltered thoughts that didn't require me actually to voice them out loud.
"I killed a man. I don't feel bad about it. In fact, I’d do it again. I would do anything for you all. I want to build a life with you. I want a home. I miss Payne. I didn't realize how much I loved that little boy until I couldn't find him. I don't think I'll ever have any kids, but when I envision my life with you all, I see him running around in our front yard. I'm terrified that I'm going to lose you again. And now that I know what it's like not to have some of you in my life, I feel more determined than ever not to lose you."
Tears started streaming down my cheeks as my thoughts kept going. It was like the mindspeak couldn't even keep up. "I don't ever want you to leave me out of decisions again. I’ve forgiven you, but I'm still sad. I need reassurance that we're in this together. I need reassurance that, no matter what happens, we won't allow ourselves to be separated again. I need to know that this is it. I'm going to feel comforted by all of you forever. I need to know that once the dust settles, you'll still want me."
I started sobbing, clutching my mouth with my hand as Jacob removed the mindspeak. I sat up as more tears fell. All at once, my men surrounded me. It felt like my feelings were so big that the tent couldn’t hold it all. They shuffled in the smal
ler space, and we made do with a makeshift group hug. They wrapped their arms around me. Huxley grabbed an ankle, Maverick my shoulder. Jacob was still behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist while resting his cheek against my back. Cyler was at my side. Kemper at my other. Patrick just held my hand, stroking his thumb along the top while murmuring sweet words of affection.
"We're never splitting up again," Cyler said in a steel tone that felt final. His words were like an ax on the lingering regret I had over the last few months. It felt like a fresh start, with all of them clinging to me as I left the last bit of my remorse to fall from my eyes. I was going to let go of the pity. I was going to release the fear. I was prepared to close the door on the bitter parts of our past so that we could take on the future together.
Chapter Four
I distinctly remembered falling asleep wrapped up in a cocoon of limbs and blankets, the steady rhythm of my men’s breathing lulling me to sleep. It was the most peaceful night’s rest I’d had since leaving Dormas. I was thankful to be able to stretch out and not have to fall asleep sitting up in the crowded transport. I felt safe. The peace of this land still ran through the soil, comforting me despite everything that had happened.
But I woke up with a hot breath between my thighs. A tender kiss was placed on my skin as my eyes fluttered open. “Don’t move, Ash,” a calm voice said. I looked around, noticing that my men had left, then looked at the source of tension building within me and smiled when I saw Kemper.
He met my gaze with a smile before slipping my panties off, leaving me bare to him. “Wh-where is everyone?” I asked, my voice smoky from sleep and the emotional energy coursing through me. He looked so handsome lying there, and his hair was a mess from our well-rested night. His pale blue eyes were hooded, and I couldn’t tell if it was from sleep or hunger.
“They got up early to talk with Tallis. I’m the lucky bastard that gets to wake you up,” he growled, his voice dirty and making a steady heat build within me.
“Why do I get the feeling that you all did something ridiculous like draw straws to see who got to wake me up?” I asked, my voice breathless as Kemper caused my nerves to buzz.
“I cannot confirm nor deny that there was a competition for who got to have alone time with you in the tent,” Kemper replied, his voice playful but intoxicating as his eyes turned dark with hunger. “It might have included mud wrestling, but I prefer not to go into details.”
I laughed at that visual, but the light giggle was cut off quickly when he pulled me closer, pushing his hand up my stomach before dragging his blunt nails down my skin. “I can’t handle myself around you, Ash,” he said before kissing my clit. I jerked in response, panting as my sleepy haze dissolved into need. “I had every intention of waking you up with a gentle kiss on the cheek. But you were sleeping with your legs open like you were just begging to be touched.”
I gasped as Kemper slid his fingers along me, plunging them inside as he kissed me again. He didn’t circle his tongue around my bundle of nerves; he devoured me, savoring each taste like I was a dying man’s last meal. Up and down, his tongue flicked, and the fast rhythm was perfect. I lifted my hips up to meet each stroke.
“You’re so amazing. Can I wake you up like this for the rest of our lives?” he asked before nuzzling closer and inhaling me like I was a decadent treat.
“Hell yes, you can,” I replied breathlessly. I couldn’t stop watching Kemp. Eagerness for his hard body on mine consumed me with every breath. With one final lick, he started traveling up my body towards my mouth while still cupping me in his palm. Once he was hovering over me, I watched him remove his shirt with one hand, and I quickly moved to unbuckle his pants. I loved how his movements were borderline frantic and controlled. It felt like if he didn’t get inside me soon, he would combust.
There was something magical about feeling that desired. It emboldened me, making me feel sexy and needed all at once. “I’ve been thinking about this since last night. All I’ve wanted to do was slide into you. Make you feel how perfect we are together,” Kemper said. Everything felt like a dream. I supposed that some parts of me were nervous that my guys would shy away from the intensity of last night. But seeing Kemper worship every inch of my skin was reassuring.
“I need you,” I whispered. My voice was barely audible, and my tone was breathless. The straightening serum Jules used on my hair back at Madam B's brothel had started to fade, and my wavy locks covered my shoulders. Kemper had always liked my wild hair, and I appreciated how he ran his fingers along each curl. Like the bleached hair was something to be cherished. Jules promised me that she’d return it to my natural color once we had a moment to breathe.
“What are you thinking about?” Kemper asked, and I almost laughed at myself for being so trivial in the middle of exploring Kemper.
“My hair. I want to feel like myself again,” I replied with a whisper before leaning up and kissing Kemper, ignoring my taste on his tongue and my morning breath. Our kiss was all about need, our driving desire to connect in every way possible.
“You could shave it all off, and I’d still find you fucking irresistible,” he said on an exhale before diving in to nibble my neck.
“Kemper?” I asked. We’d once discussed how perfection was an addiction to him, and I needed to know if he was prepared to go all the way with me. Would he stop and demand flowers or a perfect moonlit night? “I need you inside of me,” I said before parting my thighs further for him to settle between them.
I felt Kemper smile against my skin, and he pressed against me, teasing my entrance with his presence without fully entering me. “I’m trying to savor this, and you’re making it difficult to go slow.”
But that was the problem, I didn’t want him to go slow. The empire was ending, and we didn’t know how much time we had. I wanted him now. I wanted to know that I’d get to experience all of my men before this fucked up world ripped them from my shaking fingers.
“Then don’t,” I replied while arching my back, pushing on him with my hips. My movements earned me a guttural growl from his throat. My heated words, combined with the way my body instinctively responded to him, forced Kemper to meet my challenge. He didn’t waste a second more and slowly slid inside of me.
The way our bodies clashed in perfect rhythm was bliss. He sucked on my neck, growling against my skin in a primal way I hadn’t expected from the kind and blushing Kemper I first met. I used to think he was the shy type but later learned that he had words that could make my blood boil, and now that we were joined, his teasing lips on mine were doing all the talking without saying a word.
He started to move faster and faster, pounding into me with an intensity that had me buzzing. Each kiss, each driving thrust was perfection. I met his tempo while gazing into his blue eyes, savoring every single ounce of this moment. I knew that, despite an unknown future, I’d always have this—I’d always have him.
I bit my lip as he reached down to tease my clit, and he slowed his pace. “I love it when you bite your lip,” he said distractedly. “Makes me think of how your mouth would look wrapped around my cock.”
His words were like throwing gas on a flame, taking his already skilled fingers to entirely new heights. “You like it when I talk to you like that, don’t you?” he teased. He wasn’t wrong. It was one of the things I liked most about my physical relationship with Kemper. His husky words could bring me to my knees. “You feel so good, Ash.” He was still circling my nub with his thumb, applying the perfect amount of pressure to make me squirm. His deep thrusts never once stopped, and the rhythm our bodies kept was intense.
“I’m so close,” I cried out, not caring that the tent was far from soundproof. I was too gone. My body felt lost to the sensations, rational thought fled my brain, and the only thing I could do was feel Kemper.
“Come for me, Ash,” Kemper commanded. “Let me see you fall apart beneath me.”
His words and movements coaxed my climax out of me. Pleasure consumed every c
ell in my body. And after three more thrusts, Kemper followed me into bliss with his own orgasm.
“Kemper,” I said while wrapping my legs around his hips to keep him in place. He was growing soft inside of me, but I wasn’t quite ready to let go. I wanted to hold on to this moment forever, claim it and think of us for as long as I could.
“Yeah, Ash?” he asked before kissing my collarbone.
“This was perfect,” I replied. Perfection was something he craved, and although it was something we struggled through, I wanted him to know that this was precisely how I’d imagined it.
“Yeah,” Kemper began before brushing a strand of hair off my face. He was gazing lovingly into my eyes when he continued, “it was.”
Chapter Five
Kemper and I spent most of our morning together cuddling and chatting about our dreams for the future. It felt nice to pretend like we could plan for our lives together. It was well into the afternoon before we were ready to emerge from the tent. My body felt relaxed yet tender from our time together. I was surprised that no one bothered us but thankful too. Taking a few hours to escape into our love gave me the resolve I needed to dive into the day and approach all the problems we faced with a clear head.
I was headed towards the campfire when I saw Jacob. He was wearing a knowing smirk stretched so broad that it made me blush. “The just fucked looks good on you,” his mindspeak said. He didn’t even bother ripping it from his ears despite Jules’ gags and Thurst’s shiver of discomfort. I loved the public display of affection. I’d spent my entire life hiding my feelings for another, so having men that were so open about their love and attraction to me was addicting.
I still patted Jacob on the shoulder with a laugh. "Where are the others?" I asked. Thurst put a pot of water over the fire before responding.