Kid Normal and the Final Five

by Greg James

  ‘She is!’ shouted Mary 2. ‘Don’t listen to her, Hilda!’

  ‘This is like the worst dream ever,’ Hilda complained.

  ‘Oh, this is ridiculous!’ complained Mary 1, dashing over and diving into a rugby tackle. ‘Anyway, I’ve just realised something she can’t copy.’ she grunted as she grabbed the other Mary around the knees.

  ‘What?’ Hilda asked, dancing out of the way as they toppled towards her.

  ‘She can’t copy my Cape,’ said Mary. And just before hitting the ground, she swooped smoothly upwards and rose into the air, carrying the impostor by her feet.

  ‘Ah! It is the real you, after all!’ said Hilda, relieved. ‘I didn’t think a face-slap was really your style, to be honest.’

  ‘Let me GO!’ ordered Kopy Kat, struggling and going redder and redder as the blood rushed to her head.

  ‘Nothing,’ Mary replied, ‘would give me greater pleasure.’ She had been looking down, hovering gently sideways as she searched for exactly the right spot.

  And then she let go of Kopy Kat’s feet.

  Even though Hilda knew it wasn’t really her friend, it was still fairly unpleasant to watch an exact carbon copy of Mary plunge several metres to the ground, coming to rest upside down in a green metal bin with a huge clanging noise.

  The real Mary floated stylishly back to earth, dusting her hands together in a satisfied fashion. ‘Let’s get her back to the Alliance,’ she said, grabbing a handle on one side of the bin, which now had two black boots protruding from the top and was groaning loudly, ‘and see if the Zeroes need a hand.’

  ‘Ooh, I’d almost forgotten about the huge, climactic battle,’ said Hilda, grasping the other handle and beginning to drag. ‘I hope everything’s OK.’

  ‘What the chicken chow mein is going on?’ said Billy, crouched with Murph behind a pile of rubble.

  ‘It’s attacking Knox!’ realised Murph. ‘It’s turned on him!’

  ‘Metaphorically speaking,’ said Billy sagely, ‘you could say that Nicholas Knox has become his own worst enemy.’

  ‘No, Billy …’ Murph began, but they were interrupted by Mary and Hilda rushing over to join them. ‘What kept you?’ Murph asked.

  ‘We, er, ran into an old friend,’ said Mary. ‘What’s happening here?’

  Mega Knox had now picked Nicholas Knox up by one foot and was whirling him round and round like a lasso. They could hear him squealing in panic, the spinning motion adding a siren effect. As they watched, Mega Knox let go and he flew towards them, rolling over and over until he came to rest on the roadside not far away. His suit was torn and dusty and his hair straggled down across his face.

  Mega Knox squinted in his direction and began to stride towards him. Nicholas Knox opened his eyes and struggled into a sitting position. He caught sight of Murph and the others peering at him from their hiding place, and made a strange coughing noise – it sounded like he was trying to utter a word.

  ‘Sorry,’ said Murph. ‘Are you trying to ask us something?’

  Nicholas Knox’s eyes glinted with pure hatred. ‘H–hel–hel …’ he rasped.

  ‘He’s definitely trying to say something,’ confirmed Billy, shooting Murph a quick grin. ‘I wonder what it could possibly be.’ Mega Knox was clambering across the statue in the middle of the roundabout, knocking chunks of concrete off it as it came.

  ‘Help!’ yelped Nicholas Knox finally.

  Murph cupped his ear exaggeratedly. ‘I’m terribly sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t quite catch that.’

  ‘HELP!’ squeaked Knox. ‘Help! Please, please help!’

  ‘So let me get this straight,’ said Murph. ‘You imprison us, enslave the entire population, turn them all against us. And now, just because you created a monster in your own image that you were too dim to realise would turn on you, you want us to help you?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Nicholas Knox meekly.

  ‘Lucky for you,’ said Kid Normal, ‘that’s exactly what Heroes do. What do we think, guys?’ he turned to the rest of the Zeroes, and wasn’t surprised to see them all already on their feet, adopting combat-ready poses.

  ‘He’s a slimy, wormy creep,’ said Hilda, ‘and so pathetic he might not even be worth saving.’

  ‘Please,’ sobbed Knox.

  ‘We could just stand here and watch that monster turn him into creep pâté,’ suggested Billy idly. ‘But then again, who wants to see that?’

  ‘I bet he’s even oilier-looking on the inside,’ added Mary. ‘Gross.’

  Murph grinned. ‘Super Zeroes,’ he told his friends. ‘Let’s mash Mega Knox!’

  23

  Thwart Knox

  The Final Five stood at the edge of the large open area in front of the palace, as Mega Knox lumbered towards them. The Heroes and the army had captured most of the Rogues – others were being pursued through the streets or parks. Apart from the five of them, Nicholas Knox, and the monster ahead, the place was deserted.

  The five tiny figures lined up together, in front of the gargantuan black-and-purple beast. For a moment it didn’t see them, its attention focused on the creator it had now decided was its enemy, then a glitter of moonlight from a gap in the clouds illuminated the ground, and Mega Knox’s piercing eyes lighted on the Super Zeroes. Ignoring Nicholas Knox and sensing a new threat, it crouched and roared in fury, sending a hot blast washing over them.

  ‘Whoa! Someone really needs to address their dental hygiene,’ said Billy.

  ‘Look out!’ Murph broke in, grabbing Mary and dragging her to one side as the beast leaped towards them. A huge foot landed where they had been standing a second before, shattering the tarmac of the road.

  Billy had dived in the other direction, along with Nellie and Hilda, but he moved fast. Turning a rapid one-eighty, he ballooned both his attack gauntlets and sent his own blow crashing down on to Mega Knox’s outstretched leg. The monster howled in pain, reeling around in search of its attacker.

  ‘He felt that one!’ said Billy delightedly. ‘Humans one, giant ravening beast nil!’

  Mega Knox took a step forward, enraged, and spotted Nicholas Knox trying to drag himself to cover. It lifted its head and roared. ‘It’s going to marmelise him!’ yelled Murph. ‘Quick!’

  ‘I’ve got it!’ said Hilda, popping her horses into being. ‘I’ve been practising this one for a while,’ she told the others. ‘Never quite managed it so far, but there’s a first time for everything.’ She gave a rather strained smile. ‘Artax, Epona – prepare for Operation Gallopy-Gallopy Shoes!’

  ‘Operation Gallopy-Gallopy Shoes?’ queried Murph. ‘What the cheese bap is that?’

  ‘You’re about to find out!’ said Hilda as her horses took up position side by side in front of her. She bent her knees and took a leap forward, landing with one foot on each horse’s back. ‘Go!’ she ordered, windmilling her arms in a desperate attempt to try and keep her balance.

  We don’t know if you’ve ever seen one of those horse-riding stunt things that cowboys love to do, where they ride two horses, only standing up with one foot on each saddle? Well, imagine that, only with Hilda dressed in her full purple-and-yellow Equana costume, complete with ears, and really, really small horses. It looked a little like a young deer making its first attempt at rollerskating on ice as she plunged forward, yelling, ‘Oi! Ugly bug! Over here! Over here!’

  Mega Knox looked around in confusion at the charging girl, raising a fist in preparation to attack. ‘Faster, Hilda! Faster!’ exhorted Murph.

  ‘Horse upgrade!’ yelled Billy, diving forward and sending his Cape out towards her.

  Afterwards, Hilda was never sure how she managed to keep her balance as the twin horses ballooned underneath her until she was riding two massive stallions across the moonlit courtyard in front of the palace. But keep her balance she did. The horses bent their necks, nostrils flaring, and galloped for all they were worth, Hilda’s curly hair flying out behind her as she whooped and squealed with joy. Mega Knox spun in a cumbersom
e circle, occasionally lashing out with a giant fist but unable to keep pace with the horses’ incredible turn of speed.

  ‘How are we possibly going to put that thing down?’ panted Mary. ‘It’s enormous! And it’s really, really thick-skinned.’

  ‘I don’t think we were planning to insult it to death anyway, Mary,’ retorted Billy.

  ‘Not thick-skinned as in ... Oh, never mind,’ she sighed.

  Murph was thinking fast. Mega Knox was indeed too big for them to pose much of a threat to it. What they needed was a size advantage. Before he could change his mind, he gave the order. ‘Billy!’ he shouted. ‘Quick! Balloon me!’

  ‘Are you joking?’ yelled Billy.

  ‘Do I look like I’m joking?’ shouted Murph desperately. ‘We are literally about to be mashed into … mash by this freak! I need to be mega too! Balloon me!’

  ‘You got it, chief!’ yelled Billy, adding under his breath, ‘This is going to be weird.’ He jabbed his hands towards Kid Normal. ‘One mega-Murph coming right up!’

  The sensation of being hit with Billy’s Capability was an extremely odd one. Murph felt as if his whole head had been filled with compressed air, and he staggered, temporarily off balance as his legs elongated. He squinted his eyes as the street lights hurt his suddenly enormous pupils. Mega Knox had stopped dead, confused by the appearance of a giant child in front of it. Hilda’s horses careened away in fright, galloping away towards the woods, with Hilda shouting, ‘It’s just Murph, you sillies! Whoa! Whoa!’

  Murph looked down at himself. He had kind of been expecting to be a bit more muscly-looking. In fact, he was simply an elongated version of himself, not unlike one of those giant flappy, wobbly characters you sometimes see outside car dealerships. ‘Billy!’ he complained. ‘I’m all long!’

  ‘I can only work with what I’ve got!’ replied Billy cheerily. ‘You need to hit the gym, mate.’

  ‘Fine,’ muttered Murph to himself, squaring up to Mega Knox, which began to swing a giant first in his direction. Thinking quickly, Murph stretched out a long leg and hooked his foot behind the creature’s chunky ankle. With a gigantic tug he was able to pull it off balance. Mega Knox crashed over on to its back with a roar.

  ‘Bravo, Captain Spaghetti Legs,’ applauded Billy sarcastically as Murph scampered back to take cover alongside him, gradually regaining his normal size as he did so with a loud parping noise like a deflating balloon.

  Murph looked queasily at the gigantic monster now sprawled on the ground in front of them. If they didn’t manage to stop it, who knew what destruction it would wreak? And what power on earth could possibly stop it? This had to end here, tonight. But what more could they possibly do?

  He felt a tug at his sleeve. Nellie had crawled up beside him, looking at the enormous form of Mega Knox with wide eyes. ‘We need to stop that thing,’ she said to him, her always gentle voice underscored with the tang of steel.

  ‘Nellie,’ said Murph as Mega Knox sat up groggily, shaking its head and howling. ‘Have you had an idea?’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ she said. ‘But … maybe?’

  ‘Maybe will have to do for now,’ he told her. ‘If maybe is the best we’ve got, I’ll settle for maybe.’

  ‘Billy’s ballooned the horses,’ said Nellie. ‘He’s ballooned you. He’s never ballooned my lightning … has he?’

  Murph’s mouth fell open. ‘But Nellie,’ he said, aghast. ‘Your lightning goes straight through YOU. What on earth would happen if you got hit by giant lightning bolts?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ she admitted, ‘but it’s the only plan we’ve got right now. You said you’d settle for maybe. Don’t worry –’ she gave him a rare smile from behind her hair – ‘I haven’t managed to electrocute myself yet.’

  Murph’s brain quailed like a generously seasoned slug at the thought of what might happen if this went wrong. But he trusted his pilot. ‘Let’s do it,’ he told Nellie, who nodded seriously.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Mary and Billy had joined them.

  ‘Nellie’s got a plan,’ Murph told them. ‘Do as she says … no questions.’

  Mary looked doubtful for a moment, then caught Nellie’s determined gaze, and her face softened. ‘Over to you, Rain Shadow,’ she said.

  ‘It’ll take all of us working together,’ said Nellie. ‘You need to keep that thing busy while I whip up the biggest storm I can. And then, when I’m ready … Mary. We need to get up high –’ she looked above Mega Knox’s head – ‘and Billy, you need to come too.’

  Mary paused. ‘Right,’ she told her friend. ‘Let’s do it. Nellie … we’re in your hands.’

  ‘Balloon Boy ready!’ confirmed Billy.

  ‘Go, Nellie, go!’ yelled Murph, running forward and fumbling with the utility belt. ‘I’ll buy you some time. Get that weather going!’

  Nellie dropped into a crouch, closing her eyes in concentration and holding out her hands in the palms-upward gesture they knew so well. Murph felt a pang as he glanced back over his shoulder. What she was about to attempt was incredibly dangerous, but none of them could think of turning back now.

  Above them, the clouds began to thicken as if dark paint were bleeding through the sky. A sudden chilly wind whipped up clouds of stinging dust as Murph sprinted across the shattered concrete towards Mega Knox, which was now struggling to its feet.

  Murph pulled the Grapple Gun from his utility belt. It was squat and snug in his palm. For a moment, a memory flashed into his mind of the day he’d used this gadget to escape from one of Nektar’s attack drones. For a second he was back in the old kitchen of the boring house he had hated so much … then a roar from Mega Knox brought him back to the present. It had spotted him, and was mashing its fists together and pawing the ground, preparing to charge.

  Aiming carefully, Murph squeezed the trigger. The grappling hook shot out of the end of the gun, unfolding as it flew and dragging a thin, strong rope behind it. With a clang, the hooks caught on a piece of tumbled stone just beside the creature. Murph gave the rope a quick tug to make sure it would hold, then started running as fast as he could, aiming to tangle Mega Knox’s legs up if he could.

  Suddenly Hilda reappeared, with one foot still on either horse and wheeling her arms like a pair of fans as she fought to maintain her balance. Mega Knox roared, bending down to pick up an enormous slab of stone that had tumbled from the statue’s plinth.

  ‘Look out, Hilda!’ yelled Murph as the monster held the stone above its head, preparing to fling. Hilda finally lost her balance, only just managing to cling to Epona’s neck as he veered to one side. Mega Knox tossed the stone slab, which came flying towards them, turning end over end until it hit the ground with a sickening crash.

  ‘Artax!’ wailed Hilda. ‘Artax!’ There was no answering whinny. The slab had come to rest tilted against a pavement, and there was no sign of the large white horse who, up until a moment ago, had been in that exact spot. Mega Knox dropped into a crouch, its glittering eyes regarding them with manic cruelty. A deep, triumphant growl bubbled in its throat, as if it could sense Hilda’s distress and inhale it like some delectable scent.

  By now, Murph had completed a circuit, tangling its thick legs together. He wound the rope back on itself, leaving the Grapple Gun dangling there as he dashed for safety. Mega Knox caught his movement out of the corner of its eye and reared upwards, preparing to pounce. But with its legs tied together it reeled backwards unsteadily, crying out in confusion.

  ‘Now, Nellie, NOW!’ yelled Murph, running helter-skelter towards the sobbing Hilda.

  ‘Ready,’ said Nellie quietly to Mary, who merely nodded. ‘Billy?’

  Billy was looking at Hilda in quiet fury. ‘Let’s finish this,’ he said grimly.

  Mary grabbed Billy firmly round the waist, and he in turn held tightly to Nellie. Mary held out her other arm and opened her yellow umbrella. The three of them rose rapidly into the air. Nellie’s eyes were closed in concentration, the clouds above them now jet black and
boiling furiously. At that moment there was a cataclysmic clap of thunder, so loud and sudden that it shattered the glass windows along the front of the Presidential Palace. A faint, ominous flashing illuminated the edges of the roiling, stygian thunderhead that had formed above them.

  Mary, Billy and Nellie shot upwards, the yellow umbrella flapping noisily in the wind. ‘Are you sure about this?’ shouted Mary over the noise. Her friend merely gave a faint nod, still bending all her concentration to creating the biggest storm she had ever attempted.

  Within seconds they were directly above Mega Knox. Mary had to battle to hover amongst the powerful jets of wind tugging them this way and that. ‘Almost there,’ she heard Nellie mutter to herself. ‘Almost there.’

  ‘Ready, Billy?’ shouted Nellie over the noise of the wind.

  ‘Ready!’

  ‘Now!’ gasped Nellie, spreading her hands wide and pushing herself away from him. She spread her arms and legs out like a skydiver as she plunged towards Knox’s head, flickers of bluish lightning beginning to dart down from the clouds as she fell. ‘Three … two … one … GO!’ she yelled, unleashing the full power of the storm. This time, the thunderclap was so loud that everyone within five miles ducked and covered their ears, looking in terror at the bright lightning flashes that illuminated the entire sky.

  At the same moment, Billy threw out his Capability with all the strength he could muster. Lightning bolts were already forking down from the clouds, but as his power hit them they enlarged. Forks of bright white, as thick as telegraph poles, slammed into Nellie’s outstretched palms, and she directed them downwards straight at Mega Knox.

  Mary was already swooping down to catch Nellie, but the heat from the lightning bolts was swirling the wind into eddies and whirlwinds. One of these caught the yellow umbrella, and Mary was whisked upwards and away with a startled scream. Billy, however, wriggled free from her arm and dived towards Nellie, who was still plummeting towards the ground.