Fighting Wrath

by Jennifer Miller

  “Not much. Just getting my ass kicked today as you already noticed.”

  “Better step it up a notch then,” Cole adds coming up behind me. “Jax won’t take that poor shit of an excuse for long. He wants to get you in the competition. Says you’re ready. Time for you to show up and show him he’s right.”

  “Hell yes I’m ready,” I growl. If they only knew how ready. They’d be so angry and resentful if they knew I was fighting underground. And I wouldn’t blame them. Underground fighting is disrespectful to the profession. And, if I’d get hurt I’d be unable to participate in MMA professionally at all. They’d be furious for what they’d view as disloyalty and irreverence to them and for investing in me. But it’s a risk I have to take right now. I’m dying to finally get in a real match – I need to. When I do, I won’t need that venue and my MMA fights will quench the desire to even consider underground fighting. But right now, I need the outlet. Just thinking about it makes my hands flex with anticipation. The release I feel when my knuckles smash into someone else’s body is damn near liberating…something within me craves that. Every punch, every blow, every kick releases pent up fury like nothing else can. It’s seriously fucked up.

  Opening my locker, I quickly grab what I need before hitting the shower, Cole’s words floating around in my mind. When I finish up, with a towel wrapped around my waist, I come to a complete stop when I see Nikki reclining on the bench in front of my locker. God, this chick doesn’t get a clue. She’s driving me fucking insane. In fact, she and her groupie friends are annoying everyone. Jax has asked them to leave more than once lately. Of course that could be Rowan’s influence too. But, their hanging around is nothing but a call to trouble. If Jax knew she was in the locker room right now, he’d be pissed. Straddling the bench, leaning slightly back so her chest pushes out, and wearing next to nothing, she looks fucking ridiculous. Clearly proud of her posturing and waiting for me, she looks up and smiles when she sees me approaching.

  “Tyson, baby. I heard you were in here.”

  “What do you want, Nikki?” I ask with a sigh. Dropping my towel, I walk to my locker, open it and begin getting dressed.

  “Why are you getting dressed, baby? The things I had in mind don’t require clothing.”

  After I pull on my briefs, I look at her fully, “I’m not interested.”

  Annoyance crosses her features, but it quickly disappears. Standing up, she stretches like a cat after a long afternoon nap, no doubt trying to encourage me to check her out. Therefore, I keep my eyes firmly on her face and respond “I always thought you might be a bit feral.”

  “You bet I am; tameless and wild, baby,” she says as she walks right up to me and presses her body against mine, running long blood red fingernail along the top of my briefs. “I was hoping we could fuck, right here on the bench. And if not, then let’s go to your truck or your place. I just want to finish what we started last night.”

  “Started last night?”

  “Yeah. At the club when I was giving you a lap dance.”

  “Um, sorry to disappoint sweetheart, but I don’t remember shit from last night.”

  “Well maybe I should refresh your memory.”

  “Or maybe you just aren’t that memorable,” I reply.

  “Yeah right, baby,” she continues not taking a fucking clue. “Don’t you remember that thing I did with my tongue that you liked? I can do it again.” And with that her tongue comes out of her mouth and makes some sort of deformed looking contortion.

  “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not fucking interested? I’m pretty sure I just said that not two seconds ago. Do you need me to speak louder? Slower? What will get the point across?”

  That does it finally. A pissed off look covers her face and she goes from nice to nasty in a blink. “Fuck you, Tyson.”

  “I thought I already said no thanks?”

  With a stomp of her foot she makes a sound of indignation, “Fine. I’m leaving.”

  “Finally, it sinks in. Thank Christ,” I call after her as she stalks out of the room, happy that she’s finally leaving.

  When I finish dressing and walk out a short while later, Nikki’s standing with her slutty friends who all turn simultaneously, glaring at me. I ignore them all, give a wave to Jax, and head to my truck intending to go home to take a nap until I meet up with Rowan later.

  “Seriously Row, I’m fine.”

  “You forget I’m your sister. No one knows you better than me, and I know you would tell me you’re fine, even if you aren’t.”

  Standing in the home my sister now shares with Jax, I bounce my niece, Lily in my arms. She touches my face and makes sweet sounds like she’s trying to ask me the same thing Rowan is in her cute little baby language. She melts me, it’s fucking ridiculous, really. No one turns me to mush more than this kid.

  “I told you before you moved out, I told you when you were moving out, and I’ve told you since you moved out that I’m fine. What the hell else can I say to convince you?”

  “I don’t know. It’s just a feeling. Maybe it’s our twin radar or something.”

  Taking her hand, I look her in the eyes, “Row, Jax is a good guy. I know he’s taking great care of you, and Lily. He loves you both. You love him. I’m not worried. I’m not mad you moved in with him. I’m happy for you. Really. Besides, it’s good to have my own space - it’s emancipating. I never have before, you know?”

  “Emancipating? I never realized our closeness was enslaving,” she responds with a pout.

  “Stop it. You know what I mean. It’s good to be on my own and have more time for me; that’s all I meant.”

  “Yeah but, what about money, Ty? You have to be tight. And living paycheck to paycheck is not fun. I was helping pay for-“

  “Enough now. It’s all good. No worries.”

  She gives me a look that tells me that while she’ll quit bugging me now, it’s only a matter of time until she brings it up again. Truth is, I do miss her. It’s been Row and I against the world since we were kids. Since our mom was always drunk or high, Rowan and I practically raised ourselves and took care of each other. I always looked out for her. We were practically inseparable. We covered for each other and cared for each and crafted the plan about how we’d leave that piece of shit place we lived in when we turned eighteen. We were all we had and all we needed. It wasn’t always easy, but we’ve never been happier since making that exit. Everything we have is ours. We haven’t had to worry about our mom or one of her junkie thieving friends in years. When we first moved away we reveled in the freedom. It wasn’t just knowing there would be food in the fridge, eating what we wanted, or the ability to stay up late while sitting in the living room to watch TV. Rather, it was not needing to take refuge in our locked bedrooms, or even in being able to sleep without feeling the need to keep one ear to the door. These simple things mattered and were so different than how we grew up. Being on our own and out of there was priceless. But it was the emotional freedom that really mattered. Shedding the intense and constant fear, the concern, dread, and embarrassment. That was the real life-changer. And eventually, that change allowed Rowan to choose a life with Jax.

  So, when Rowan moved in with Jax, I moved into a new place too. I no longer needed a place sized for three. And having my own place – one I chose and fixed up for me was a new experience. My new place isn’t far from Rowan and is a simple one-bedroom apartment. It suits me fine. Besides, between training and working at the garage, I’m hardly there. Keeping busy is good for my mind; it doesn’t start wandering to things that piss me off.

  “Okay, so I’m going to take Lily on our usual reading date, cool?”

  “You know you can just spend time with her here, right? Or I can always bring her to your place.”

  “I like taking her to the book store to read her books and she likes it too. It’s our thing. Don’t be trying to mess it up. We’ll be back in a couple hours or so, alright?”

  She laughs, “Alright.�
� Going to her tip toes she gives me a kiss on the cheek – I’ve got her by a few inches. Her eyes, exactly like mine, look from me, then to Lily, and back. A big smile covers her mouth. “Have fun.”

  I give her a kiss on the cheek too, “We will.”

  Taking Lily’s diaper bag from her hand, I drop my arm in pretense of how heavy it is, and then we make our way out to my truck. I secure her into the car seat that I keep available for our time together. “Okay sweet girl, we finally got rid of that pesky mom of yours. It’s Uncle Tyson and Lily time.” She smiles at me and gurgles like she’s also glad we finally escaped. “Off to read some books, okay?” She claps her tiny hands and I take that as her agreement.

  I’ve got Lily in my lap and I’m reading one of my favorite books to her, Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss. I remember reading it in the school library as a kid. It’s a classic, what’s not to like? She may only be six months old but she loves this as much as I do. I hold the book in my hands and her little eyes look at the pictures and her chubby hands grab at the pages. Sure, there are a few times when I have to pry the book from her mouth because she thinks she should taste the pages too, but I don’t think the bookstore is a stranger to a little bit of slobber amongst the pages in the kids section.

  Other little kids come and go and Lily loves watching them, her large bright eyes following their movements. I find myself completely lost absorbing her little face as she takes in the activity around us, and I can’t help but wonder what goes through her little mind. She’s fascinating and easily one of the best things in my life. Who would have thought?

  When I first found out Rowan was pregnant, I was upset. Not because I didn’t want her to have Lily, but because I knew Lily’s dad was a douche. I hated being right about that and for the life of me I can’t understand how a man can abandon his pregnant girl and choose to miss out on something as amazing as his own child. Rowan went through hell, and I hate that I wasn’t there to help her in the beginning, but thank god for Jax.

  Leaving that thought in the past as swiftly as it came, we continue our reading and book adventure until an hour or so later. Lily’s got yet another book in her mouth and I’m starting to think I smell something foul coming from her backside. I take the book from her, which elicits a tiny cry of protest, but I distract her with her binky and stuffed lamb. “Uncle Tyson for the win, huh little girl?”

  Standing, I buckle her in the stroller and make my way to the men’s restroom. “Good thing you’re cute, kid.” She smiles at me behind her pacifier and I swear I feel my heart jerk at the sight. I need to go hit something after this. Or work on a car. Or flex or some shit.

  Booking it to the restroom unaware of anything but the need to get her changed, we round a corner from behind a bookcase, and smack right into someone with Lily’s stroller. I automatically look down at Lily, making sure she’s okay from the impact. Her eyes appear even larger, if possible on her little face, but she’s fine, just startled. Whatever I’ve run into bounces off of us and I hear something smack to the floor and a female make an “oomph” sound, then “Shit!”

  “Thanks a lot ass-” I smirk at her waiting for her eyes to meet mine and for her to finish the sentence. When she finally flashes her bright eyes my way, I freeze, but keep my smirk in place giving away nothing. On the inside my heart is racing as I take in an eyeful. She’s gorgeous. Big blue eyes, full lips, long blonde hair, and at a glance, a killer body. Her eyes fall and she looks at my tattoos and quickly gives my body a once over trying unsuccessfully to be inconspicuous. Her face flushes, making me wonder what she’s thinking. When she drops to her knees in order to pick up the books that fell from her arms, I stare at her a moment, dirty thoughts immediately coming to mind. Pushing them away, I lean down to pick up the remaining one, and as I hand it to her, our hands touch. The hair on my arms raises in attention. What the hell? Looking at her again, something about her seems… familiar.

  “Do, I know you?”

  “Pick out a social policy from the list on the board. I’d like you to write an essay explaining how you would advocate for or against the policy you choose, and why.” A collective groan resonates throughout the room at our professor’s instructions. Professor Young doesn’t let the sound faze him however, as he talks over everyone, “It’s due next Monday. That’s all. You’re dismissed.”

  After writing down the information I need from the board, I gather my things and escape class as soon as I can. Normally, I’d hang out and complain about our assignment with the rest of the class, but not today. I have too much studying to do, so I head to my car and drive to my favorite bookstore.

  A few hours later, I’m munching on the last of my sandwich and about to wrap it up for the day. It’s been a long one. Looking around the room, I notice how many others appear to be doing the same thing I am – using the bookstore like a library - or merely browsing the stacks. I love this place. Not only do they kindly allow students to sit in their comfy chairs and study for hours on end, and even use their books for reference, but they have a great little inside café. It’s easy to let the comforting atmosphere and the smell of paper and ink in the air lull me into my study zone. I can easily lose myself for hours. Copying down the last few sentences I need from a book, I stand with a stretch as I close it. With a yawn, I begin placing the books I don’t want to purchase back on the shelves. I always try to purchase a book or two when I’m here to repay them for using their space for hours at a time, and for allowing me to access other books.

  Packing up notebooks, pencils and pens, I zip up my bag then grunt loudly when the weight of it hits my back as I swing it over my shoulder. I pack my schoolbooks back into my bag, grab the ones I need to buy for me, then quickly go toward Sammy’s favorite section to pick out a book for him too. Rounding a corner, my arms full and feeling slightly off-balance, I let out a somewhat loud grunt in surprise when I collide into something making me totally lose my balance and drop all the books in my arms to the ground.

  “Shit!” I mutter. Freaking jerk not watching where they’re going. I rub my knee that hit one of the shelving units especially hard. Anger, mixed with embarrassment, runs speedily through my veins resulting in hot pinpricks of sweat to bead on my forehead. It suddenly dawns on me that I didn’t even hear an apology and that only infuriates me more.

  “Thanks a lot ass-” my words get caught in my throat and the ones I emitted float in the air between us as I look up and meet the eyes of the culprit.

  A replay from last night flashes before my eyes. I see myself dressed in next to nothing rubbing and grinding on the man before me. My face flushes with remembrance and I’m tongue tied. Meanwhile, my betraying eyes drop to the smirk covering his full lips. Those kissable, nibble on and lick me lips. My gaze lowers to the white button down shirt covering his large broad chest with the sleeves rolled up on his forearms. Tattoos peek out and run down the rest of his exposed arms to his wrists twisting and turning to make beautiful art. His strong thighs are covered in jeans and his feet are pushed into flip flops. My eyebrow arches, but hell, it is Arizona after all. As my eyes trail over his figure I swallow thickly and force my eyes back up his body once I realize what the hell I’m doing. Feeling frazzled and flushed at the hot journey my eyes just took, I immediately get to my knees and distract myself by picking up the books. I can’t believe I was just staring at him like an idiot. Who’s a creeper? I am, apparently.

  When he drops down next to me and hands me a book, I almost drop them all again. My hand brushes his as I take it from him and I swear my nipples tighten in response to his touch. What the hell is wrong with me?

  Daring to make eye contact, I see he’s staring at me intensely. “Do I know you?”

  Ah. So he doesn’t remember last night. Not surprising. He was totally wasted. Before I can decide how to reply to his question, a little sneeze grabs my attention creating the perfect distraction. “Cute baby.”

  “What?” he blinks at me.

  “I said, cute baby,�
�� I repeat.

  “Oh, yeah. Yeah she is,” he agrees. His voice deep and rich, runs over me like the most effective tease. My eyes meet his once more and I can’t help but notice how pretty they are. He has lashes for days - they should be illegal on a man. I do my best to keep my eyes squarely on his , I really do, but before I even realize what I’m doing, I’m staring at his lips again and wondering how they would feel on mine.

  “She’s my niece.”

  “Mmm.” Wait. What? Did he say something? “Um, I’m sorry,” I say blinking rapidly, “What was that?” Forcing myself to look at him again, I realize my embarrassment is complete when his face displays amusement. He totally knows what I’m thinking. Awesome.

  “I said, she’s my niece. Her name is Lily.”

  I look at the baby again, “She’s adorable.” Leaning down I can’t help but smile at her, “Hi, Lily. Are you having fun at the book store?” See? Nice and normal. Babies I can handle. Hot guys that make me want to orgasm where I stand? Not so much. She smiles at me and that’s when I catch a whiff of something unpleasant making me wrinkle my nose. “Um, I think she may need a diaper change.”

  As if he just remembered that himself he snaps to attention, “Oh hell… yeah… that’s where we were headed.”

  “Okay,” I say lamely standing again and pulling my backpack up my shoulder. “Good luck with that.”

  He laughs and the sound makes my thighs clench. Seriously the effect he has on me is bizarre. “I think I need it, thanks.” And then he flashes me a smile as he begins pushing her in the opposite direction and for a second I swear I see fireworks. From a smile. I need to get the hell away from him; lord knows I don’t have time for this shit. Turning, I take a step to the register again. “Hey,” he calls out making me spin back around, “do you come here a lot?”

  “Several times every week, why?”

  “You look crazy familiar. I guess that’s the reason.”