REGRET - The Price of Truth: Everhide Rockstar Romance Series Book 4

by Tania Joyce

  “Yes, you do. Kate needs help writing articles and press releases.” Gemma rubbed Lexi’s arm. “You do that now for work. If you make us sound as amazing as the food in your reviews, we’ll be super happy. We’d love you to come work for us.”

  Lexi stared at the table and blinked. Wow. But . . .

  “Lexi, your photography is stunning.” Kate opened a folder containing printouts of some of the shots Lexi had taken of Everhide, and sifted through them. “Your talent has grown over the years. You’ve got a great eye for detail. It’s raw, sexy and fun.”

  The breath shot from Lexi’s lungs. Praise from someone other than her friends made her head spin. Gave her confidence a massive boost. Hayden had always said she was good; maybe she should believe it.

  Before she could respond, Kyle added, “All travel, accommodation and expenses are covered in addition to your salary. We’ve got to write and record our new album over the next few months, so that will give you time to settle in before we release singles, go on promo and prepare for our next tour.”

  “Tour?” Lexi closed her eyes. A pounding ache erupted inside her head. “Like . . . go with you around the world?”

  “Um . . . yeah.” Hunter chuckled. “It’s what we do.”

  “For months on end?” Travel? She desperately wanted to see the world. She’d only been overseas once. To Belize. With Kyle and Gemma for their wedding. Visiting different countries would be a dream come true. London was at the top of her list. It had been her number-one dream place to visit with Hayden. Hayden? No, don’t think about him now. Her stomach sank like a rock in quicksand. She had other responsibilities. She couldn’t leave New York for months on end; she had to look after her mom. “But my mom—”

  “Lex, give it up.” Gemma flashed her with an enough-of-your-bullshit glare. “I know you care for your mom, but it’s time to get help. It’s not like you’d never see her. We have the odd break during those long months away. You can come home and visit her. You can call her every fucking day if you have to.”

  Lexi fidgeted her fingers underneath the table. Hayden and Gemma had both grilled her about hiring help. Could she do it? Unlock the shackles? This was an opportunity of a lifetime. She burned for it. Nothing she’d done to date had advanced her career. Had never pleased her parents. It was time to do something radical for herself. Stop worrying about everyone else. Hanging out and working with her friends would be a dream come true. She always missed Gemma and Kara when they traveled. She’d be doing photography, working on something new, something exciting, something she loved, but . . . she’d never see Hayden. This would be worse than the distance between New York and Boston.

  Pain erupted in her chest. What was she going to do? This changed everything.

  She pressed her palms against her face, wiped a tear from her eye. “Gem, guys, this is incredible. I’m in shock. I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to answer right away, Lex,” Kyle said. “Sleep on it, take a couple days. But we’d like to know before we head to LA next week.”

  “Okay. I can do that.”

  “We’d love to have you onboard.” Sophie gave her an encouraging smile. “Maybe this will help.” She handed Lexi an offer document.

  Far out . . . The salary was four times the amount she earned at her current job, plus an expense account, health insurance and benefits. A tear caught the edge of her lip. Getting this role was like winning the lottery.

  But Hayden . . . when would I see him?

  Bec grabbed the box of tissues off the counter behind her and handed them to her. “Here, Lexi. You’re already part of this family. You’d be a true asset to our team.”

  “Thank you.” She dabbed her eyes, blew her nose.

  Gemma narrowed her eyes and stared at her. Lexi’s skin prickled all over. Gemma leaned toward her and her gaze never left Lexi’s face. “Guys, can I talk to Lex alone for a few minutes, please?”

  “Sure.” Kyle stretched his hands above his head and stood. “We’ll go grab coffee. Want one, Lex?”

  “Yeah. White with one, please.” Her hand shot over her chest. “Oh shit, would I have to get you coffee if I took the job?”

  Hunter laughed and slapped Bec on the shoulder. “Nope, that’s Bec’s job.”

  Bec smirked and punched him in the arm. “I’m just your bitch, aren’t I?”

  “Yeah, but we love you.” He ruffled the top of her head as they all left the office.

  The second the door closed and the latch clicked, Gemma pounced. “What the hell is going on with you? Why are you not jumping at this job? It’s not about your work, and it can’t be about your mom anymore; there are solutions for that. So it’s Hayden, isn’t it?”

  A shudder ripped through her body, and her heart hid behind her ribs. Her tears turned to acid. “No.” Liar.

  Gemma grabbed and clutched her hand. “He’s moving to Boston.”

  “I know.” She sobbed, trying to pull herself together. Boston is so far away. Why does he have to move so far away?

  Gemma straightened and her eyes widened. “Oh my God. You slept with him.”

  “What? No. How did—?” Did she have it stamped on her forehead?

  “Because you’re a blubbering mess. You won’t look at me. Your cheeks flushed at the mention of his name. Maybe I’ve just had too much media training. I know when you’re fucking lying.”

  “I’m not.” There wasn’t an ounce of conviction in her voice. Pathetic.

  “You. So. Did.” Gemma gaped and swatted Lexi on the back. At the top of her voice, she shrieked, “You slept with Hayden!”

  Kyle and Hunter fell through the door.

  “You what?” Kyle eyes bulged to the size of donuts.

  “About fucking time,” Hunter cheered, placed her coffee on the table.

  “Get. Out.” Gemma pointed to the door. “Now!”

  “But we need the details.” Hunter grinned, nudging Lexi on the shoulder.

  “Out.” Gemma pointed to the door again.

  Kyle pouted and Hunter protested, but they reluctantly obeyed and headed toward the door.

  “Oh, we’re so calling him.” Hunter patted the front of his leather jacket and ripped out his cell phone.

  “No!” Lexi screeched, half-standing. “Please don’t. Please let me talk to him first.”

  Hunter halted. He slipped his cell phone back in his pocket and winked at her. “Spoilsport. You’ve got until this evening. Then we’re onto him.” He chuckled and closed the door behind them.

  She lowered back into her chair and deflated like a balloon. So much for keeping their relationship a secret. Shit.

  Gemma clasped Lexi’s hand and swiveled toward her. Their knees knocked together. Seriousness wiped across Gemma’s face. “So, are you two a thing now?”

  “No. We’re . . . not.” She lowered her chin. Her temples throbbed more than a thumb hit with a hammer. She hated lying. She cared for Hayden, loved being with him, but this job offer was her dream. Was there any way to continue seeing him and take on this role when she’d rarely be at home?

  A shudder coursed through her. She was crushed by the answer. “It’s just some fun before he leaves.”

  “What are you doing?” Gemma shook Lexi’s hand. “He really loves you.”

  Thanks Gem. Now you’re making me feel like shit. “I know. But he knows the deal.”

  Wait. That was right.

  They had a deal.

  A deal she could walk away from, no questions asked. They’d gone past the point of fun and games. But this job was life-altering; the ideal career she’d craved for so long. She couldn’t turn her back on this. Just as her relationship with Hayden had evolved, this would bring it to a skidding halt. Uncertainty versus stability and security was a no-brainer.

  “Are you sure it’s nothing more?” Gemma slowly shook her head. “It’s okay if it is. We still want you to work for us. But you will have to travel a lot.”

  Job, Hayden, job, Hayden, ping-ponge
d through her mind like a ball ricocheting between the bumpers of a pinball machine.

  Then the ball dropped.

  It hurt like fucking hell.

  She clutched at her chest. Regardless of how strong her feelings for Hayden had grown, this was about dreams—Hayden’s dreams and hers. They’d both worked so hard and wanted to make something of their lives. Hayden had the most wonderful opportunities ahead of him. So did she. The light was shining on them, but it shone in different directions. She never wanted to stand in the way of his music. He lived and breathed it. She didn’t want to tie him down or hold him back. He needed to be focused. Be dedicated, not worry about her.

  She’d be crazy not to take this job. But with months away, traveling overseas and across the country, not seeing each other regularly, it was stupid to continue being together. It would be too hard. If she was in New York full-time, seeing each other would’ve been difficult enough, but this job put dating into the realm of impossible. Before their relationship got more serious, before they hurt each other, before their feelings died, she had to let him go. She cared about him enough to set him free. “Gem, I assure you. There is nothing between Hayden and me.” A knife twisted in her heart, dug in deep and ripped it in two as the words left her mouth. “But I will miss him.”

  “We miss you both when we’re away on tour.” Gemma stroked her hair. “But don’t worry. You will see him. You’ll be able to catch up with him every few weeks or couple months. It’ll be fine.”

  She blinked away her tears. “You’re right. ” Wrong.

  Gemma’s eyes narrowed, took on a wicked glint. “You’re positive you’re just friends?”

  Nodding rapidly, she straightened her shoulders. “Yeah . . . we are.”

  Crap. Crap. Crap.

  If she wanted this job, there was no other option. She had to let Hayden go.

  Lucky she was sitting down, otherwise she’d collapse onto the floor.

  “Lex, I love Hayds.” Gemma placed her hand on Lexi’s knee. “We all do. But he’s made his decision to move. He loves his music. You’ve always wanted to do photography. We love your work and want to give you this opportunity. This is for you—no one else. Right?”

  Lexi flung her arms around Gemma. “Thank you. I love you so much.”

  “Me too. Now come work for us.”

  “Okay. You’re amazing. Just so you know, there’ll be no shortcuts. You’ll have me. Two hundred percent.”

  How the hell was she going to tell Hayden? Deep down, she’d wanted to give them a chance, but this was a life-changing opportunity. She had to do this. She’d always looked out for others; it was time to do something for herself.

  “Yay!” Gemma clapped and stomped her feet.

  Lexi stared at the employment agreement on the table. The ache in her chest twisted and throbbed. This was her dream job. But Hayden wouldn’t be around to share it with. He’d been the one who’d encouraged her, supported her, slipped those initial photos to Gemma. He’d opened the door she would’ve never stepped through otherwise. He’d made it happen. How would she ever thank him? He’d made her dreams come true.

  Now she had to help him with his.

  There was only one way to do that. She just hoped they were both strong enough to survive it.

  Being together would be unfair on them both. Too uncertain. Too unstable. She didn’t want that.

  Her job needed commitment. Devotion. Dedication.

  So did his.

  She needed to give this job her all. She wouldn’t let her friends down.

  No holding back.

  Her heart looked to the heavens and cried. Before she took on the role of a lifetime, she had to face her toughest assignment yet.

  She had to call it quits with Hayden. End it. End one of the best things in her life to pursue another.

  It was time. Time to say goodbye.

  Chapter 20

  Towel-drying his hair, Hayden walked out of his bathroom in nothing but his long sweatpants. His muscles thanked him for the hot shower. Practice this morning had been brutal but prepping his surprise for Lexi had been a rush. He’d never done anything romantic for her; he wasn’t the romantic type. But he was about to give it a go. The weather had turned sleety, so indoor activities were on the agenda. It was time to convince her they could still be together when he moved to Boston. Show her he was committed.

  Fuck. Three days to Boston.

  He glanced around the small living room. He’d impressed himself. Lexi’s favorite twinkle lights draped over the big photo of the two of them on the Brooklyn Bridge hanging on the brick wall. Vanilla-scented candles flickered on the shelves spilling an ambient light across the darkened room. He’d ransacked every wardrobe, bed and chair in the place to create a comfy pile of scattered cushions, pillows and quilts on the floor in front of his drums, the sofa and the flat-screen. Her favorite Bollinger champagne chilled in the fridge. The platter full of her go-to chips, cheeses, crackers and chocolate was ready and waiting on the kitchen counter. Rom-com movies on Netflix were set to play. All going well, he’d be licking her favorite mango ice cream off her body for dessert.

  He rubbed his hands together. This afternoon would be perfect.

  Keys jingled in the door lock and his pulse jumped.

  Lexi walked in and froze; her keys still stuck in the lock. At the sight of her red-rimmed eyes, his heart slammed against his ribs. Her cheeks were flushed and blotchy. Her lips trembled and a sob erupted from her throat. He rushed to her side. “Lex?” He took her purse, shut the door, helped her from her damp coat.

  “I . . . I . . . ” She scanned the room and her hands shot up to cover her mouth. She stepped toward the living room and turned in a circle. “Oh, Hayds. What have you done?” Tears welled in her eyes and she shook her head.

  Wasn’t quite the response he’d been expecting. “I was planning a romantic afternoon. But it can wait.” He stepped in front of her and wrapped his arms around her. Pressing her cold cheek against his shoulder, she shivered like a kitten in the rain. He rubbed and stroked the back of her head. “Angel, what’s happened? What’s wrong?”

  Her hands clutched onto and twisted the waistband of his sweatpants. The tension contorting her body lodged fear into his heart. He held her tighter. Whatever it was, they’d get through it.

  It felt like an eternity, but it was only a minute until she was able to talk.

  She stepped out of his embrace, and rubbed and folded her arms. Her face warped from happy to sad and back again. “Gem and the guys offered me a job.”

  “What?” His heart slammed into his skull. “So why are you crying? That’s incredible, isn’t it? Doing what?”

  She sniffled and wiped her eyes on her shirtsleeve. “Photography . . . and marketing and creative stuff.”

  “That’s brilliant.” His voice pitched high.

  But worry lingered in her teary gaze.

  The reality of working for Everhide smacked into him like a car crash. The travel, the long hours, the long periods of time away from home. They’d offered Lexi her dream job. Fuuuuuuck.

  He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. This didn’t matter. They could still be together. They’d make their relationship work.

  Stepping in close to her, he cupped her head. “This is a good thing, right?”

  Just when he’d been sure she loved him and would commit to a long-distance relationship, had his best friends ripped her from his fingertips?

  “Of course, you goose.” She drew his hands away from her cheeks, held them in hers. “They want me to start as soon as possible. I’ve got so much to learn. Sort out my mom. Get up to speed on their projects. It’ll be exciting.”

  He was so happy for her. But he didn’t like the distance darkening her eyes. “What . . . what about us?”

  She squeezed his hands and lowered her chin. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be. You need to focus on your career. I need to focus on mine.”

  “I know we do.” He clutche
d her upper arms. “We’ll come up with a plan.”

  She pursed her lips and shook her head. “There’s nothing to work out.”

  He closed his eyes. His heart splintered into a million pieces and spilled across the floor. The pain was unbearable. “We can be together. Let’s sort it out. I want to be with you.”

  “We have to be realistic.” Her tone, full of resignation, hit him like a ton of bricks. “Long-distance never works. If I was here in New York, we may have had a shot, but not now. Not when I’ll be away so much.”

  He wouldn’t accept this. “Can we at least try?”

  She half-turned toward the wall. “Don’t you understand? I’ll be gone for months on end. You could be on the festival circuit. We’ll never see each other.”

  It was like she was snipping one string in his heart at a time. He spun her around to face him. She wasn’t going to hide from him. Not ever. Clutching onto her arms, he held her tight, didn’t want her to slip away. “We’ll make the effort, Lex. We’ll fly to see each other. Call each other. Catch up whenever you’re home.”

  “It’s not that simple.” Her voice quivered above a whisper.

  “It is. I would spend every dime in my pocket to come see you. You know that.”

  She closed her eyes, her shoulders slumped. “You’re moving to Boston to have a regular gig, save money, make a new record. I don’t want to go down this path again.”

  Fire boiled in his blood. He wasn’t having a bar of this. “I won’t give up on you like Quintin did. You know me better than that. He didn’t love you like I do.”

  She edged back a foot, and pain rippled across her face. “Please don’t say that.”

  He shot toward her, caressed the back of her neck. He’d say it a million times if it got through to her. “We’re meant to be together.”

  She swayed on her feet. “We’re too new to know for sure. What we’ve had has been great, but let’s end this before we get hurt. This is what we’ve always wanted; our careers are taking off. You need to give it your all, not worry about me. In Boston, you and the guys will have girls falling over you. You will want to party hard. There will be temptation all around. I don’t want you to miss out on having fun.”