Eternal Dawn

by Kerrion, Jade;

  His indifferent tone stung her. She switched from personal to professional, and abandoned the defensive for the offensive. “What have you learned from your experiments with aconite?”

  “I think it’s a catalyst; it accelerated my transformation.”

  “But it retarded your self-healing.”

  Rafael grimaced. “I don’t have many data points to work with; I haven’t seen any daevas since moving down here. We know that Ashra and Jaden have trace amounts of aconite in their blood, but for the most part, are healing normally. You and I, with higher concentrations of aconite in our blood, aren’t. Something in icrathari blood is reacting—perhaps even changing—with increased exposure to aconite.”

  “But…a catalyst?”

  He nodded. “A catalyst, with a great deal of potential for further change. I don’t think aconite hasn’t even fully begun to do what it can do to an icrathari or an elder vampire. Right now, all of the body’s resources are so exhaustively channeled into fighting off the aconite that it is less able to heal itself from other damage. It is, however, not succeeding in purging the aconite—we’re not getting any better—which tells me that whatever aconite is doing, it’s permanent.”

  “And what happens when the concentration of aconite finally overwhelms the body’s natural defenses?” Siri asked.

  “I don’t know.” Rafael reached into his pocket for a vial of blood. “Megun’s body was infused with it—from her blood to her hair and nails—yet she did not demonstrate any negative effects.”

  “Immunity? Or saturation?”

  “I wish I knew.” He glanced away for a moment. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

  Siri swallowed through the sudden tightness in her throat. “Not enough. We reached the mines in Siberia and found thin veins of palladium under thirty feet of water.”

  “Water? Where?”

  “In vast underground caves. I suspect the melted snow flooded into the mines before it could be evaporated by the sun.”

  Rafael nodded slowly, the gesture one of quiet resignation. She did not need to tell him what it meant for the palladium glass domes, or for the hibernating children. He knew. “And Svalbard?”

  “We didn’t make it up there. The daevas attacked and damaged our engines. We had to stop to repair them, and by then, we’d lost the advantage of time.”

  “Summer?”

  Siri nodded. “The midnight sun never sets; not until the seasons fade into winter. We’ll return to Svalbard in the future, but not immediately. Ashra’s pregnancy is close to full term, and it’s safer traveling along known routes.” She hesitated. “It’s easy for me to stop by every night. We could talk—”

  He glanced away. Until that moment, she had not realized how much could be said without words. Her breath shuddered out of her. “Rafael, we were almost friends once. Can’t we go back to the way things were?”

  “Can we?” He turned to look at her. The intensity in his eyes made a lie of the indifference in his voice.

  “Do you still blame me for what you’ve become?”

  “I don’t blame you. I never have.”

  “Yourself, then. Why?”

  He shrugged. “It’s in the past. It doesn’t matter.” He looked around the sparse hut. “Here, alone, I’m learning to cope with the heightened stimulation. I’m coming to terms with the fact that death is likely very far away, and that my fate thereafter isn’t certain. I thought I would be with Ariel someday, and Stefan too. That hope’s gone now, and I don’t have anything to replace it with just yet, but someday I will.”

  A smile warmed Siri. Persistent optimism remained Rafael’s core; the man she had known and loved had not been fully extinguished in the elder vampire he had become. “When you find that something, will you come back to the city?” she asked.

  “Perhaps to visit. I know it will surprise you, but I enjoy being out here, free to focus on my plants and my research—”

  “I never realized before you were such an introvert.”

  “I would never have had the time to develop potential cures as quickly if I were back in the city, still working as an herbalist.” His lips curved but it was a sad smile. He knew, as she did, that he could no longer work among humans. “You should go before the city gets too far ahead of you.”

  “I want you to come with me.”

  “But the herbs—”

  “They’re an excuse. You know as well as I do that you can cultivate these plants in the city. We need you back there.”

  “We need you?” He shook his head. “I mistook proximity for friendship, even love, once before, Siri. I don’t intend to make the same mistake again.”

  Siri inhaled sharply. Love. He had loved her. She had suspected, but it was different hearing the words come from his mouth.

  Rafael continued, his voice pitched low. “Maybe someday, when I’m older, wiser, when friendship is all I want from you, I’ll come back, but until then, I can’t live in the tower, close to you, and not want more from us even though it’s a betrayal of Ariel, Stefan, and the person I used to be. Until I can get my heart and head aligned with reality, this is the best place for me to come to terms with myself, free of external influences—” He waved his hand to encompass his surroundings. “Outside the city, separate from you, separate from others.”

  “Will you come back, for me, please?” She swallowed hard past the lump clogging her throat. “My responsibilities—I can’t leave the city indefinitely, but perhaps you could come back instead?”

  “Why?”

  Siri wrung her fingers. “I spend hours every night in your little house by the river. Your scent is fading—”

  “What?”

  Siri shook her head. Her eyes closed briefly. “Come back, please. I can’t make any promises to you—I can’t even keep the only promise I made—but I don’t know how else to ask.”

  Rafael was silent for a long moment. “I need time to think.”

  The heavy pressure against her chest eased slightly. “The city will make another loop of this area tomorrow before we start circling south, to follow the night. I’ll come back for you tomorrow.”

  “If I decide to go with you, I’ll be waiting outside the caves.”

  The noncommittal statement was more than she had expected from him. Her wings beat down and lifted her into the air so that she could wrap an arm around his neck and press a tentative kiss against his cheek.

  Even so, the contact jarred her and made her heartbeat accelerate. His did, too—traitorous evidence that he felt more than he said.

  It was the only hope she could take with her when she left the caverns that day, but it was far more than she had when she had first arrived.

  Rafael watched her walk away. Her slight form faded into the darkness, and moments later, he heard the steel doors open and then close. Once again, the silence fell all around him. The cavern seemed dimmer, as if she had stolen some of the light and taken it with her.

  Keep busy. Stay focused.

  He stepped out of his hut to tend to the plants thriving beneath the columns of light Siri had installed in his garden. The energy cell was running low. He would have to replenish it with a fresh one from the solar charging station outside the caves.

  He had many hours left until sunrise, but he might as well take care of it sooner rather than later. Collecting an empty energy cell from his hut, he set off through the now-familiar tunnels that would take him back to the surface.

  He could smell Siri’s scent in the caves. It would linger for several hours, perhaps even a day. It spawned a sharp ache, but brought an accompanying smile to his lips. She seemed closer—present even when she was not.

  His unique retinal signature unlocked the steel doors that kept his home safe. The sky was still dark when he emerged from the caves, the night air cool. In the east, dawn was a threatening sliver on the distant horizon. He raised his head and closed his eyes, but try as he might, he could not sense the tremors in the air that heralded the pass
ing of Aeternae Noctis. The city was likely hundreds of miles away.

  He had lied when he told Siri he enjoyed the solitude. He missed the bustling liveliness of the town, the smiles on faces as bright as the merry chatter in the square on market day. He missed the companionship of his neighbors, tankards of ale raised in acknowledgment and friendship when he entered the tavern, seeking a warm fire and warmer company.

  He missed her desperately.

  The fact remained though that he belonged nowhere. He was an elder vampire now, rejected by the townspeople for what he had become, in much the same way he rejected the company of Night Terrors—he had no desire to become what they were. To save humanity, they had oppressed it. He understood the logic, the rationale, but could not accept that there was not another way.

  In the meantime, he did not belong anywhere, but this quiet refuge, deep below the ground, was becoming home.

  Come back, please.

  Siri demanded more than he could give. He had no place in Aeternae Noctis, and she was bound by her responsibility to Aeternae Noctis. There was no middle ground for them, no safe place for him.

  But when was love ever safe?

  He had loved Ariel with everything in him, and Stefan with the same fervency, despite knowing how weak his precious son’s grasp on life. He had lost both, but did not regret a shred of attention, time, or affection he had lavished on them.

  Why did he hesitate now with Siri?

  Because she was not human? He was not human either, not anymore.

  Because she did not love him?

  Perhaps she trembled on the cusp of caring for him.

  Siri’s voice came back to him, the subtle catch as she whispered the words, I spend hours every night in your little house by the river. Your scent is fading.

  He did not want his eternity or Siri’s defined by the aching loss of fading scents. She had kissed him; his love was based on a deception; but in the end, it mattered more where he was than how he had arrived there.

  Rafael’s hands were steady as he swapped out the energy cell and sealed the charging station. He hesitated, on the verge of stepping forward to accept Siri’s not-quite-promise. He was immortal now, and consequences of his actions could well resonate for eternity, but it did not mean he had to be any more cautious with his love than he had been as a human.

  Life, even an immortal one, often came down to risking everything for love, however transient. His lips curved into a smile; if he could not take that risk for Siri, he could take it for no one else.

  The plants in their pots could be easily relocated. The jars of dried herbs in his kitchen he would have to pack with care. As for his personal belongings, the only things that mattered were Ariel’s ashes and Stefan’s pillow, blanket, and teddy bear. Those he could stuff into his knapsack; he needed nothing else from his underground home.

  If he began immediately, he would complete his packing with a few hours to spare for his continued research on Megun’s blood.

  He reached into his pocket and pulled out the stoppered vial of Megun’s blood. The daeva’s blood puzzled him. He had compared it to samples of Siri’s blood. Like Siri’s, Megun’s blood was contaminated with aconite, but it also included a significant concentration of something else, a chemical he had not been able to identify despite testing it against all known reagents. He had exhausted all possible tests on Megun’s blood and was no wiser for it.

  Rafael paused. He lifted his head to stare at the vast expanse of scorched landscape. He had assumed that Megun and Siri would be genetically similar since they were from the same originating species, but what if Megun transformed, genetically, as a result of exposure to the sun and to aconite? As far as he knew, humans could not alter their genes even when their physiology changed, but who was to say what the icrathari could or could not do?

  There was one more thing he had not done.

  Did he dare drink Megun’s blood in an experiment to see what would happen?

  Rafael shook his head as he slipped the vial back in to his pocket. He was not crazy enough, or stupid enough. He would talk to Lucas when he returned to the city; perhaps together they could devise an experiment without going straight into clinical trials.

  He returned to the underground caverns. A whiff of foreign scents gave him only a fraction of a second’s warning. A flurry of wings and strong limbs swarmed him and wrestled him to the ground. The energy cell tumbled from his hands. His muscles strained against the six daevas who pinned him down, but he could not break free.

  “Where is she?” A voice spoke from the darkness.

  Rafael stared as the shadows peeled back and the immortali, Erich Dale, stepped forward.

  “Who?” Rafael asked even though he had his suspicions.

  “The warlord.” Erich hissed. “Where is Tera?”

  “Why would Tera come?”

  Erich’s smile bared his fangs. “She won’t. She cares nothing for humans or those who were once human. But she would come, would she not, for another icrathari?”

  Rafael inhaled sharply. “Not Siri. Whatever your issue is with Tera, it doesn’t involve Siri. Leave her out of this.”

  “You learned nothing. I warned you.” Erich wagged a finger in Rafael’s face. “To love them is to be cursed. You are cursed, and still, you care for the demon.”

  “That is my choice, isn’t it?”

  “I’ve watched you work, uncaring of time, to find a cure for her poison. You’re sick too, but you took none of the potion. You gave it all to her.”

  “You’ve been watching me? Where? How?”

  Erich laughed. He spread his arms out. “I see everything. My eyes are everywhere in these caves, even in the alcove you think you have secured against me. When will she return?”

  “Why would she? I’ve given her the potion. She has no reason to return.”

  “I’ve seen her eyes, especially when you are not looking at her. She will come back, and when she does, we’ll be waiting. Perhaps her life will mean more to Tera than yours.” Erich walked closer, his prowl that of a predator. “So, this sickness in your blood slows your healing. How much slower?”

  Rafael ground his teeth together. If Erich expected him to beg for mercy, Erich would have to wait for eternity. I can outlast him. I have to.

  At a signal from Erich, the daevas pulled him to his feet and dragged him through the tunnels back to the large cavern he made his home.

  Steel doors barred the way. The daevas slammed his face against the retinal scanner and held his head steady as a thin red light passed over his eye. The doors slid back, and the daevas yanked him into the alcove.

  “I’ll make it easy for her to find you,” Erich said. “Hold him up against the wall.” He disappeared down another tunnel and returned moments later with a large rock and two metal rods, both sharpened on one end.

  Rafael inhaled sharply.

  Erich grinned. “We must make sure you can’t escape.” He grasped a rod in both hands and lunged forward.

  Rafael screamed, a tearing cry of pain as the sharpened end of the rod penetrated his left shoulder to sink into the limestone wall of the cave. Golden-crimson blood welled up and spilled down his chest, staining his shirt. Breathe. Just breathe through the pain.

  Another flash of white behind his eyes obliterated thought.

  The scream he heard, that of a hunted, wounded animal, had to have come from someone…something else.

  When his vision cleared, his world coalesced into the agony throbbing through his chest, pulsing around the metal rods that pierced both shoulders. He raised his gaze to meet Erich’s eyes and spit out a curse, his words garbled by a mind too dazed to wade through conversation.

  Erich laughed. “You’ll pull yourself off the stakes, I’m sure, but not if you can’t support yourself.” He squatted down, picked up the rock with two hands, and smashed them into Rafael’s knees.

  Bone shattered into fragments, once then twice, as Rafael’s right knee and then his left crumbled. His s
cream caught in his throat as the weight of his body sagged against the rods, sending fresh shafts of pain slicing through him.

  The daevas stepped back, leaving Rafael hanging from his shoulders on the wall of the cave. Erich’s dark eyes were indecipherable. “Considering the state of your injuries, she cannot return quickly enough for you. If I were you, I would pray for the mercy of death.”

  If only it were so simple.

  He had to be alive to warn Siri, to keep her from walking into a trap. He did the only thing he could still do: breathe.

  Rafael breathed through the unending agony that seared him. Through the red haze of pain, he saw the daevas trample his herb garden, yanking up the fragile, precious plants by the roots. The porcelain urn containing Ariel’s ashes was smashed. Stefan’s teddy bear was shredded. Their fragments—the fragments of his life—scattered around the cavern.

  He could not even feel its loss. His world condensed down to nothing but pain and his will to survive it.

  The following night, a slender figure streaked from Aeternae Noctis and cut across the night sky.

  Siri drew in a deep breath. The sound shuddered through her chest. Her wings folded against her back as her feet landed lightly on the scorched soil. The night was cool; the air still. She did not need to look around to know that Rafael was not waiting for her.

  He had obviously decided that his solitude, his peace-of-mind, mattered more.

  How could she blame him when, in his place, she might have made the same decision?

  Yet, she had hoped he would choose otherwise, that he would choose her. Deep inside, she still hoped he would change his mind in the few crucial hours available to him.

  She sat on a rocky crag, her gaze never leaving the hole in the ground that led to Rafael’s caverns. The ache in her chest grew more acute with each passing minute. She watched and waited until the last possible moment, when dawn was a sliver of light against the night sky. Aeternae Noctis was hundreds of miles away, no issue for an icrathari, but now unreachable by a vampire, even an elder vampire.

  Her words had not been enough. Perhaps they might have been months earlier when his love was strongest, but now, with the vast emotional distance to bridge, she would need actions to convince him.