by Tania Joyce
“Holy shit.” Lexi gaped out the SUV’s window as their driver stopped by the curb opposite Hayden’s house. People overflowed onto the snow-ridden street. Doof-doof heavy-based music blared from the house. Lights flashed through the windows. “I thought this party was going to be the band and their partners, not a gazillion people.”
“Same.” Gemma stepped out of the car after Kara. Chester and Giles, their bodyguards, zipped up their puffer jackets and tugged on their beanies as they scoped the place out. Concern darkened their eyes.
“Stay together,” Chester warned Gemma. “I don’t like this.”
“Absolutely,” she said, linking her arm with Lexi’s.
Hunter, Kyle and their security, Sam and Mick, came over from their car.
Kyle stuffed his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and winced. “I can smell pot from here. Reminds me of our old parties.”
A chill as cold as the night air coursed through Lexi’s blood. What was Hayden doing?
As they walked up to the house, eyes widened on the faces of party-goers who recognized Lexi’s famous friends. Inside was like a college party on crack. The stench of alcohol and drugs wafted through a smoky haze. The table was covered in bottles of liquor. Broken dining chairs lay on the floor in the corner. Takeaway pizza boxes littered the kitchen counter. People clustered in groups, laughed and shrieked, and downed their drinks.
Lexi dragged off her beanie and stuffed it into her coat pocket with her gloves. She glanced around the place; it looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in weeks. Hayden wouldn’t handle that. “This isn’t what I expected. This isn’t Hayden.”
Gemma clutched Lexi’s hand. It shook in hers. “I’m all for parties. But this is insane.”
“I got you, Gem.” She gripped Gemma’s hand tighter. After Gemma’s drugging and kidnapping, Lexi understood this would be freaking her out. “Let’s just find Hayden, say hello and get out of here.”
“It smells like skunks threw up in here.” Kara screwed up her nose. This definitely wasn’t her usual Upper East Side party scene.
“Come on.” Kyle led them toward the living room at the back of the house, weaving through the crowded hallway and stepping over the odd person sitting on the floor.
Hayden was lying facedown on a sofa and didn’t move. Lexi’s heart stopped. She rushed to his side and shook him. “Hayden, it’s me. I’m here.”
He wouldn’t stir.
She shook him harder. “Hayden.”
Still nothing.
The air prickled and she spun around. Gemma’s face had turned ghostly white. Her eyes were locked on the pills, pot, pipes and crystal meth lying on the coffee table. The shit that had twisted one of Gemma’s friends into a psychopathic stalker was everywhere.
“Lex . . . is he okay?” Gemma’s voice came out jagged. She clutched her chest as if she were hyperventilating.
Lexi turned back to Hayden. “Hayden.” She tugged his hair, tapped his cheek. But still, there was nothing. Panic hammered her heart. “I don’t know. I don’t know. He won’t wake up.”
“Shit.” Gemma flapped her hands in front of her face. “Lex . . . I don’t think I can do this. I can’t be here. I’m sorry.” The color drained from her face.
“Kyle, get her out of here.” Lexi spoke over her shoulder as she hovered over Hayden. Tears loomed in her eyes. “Please.”
“Abso-fucking-lutely.” Kyle caught Gemma around the waist, Kara did the same from the other side, and they led her from the room, toward the front of the house.
Hunter and Mick rushed over to the sofa. While Mick kneeled and checked Hayden’s pulse and vitals, fear held her breath hostage. She gripped onto Hunter’s arm for support, prayed Hayden would be okay. He had to be okay. Had to.
“He’s breathing fine. Pulse is good,” Mick said. “I can’t tell if he’s taken anything or just drunk. He stinks like he swallowed a bottle of whiskey.”
Oh. Thank. God.
Kilt sauntered into the room, held his arms wide. “Lexi, baby. You made it.” Then he flicked his upturned nose at Hunter. “What are you doing here, asshole?”
Lexi jumped between them. “What’s wrong with Hayden?” Her voice sliced through her clenched teeth.
Kilt tilted his head back and laughed. “Nothing’s wrong with him. We put a few valium in his whiskey to chill him out. He’ll be fine.”
Hunter grabbed Kilt by the front of his shirt and slammed him up against the wall. “You fucking did what?” Hunter’s eyes flared with flames of blue. “You drugged him? You asshole. He hates that shit. Why would you do that to him?”
“Because he’s lame.” Kilt chuckled with contempt as if a muscular, six-foot-two man wasn’t pinning him against the wall. “We wanted to smoke shit and he hates it. Mr. Fucking Goody-two-shoes. It’s my house. We wanted to have some fun.”
Trembling all over, Lexi fell to her knees beside Hayden. She stroked his hair. It was longer than when she’d last seen it, and shaggy. His face, scruffy. He usually was so well-groomed. “Hayden? Wake up?” she mumbled over her tears, but he didn’t move.
Other people gathered around. Giles and Sam were quick to snatch cell phones from onlookers’ hands. They didn’t need Hunter hitting TMZ headlines for roughing up Kilt, no matter how much Kilt deserved it.
“You’re a dick.” Hunter shoved Kilt against the wall again. Kilt’s head hit the plaster with a dull thud. “Go see his mom with him sometime and you’ll fucking understand why. You want the rehab bed beside her, assfuck?”
“Get your hands off me.” Kilt swiped Hunter’s hands away. “Hayden’s fine. He just needs to sleep it off.”
Hayden stirred. “Lex, is that you?”
“Oh, Hayds. I’m here.” She rubbed his back, kissed the top of his head. But he collapsed into nothing but dead weight against the cushion.
Lexi glanced up at Hunter. Fear gripped her heart. “We need to get him out of here. This place is disgusting. Can we take him back to our hotel?”
“Absolutely.” Hunter charged over, leaving Kilt to slump against the wall like a sack of rotten potatoes.
Lexi grabbed Hayden’s coat and cell phone as Mick and Hunter hauled Hayden to his feet. She followed close behind them and they headed down the hallway. Sam and Giles cleared a path through the crowd and shielded them as much as possible, but with every step, cell phones flashed and clicked in their direction. Hunter having a go at Kilt would certainly make headlines, but all Lexi cared about was Hayden. She had to make sure he was safe. She’d help deal with any publicity nightmare later.
At the hotel, Mick and Hunter dumped Hayden onto her bed. He was still in la-la land as Hunter and Kara helped her take off Hayden’s boots, jeans and hoodie, and tucked him into bed.
“I’ve called a doctor,” Kara said as she folded his clothes and placed them on the desk. “He’ll be here soon.”
“Thanks,” Lexi sat beside Hayden, stroking his hair. She glanced at Hunter sitting on the end of the bed. “Is Gem okay?”
“Yeah, Kyle’s with her.” Hunter thumbed toward the door. “She’s shaken after walking into a shitfest like that.”
So was Lexi, but not as bad as Gemma had been. “Thanks for your help. You can go if you like. I’ll wait for the doctor.” She gazed down at Hayden, taking in his gorgeous face, wishing he’d open his eyes.
But Hunter and Kara stayed with her. She loved that her friends were concerned about Hayden as much as she was. Not being here in Boston for him twisted her stomach. She missed being his wingwoman and looking out for him.
After Dr. Evans examined Hayden, gave him the all clear, and lectured them about partying too hard, everyone said goodnight and left.
Lexi closed and locked the door. She leaned against the cool surface; exhaustion deadened her bones. It was only ten-thirty. Wandering toward the center of the room, she glanced at Hayden, still sleeping—his hair a tousled mess, his ribs rising and falling as he breathed, his long eyelashes resting against his cheeks. Her h
eart fluttered and ached like a butterfly that wanted to take flight but couldn’t. She missed him in her bed.
No . . . don’t go there.
She tossed the thought aside. The pang in her chest morphed into disappointment. She’d longed to see him this weekend. Spend time with him and have fun. Reset their friendship. Why did nothing ever go to plan?
She changed into her pajamas and curled in beside him. Watched him. She wanted everything to be right again. Maybe tomorrow, they could start afresh. She drew the quilt up to her chin, snuggled a spare pillow to her chest. Her eyelids grew heavy. Sleep slowly lured her under.
Hayden hovered over her. His gorgeous steel-gray eyes darkened like he wanted to eat her for breakfast. She threaded her hands into his hair, drew his lips against hers, flicked her tongue into his mouth to taste him. Devour him. Savor him. She raked her fingers over every muscle on his sculpted back, his shoulders, his arms. His fingertips were cool against her burning flesh as he explored every inch of her naked body. Over her legs, her hips, her tummy, and headed between her legs. Yes. Touch me. Yes. Yes. Yes!
“Angel?” Hayden’s soft voice pulled her from her slumber. “You okay?
Oh, shit! Her eyes popped open and stared straight into his steel-gray orbs. Her heart thudded against her ribs. The place between her legs throbbed. Just a dream.
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she cast her fluster aside. Having Hayden in her bed wasn’t the smartest move. Curled toward him, she tucked her hands underneath her cheek. “I’m fine. How are you?”
“Perfect.” A delicious grin slid across his lips. His eyes twinkled in the dim light glowing from the small desk lamp she’d left on. “I’m with you.”
It happened so fast that she barely had time to draw breath. He snaked his arm over her hip, edged his knee between hers and rolled on top of her. Then he kissed her.
Crap. Her eyes widened. Planting her hands on his shoulders, she shoved him backward. “Whoa there. What are you doing?” Did he think this was a make-out session? Hell no.
“Um . . . kissing you.”
There was too much sexiness in his voice. But she wasn’t going to fall for it. “No. You’re not. You stink.” Morning breath and stale whiskey weren’t a good combination. She shoved him off and shimmied sideways. Sitting upright, she crushed a pillow to her chest. “Do you remember anything from last night?”
He dragged himself up and leaned back against the headboard. Confusion furrowed his brow. “Not exactly. But I’m here with you”—he half smiled—“so it must’ve turned out all right.”
He leaned forward to kiss her again, but she held up her hand to block him. “No. Stop. Last night was shit. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but we did not get back together.”
“You mean we didn’t . . . ” He stared at the messed-up bed. Happiness drained from his face like water from a bathtub, sucking her heart along with it. “Nothing’s changed? You still don’t . . . fuck!”
“You’re here because our friends and I saved your life.” Exasperation snapped in her voice.
“What?” Scraping his fingers through his way-too-sexy bed hair, he grimaced like she was delusional.
“We got to your house and found you passed out on the sofa thanks to Kilt slipping valium into your whiskey.” Anger swelled in her blood like a rising tide at Kilt’s juvenile behavior. She clenched her hands. Oh, how she’d love to fucking punch the shit out of Kilt. “Then things turned ugly.” She counted on her fingers, spoke at one hundred miles per hour. “Hunter wanted to kill Kilt. Gemma freaked out at the sight of the buffet of drugs littering your coffee table. People went camera happy at the sight of our friends and the commotion we caused. We couldn’t rouse you, so we brought you here to our hotel. We called the doctor. He checked you out. Then—”
“Whoa.” His eyelids slid shut and he held up his hand. “Slow down. My head’s hurting.”
“So it fucking should.” She jabbed her finger into his bicep. “You wanna tell me what the hell is going on in that house?”
“Nothing’s going on.” He shrugged a shoulder, but the crack in his voice suggested otherwise. “We had a party. That’s it.”
“With cocaine and ice? What the hell?” She’d been to enough parties to witness drugs. Hell, she’d even tried a few when she’d first left home, but she’d never touched them after his tales of his mom and going with him to see her. Never expected to see them in his home.
He stared off into the distance. “I told them not to do it in the house, Lex. I swear.”
She wanted to wrap her arms around him, hold him close, make everything right, but instead she placed her hand on his thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. “They’re supposed to be your friends. Respect you. But they’re fucking dickheads.”
He puffed through his nose. “I’m sure it was a joke. It’ll be fine.”
“Fine?” Her blood simmered like a kettle about to boil. “Are you kidding me? You’re going to defend them? Kilt drugged you.”
Hayden lowered his head like it was too heavy to hold up. “They’re good guys. Things just got out of hand.”
She clutched his hand. “Do you know how scared I was when I saw you on the sofa? It was like finding my mom in one of her down moods. It was like seeing your mother drugged off her head. It was like watching my best girlfriend lie in hospital, fighting for her life after being kidnapped. I don’t want to add you to that list.”
Losing him would be unbearable.
“You won’t have to.” He gritted his jaw, looked up at her with hard eyes. “You don’t have to worry about me anymore, Lex.” He swung his legs off the bed and reached for his clothes. “I’m not yours to worry about. Remember?”
Ouch. “Don’t say that. I care about you. Always will.”
“Well, maybe you should stop.” He stood and zipped up his jeans, tugged on his sweatshirt.
“What? No. Don’t say things like that.” She crawled across the bed and grabbed his hand. “Where are you going?”
“Home.” He yanked free of her hold, pulled on his boots and laced them up. “I don’t need rescuing, Lex.”
“You did last night.” Why was he being cold toward her? She’d done nothing wrong.
“Clearly, I’m all right.”
“Clearly, you’re not.” She sat back on her haunches. “Every time you’ve called, you’ve been drinking. Have you been partying every night? That’s not you. You’re going to fuck up your opportunities here if you keep doing that.” She winced at how motherly she sounded. Shit, she’d turned into Kara.
He straightened and his eyes locked onto hers. They swirled with so many emotions she found it impossible to work out what was going through his mind. Then, they turned frosty. A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I’m living life. I’ve got my band. My music. Having fun. What did you expect?”
She was all for having a good time but not to the extent where it altered your personality. “Why are you acting like this? I’m here, we’re all here to spend the weekend with you. You can’t leave.”
He grabbed and shrugged on his coat. “I have a show tonight. I need to go.”
Her shoulders slumped. Her heart sank. “Fine. But don’t shut me out.”
He took a step toward the door and froze. “Maybe that’s exactly what I have to do.”
His voice splintered her ribs, speared her heart. “Hayden. No. What’s going on?”
A shallow chuckle burst from deep within his chest. “You don’t get it, do you? You rush to my side, bring me back here, do everything to make sure I’m okay, but you still can’t admit you love me.”
Love him? No. “I was worried about you. Any decent friend would do the same.”
He lifted his chin, glared at her with bloodshot eyes. He fisted his hands by his side; every muscle on his face tensed. It was as if every breath would break his ribs. “I have to go. I’ll catch up with Hunter, Kyle and the girls later.” The veins in his neck bulged and throbbed. “But Lex, I’m sorry. You should’ve n
ever brought me here. Waking up next to you, I thought my prayers had been answered. Thought we were back together. But I was a fool. Nothing but a fool. The truth is, I’m not over you. I thought I was, but it’s still too raw. Seeing you hurts too fucking much. I need more time.”
He turned and headed for the door.
“Hayden, stop,” she cried after him. Her hands clutched her chest. “How long are you going to avoid me? We’re best friends. You’re killing me.”
“Then don’t bother coming to the show, Lex. Go home. I’ll be fine without you.”
He charged out the door and didn’t look back.
Lexi flopped back on the bed and sobbed into the pillow. This was ridiculous. She wanted to grab the cushion and hit Hayden over the head with it until she knocked sense into him. Run after him and tell him everything was going to be okay. She wanted to hold him in her arms until he forgave her for not loving him back.
Her heart bled into the sheets. She’d let him go so he could follow his dreams. She didn’t want him to screw them up by getting wasted all the time. She hadn’t thought he was like that. She’d thought he was better than that. Living with Kilt, Reg and Lewis wasn’t healthy for him. She cared for him too much to see him self-destruct. But if time away from her was what he needed, so be it.
She clutched the pillow to her chest. Tears slipped down her face. She’d do anything for Hayden. Even if it meant backing off.
She didn’t want to stop seeing him, being a part of his life. Searching her foggy brain for other solutions to ease Hayden’s hurt, she came up blank. Nothing popped into her mind.
Nothing.
Time apart was the only option.
She closed her eyes. Fear rattled her heart.
Love died, not friendship. She had to keep telling herself that. She had to believe that.
Or had she already lost him? Was it too late?
Chapter 22
