Let me draw a parallel with finances. If you know when you will receive your paycheck, you can plan your expenses. You can decide exactly how much you want spend and know what you can and cannot afford – in other words, you can create a clear mental picture of what things will be like from paycheck to paycheck. If your paycheck doesn’t come regularly, or you receive a check for a different amount every time, you will have no idea as to what you will be able to afford until you have it in your hand, making it impossible to plan and organize your life.
The same is true for your personal life – if you plan to meet your partner some day in the future, your mind is not looking for favourable opportunities, and you are not ready for action. So, if you wonder why you are still single and haven’t met that perfect woman, it is probably because you don’t have a plan.
Truth is, your life is full of beautiful women ready for a relationship; every day you pass them on the streets, sit next to them in a restaurant or meet them at your workplace. So why aren’t you in a relationship with any of them? The answer is simple – because you are not giving off the right vibes. I am not talking about some voodoo mumbo-jumbo, I am talking about basic psychology – when you are ready to meet someone, consciously and subconsciously you send out signals that tell the opposite sex about your intentions. If you think you’d like a relationship, but are not ready for one, you send those signals too! What’s even worse, when you are looking for a relationship without being mentally prepared for it, you end up attracting the wrong kind of women – women that are not your type, women you don’t feel comfortable with, and women who have nothing in common with your dream woman.
So, how do you create a dating plan? These simple steps will give you a good start.
Create a “dating Calendar”
Where do you find one? Since you purchased this book, you can get a free calendar at OksanaLove.com.
After you register your profile, I will mail you a calendar with photos of our 12 most attractive single women who are actively looking for a husband. I know every one of them personally and think that seeing their beautiful faces and smiles is the best incentive you can have to encourage you in your 90-day search.
Aside from being full of beautiful photos of single women you can meet, the calendar has a very important function – it will help you organize your search and map out its most important landmarks.
Before you start filling out the calendar, you must consider a few things. The first important thing to consider is the location of your dream woman – does she live in your country or are you looking for a Russian bride overseas? This is a crucial factor which will determine how much time you have for all other activities. For example, if you want to meet a woman that lives overseas, you have to allow at least 2-3 months for communication and planning the trip. Even if you want to be with a woman who lives in the same country as you, there might still be plenty of things to prepare before the meeting takes place – you might need to get your house in order for your future wife to see the way you live, to improve your wardrobe and grooming if need be, to sort out any unfinished personal business, etc. All these things are essential to make a good impression on a woman you like and to prove that you are ready for commitment and a serious relationship.
You might think that you can manage these things as your relationship progresses, but my experience shows that it never really works – there is nothing more permanent than a temporary solution. If you leave important things “for later”, you risk to never get them done, thus robbing yourself of a chance to be with the right woman.
Create a master list
Now you need to make a list of everything you need to do to ensure a perfect meeting with the perfect woman. This list needs to include everything that you need to do up to the moment you meet her, from writing down the description of your future Russian wife and planning your budget for travel to losing weight and shopping for clothes.
If you think this is an unnecessary step, let me assure you that it is not so. Once you embark on your search, things can get overwhelming really fast – remember, you are on a 90-day deadline! If you have the list of all the activities in front of you, you can plan and schedule them at a comfortable pace, focusing on all the right things. Otherwise, it is easy to get distracted or miss something, so by the time your perfect woman will be ready to meet you, you will not be ready to meet her.
Block and mark all tasks
Now that you have a master list of everything you need to do to create a great impression on your Russian woman, you need to create time blocks and mark all deadlines in the calendar. If you have allowed yourself four weeks to get in shape by going to the gym three times a week, mark that on the calendar. If you know that you need to plan a shopping trip within the next month, select a day for it and stick to the chosen date. Once you complete this part of your preparation, make sure you look at your calendar daily and mark the progress of your preparation. For example, if you are trying to lose weight, mark your progress every day; if you have completed a visit to the travel agency, cross it off on the calendar.
Now, the final point: don’t delay, create the calendar right now (well, maybe after you finish reading the book, or at least this chapter!). The sooner you organize your thoughts about all the things you need to do, the sooner you will be truly ready to meet a wonderful Russian woman with confidence and ease.
–––— Resource! –––—
To receive your free copy of “The Most Beautiful Russian Women In the World” wall calendar + IN-DEPTH background of each of the ladies presented in it, visit www.OksanaLove.com/gift to register your profile, use FREE416 in the promo code field to claim your complimentary gift.
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Ready, set, dream
Truth be told, not every man who comes to my agency finds the woman of his dreams… simply because most men have NO clue what their perfect woman is. They have a fairly vague picture in their mind of what they want – young, beautiful, sexy, but that is just a tip of the iceberg.
To really know what your perfect woman is like, you need to think about everything she is: appearance, family situation, age, personal qualities, and so on. But you also need to know what it is that you want – what qualities attract you to women, what you can tolerate, and what you absolutely cannot stand in a partner.
I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to determine what you want in a woman. Otherwise, you will spend months (and hundreds of dollars if you decide to meet) on every “young, beautiful, sexy” girl on the dating websites you visit (there are hundreds of them out there!) without accomplishing anything. I suggest a few simple exercises to help you get your thoughts in order.
First, write down all the details about the woman you want to have in your life, just like you did with your dating calendar. And your description has to go beyond “Oh, as long as she is not a smoker”, because in THIS case why not enjoy yourself with a fat, ugly, retired alcoholic? So long as she is not a smoker, of course. You have to be specific and you have to write it down, because that is the best way to sort all your thoughts. The tables below will help you with this task – they contain suggestions of things to consider, but feel free to add and expand the list.
My strong suggestion is to avoid making any comparison with celebrities. Don’t ask for your perfect woman to look like Angelina Jolie, for example. The actress changes from film to film – a blonde, a brunette, a rebellious teenager or a seductive siren, so it is impossible to create a clear picture in your mind of what you want. Besides, what happens if tomorrow you decide that you favour Halle Berry instead – will you want for your woman to change? If you absolutely must refer to a celebrity, record qualities or specific features you like.
APPEARANCE (include features that are important to you such as height, weight, eye color, hair color, body type, age.)
LIFESTYLE (include features that are important to you such as country of residency, family status, children, spoken languages, educa
tion level, occupational status.)
PERSONALITY (include traits that are important to you – kindness, being athletic, sense of humour, religious preferences, common interests. It is beneficial to reflect upon your past relationships to determine what you liked and didn’t like.)
QUALITIES I WILL NOT TOLERATE (include traits that you are not prepared to tolerate in a partner – be honest, as your future depends on this. Again, it is beneficial to look back at your past relationships and evaluate things that went wrong, that turned you off, that didn’t work and made you unhappy.)
This exercise is A MUST for every gentleman searching for his ideal partner. Whether you believe it or not, our mind only works towards a specific goal when it has a clear picture of what the goal is. This is described in great detail in the documentary “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne which explains how you can make your dreams come true through visualization and the power of thought. Feel free to put watching it on your to-do list in the dating calendar – valuable advice and mind training techniques from leading motivational and empowerment gurus will certainly help you in your search.
CHAPTER 5: MARKETING YOURSELF
Don’t sell yourself cheap
I know it might sound a little odd, but looking for a quality relationship is almost the same as looking for a good job: you want both to be satisfying and to make you happy. When placing your information online, consider it a marketing task – you being the marketed item. In order to market a product well, you must first know it inside and out. This means, you might have to do a lot of self-digging: what are your best traits, values, unique abilities, and qualities? You must know well what makes you unlike everyone else. In a way, your profile is your resume – you must put your best foot forward in just a few lines. Avoid using generic phrases. This is no time for being shy – highlight your strong sides, describe your interests and inner world (without sounding boastful, of course!). It is not an easy task, so you will likely spend some time mulling over all the answers you want to include in your profile. And just as with your resume, a correctly filled out profile will attract only the best candidates.
While you are, in fact, selling and marketing yourself to women, unlike most of the annoying marketers and salesmen, you don’t have thousands and hundreds of thousands of clients to pitch to. You only have a few, and you have to make each one of them count.
It all starts with creating your best online presentation.
In the previous chapter you read about the type of men Russian women are attracted to. I know from personal experience that Russian women go absolutely crazy about men in suites; even a dress shirt with a tie has all chances of getting their attention. The reason is simple - such outfit creates an image of a successful man that Russian women cannot resist; to them it means authority, credibility, and respect – exactly what they are attracted to.
It goes without saying that the style and the fit of your suit should be impeccable, it has to be clean and ironed. If you are not very good at choosing clothes and matching colors, visit a shopping mall and ask for assistance from an experienced sales person (bringing along an honest friend is a bonus). Don’t forget about the shoes – make sure they complete your overall image and are polished. An impeccable outfit that speaks “confidence” must appear in your photos, it is what you should be wearing when you meet your woman for the first time, either via video or in person.
Working on your appearance must begin long before you plan a meeting with the woman of your dreams. A photograph is an essential part of your profile, and I am going to tell you how to create an outstanding photo collection to get maximum hits and responses to your profile.
Naturally, photograph is what attracts a person’s attention to a profile when he/she is browsing though hundreds or thousands of personal ads. People are more likely to open profiles that contain photographs. This means you only have one chance to grab a woman’s attention and get her to read what you have to say about yourself.
Ask a friend to take your photos – an iPhone or any smartphone has a good enough camera to take adequate photos. But if you want a killer shot, use services of a professional photographer. You don’t have to go for hundreds of photos – a few various poses and expressions will do. And whatever you do, do not take photos of your reflection in a mirror – they will not create the impression you are looking for!
Russian women like clean photos – they like well-dressed men, who are clean and neat. This is exactly what your photos should look like, regardless of your line of work. If you are a construction worker and submit a photo of yourself in your work clothes, don’t be surprised if you don’t attract women’s attention. Instead, dig through your closet, get out your suit (a pair of slacks, a dress shirt and a tie will also do) and get yourself together for a few shots (yes, even if you do not feel comfortable wearing such an attire!). The photo on the left is a great example.
If you are not convinced, maybe this story will change your mind. I once had a private client (he is happily married now) who is a great man: simple, easy to get along with, very kind and considerate, with a great sense of humour, but of average appearance – just your ordinary guy. He was a farmer and enjoyed his work a lot. He was so proud of his occupation that he wanted to share all the glory of it with the Russian women on the dating website – he included in his profile photos of himself using machinery and driving a combine harvester (even though he rarely drives it and generally only manages harvesting). Guess what the response rate from women was? About 10%.
When he asked me for help, it didn’t take me long to explain to him how he has misrepresented himself in the photos: while he gets out in the field from time to time, most of his work is in the office (managing, controlling, contracting, conducting meetings, and so on). Looking at his photos, women thought he spends all of his time slaving away in the dirt and has no life outside the field, although he spends half his time in a condo on a beach near Florida, is a frequent traveler, and loves the Caribbean.
The first change I made was to his online image to reflect his life the way it really is. Yes, I made him wear one of his suites for the photos as well as told him to post photos of his condo and photographs from his travels. He also added photos of his house. His response rate went to almost 80%! Not bad, huh? With just these few changes almost every girl he contacted wanted to talk to him.
Getting back on the subject, what should you include in your collection of photos?
Work photos. It is beneficial to add some photos of your work or you at work – they will help women imagine all aspects of your life vividly. Photos in the office are quite a hit within Eastern European ladies. If you are a business man, use it as a photo opportunity. Most women are drawn to men of authority – show them you are the boss and you are guaranteed attention and numerous letters.
Your life. Showing details of your everyday life will help your woman imagine a life together. Show her your surroundings, so she can understand what her life will be when she moves in with you. This can be done by displaying photos of your house/apartment, your car, etc. Remember, Russian women keep clean and neat homes, so make sure everything is tidy and in place before taking photos.
A few words about car photos – most Russian women (the ones who live overseas) would not understand what a “truck” means; to her it can very well mean that you drive a semi-truck. Also, all SUV’s and trucks in Russia are called a “jeep”. So, it is better if you can add some photos to show her what you really mean.
Don’t forget to include photos of the activities you are involved in – rafting, skiing, jogging, skateboarding or merely spending time with friends. By sharing such moments with your lady, you will make her feel like she is a part of your life already.
Your children. If you have any children who live with you and who your future wife would need to help you to raise, I suggest you add their photos to your profile as well. This is important since a woman will become their step mother and she will certainly want to see those pho
tos too. And what can be better than showing her your happy family with smiley cute little faces on these photos?
Your country, state, city. Men often don’t think about posting such photos, but it is highly advisable. You can write volumes about how beautiful your country or city is, but a picture is truly worth a thousand words. Most women will not be able to imagine your living conditions (same as you will most likely not be able to imagine her living conditions and situation), unless they can see it. They might be able to find some information online, but since most women have limited Internet access and some of them might not know how to use a computer, it will be a lot easier for them to see photos in your profile. The same goes for women who live in the USA – you will be surprised, but the stats of my agency show that in many cases women from California have never visited any other state and have no idea what other cities/states look like.
Create a Unique Personal Proposition (UPP)
We’ve finally reached the next stage of your search, and you will need to take further action and complete another task. Make sure that you have completed homework from the first chapter (describing your ideal woman in detail), because we will be returning to the results of that step several times throughout this book and you will have to do it sooner or later if you really want to get results.
You already know that it is your task to sell yourself to women at the best price; that price is the most desirable woman who is the exact match to the list you have created (you see, you really should go back to chapter four and get it done!). If you want to sell yourself, you need to know how to market yourself – this means you need to tell women why they should choose you over the next guy… and before you can tell them why they should choose you, you need to understand why they would do that… and before you can understand why they would choose you, you need to know what women want.
Russian Allure Page 5
