Hush (Black Lotus #3)

by E. K. Blair

  “What’s so funny?” he mumbles against my mouth.

  I pull back and look up at him. “I’m just happy.”

  Declan walks back to the Mercedes and pops open the hatchback to the SUV to grab our luggage, and as he does, I turn to look at the large, tiered fountain.

  “Declan, look!” Amazed by the blooms, I walk over to the massive fountain and inhale the earthy scent.

  “They’ve always bloomed in there,” he tells me as I look in wonderment at all the lotus flowers.

  White mixed with every hue of pink, each one flawless despite the murky water they rose from. They glow as they bask in the sunshine.

  “They’re so beautiful.”

  “Come here,” he says. “I want to show you a part of the house you’ve never seen.”

  We walk inside the double doors, and he drops our luggage in the foyer, taking my hand and leading me up the stairs all the way to the third floor and into his office.

  “What are you doing?” I question as he runs his hand along the wall.

  When he stops moving, he casts his eyes to me and, with a smile, gives the wall a push.

  “Are you kidding me?” I laugh in surprise when it’s revealed that a portion of the wall is a hidden spring-loaded partition that opens up to a secret spiral staircase.

  “Come on.”

  I follow him up the narrow stairs, and when we reach the top, there’s another door that he opens. My eyes widen in amazement when I step out onto the rooftop, exposing a panoramic view of all of Galashiels. Declan reaches out for me, knowing my fear of heights, and walks me to the wall’s edge.

  “You see that river?” he asks as he points out.

  “Yes.”

  “That’s the River Tweed. It divides Galashiels from Abbottsford. And you see that castle-like estate down there?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s Sir Walter Scott’s home.”

  “The poet?”

  “Yes.”

  “That’s no home,” I note as I look at the majestic estate that’s nestled down below from where Declan’s estate sits perched high on this hill. “That’s a palace!”

  He chuckles. “It’s a museum now. There’s also a quaint restaurant that’s known for their shortcakes in there.”

  We walk the border of the rooftop, and I look down to the grounds below, admiring all the colorful blooms that are coming to life as the weather warms. The past couple months of spring have done wonders, exposing more pebbled creeks that stream down various hills. There are too many flowers to count, along with a few stone benches—some that rest under trees and some that are out in the open. From up here, I can see the grassy paths that lead from one garden nook to the next, to the next, and to the next. A part of me feels like I’m cheating myself of the wanderlust of exploring and getting lost in the maze down there.

  My very own Wonderland.

  “It’s stunning, isn’t it?”

  “It’s breathtaking,” I say and then turn to face him, pressing my body against his with my arms wrapped around his waist. “I never thought anything like this could exist in this world.”

  “I feel the same when I look at you.”

  We stand here, on the rooftop of our own personal castle, and wrap ourselves around each other. Declan cradles my head to his chest as he plants kisses down on me. We hug; it’s all we need to do in this moment of much-needed peace, and finally, I can breathe. The weight of the world’s afflictions are becoming less and less suffocating as I continue to move along this path Declan is providing me. Of course a part of me still aches for my dad and for my brother, but that’s a sadness I’ll have to brave for the rest of my life. There’s simply no cure for heartbreaks that surpass unfathomable agony. Some wounds run so deep that there’s no possibility of healing. But here, with Declan, I’m hoping one day the pain will become more tolerable.

  “I was thinking about something on the plane ride here,” Declan says, breaking the silence between us. “We should go to The Water Lily.”

  I smile when I think about Isla. Staying with her when I was at my ultimate lowest, thinking Declan had died at the hands of Pike, was probably the best place I could’ve wound up. We had so many great conversations, and I realize now that I know so much about his grandmother when he’s never really spoken to her.

  “Isla has a beautiful heart,” I tell him. “I miss her.”

  “Why do you think she never said anything to me? She has a photo of me in her room and she knows who I am.”

  I see the little boy lost deep within his eyes as I look him. “Maybe she was scared. Maybe she didn’t know what to say.”

  “Maybe,” he responds. “How about we pay her a visit tomorrow? Let’s take the rest of the day for us.” He leans down and kisses me before saying, “Take a walk with me.”

  We head back down the hidden staircase and then down to main floor of the house. Walking through the atrium, we make our way outside.

  “Everything looks so different than it did when we left a couple months ago,” I say as we stroll aimlessly through the flowers.

  We make our way up a stone pathway that runs alongside the clinker grotto and then wander along another grassy path, weaving through trees and stepping over a narrow babbling brook. I look down at the house, and laugh to myself when I see the huge gaps that still remain in the now-flowering bushes that rim around the exterior wall.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I still can’t believe you ripped out all the purple bushes,” I tell him, and when he looks down to the house to see the gaps, he shrugs. “My darling hates purple,” he says nonchalantly and continues to walk.

  “Sit with me,” he says when we find ourselves surrounded by bright yellow daffodils.

  I settle myself between Declan’s legs and back against his chest as he sits behind me. We both look out among the flowers as I sink into his hold.

  “Tell me you’re happy,” he says, and I answer honestly, “I’m happy.”

  “You know, the first time I ever saw you, I knew I had to have you.” I rest my head against him as I listen to him speak. “I’d never felt that intensely about anyone before. I can still remember how beautiful you looked that night in your navy silk dress and long red hair. I was beyond fascinated by you.”

  “And I remember you, not even wearing a bow tie to your own black tie affair,” I tease.

  “I know our start was fucked up, but I wouldn’t change it. Because without it, we wouldn’t have this.”

  “I’ll never forgive myself though.”

  “I need you to know something.” The seriousness in his tone makes me sit up and turn to face him. “I need you to know that I’ve forgiven you, and that hate I used to feel towards you . . . it’s no longer there.”

  His words soothe, and when he begins to kaleidoscope, I blink him into clarity. But these tears don’t hurt—they heal. He places his hands on my cheeks and kisses me again.

  “You give yourself to me in a way no other woman could. And even if they could, I wouldn’t want them to. I’m not perfect—you’ve even called me out on my flaws a few times, but you’ve never thrown them in my face with ridicule,” he says with gratitude. “And when I tell you that I need you, I mean it. I can’t battle this world without you by my side. You’re the bravest woman I know.”

  “I’m not.”

  “You are. My God, the life you’ve been dealt, everything you’ve had to endure, and here you are, still fighting. Still trying.”

  “Because of you,” I tell him. “Every breath is a choice, and I choose to keep taking them for you.”

  “I’m going to give you a long life filled with breaths then,” he affirms before he takes my face in his hands and looks steadfastly into my eyes. “I once told you that the truest part of a person is the ugliest.”

  “I remember that night.”

  “The ugliest parts of you are your darkest. And trust me when I tell you that I want to love all of your darkest parts.” He reaches into his
pocket, and my heart beats a beat I’ve never felt before as he pulls out a ring. “And I promise you that I will love all of your darkness if you promise to love mine too.”

  “Declan . . .”

  “Marry me.”

  And that was the moment all my dreams came true. We sat there in the garden of daffodils as he held that ring, which embodied exactly what we were between his fingers—two people who harbored so much darkness. The cushion-cut diamond was brilliant and so very black with intricate facets, encircled with tiny, sparkling white diamonds that also adorned the delicately thin platinum band.

  But it wasn’t the ring, it was him. It was always him. The only one who was strong enough to love me for me. He took all my rot and all my scars and somehow made me feel like a true princess.

  My whole life, I was waiting for someone to save me, and he did. I knew in that moment that I would never be unloved, I would never be abandoned, and I would never be left to fight the monsters alone.

  “Yes!”

  My eyes never leave his beautiful face as he slips the ring on to my finger, and once in place, I throw myself into his arms, knocking him back to the ground. And we kiss like no two people have ever kissed. I pour my soul into his mouth as his hands grip me tightly—we’re so needy for closeness.

  But that closeness is severed the moment I hear the snick.

  I jump back and turn in an instant to find myself staring down the barrel of a pistol.

  “You move, I shoot her,” the man snarls to Declan. But I know Declan isn’t armed right now.

  We’re helpless.

  I’m frozen in place. I can’t even feel my heart beating anymore.

  “This is vengeance. Your father fucked with the wrong family the moment he handed my brother’s name over to the feds sixteen years ago. But because I’m sadistic, I’m going to give you the choice. Either you die or your father dies. You have five seconds.”

  I turn to Declan, already knowing my choice as I mouth I love you through razor-sharp tears.

  “Elizabeth, no!”

  “Don’t hurt my dad. Kill me.”

  “Eliz—”

  BANG.

  I LOOK UP into the brilliant, rich blue sky. There isn’t a cloud in sight as the sun shines down in rays of glittering warmth. I look around to find I’m surrounded by gigantic, lime-green canopies, but when I take a closer look, I realize they aren’t canopies, but instead, blades of grass.

  Carnegie?

  My eyes dart down to reveal my bright pink accordion body.

  I’m back.

  “Hello?” I call out, wondering why I’m all alone, and when I hear a rustling in the distance, I call out again, “Carnegie? Is that you?”

  “Elizabeth!” he hollers back, but his accent isn’t right. “Elizabeth!”

  No. It can’t be.

  “Declan?” I scoot around to see a blue caterpillar emerge from behind a blade of grass.

  “Elizabeth,” he exclaims in his unmistakable Scottish brogue as he inches over to me.

  “What are you doing in my dream?”

  “Dream?” His beady eyes drop in dread.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Darling . . .”

  “What’s going on?” I question in fear.

  “You died.”

  Horror fires off inside me as I look at him. “Then . . . Then what are you doing here?”

  “Don’t panic.”

  “Oh, my God!”

  “We’re together, Elizabeth. That’s all that matters.”

  “If I’m dead, then . . .”

  “I am too,” he tells me. “He shot me right after he shot you.”

  “NO!” I cry out, and he’s right here next to me, comforting, “It’s okay, darling. We’re still together. Nothing can hurt us now.”

  “But you’re . . . you’re dead because of me!”

  “No, baby. You made the right choice. That guy was there for revenge, and no matter what you said, he would’ve killed us anyway,” he tells me. “But look around you. This place is incredible.”

  I stare at him in utter shock and ask, “How are you so calm?”

  “We’ve both been here for a while, a few days or so, but you’ve been sleeping. I’ve had time to digest it all, but this place doesn’t allow stress to last very long.” He slinks his way closer, running his body along mine, and the moment I feel his touch, my heart settles peacefully.

  “We’re okay?”

  He nods and then tells me, “We’re not alone either.”

  “You mean Carnegie? Did you meet him?”

  “I did, but there’s someone else you’re going to want to see.”

  “Who?”

  “Your brother.”

  “Pike?” I perk up in astonishment. “He’s here?”

  “He’s out with Carnegie right now gathering berries.”

  “You talked to him?”

  “Yes, but don’t worry. We’ve had a lot of time to reach an understanding with one another.”

  “He’s not a bad guy,” I immediately defend, and he stops me.

  “I know that now. Come on. Let’s go find them.”

  We maze around enormous flower stems and even more gigantic tree trunks as we scoot together, side by side. Every now and then Declan looks over to me and smiles, which makes me giggle. He’s right, the stress doesn’t last long. As I frolic along, I feel weightless, I feel exuberant, I feel . . . free.

  “This way,” Declan tells me before we turn and weave our way through the wooden vines of a berry bush. “It’s a shortcut.”

  I look up at the pink berries that are as big as basketballs, and when we come to an opening and make our way out, I see Carnegie. And next to him is a bright red caterpillar.

  “Pike?”

  “You’re awake!”

  “Pike!”

  I slink as quickly as I can to him, and he does the same.

  “I never thought I’d see you again,” I tell him.

  “You can’t get rid of me,” he jokes as he nudges his stumpy head into the side of my tubular body. “You know, when you promised you’d do anything to get us a better life, I didn’t think we’d have to be fucking caterpillars to get it.”

  We both laugh and Declan joins in as he sidles up next to me.

  “Language, young man,” Carnegie nags in his dapper British accent.

  I worm my way closer to my lifelong friend. “Carnegie . . .”

  “It’s been far too long, my dear.”

  “What is all this?”

  “Why, this is your afterlife. Nothing will ever hurt you again, because pain no longer exists. This is where dreams are reality.”

  “I told you it would all be okay, darling,” Declan reaffirms.

  I release a pleased sigh and lean my head against Declan.

  Carnegie looks to us, asking, “So, this is love?”

  Gazing into Declan’s eyes, I respond, “This is love.”

  Declan and I continue to nuzzle each other tenderly while Carnegie and Pike are off by the pond’s edge. Movement catches my eye, and when I turn to a tall bush next to me, an orange caterpillar appears. It stops and looks at me curiously, and then the beady eyes widen.

  “Princess?”

  My body sparks in bewilderment. “Dad?”

  He rushes over to me, his tiny mouth fighting for the biggest smile.

  “What are you doing h—”

  Oh, my God. He’s dead.

  And suddenly, I see his smile drop when realization hits him that I’m dead too.

  He stops moving, and when his eyes slip away from mine, he looks to Declan. “What happened to you two?”

  I hold my breath, not wanting my father to feel any guilt that I chose to pay the pay the price for his past—that Declan did too. “You tell me first.”

  He scoots a little closer before saying, “The brother of one of the guys I handed over to the feds ran me off the road right after I left the beach the last day we were together. He gave me a choice. He told
me I could live and that he would kill you instead or he could just kill me.” My mouth gapes in shock. “Obviously, I gave up my own life.”

  “There was never a choice,” Declan tells him.

  “What do you mean?”

  “That same man paid me and your daughter a visit with the same ultimatum.”

  My dad’s eyes dart back to me, and I tell him, “I told him not to hurt you and to kill me instead.”

  “You sacrificed your life for me?”

  I nod.

  “Sweetheart . . .”

  “It’s okay, Dad,” I assure him. “Can I ask you something though?”

  “Anything.”

  “What was your biggest wish when you were living?”

  The corners of his mouth lift. “You,” he says. “I always wished to have you in my life.”

  My heart floats like a feather. “And my wish was always you, Dad.” My eyes mist over in pure delight. “Our wishes came true.” I turn to face Declan and tell him in amazement, “This is my every wish come true.”

  The three of us look at one another as the truth crystallizes. We are a web of wishes come true. We no longer have to creep in the shadows of those who wish us harm. We are finally free from all that has ever haunted us. I know Declan and I would have never been able to find this kind of freedom among the living. It only exists here.

  I look around at the magnificently colored flowers that wisp in the breeze above us, I see Pike riding on the back of a dragonfly—happy and whimsical, and then there’s Carnegie, who never has to be alone again because he has us now. I laugh as he watches in merriment at my brother flying around. And my dad, overflowing with boundless mirth as he kisses the top of my head.

  “This is all I ever wanted,” he tells me.

  I then turn to face Declan—amazed that our love was so powerful that not even death could part us. And then we kiss a kiss that’s never existed until now. It’s serene and vivacious and loving and entirely magical.

  This is everything dreams are made of.

  This is my fairytale.

  Thank you for reading Hush book #3 in the Black Lotus series. If you enjoyed this book, please consider leaving a spoiler-free review on Amazon.com.