Kill All Enemies

by Melvin Burgess

  ‘I can’t believe …’ she began. ‘Are these tests right? Because if they are … I can’t believe everyone’s missed this.’ She stopped and glanced suddenly at me. I knew what she was thinking.

  Yes, love. And if you’d spent more time using your skills to observe your child instead of being so busy at work, you might have spotted it for yourself. And as a result he’s one year away from his exams and he’s lost the will to even try …

  But I didn’t say that of course. ‘Mrs Trent,’ I said. ‘Chris is about the cleverest and certainly the most determined young man I think I’ve ever come across. He’s been pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes for years. It’s not like there’s a single problem. Any one of them – high intelligence, poor school, a little dyslexia – it wouldn’t have mattered. Two of them – probably OK. Three of them – well … And let’s not forget how determined Chris is. And how highly motivated. Very competitive too. He doesn’t like doing things poorly, does he?’ I shrugged. ‘There you go.’

  ‘I can’t believe it.’ She stared at the papers. ‘The little bastard. The sneaky little bastard. All this time.’

  I laughed. ‘Be honest, though, Mrs Trent. You’ve got to admire him. And I’ll tell you what. Chris is the one child who’s going to make his way in the world whether he passes any exams or not.’

  She tried to laugh, a bit shaky still. He smiled. They’d taken it. Fair play to them. That could not have been easy.

  We spent a few minutes chatting about the Brant and the work we do and so on. I felt for her. If it had been her giving him those tests, she’d have done it properly. But it never occurred to her to question the school. Why would she?

  By the time they left, they’d cheered up. Dad was positively skipping. ‘At least we know what we’re dealing with now,’ he said.

  Mum looked sideways at him.

  ‘What?’ he said.

  ‘We’ve left it too late.’

  ‘It’s never too late,’ said Dad.

  Then they left, clutching the papers. My feeling was she was right. It was too late, for GCSEs anyway. Well, good luck to them. I went back to my desk, picked up my phone and checked for messages. Still nothing from Billie. It’s been over a week now. Every day I get more convinced something awful’s happened. A message from Barbara. One word. ‘Nothing.’ Nothing nothing nothing. Come on, Billie – ring! Talk to me. Just talk. For God’s sake – at least let me know you’re still alive!

  I tapped out another text. At least when she picks them up she’ll know how hard I’ve been trying. I’ve been doing about one an hour for the past week.

  Billie, I love you. Get in touch. Hxxxx

  Billie

  I don’t know what time it was when I woke up. Middle of the night. Freezing cold, pitch black. I got up and tried to move about. I was still staggering, but whatever they spiked me with was wearing off.

  I started walking.

  I had no idea what the time was but it got lighter as I walked. It took hours. All the time I was thinking, You bastards, you bastards. I’d never even have found out what they were going to do if I hadn’t spilled that drink. And what he’d said about Cookie? ‘He doesn’t mind sharing his things with his mates.’ All the times they’d come round and I’d got so drunk I didn’t know what was going on. How many times?

  I don’t know if it’s true. Jez is such a nasty bastard, he’d just say that. Cookie’s scared of him. He wouldn’t though. He never would. Would he?

  I didn’t even know if I’d already been raped.

  I walked and I walked. I walked it off, the drug, whatever it was. At last the park came up. I saw one of the neighbours walking her dog. She called out, but I didn’t answer. I just wanted to go home but it was still too early. I’d left my key at Cookie’s. Barbara always locks the house up like a safe at night, so I sat down on a bench for a bit and I think I must have dozed.

  Then I went home.

  There was no one in.

  I could have cried. If they’d been in, it’d be over. The LOK, Secure, back in the cells. But at least it’d be over. I wanted to sit down in a chair and wait for it, but as soon as I realized the house was empty I knew what I was going to do. I was going to steal as much money as I could get my hands on and go out on the run again. I had another few days of freedom. Nowhere to go, no one to see, nothing to do. But I was going to do it anyway.

  I ran round the house and got in at the back. My phone was lying there on the table. Barbara had put some credit on it, wonders will never cease. I turned it on. Grabbed some clothes, stuffed them in a bag. I dug about in the drawers and found some money – not a lot, just a few quid. I thought I’d better raid the kitchen. There’s sometimes a few quid hanging around in there and I needed food. I went in and looked in the cupboards and suddenly I found myself looking at the knives.

  Cook’s knives, I thought.

  It stopped me in my tracks. And I felt sick that I’d thought of it because I knew I was going to have to do it. I was going down. God knows what else was coming my way, because, let’s face it, I was losing it, wasn’t I? Anyone could see I was not doing well. And him, Jez – he was going to get away with it. With rape. Gang rape, him and his mates. They didn’t have to worry about a thing.

  And what about Cookie? Didn’t you mind, Cookie? Didn’t you care? Was this your way of helping out your mate who doesn’t get any shags?

  I don’t know if he was lying about Cookie or not. I reckon he was lying. Either way, I was never going round there again. But Jez, he needed to suffer for what he’d tried to do to me.

  Barbara keeps her knives in this knife block, about five or six of them together. I took out the biggest, this dirty big thing, blade like a sword, but then I remembered what someone said to me years ago when I was small. You use a thin blade to stab someone. Something long and thin that you can stick in and pull out fast. You don’t want it getting stuck. In and out. And on the way out, you twist.

  I put the big one down and took out a smaller one. Shorter, nice thin blade. Easier to conceal. Barbara has this little device in the drawer she uses to sharpen her knives with. I dug in the drawer and found it. It was like two little crossed arms. I ran the blade through it a few times and tested it on my thumb.

  It’d do.

  That’s what got him off, did it, doing it to an unconscious girl and watching his mates take turns after him? And she never knows a thing about it? See how sexy he feels with this jammed in his insides.

  I thought, I’m going to do this. I’ve got nothing to lose; I’ve already lost everything. I can at least make sure he never does it to anyone else.

  I slid the knife into my bag and opened up the fridge. There was a note there, right in my face, saying – ‘There’s a note for you on the kitchen table.’

  I looked behind me. It had been there all the time, but I’d never noticed it. First thing – there’s a twenty-pound note folded inside the paper. What’s that? Barbara never gives me money when I’m not behaving myself. I picked it up and I was about to read it through. I was just thinking that Hannah must have told her to leave me some cash, when I heard their voices outside. All of them. Barbara and Hannah and Dan, all of them together.

  Jesus. They’d teamed up. That’s all I needed.

  I stuffed the note and money in my pocket and I legged it out the back door and up the garden. Glanced back – no one there yet. I scrambled over the fence – it was all overgrown; I got scratched to bits – ran through the garden at the other end and out on to the road.

  As soon as I got clear, I ducked into the park to hide and have a read of that note – and you know what? I’d only gone and lost it. It must have fallen out of my back pocket when I was getting out. I couldn’t believe it. And the money – twenty quid, gone! I went back to have a look for it, retraced my steps. And I found it too. Well, I saw it, anyhow – in the garden, about halfway down. It must have fallen out while I was run
ning.

  I was more upset about the note than the money. I suppose a bit of me must have wanted to know what they were going to say, even though I could guess it. I hid in the bushes at the back for about fifteen minutes until bloody Barbara came out and found it. She ran back into the house, going ‘Hannah!’ at the top of her voice.

  So that was that gone, money and note, the lot. I went back down the park. I heard them shouting for me. No way. I had business to do.

  I thought, It’s still early. Jez’d still be in bed.

  He worked evenings too, serving in a bar. I know where – Cookie and me’d been in there a few times. He’d said he was on at six. I remembered that much.

  I’d take him out on his way to work. I didn’t care if he died. He deserved to die. I’d get put away. Life. What’s life? Twenty, maybe twenty-five years? Or maybe they’d drop some off because Jez is such a bastard. Then I’d only get twelve or even ten. Or maybe I wouldn’t kill him. Maybe I’d just stick him and he’d lose a lot of blood and it’d be touch and go, but he’d live, and I’d get done for GBH instead. Or even, if I was lucky, no one would see me and I could do a runner and he’d die in a pool of blood and no one would even know who’d done it. That was the dream ticket. I wasn’t counting on it, though, not with my luck. I was only going to get one chance at him, and I was going to make sure I took it. If I had to do it in the middle of the street with half of Leeds watching, I’d still do it.

  I worked it all out in my head. I knew where he lived. I’d get him on his way out of his flat. It was perfect. I could hide behind the bins – bam! In and out. The blade wasn’t that long, but it was enough. At least I wouldn’t have just taken it lying down, would I?

  For once in my life I’d have done something good.

  I patted my pocket for my phone. I thought I’d check my messages. Would you believe I’d left that behind as well? I could see it in my mind lying there on the kitchen table. They’d come back like that and I’d dashed out – stupid! Well, I wasn’t going back to get it, was I? Not now.

  Couple of hours to wait. Nothing to do. I found my old bench, tucked away where I wouldn’t be spotted, and I waited. All I wanted was to be left alone, let the time pass, so I could do what I had to do. Then they could take me away and watch my life disappear down the plughole, like it was always going to.

  Chris

  Sunday morning. Band rehearsal. That’s how I spend my weekends and evenings these days. We’re using someone’s garage at the mo. It’s not great, but it’s better than nothing.

  The boys launched into a mighty rendition of ‘Not My Daddy’ – one of Frankie’s better numbers. It was about your dad being an arsehole. I could relate to that. Things had been moving on. They had two in the band when they met me. Rob made three; now we had Jamie 2 on bass guitar. Four. Hang on, I hear you say – I thought the band didn’t have a bass guitar to their name? Well, they did now. What’s more it was a free bass guitar. The previous owner might have disagreed about the actual free-ness of it, but since my dad hadn’t played it for at least a year – well, we could worry about that one later, couldn’t we?

  There was still a long way to go, mind. We needed better rehearsal space, more instruments, sound equipment. We needed more work on the line-up. Frankie was pretty impressive up there, but a bit … I dunno, it needed something more. I already had a couple of leads for another singer.

  See? Manager. This is so much cooler than eBay. Talking to girls … ‘Yeah, the manager. Book the gigs, try and give them a direction. You know. Working on a recording contract for the boys right now …’

  The rehearsal went pretty well. I was actually discussing with the guys my plans for the line-up. I wanted them to consider a girl. Why not? There’s a girl singer in Arch Enemy, which is one of their favourite bands. Check it out – it’s a hot band. She’s fantastic. With the right singer it adds, you know, interest.

  Suddenly Rob jumped to his feet, phone in hand. ‘They found her!’ he shouted. ‘Billie! They found her!’

  ‘Where?’

  ‘The park. I just had a text from Hannah. We have to go and help.’

  It turns out that they hadn’t actually found her yet. One of her neighbours saw her in the park. Hannah and her carer and God knows who else went rushing round to grab her – so she nipped in the house while they’re out and they came back just in time to scare her off. She managed to pick up her phone, apparently, and then leave it on the kitchen table, so she still doesn’t know the charges have been dropped. No one can get in touch with her, and she’s off on the run again. It’s full alert.

  ‘We got to help,’ said Rob, the poor star-struck loon.

  ‘Maiden in distress,’ said Frankie. And he looked at me and winked, and half nodded towards Rob, who was rushing about getting his gear ready.

  Oh. Right. Frankie nodded and waggled his eyebrows. I get it. Rob to the rescue.

  ‘You want us to come and help, Juggernaut?’ asked Frankie, but Rob shook his head.

  ‘No, she knows me and Chris. She trusts us.’

  Trusts us? The bloke who pulled her kecks down? The other bloke who was going to get her locked up forever for stamping on his nads? (As far as she knew, anyway.) You must be joking. Still, I went along with it, partly to help Rob and partly because I have my own reasons for wanting to get in touch with Billie Trevors.

  Give you a clue. Death growl. Gettit?

  A girl singer. It has to be.

  PART 4

  Kill All Enemies

  Rob

  I wanted to be the one to find her. Why not? Everything had been going my way lately. Things can happen. Dreams can come true. I am living proof that you must never, ever give up hope.

  We went round the park a couple of times. Nothing. I asked everyone we saw, but no one had seen her. We bumped into Hannah doing the rounds as well with a man and woman, who turned out to be Billie’s carers. They hadn’t seen her either. It looked like she’d given us the slip. I thought we’d missed our chance – but then we did this shortcut Chris knew round behind some shrubs and …

  ‘Deathgrowl at three o’clock,’ said Chris. And there she was, lying on a bench, tucked away behind some bushes and stuff. You wouldn’t have noticed it being there at all, but Chris knew his way around.

  ‘Ring Hannah,’ I told him, and I ran off to get her. I heard Chris behind me calling me to wait – no way was I going to wait! I wanted to be first there. I wanted to be the one to tell her it was all right.

  ‘Billie!’ I yelled. She heard me coming and she sat up as I got close. I should have thought, but I had something to say to her, and nothing on this earth was going to stop me.

  She got off the bench as I came up to her, and I tried to speak, but I was so excited and I’d run so fast I was out of breath. I stood there like an idiot, puffing and panting and trying to speak and not getting it out. She looked at me like I was some kind of moron and started to walk away, and I thought, I’m not going to lose my chance now!

  I didn’t think. I didn’t know what she’d just been through. I grabbed out at her and pulled her round and I pulled her up to me and gave her a big Roly Poly love.

  Bang! She went off in my arms. Suddenly I was staggering backwards and she was screaming in my face.

  ‘No, Billie,’ I said. I dodged down backwards and twisted out of the way – And then – there was a knife in her hand. It just came from nowhere. I never even saw her get it out.

  ‘Billie, no!’ I said. My voice sounded like she was just nicking chips off my plate. Then Chris shouted, ‘Billie, no!’ really loud, and I realized then, she really was going to stab me. Her face had gone red, her teeth were bared like a dog’s and she was shaking like she was having some kind of breakdown. Her eyes had gone black. It wasn’t Billie any more.

  ‘We dropped the charges,’ shouted Chris. ‘Billie!’

  I don’t think she even heard him. I had to do something.
I opened my mouth and …

  ‘Billie,’ I said. ‘… Will you go out with me?’

  ‘What?’

  I think I was almost as surprised as she was. But there – I’d said it now. ‘Will you go out with me? I fancy you. Go on, Billie, please. What do you say?’

  It was a stupid thing to say, I expect. It was almost as stupid as diving in and making a grab for her. But it got through to her. She looked at me, then she looked at the knife in her hand as if she’d never seen it before. She took a step backwards.

  ‘What?’ she said again.

  ‘Billie,’ said Chris. ‘Drop the knife.’

  She looked at him. She looked so confused.

  ‘We’re your mates,’ he said. ‘You don’t need to fight us.’

  Billie stared at him, then at me. I nodded. And then, slowly, she let her arm drop down …

  There was a shout. It was Hannah running towards us. There was that couple following her, running as fast as they could, a string of them across the park.

  ‘Give me the knife, Billie,’ I said. ‘They don’t have to see that,’ I said. She handed it over and I put it in my pocket. Her face creased up. She started to cry.

  ‘Oh, Billie,’ I said. ‘Can I hug you now? Just a hug.’

  And she gave this little nod, this tiny little nod. I came up to her, slowly this time, and she put her arms round me, and I put my arms round her. I hugged her and she hugged me back. She started to shake a bit, and then there she was, crying on my shoulder like a little kid.

  Hannah

  I came running up. Barbara had been shouting, ‘Wait!’ all the way, but I was that far gone. All that jogging pays off sometimes. There they were, the terrible triplets. Chris standing to one side, and Billie and Rob, wrapped up together. She was in his arms, crying her heart out. I was going to push them all to one side and just run in and give her a hug. But there he was doing it for me.