Forever Changed

by Tiffany King

  She stood up with me, folding the light teal blanket she had been using, before draping it over the back of the sofa. “How is your detention going anyway?” she asked, switching off the lamp.

  “Ugh, don’t ask.”

  “Consequences for our actions can be a challenge at times,” she said, giving me her classic motherly look. “Next time, you’ll weigh the consequences before you cuss-out a teacher or pull a fire alarm.”

  “Well, I regret the fire alarm,” I said, taking the steps two at a time.

  “Kassandra!” she said, trying to sound stern behind me.

  “Mom, if you met Mr. Mathews', you’d totally get it. Besides, he was a total prick that day,” I said.

  “Kass! Language,” she reprimanded.

  “Sorry, a total brick,” I added sarcastically.

  “Just try to refrain yourself. It would be a shame for this to go on your permanent record after all your hard work.”

  I sighed, knowing she was right. I had been lucky to get off with detention and a slap on the hand. “I’ll try.”

  “That’s all I ask,” she said, heading down the hallway to her room.

  ***

  I arrived at school the next morning, struggling with the desire of hoping I would see Maddon at least once that day, while the sensible side of me knew I would only be playing with fire if I did. I knew if everyone caught wind us, they’d blow it completely out of proportion. Separating Maddon from my home and school life was crucial. Though it was probably for the best, I couldn’t help feeling disappointed when lunch rolled around and I still hadn’t seen him. I shuffled down the hall toward Mrs. Leighton’s office, trying to avoid the students who were celebrating the impending holiday break a few hours early. It had been one of those free-for-all kinds of days since the majority of the teachers had planned nothing in their curriculum for the last day before winter break. It was a waste to even make us come today.

  Mrs. Leighton was speaking with one of the aides when I entered the office.

  “Kassandra, come on back to my office,” she said, handing the aide the stack of papers in her hands. “Just add these to your stack,” she told the girl as we headed down the hall.

  “So, Kassandra, last detention today, right?” she asked, settling down behind her desk.

  “Yeah,” I replied, wishing it was my last day of counseling too. All this examination of my personal life hadn't sat well with me.

  “How has it been going?”

  “Okay, I guess. Kind of boring,” I lied.

  “Really?” she asked, raising her eyebrows like she knew more than she was letting on.

  “Yeah,” I answered defensively.

  “I see,” she said, letting it slide. “How are things going at home?”

  “Better,” I answered truthfully this time.

  “That’s great,” she said, sounding surprised.

  “I guess my prank and my cussing-out a teacher did some good after all,” I said, testing the boundaries.

  “Well, I wouldn’t say that,” she hem-hawed, reaching into her candy jar to extract several holiday-wrapped Hershey's Kisses. She divvied them up and handed me a small pile.

  “Thanks,” I said, unwrapping one of them and popping it into my mouth.

  “I am pleased things are better at home,” she said, unwrapping her own chocolate morsel. “I would have preferred a different method to get those results,” she added, smiling at me.

  “I’m sorry I pulled the fire alarm,” I said, using my finger to roll the small piece of foil that had covered my chocolate into a ball. “I guess it wasn’t very mature.”

  She sighed. “Cussing out Mr. Mathews' wasn’t the most mature action either,” she pointed out.

  “Maybe not, but it felt good,” I said, grinning.

  A smile so brief that I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me flitted across her face before it was replaced once again with her neutral look. “Maybe next time you can find a more reasonable way to express yourself,” she said, trying to sound stern.

  “Yes, ma’am,” I answered, unwrapping another chocolate.

  “What are your plans for the holidays?” she asked, changing the subject.

  I shrugged my shoulders, trying to act like the question didn’t bother me.

  “Has your mom considered maybe getting away for the holidays so they won’t be quite as painful?”

  “I’m not sure. We haven’t talked about it.” I didn’t mention the Christmas decorations that still sat in the attic or the baked goods that used to be a normal staple item for us during this time of year. I didn’t mention the lack of hidden Christmas presents or the missing voice of my father as he changed the lyrics of Christmas songs to better suit his purposes.

  “Maybe I can help,” she said, seeing through my ploy.

  “No one can help. The holidays used to be my father’s favorite time of the year. He made them special. It won’t be truly Christmas for us ever again,” I said with a quiver in my voice as I left her office.

  Mrs. Leighton’s words haunted me through the rest of the school day. She’d made me think of things I had been trying to avoid, and the pain from them weighed me down as I headed to detention later that afternoon.

  Signing in at the door, I claimed my usual seat and glanced around. I was actually relieved to see I was the only delinquent stupid enough to get put in detention the last day before break. Either all the other students were smart enough to stay out of trouble, or they decided to skip out and suffer the consequences when the holidays were over.

  I pulled out my phone and hit the Facebook app. Clicking on my missed messages, I saw several from Colton, asking if I wanted to hang out over break. I typed in a quick answer and moved on to my timeline. The majority of the posts on my timeline were from Lacey and her cronies discussing Lacey’s holiday party the next day. I tapped onto a post from Lacey that highlighted the appropriate gifts to bring the hostess of such an event. I rolled my eyes as I scrolled through the suggestions.

  Perfume

  Starbucks gift cards

  Chocolate (Godiva only)

  Jewelry

  Mall gift cards

  “Oh brother, what a diva,” I muttered to myself as I tapped on the fifty-plus comments that followed the post. The majority of them were inquiries regarding her favorite perfume or what the appropriate amount for the gift cards would be. Finally, at the bottom of the list was the posting I was hoping to see and I couldn’t help chuckling when I read it.

  I was going to get a gift card for Bitches R Us, but I couldn’t find a listing for it. I figured you probably have the number on speed dial, the unknown smiling face posted.

  I was still laughing at the comment when the post disappeared off my screen. “Well, Lacey finally decided to delete Mr. Smiles,” I said to myself, disappointed.

  “Oh, don’t worry, he’ll come back,” a familiar voice said, plopping down in the seat in front of me.

  My pulse sped up into hyper-drive. “You, right?” I asked, indicating the still open app on my phone.

  He grinned at me. “Can’t say,” he said, holding up his palms.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, not wanting to admit how happy I was to see him.

  “Figured I’d keep you company on your last day in detention hell,” he said, swinging a leg over the back of his seat so he could sit in the seat next to me.

  “What makes you think I wanted company?” I teased, trying to ignore how much his close proximity affected me.

  “Okay, let me rephrase that. I couldn’t wait to see you,” he said, using his finger to trace the back of my hand.

  I shivered at his touch and dropped my eyes so I could watch as his finger traced invisible drawings on my sensitive flesh.

  “Were all your classes as much of a joke today as mine were?” he asked, dragging my attention away from the slow seduction that was going on with my hand.

  “Pretty much,” I muttered, trying to sound normal.

  �
��I looked for you at lunch,” he said, flipping my hand over so he could show my wrist the same attention.

  I looked up, alarmed.

  “Don’t worry. I know we can’t eat with each other. I just wanted to see you,” he said, moving his finger up along the inside of my forearm.

  “I had plans anyway,” I said.

  “With Colton?” he asked, making a ploy to act like he didn’t care, but I could feel the tension rolling off of him.

  I was confused at first by his tone until I realized he was jealous. It was terribly flattering, and I considered having some fun with him, but looking up into his eyes, I could tell that wouldn't have been nice, so I stuck with honesty instead.

  “No, I was with Mrs. Leighton,” I admitted.

  “Really, why?”

  His relief was tangible.

  “Part of my punishment,” I said, trying to shrug it off like it didn’t matter.

  “That’s cool,” he said, linking his fingers through mine.

  “Not really, she’s kind of a pain in the ass,” I mumbled.

  “Why?” he asked, sitting up in his seat to study me intently.

  “She just pries too much,” I said, wishing I wouldn’t have started the conversation.

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “Why are you sorry? You didn’t lose it in class and pull a fire alarm.”

  “No, but I’m related to the man that set all of it into action,” he said, letting go of my hand so he could rake it through his hair.

  “That's not your fault,” I said, trying to erase my mom’s words from the night before.

  “So, is this you or what?” I asked, changing the subject as I held up my iPhone with the Facebook app still displayed.

  Accepting my subject change, his face lost the stressed-I’ve-screwed-up-your-whole-life look as he shot me a grin.

  “Can’t say,” he said, grinning at me more broadly.

  I laughed. “Why?” I asked after I was finally able to control my laughter.

  “Because of the way she treated you the first day you came back,” he said simply.

  “How do you know how she acted? Were you stalking me?” I teased.

  “Not stalking, watching,” he said.

  “Seriously?” I asked, not sure how I felt about being under some invisible microscope.

  “You interested me.”

  “Interested you? There’s been nothing remotely interesting about me for the last three months,” I said.

  “You don’t see yourself clearly, Kassandra. Everything about you interests me.”

  I stewed on his words. I was worried his illusions of who I truly was would eventually be destroyed, just like my father’s had been. I was flawed and destined to disappoint those I cared about the most. I was tempted to warn him off now before it was too late, but I wasn’t quite ready to ruin things.

  The rest of the hour passed quickly as we skirted away from the intense topics and instead joked about his countless comments on Lacey’s Facebook page.

  “How do you do it?” I asked as we headed for the parking lot.

  “I’m handy with the computer,” he bragged, slinging my bag over his shoulder.

  “Not me, I’m a complete tard when it comes techie stuff,” I said, unlocking my car with the keyless remote.

  “You just need some pointers. I can help you out with that,” he said, handing over my bag. “I’ll see you in fifteen minutes?” he asked, checking the military-style watch he wore.

  “Yep, I just need to drop my junk off at home,” I said, feeling more reluctant to leave than necessary, given the fact that I would be seeing him again in a few minutes.

  He seemed equally reluctant as he slowly closed my car door for me.

  In less than five minutes, I was at my house and heading up to my room. I detoured outside Megan’s door, feeling guilty for leaving her a second night. “Hey, Peanut,” I said, stepping into her room.

  Her eyes brightened and she dropped her book so she could give me a hug.

  “What are you reading?” I asked, bending down to scoop up her book.

  “Oh, Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. I love this book,” I said, ruffling her hair.

  “Where’s Mom?”

  She pointed toward Mom’s room.

  “Thanks kiddo, I’m going out tonight, but maybe we can do something special tomorrow, like bake cookies,” I said, recalling my meeting with Mrs. Leighton.

  She nodded happily before resuming her book again.

  Feeling not so guilty, I headed down the hall to tell Mom I was going out.

  I knocked on her door lightly.

  “Come in,” she said.

  I pushed the door open and found her sitting on the chaise lounge in her room with her laptop open.

  “What’s up?” I asked, indicating the computer.

  “Christmas shopping,” she said, pasting a bright smile on her face. “I’ve decided I would go the Internet-shopping route this year.”

  “Good plan,” I said, seeing through her false gaiety. Like everything else, Christmas shopping was something her and my dad had enjoyed doing together. It was the one time of the year that I didn’t give my typical attitude over babysitting Megan, since I always knew it was something I would profit from. Shame welled up inside of me as I remembered all the times I flat-out refused to babysit.

  “It’ll do,” she said, closing the laptop. “So, what are you up to?”

  “I’m going out for a few hours if that’s okay?”

  “That’s fine. Anyone I know?”

  I shook my head.

  “Do I need to be concerned?” she asked, walking down new territory. I had hung out with the same group of kids for years, so she never had to give it a second thought before.

  “No, it’s cool. It's just some kids from school,” I fibbed, giving the false impression I was hanging out with more than one individual.

  She looked at me critically for a moment before answering. “Okay, but keep you cell with you at all times.”

  “Deal,” I said, heading for the door.

  “And home by eleven,” she added before I could make a clean getaway.

  “What? Eleven. It used to be midnight,” I complained.

  “That’s when I knew exactly who you were hanging out with. When this mystery person wants to come by and meet your mom, then you’ll get that hour back,” she said, making it clear I hadn’t fooled her.

  “Whatever.” There's an hour I was never getting back. I went to close the door behind me, but headed back in to give her a kiss on the cheek. “Love you Mom,” I said grudgingly.

  “I love you too, Kass. Stay safe.”

  “I will Mom.”

  I hurried to my room with less than five minutes left until I was supposed to meet Maddon.

  “Crap, I’m gonna be late,” I muttered as I ripped off the clothes I had worn to school that day. I pulled on my favorite white-with-black-flowers cotton skirt, a ribbed white tank and my three-quarter sleeve white sweater before sitting at my vanity. Looking at myself in the mirror, there was only one word to describe my hair—disaster. The typical Florida humidity had played havoc with my nice straight hair from earlier. I didn't have time to run the heat iron back over it, so I just gathered it up in my hand and pulled it up into a high ponytail. Lastly, I applied a little pink-tinted lip gloss and eyeliner as a final touch.

  "Crap, shoes," I mumbled, turning away from the mirror to search through my endless supply of shoes in the closet. I wanted to wear my favorite white leather Hollister sandals. Tossing a few pairs to the side, I finally found them buried under my UGGs that I was convinced I couldn’t live without last year. My mom laughingly told me they were inappropriate for Florida weather, but I had insisted. I wore them one time to school and my feet felt like they were encased in a sauna the entire day. At the time, I loathed admitting it, but as I chucked them to the side, I couldn’t help but giggle that she was so right.

  Sliding into my sandals, I smoothed
down my skirt that had ridden up while I was scrounging around on my closet floor and spotted Megan standing by my doorway.

  “What do you think, Peanut? Do I look okay?”

  She nodded her head, looking forlorn.

  “Hey, do you want to hang out in here while I’m gone? When I get home, it’ll be like a sleepover on an island?” I said, indicating my high king-size bed. “How does that sound?”

  She gave her approval by scampering up on my bed with her book in hand. I watched as she burrowed herself in among my countless pillows until she was all but invisible.

  “All right, I’ll be home later. Don’t hog my whole bed,” I teased on my way out the door. I headed for the stairs before making a quick detour back to Mom’s room.

  “Hey, Peanut is up on my bed,” I told her so she wouldn’t worry.

  “Okay, sweetheart, have fun.”

  “Thanks Mom,” I said, hurrying out her door and down the steps.

  I pulled into the parking lot of Freemont Park more than fifteen minutes late. I climbed from my car feeling bad for making Maddon wait for me. I found him at one of the pavilions closest to the playground area that would have been bursting with a birthday party if it were a Saturday or Sunday.

  He watched my approach, drumming on his pant legs with his worn drumsticks.

  “Sorry I’m late,” I said as he watched me silently.

  He didn’t answer, but continued to study me with a look I couldn’t quite place.

  “What?” I asked, self-consciously looking down to make sure my skirt was hanging straight and I wasn't giving him a peep show.

  He stood up still not speaking. My breath hitched in my throat as he stopped a hair's width from me, placing his hands on my hips to pull me flush against him. “You’re driving me insane,” he said before dropping his warm lips onto mine. He nipped at my bottom lip gently until I opened my mouth to his. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. After a moment, he pulled back slightly, studying me with eyes that were almost black with desire.

  “Well, that’s a heck of a greeting,” I said in a shaky voice as my knees trembled.