Eye of the Beholder

by Ingrid Weaver

  Her body tensed. Her weight shifted as she raised her head from his shoulder. “Rafe?”

  He opened his eyes. He squinted against the daylight and tried to focus on Glenna’s face.

  She stared at him, her mouth agape. She put her hand on his forehead, then twisted her arm and used the underside of her wrist. “It’s gone!”

  “What?”

  “Your fever. Thank God!”

  The skin under her eyes looked bruised. He frowned. “Are you okay? You…look tired.”

  She smiled. “Now I know for sure you must be awake. You’re worrying about me.”

  “What…” He coughed. “What day is it?”

  She sat up and reached for their water bottle. She gave him a drink, then moved her hands to his cheeks to frame his face. Her lips trembled. “I don’t know, Rafe. I’ve lost track. How about that? No day planner and everything goes crazy. How are you feeling?”

  “Not sure,” he mumbled.

  “Your leg’s getting better. It isn’t anywhere near as red and the swelling’s gone down and—” She caught her breath on a sob.

  He tried to sit up. “Glenna?”

  She didn’t reply. Instead, she leaned over and kissed his forehead. “You’re okay,” she whispered. “You’re going to be all right. I’d thought you were dreaming again, but you’re really with me this time.” Her lips skimmed over his temples to the ridge of his cheekbone. “You’re really getting better.”

  “Looks like it.”

  She rubbed her against his. Even through the scar tissue he could feel the warmth of her tears.

  He caught her chin. “Glenna? You’re crying.”

  She hiccuped and dipped her head to kiss his knuckles. “It seemed to go on forever. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

  “I promised I’d get you out of this.”

  “I know, but that’s not what I meant. I…” She paused. “Oh, Rafe.” She brought her mouth to his.

  It wasn’t like the first time they had kissed. There were no demands, only giving. It was warm and gentle, flitting across his lips like the sunlight on his skin. Her mouth still trembled. Her whole body was starting to shake. She inhaled sharply and pressed her face to his neck.

  He wanted to ask her what the matter was. He had to get up and get them moving. But he didn’t resist as her weight eased him back to the ground. He decided to stay where he was for just another minute.

  Because oh, man, she felt so good. Her hair was cool and damp where it spread over his chest. He slid his arms around her back and pulled her closer. Her clothes were damp, too. He could feel every button in her shirt and every wrinkle of her pants as she moved against his bare skin…

  His awakening senses were jolted into a different kind of awareness. Bare skin? What had happened? How had he ended up naked? Why was she wet?

  And what the hell did it matter? He was alive, and the beautiful woman he’d wanted for days was plastered to the front of his naked body. How much more alive could he get? He lowered his head to her hair, closing his eyes as he drank in her scent. Snatches of the dreams that had haunted him stirred in the back of his mind, but he pushed them aside. No room for them now, not with Glenna trembling in his arms. He spread his fingers over her back, pulling her closer, and lowered his hands.

  This felt so good, maybe it was a dream. He skimmed past the gentle dip at the small of her back and cupped her buttocks. Under those men’s pants she was all woman. Round and firm and generous enough to fill his hands. He moved his palm over her hip to her waist and reached for the bow of her improvised belt.

  She might have said something then. He felt her breath puff across his throat. But his pulse was thudding too hard for him to hear her. He tugged the bow loose and slipped his hand inside her pants.

  He groaned at the softness as he stroked her stomach. He slid his palm downward brushing over her tight, feminine curls. He’d felt this before, too. He knew what she liked. He moved his fingers.

  Her breath caught. She tilted her hips to give him better access.

  His body hardened instantly. If he’d been thinking straight, he might have been surprised at the strength of his reaction. But he wasn’t letting himself think. And he wasn’t surprised. He’d already realized he’d have to be dead not to react to Glenna.

  “Rafe?”

  The blood that pounded through his veins was making his head start to spin again, yet he didn’t stop. He heard the yearning in her voice and couldn’t stop. He tugged her pants down past her knees and rolled on top

  She wriggled beneath him. She wasn’t trying to get away, she was kicking free of her pants. She clutched his shoulders. “Oh, Rafe. Yes.”

  He settled between her thighs. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was sure there were reasons he shouldn’t do this, but after the pain and the nightmares, he needed Glenna’s sweetness like he needed air. Once before, he’d given her what she needed. Now it was her turn. He dug his fingertips into her buttocks, angled her to meet him and thrust forward.

  The power of Rafe’s entry sent Glenna sliding across the ground. Her hair caught under her shoulders. Her back scraped over a broken twig. She heard a bird screech and flap noisily from a tree overhead.

  She didn’t care. She was right where she wanted to be. With Rafe. She wrapped her arms around his back, whimpering as he withdrew, sighing as he filled her again. It was fast and raw, as primitive as their surroundings. But after twenty-four hours of touching him, bathing him, lying on top of him, it was what she needed.

  They fell into a rhythm as easily as if they’d been lovers for years. No words were spoken. The world became a blur of his body sliding over hers, of his breath on her neck, of the scent of skin and sex and the ripe heat of the jungle.

  She arched her back as the pleasure burst over her. Yet it was more than pleasing. It was…right. As precious as water in a desert, as inevitable as thunder following lightning. She hadn’t realized she’d closed her eyes until she heard him say her name. She blinked and focused on his face.

  His limbs stiffened. He shuddered once, twice, then gathered her to his chest and rolled to his side.

  His eyes drifted closed. Yet just before his breathing slowed into the steady cadence of sleep, he did something that sent Glenna soaring through another climax.

  For the first time ever, she saw Rafe smile.

  It was dark when Rafe awoke next. This time there was no moment of disorientation, no question whether or not he was dreaming. He was completely awake and more aware than he wanted to be.

  Glenna. What the hell had he done? His eyes snapped open.

  She was sitting cross-legged in front of the fire pit, leaning over to add a stick to the flames. Her hair was a halo of backlit curls. She held it back with one hand, her body twisting as she reached forward. Her shirt pulled tight, revealing the silhouette of her breast.

  Rafe knew he should apologize. He should have warned her of what a bastard he was. But right now, the only regret that he had was that he hadn’t been completely awake. The first time, she had fallen asleep. The second time, he had. Next time he would make damn sure they had the opportunity to do it right, to make it last and to savor each sensation.

  The mere thought of touching her again made his pulse speed up. He glanced down. He was still nude, but she must have draped his clothes over top of him while he’d slept.

  Yeah, next time they would both be naked. He had yet to see what she looked like. He’d felt her, but that wasn’t enough. He wanted to watch his hand move over her skin. He wanted to see her face when he touched her and when she c apart with that low, throaty cry.

  Dammit. There couldn’t be a next time. He knew that. He just had to get the message to his body. He sat up, snatching his jumpsuit to cover his groin.

  At his movement, Glenna spun around. The moment she saw him, her face lit up in a smile. “Hi.”

  “Glenna.”

  “How are you feeling?” She knelt by his side and put her wrist against
his forehead.

  He caught her hand and lowered it. “The fever’s pretty well gone. Thanks for helping me.”

  “I didn’t do much. You’re the one who got through it.” She brushed a soft kiss over his mouth. “You’re really an amazing man.”

  He caught her shoulders to hold her away from him. He still wasn’t functioning at a hundred percent, but if she kept touching him, he didn’t know how long his good intentions would last. “Glenna, we have to talk.”

  She rubbed her cheek against his arm. “All right.”

  He gritted his teeth at her caress. “I apologize for what happened earlier. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you.”

  “I thought you enjoyed making love with me.”

  “It was sex, Glenna.”

  “We made love, Rafe.”

  “It was a reflex reaction when I woke up to find you on top of me.”

  “It was more than that. We made love because we have a bond between us. Why do you keep trying to find other explanations?”

  “Because other factors are at work here. I tried to explain that to you before.”

  “I know you did, and you were wrong then, too.”

  “You’re going to feel differently once you’re home.”

  She ran her fingers along his tensed arms. “We’ll be the same people, no matter where we are, Rafe.”

  “That’s my point. You don’t know me.”

  Glenna curled her hands around his biceps and smiled. She was certain that he was wrong about that, too. She did know him. She’d seen him when he’d been stripped of his emotional defenses. She’d seen him weep, and she understood why he wanted to push her away.

  There was so much love inside him, but he was unwilling to let it out. It was there in his courage, in the countless little kindnesses he’d showed her. And it was there in the way he made love. This morning he’d been groggy and probably only half-aware, yet he’d made her feel loved.

  Just like she had, he’d let the events that happened in the past shape his life. She’d let her vow not to be like her father keep her from getting close to anyone. But Rafe had given her a second chance. He deserved to have one, too. “Have you ever been in love, Rafe?”

  He took her hands from his arms and lowered them to her sides. “You should try to getleep, Glenna. We need to get moving at dawn.”

  She knew what he was trying to do. He was retreating into his soldier mode, but she wouldn’t let him. She rose to her knees and framed his face in her palms. “I thought I wouldn’t recognize love when it happened, because I’ve been avoiding it all my life, but I’m not afraid of it anymore. I love you, Rafe.”

  Something sparked in his gaze. Something so eager and pure and so full of longing, it brought tears to her eyes. But it was gone before she could blink. He jerked his head away from her touch. “No, you don’t, Glenna. It’s all an illusion, a product of our circumstances.”

  “I’ve never said that to anyone before. I thought I would die without knowing what this felt like, but then you burst into my life and—”

  “Dammit, don’t do this!” He rolled to his feet. He staggered briefly and hung on to a tree trunk until he regained his balance. He stalked to the other side of the fire. “Just stop, okay? You don’t know what you’re saying.”

  She had a moment of uneasiness as she stared across the fire at Rafe. His body was etched in orange by the flames. Flickers of light licked across his shoulders and back and the tight curves of his buttocks. He stood with his legs braced apart and his fists clenched by his sides.

  His nakedness didn’t make him look vulnerable. On the contrary, it made Glenna vividly aware of his size and the power in his frame. What if he was right that she didn’t really know him?

  No. She had faith in Rafe. His actions kept proving the kind of man he was. He would never hurt her.

  She stood up and followed him. She stopped when she stood a foot behind him. “Don’t be afraid, Rafe. I’m not.”

  “I never meant for it to go this far.”

  She put her hand on his back. There was no give to his muscles. She stepped closer and slipped her arms around his waist. “I think I knew I loved you from the first moment I looked into your eyes. It’s why I thought we had this bond.”

  A shudder rippled over his skin. “Think, Glenna. It isn’t love you feel. You keep trying to make this into something it’s not. We had sex, that’s all.”

  She tightened her embrace, pressing her breasts against his back. “You gave me a second chance, Rafe. I’m not letting my past keep me from enjoying the here and now. Neither should you.”

  “For God’s sake, Glenna, stop touching me.” He caught her wrists and stretched her arms away from his waist. “I’m trying to do the right thing here, but I’m not made of stone.”

  “Oh, I know that.” She kissed the hard edge of his shoulder blade. “No other man has made me feel the way you do, Rafe. I just have to look at you and I want you.”

  He ground his teeth. “You’re Glenna Hastings Vanderhayden,” he muttered. “You’re a civilian hostage and it’s my duty to rescue you.”

  “So?”

  “You’re under stress. You’re using this…attraction between us to escape from reality.”

  She shook off his grip and slipped her arms around his rib cage, spreading her fingers over his chest. “Why can’t you accept what I’m offering?”

  “Because this situation isn’t real, Glenna.”

  She skimmed her fingertips over his nipples. “It feels real to me, Rafe.”

  “Glenna…”

  “Unless you don’t want me. Is that what the problem is? Does it repulse you when I touch you?”

  His chest heaved. He tipped his head back and swore, then turned around and grasped her arms. He made no move to hide the erection that butted against her stomach. “Does that answer your question?” he said through his teeth.

  She couldn’t reply. The firelight traced his scars in stark, jagged outlines. The stubble of his beard glittered roughly over his jaw. His entire body radiated the fierce tension of a warrior.

  And yet his eyes gleamed with an echo of the pure, eager longing she’d seen before.

  Glenna didn’t even consider retreating. She remembered how he had felt moving over her, moving inside her. After a lifetime of bottling up her passion, she was amazed at how easy it was to let it go. She stepped closer and rubbed against him.

  He swore again. Softly, beneath his breath.

  She reached for the buttons on her shirt.

  He pushed her hands aside and crumpled the edges of her collar in his fists. “We still have to move out at dawn.”

  She nodded. “All right.”

  He drew her upward until she stood on her toes. “It’s not love, Glenna.”

  She lifted her hand to his hair. “Rafe, would you stop arguing and kiss m—”

  He did. Long, deep and hard. He slid her buttons from their holes and yanked off her shirt. In less than a minute she was as naked as he. And still the kiss went on. Glenna shifted restlessly, rubbing the sole of her foot down his leg, pressing her hips toward him in a wordless plea.

  Rafe clamped his hands to her waist and lifted her from her feet, then backed her away from the fire until her shoulders came up against the trunk of a tree. He kissed his way down the side of her neck and opened his mouth over her shoulder. Some animal screeched in the darkness, echoing the wildness Glenna felt. She dug her nails into Rafe’s back, quivering at the scrape of his teeth.

  Oh, yes. This was what she wanted.

  Suddenly he set her feet on the ground and released his hold on her waist. But instead of taking her in his arms, he spun around and placed himself between her and the fire. He held up his hand in an order for silence.

  Her pulse was crashing in her ears, her breath was coming in short, sharp bursts. It took her several seconds to hear the hum. “What…”

  “It’s a chopper.” He reached behind him for her hand. “Coming in low from the north
.“Oh, my God.” She twined her fingers with Rafe’s and pressed closer to his back. “Could it be Juarez?”

  He listened for another minute, then shook his head. “It’s an AH6.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It’s one of the helicopters that Delta uses. Looks like my team found us.” The noise grew stronger until it became the stuttering rhythm of a helicopter engine.

  Emotions welled inside her. After so many endless days and nights, it didn’t seem possible. It’s what she’d prayed for, what she had almost given up hoping for.

  This was what she wanted.

  Wasn’t it? Wasn’t it?

  Rafe turned to face her. With his back to the fire, his expression was unreadable. “It’s over, Glenna. You’re going home.”

  Chapter 8

  The helicopter searchlight sent columns of blue-white knifing through the forest canopy. Branches swayed in the backwash from the rotors as Rafe zipped up his jumpsuit and helped Glenna fasten the last of her buttons. She lifted her hand to shield her face from the dry leaves and the ashes from their fire that swirled in the air just as the first ropes snaked downward through the trees.

  Four men in army fatigues slid down the ropes and jumped to the ground. Three of the men moved smoothly into defensive positions at the edge of the clearing, their guns held ready as they scanned the forest. The fourth man jogged over to where Rafe and Glenna stood.

  He was as tall as Rafe and almost as broad. Jet-black hair curled from beneath the back of his helmet. Streaks of dark green camouflage paint crisscrossed his face. He was an imposing sight until his mouth stretched into an incongruously boyish grin. “Hello, Rafe. Want a lift?”

  “Sure, Flynn. Nice of you to drop in.”

  “We were in the neighborhood and had nothing better to do.” He clapped a large hand on Rafe’s shoulder and moved his gaze to Glenna. “Sergeant Flynn O’Toole, at your service, ma’am. I’ll take you up first.” He tipped his head to speak into the microphone at his throat. “Send down the harness. We’ve got both of them.”

  Rafe put his arm around Glenna’s waist to support her and guided her forward. “Her right ankle’s sprained,” he said, talking past her to Sergeant O’Toole. “Have you got a medic with you?”