This Kiss

by Teresa Southwick

Trustingly, Ben patted his father’s big hand where it rested against his abdomen. “So you can move here,” he said, his four-year-old logic simplifying everything.

  “It’s not that easy, son.”

  “Why?” The little guy turned puppy dog eyes on his dad.

  “Because Hannah’s things are there and—”

  The boy half turned and put an arm around his father’s neck. “I know what. How ’bout if we help? We’ll put all her stuff in your truck and bring it here.”

  “Oh, sweetie—” His words squeezed Hannah’s heart. This pint-sized cowboy could grow on her without half trying.

  Dev met her gaze and along with his fear she saw the tiniest bit of humor. “I should get out the map and show him how far it is. But somehow I still don’t think he would get it.”

  She smiled. “Yeah, kids are pretty literal.”

  “I do get it, Daddy. I want Hannah to stay and we should help her.”

  Dev curved one hand around the boy’s small shoulders and turned him so they were face to face. “Hannah is a busy lady, an important doctor. She lives in California and her job is there.”

  “Makin’ people better?”

  “That’s right.” Dev nodded encouragingly.

  “Kids get sick here, too,” the child pointed out sagely.

  Oh, boy, she thought. Ben Hart, almost four—and pretty precocious for his age—could rip her heart out with one chubby little fist and walk away with it in his back pocket.

  “Yes, they do,” she said. “And then you go to see Doc Holloway. He was my doctor when I was a little girl.”

  Dev glanced at her, then back to his son. “You know how I work hard to make the ranch grow?” When the child nodded, he continued, “Hannah has worked hard like that to join a practice in California.”

  “But she’s already a doctor. Why does she hafta practice?”

  She caught her top lip between her teeth to stop the laugh that threatened. “A practice is a doctor’s business, like raising horses and cattle is your daddy’s job,” she explained.

  “So bring your business here,” Ben said.

  “Oh, sweetie. I can’t.” She searched desperately for the words to make him understand. “Could your daddy move his ranch somewhere else?”

  From the safe circle of his father’s arms, the child half turned toward her and she could almost see the wheels turning in his mind. Finally, he shook his head. “Nope.”

  “It’s the same way with my business. My patients are a long way away. If I live here in Texas, they can’t come see me to make them better. I have to stay there.”

  “But I’m here,” he said, pointing a finger at his small chest.

  Oh, mercy, she thought. “Yes, you are here. And I’m going to be very sad when I have to leave you.”

  “Don’t leave,” the boy said, as if that settled everything. “Then Daddy and I can make you happy.”

  Dev coughed uncomfortably. “Her dreams aren’t here, son.”

  The boy’s brow furrowed as he thought that one over. “How come, Daddy? When I have a bad dream it’s here too.”

  “I’m not talking about nightmares,” Dev explained patiently. “I’m talking about what Hannah wants in her life. And she doesn’t want a life here. A man can’t make a woman happy if her dreams don’t include him.”

  Hannah saw the faraway look in his eyes and the flash of pain. Was he talking about his ex-wife, Ben’s mother? Again she wondered what had split them up. What was his story?

  Ben concentrated on his father’s words for a while, then said, “I know. We hafta change Hannah’s dream to ’clude us, Daddy.”

  Dev’s mouth curved up at the corners and again she couldn’t help wondering what his lips would feel like against her own. Heat started in her breasts and radiated north and south. If the warmth showed pink in her cheeks, she hoped he would chalk it up to their time outdoors. In a way that was true although not because of the sun. Sitting so close to him on that horse had given her trouble of the man/woman kind.

  “One person can’t change another person’s dreams, son,” Dev explained patiently. “Hannah has already made up her own mind what she wants to do.”

  “You hafta change her mind.” It was as if his father hadn’t spoken.

  Hannah wondered if the child had inherited that stubborn, single-minded determination from his father. If so, and Dev turned the force of it on her, there could be hell to pay. But that wasn’t likely. This was history repeating itself. She’d noticed him, but he wouldn’t give her a tumble.

  “I can’t change her mind,” Dev said.

  More like he didn’t want to, Hannah realized. That was a relief. But the thought rang just a bit hollow.

  “Sure you can, Daddy. You tell me all the time I can do anything if I just try. You gotta try.” His eyes, the same shade as his father’s, lit up. “I know what you can do.”

  “I know I’m going to regret this,” Dev said to Hannah. Then he looked at Ben. “What can I do?”

  “Kiss Hannah.” The child nodded emphatically.

  The heat that had just receded returned to Hannah’s cheeks. “Sweetie, I don’t think your dad wants to do that.”

  “Sure he does. He kissed Cassie Gordon once and he did it good because I heard him tell Polly that she wouldn’t leave him alone afterward.”

  Her mouth twitched at the look on Dev’s face. He was still wearing his hat. The shadow it cast prevented her from seeing if he blushed, but he was definitely squirming. Chalk one up for the offspring.

  “Is this true?” she asked.

  “Well—”

  “So you’re still the Pied Piper of Destiny’s female population?”

  “Not even close.”

  “But what about poor Cassie Gordon?”

  “Don’t you worry your pretty little head over her,” Dev said wryly. “She’s a barracuda in sheep’s clothing.”

  “That’s a mixed metaphor.”

  “Since when is English grammar your specialty?”

  She shrugged. “I’m an all-around gifted gal.”

  Ben put his little hands on his father’s face and turned it toward him. “Daddy, you hafta kiss Hannah. You can change her dream. It works in the movies.”

  “What are you letting this child watch?” she asked.

  He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “That’s a good question.”

  “I saw it in Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White— all of ’em. Polly said they’re okay.”

  “You’re going to have your hands full with him, Dev. He’s a bright one. If anyone knows what a double-edged sword that can be, it’s me.”

  He sighed, then looked at Ben. “Life isn’t as easy as a movie or a book—or high school,” he said meeting her gaze.

  “High school easy? I prefer to think of it as the school of hard knocks,” she said.

  “But Daddy—”

  “Ben,” he said firmly, “this discussion is over. Hannah and I are going in the kitchen. You watch the cat clean up her babies. And don’t touch them,” he warned. “Mothers will do anything to protect their babies and she might scratch you if she’s afraid you’ll hurt them.”

  “Mothers do that?” Ben asked.

  “Yeah,” Dev said. “Except yours,” he added, too softly for the preoccupied boy to hear.

  He pushed to his feet, then held a hand down to Hannah. She took it, letting him help her up. As surely as she felt the warmth of his palm enveloping hers, she felt Dev’s concern for his child. Whatever he asked, she would do. If it meant not hurting Ben, she was prepared to leave the ranch.

  After dinner and the dreaded paperwork, Dev walked out on the front porch to clear his head. He stretched as he stared at the clear Texas sky sprinkled with thousands of twinkling stars. Was there a prettier sight anywhere? He doubted it. Unless it was the way the sun brought out the gold in Hannah’s hair.

  Good Lord. She’d been there twenty-four hours and he couldn’t seem to control his thoughts about her. Especial
ly her full, sensuous lips—a mouth made for kissing.

  He recalled telling Ben that life wasn’t as simple as movies or books—or high school. Hannah remembered it as the school of hard knocks. But he disagreed. Back then, it was a whole lot easier to ignore Hannah. He’d never once thought about what it would feel like to kiss her. Since seeing her again, he’d thought of very little else. Now that was a hard knock.

  As the refreshing evening breeze washed over his heated skin, he took a deep breath. His gaze wandered over the front yard and the outbuildings in the distance. As it swung in closer, he thought he saw movement in the white-painted gazebo that sat about a hundred yards from the house. Looking closer, he spotted a lime-green shirt.

  Hannah.

  She’d disappeared as soon as she’d helped Polly clean up the dinner dishes. If she was trying to hide, she’d have to do better than neon green. He was a fool three times over for even considering it, but decided it would be less than Texas neighborly to ignore her. He walked down the steps and crossed the length of the sidewalk, then into the shadowed interior of the small, intimate structure.

  “Evening,” he said.

  “Hi.”

  “Mind if I join you?”

  “Nope.”

  He sat down in a spot he gauged to be a safe distance across from her. Unfortunately she was upwind. A sweet, flowery, feminine fragrance he somehow knew he would always connect to Hannah drifted to him on the breeze. Her hair was loose and caught behind her ears, held there by a headband that matched her shirt. The moonlight turned the silky strands to silver. Sitting ramrod straight, she held her knees together, hands on her slender thighs. Her eyes looked enormous in the soft, romantic light.

  “Pretty…” he said.

  “Hmm?”

  He cleared his throat. “Pretty night.”

  “Mmm,” was her only comment.

  He leaned back against the wood enclosure and stretched his arms out, resting them on the railing. “That was a great dinner. Your mom is a good cook.”

  “Yes, she is. When I was growing up, she stretched the grocery budget as far as it would go and came up with some truly imaginative meals.” She smiled, a faraway expression on her face. “Clean out the refrigerator for two, hamburger surprise. The surprise was no hamburger anywhere in the meal.”

  “You had a rough time growing up?” It didn’t seem she could sit any straighter, but she tensed at his words.

  “We got by,” was all she said.

  “Do you like to cook?”

  As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Dev wanted to call them back. After what Ben had said earlier, it sounded way too much like a job interview.

  “Me? Cook?” She laughed and the musical sound burrowed inside him. “You have no idea how funny that is.”

  “A simple no would do.”

  “It’s not that easy. I believe anyone who can read can follow directions and put together a meal. Then there are people like Mom who can take a recipe and make magic. I would rather read the latest medical journal.”

  “So you made the right choice—becoming a doctor?”

  “No question about it.”

  The words were filled with satisfaction and passion, he thought, for her work. He couldn’t help wondering if any man could coax that reaction from her. A man like him.

  Foolish thought number one. A man like him didn’t want to coax any kind of reaction from a woman like her. She’d just admitted her devotion to her work and the fact that she wasn’t the homemaker type. Did he need a rude awakening with a two-by-four to get that message through his thick skull? He’d made one mistake. He wasn’t about to walk into another with his eyes wide open. Especially with Ben to protect.

  “Can I ask you something, Dev? You left the house after the kittens were born and I didn’t get a chance to talk to you.”

  “Sure.” Please. Anything to get his mind off her.

  “Is it all right with you that I’m here?”

  Hell, yeah, was his instant thought. He tamped it down before answering. “Why would you ask?”

  She linked her fingers together and he suspected if he could see them, he would find that her knuckles were white.

  “Because of Ben.”

  He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. He let his linked hands dangle between his splayed knees. His son was his reason for everything.

  “What about Ben?” The words came out more sharply than he intended.

  “I saw the look on your face earlier, when he said he didn’t want me to go.”

  “He’s only three.”

  “Four next week,” she pointed out.

  “Yeah. You said he’s bright. Maybe in a week he’ll understand how far away California is and why you can’t stay.”

  “Maybe. But I’m concerned about his unreasonable expectations.”

  “About?”

  “Us,” she said.

  “Because?”

  “You don’t want a serious relationship anymore than I do.”

  “Really?” he asked.

  Since when did telling him what he did or didn’t want fall under the heading of medical advice? It didn’t make any difference that she’d guessed right. Or was he annoyed because she confirmed his suspicion that she wasn’t interested? “So your medical expertise is in the mental health field? Or you’re psychic?”

  “I’ve got twenty/twenty vision with my contacts and I saw your face when you explained to Ben that a man can’t make a woman happy if her dreams don’t include him.”

  “I just don’t want the boy to get hurt.”

  “I’ve dedicated my life to making people better. I wouldn’t hurt him.”

  “Not intentionally.” He let out a long breath. “And yeah. You’re right. I don’t want him to get ideas about anything, you know, between you and I.”

  “What happened with you and Ben’s mother?”

  “The usual. Irreconcilable differences.”

  “Two multiple syllable words that don’t tell me a thing. What’s your story, Dev?”

  “Since when does a doctor need the gory, personal details?”

  “You’d be surprised. Each patient is a mystery and the symptoms are clues. One tiny fact if overlooked can cause a doctor to make a wrong diagnosis. And a person’s mental state can have a major impact on recovery.”

  “I’m recovered just fine,” he snapped.

  “Okay. Then call me a curious old friend who’s wondering what you’ve been up to for the last ten years.”

  For reasons he didn’t understand, he wanted to tell Hannah what happened. For Ben’s sake, he decided. “Corie was beautiful—probably still is,” he said with a chuckle that lacked humor. “She was the rodeo queen.”

  “Lucky her,” she said, a wistful note in her voice.

  Something in her tone made him defensive. Probably her comment about adoring females following him around. When was she going to give him credit for ten years of growing up?

  “Believe it or not, there’s more criteria to being chosen queen than just looks. Although she had looks and then some.”

  “I believe you.”

  “Girls have to have good grades—”

  “Wow. I could have been in the running.”

  “And involved in their school and community. It’s a big commitment on top of being pretty.”

  “Well, if pretty is involved in any way, that lets me out.”

  “You underestimate yourself,” he said, his voice gruff.

  She looked down at her hands in her lap. “You were telling me about you and Corie.”

  “Right,” he said, relieved to go back to anything besides Hannah. “I wanted what I grew up with—a family, a stay-at-home woman who would be there at night for me and our children. I thought she felt the same way I did. I fell hard and fast for the rodeo queen.”

  “So you married her.”

  “Yeah.”

  “What happened?”

  “She got pregnant right away and Ben wa
s born. But all her life, everyone told her she was pretty enough to be a New York model. She couldn’t get that out of her head.”

  “I know what it’s like to have a dream,” she said gently.

  “Yeah. Well she did, all right. She worked hard and got back into shape real fast. I didn’t realize her dream was an obsession until she told me she was leaving. She had to try.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I tried to talk her out of it. Then I just tried to convince her not to go until Ben was a little older.”

  “She wanted to take Ben with her?”

  He shook his head. “And to this day I can’t decide if that makes it better or worse.” He shrugged. “In the end, neither Ben nor I was enough to keep her on the ranch.”

  For him, the sting was gone from her leaving. But he was left with the lesson that career and family were like oil and water. Now he was solely responsible for protecting his son.

  “Does she see Ben?”

  “Not really. She’s busy. Part of me wishes she’d fallen flat on her fanny. But she’s getting steady work—not the pie-in-the-sky stuff, but she keeps a roof over her head and food on the table and sometimes she even remembers to send him something for Christmas and his birthday.”

  “I’m sorry, Dev.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Don’t spout macho bull. Of course it does or you wouldn’t have tried to protect Ben from me.”

  “I didn’t—”

  She held her hands up. “That wasn’t a criticism. Just a fact. I like that you did. You’d be surprised how many parents don’t care about their children. He’s lucky to have you for a father.”

  Somehow, her words took a heavy weight from his shoulders. “Thank you, ma’am.”

  “You’re welcome. Now the question is finding him a mother.”

  “The answer is—not in this lifetime.”

  An unladylike noise that sounded an awful lot like a snort came at him from across the gazebo. “More bull,” she said. “But what can you expect from a man whose life’s work is raising stock.”

  “Is that sass? And humor? Did you just make a pun?”

  She laughed. “I reckon so.”

  “Okay. Just checking.”

  “Seriously, Dev, Destiny is probably the best place to find a woman who wants the same things you do.”