by Charity B.
“Like what?”
“Anything you want.” She shifts around and rolls her shoulders without moving her hands. “Here, I’ll go first.” She takes a deep breath and clears her throat. “Will my designs ever make it to the red carpet?”
Nothing happens. I look at Cara Jo and then I feel it move beneath my fingers. My heart thumps so hard I have to release a laugh. “Whoa!”
It continues to move across the board until stopping over YES.
“Sweet!” She moves her hand from the planchette long enough to throw more popcorn in her mouth. “Now you try, Tav.”
“Okay…uh…” Even though there are a lot of questions that I could ask, I’ve had so much fun tonight, that only one question pops into my head. “Is Lex right? Will I really be able to do whatever I want, someday?”
It’s moving slowly and I’m getting nervous. Closing my eyes, I wait until I can’t feel it moving anymore. As I open them, I smile so big.
YES.
Saturday, June 27th
The dinner reservations I made are in an hour and Tavin keeps eyeballing the rice crispy cookie cake Cara Jo made. Keeping her away from it before we leave is a task on its own. Once she’s dressed in the killer pink dress she has on, she gets Blind Mag fixed up with food, water, and toys before we get into the car.
Merging onto the freeway, I see Tavin messing with something in my peripheral and when I glance at her she’s downing a piece of cake.
“Damn it, Tavin, I told you to wait. You need to eat something not made only of sugar, and now you won’t be hungry for dinner.”
She scoffs and licks her fingers. “It’s not only sugar. I watched Cara Jo put eggs in it, myself. Besides, I can eat both.”
I actually believe that. The girl can put away some food. It’s not that big of a deal, other than it’s simply not good for her to eat so much sugar. I suppose picking my battles will be necessary with her, so for now, the crap food I’ll forfeit.
“Jesus, fine. No dessert after dinner though.”
“I was going to get dessert after dinner?”
Teasing her, I shrug and her glare is so adorable that I laugh. “Eat every single thing you order, and we’ll talk.”
Her expression turns smug as she leans back in the seat. “Oh, we’ll be talking.”
The restaurant is on the top level of the building, and our table is in front of the wall-to-ceiling window. It’s the time of night where the sky is swirled in pinks, purples, and blues, with Shadoebox lit up in lights against it. Tavin must find it stunning as well because she’s gazing out the window with a sweet smile on her lips.
My staring is interrupted by the bread boy with a warm loaf, water, and menus. We look over the wine selection and land on a bottle of Armand de Brignac Rosé.
Once we decide what food we’re ordering, I bring up my trip.
“I need to fly to Tacoma, on Monday. As much as I would love you to come with me, I doubt your knock off ID will suffice.” She shifts her gaze to the table while her lips form a subtle pout. “I know you’re disappointed. It won’t be like this forever and I’ll only be gone overnight. I’ll be back before you know it.”
She quirks her mouth to the side in contemplation before she nods. “I know.”
“Do you think you’d rather stay at Silas’, with Sasha,” Yeah… apparently she’s staying there now, “or have Timothy stay with you at my place?”
“Can Toben spend the night when you’re gone?”
I choke on the bread I’m eating. She wants him to stay with her in my house? Overnight? I’m not worried about her doing anything with him, it’s not that…and I understand their relationship a little bit more now, I just still don’t trust him yet.
“No drugs in my house, Tav. I’m serious. If he stays over, he leaves it all at home, okay?”
She claps her hands and does a little bounce. “Thank you, Lex. And I promise, no drugs.”
I can’t believe I’m allowing this. “Alright.”
A victorious smile stretches across her soft face. I don’t know if it’s because I’m head over heels or if it’s because she’s getting healthier, but she seems lighter, as if she’s glowing brighter. Regardless, happiness is beautiful on her.
Our server arrives to take our order and introduces himself as Chase. The waiters here are all fantastic. I hear they go through a brutal training process, and Chase isn’t an exception as he shows off his knowledge of the menu, and informs us of the specials. Within moments of taking our order, he comes back with our drinks and appetizers.
Tavin asks him where the restroom is and he offers to walk her even though they’re right around the corner.
I dig into the appetizer and, oh my God, these mushrooms are perfect. Tavin is taking so long that Chase comes back and I order my next drink. As I polish off my mushrooms, I keep glancing at the hallway. I’m beginning to worry she got sick.
Chase places my drink on the table. “Were the mushrooms up to par, Mr. Sørensen?”
“Absolutely. They were incredible.”
“May I take your plate? Your food will be out very soon.”
“Yes, thank you.” He clears my space and I hand him a fifty. “Would you mind keeping an eye on the table? I want to go check on my girlfriend.”
“Of course. Thank you, sir.”
Dropping my napkin on the table, I walk to the hall around the corner and I freeze mid-step. Tavin’s pressed against the wall as a large man hovers over her. My natural instinct is to react aggressively, though it’s clear she isn’t threatened or scared. She’s sad.
“Tavin, what’s going on?”
They both look at me and as soon as I recognize him, I’m sure my mouth falls open.
Cain Saxon. The Cain Saxon. He was in The Song of the Dying last year, and was amazing. I knew he lived in Shadoebox City and apparently, he’s a bit of a recluse. He rarely does interviews and I never see him in tabloids or magazines, other than photo shoots. To be honest, I’m a little star struck at the moment.
“Look, kid, I need a minute. I’ll repay you for your time,” he barks.
Kid? Are you kidding me? That whole star-struck thing? Yeah, I’m over that.
“I’m her boyfriend, not a Client, you dick.”
He backs away from her as if she struck him and frowns at her. “Boyfriend? Is that where you’ve been this whole time?”
She nods before looking up at him. “Yes, Master.”
Did she seriously just call him…
“Master?!”
It annoys Toben when I put all the little smiley face and heart pictures at the end of my texts. I don’t care though because I like them, so he can deal with it. I push send on the text, telling him about staying over on Monday, as I pull open the bathroom door. Oh, I hope my caramelized whatever I ordered is there when I get back.
My face and body slam against something hard.
“Upmf!” Jeez. What did I just run into? I really should pay more attention. I see fancy shoes. Oh crap it’s a person. “I’m so sorry! I—”
“Tavin?!”
My eyes stretch wide. I know this voice very well and I hesitate to look up because he’s surely angry with me. I’ve missed quite a few of our weekend playdates.
“Master…I…”
He leans his body toward me as he walks, causing me to back up against the wall.
“Where have you been? I have been trying to hire you for weeks! Mr. James said you were ‘out of stock’.” My head hits the wall. I can’t move back anymore and his face is as close as it can get without touching me. “I don’t even want to know what the fuck that means. The things I began to think… He has a reputation for viciousness, I was scared he…”
He was scared? Why?
“I’m sorry, Master. If I knew how to contact you I—”
His thumb softly touches my chin. “This is why I need you to be mine, really mine, Tavin. I miss you, and I’ve hated worrying about you these past weeks.”
Why is he acting t
his way? He has his gentle moments, sure, but there was never any doubt who was in control. This is different. He isn’t being aggressive or forceful at all. Is it because he hasn’t paid for this time with me?
“Master, so much has happened.”
He isn’t like the other Clients, he never has been. He looks genuinely upset and I feel horrible that I didn’t think about how he would feel. I thought he would be angry and then get over it. I never dreamed he would still care.
“Then tell me. I’ve always wanted you to talk to me. You’re the one who’s closed off. Even though I pay for you I—”
“Tavin, what’s going on?”
Crap, crap. I shut my eyes because this is going to suck. I was hoping to get back out there before Lex started wondering where I was.
Master’s shoulders drop like they do when he is irritated. “Look kid, I need a minute. I’ll repay you for your time.”
Lex hadn’t really seemed too upset until now. He and Sasha do the same face when they get offended. “I’m her boyfriend, not a Client, you dick.”
“Boyfriend?” Master looks at me in a way I can’t quite recognize…pain? Why is he so upset? He’s more than just mad—he’s hurt. I don’t understand. “Is that where you’ve been this whole time?”
While I want to be able to explain everything, this is completely outside of the realm of our normal relationship. I don’t know how else to be with him. “Yes, Master.”
“Master?!” Alexander’s voice carries down the hall.
Now he’s really mad.
This is getting overwhelming, I don’t know what the heck is going on with Master, and I don’t know how to explain him to Lex.
Master ignores him and when I look into his eyes, he’s looking at me in that curious way he does sometimes. “We’ve been together for five years and you’ve never cared for me, have you? I was never anything more than a Client to you.”
I don’t know what he wants from me. “I never knew you felt this way…I’m sorry. I thought I was just Sweet Girl. You d—”
“I was working on that! I’ve been trying to purchase you for years. He’s a stubborn bastard.”
Glancing over at Lex, I can almost see the veins in his neck bulging. While he’s clearly fuming, at least he’s being silent about it.
“None of this was planned or intentional, it all happened so fast and—”
“Is he who you want?” He points to Lex as his Adam’s apple bobs. “Would you truly rather be with him?”
I don’t want to hurt him, but I know the answer more than I have ever known anything. “Yes, Master.”
His eyes take on a cast as he transforms back into the man I know. “My name is Cain. I’m not your Master anymore.” He turns his back to me and adds, “Apparently, I never was.”
Without another look, he walks down the hall, past Alexander, and out of my life. Just because I never wanted to physically be with him, doesn’t mean part of me isn’t sorrowful at never seeing him again. I never knew he had real feelings for me and finding out this way makes me sad.
“You call Cain Saxon ‘Master’?”
I can tell by his clenched fists that he’s trying his hardest to keep it together, as he walks up to me.
“That’s what he wanted me to call him.”
“There’s clearly more between you two than simply a business exchange. Why didn’t you tell me about him?”
“I didn’t know I was supposed to.” I throw my arms in the air because sometimes, he frustrates me. “Even though there were times I had fun with him, I never would have been with him if I didn’t have to. I mean, yeah, he was my favorite Client, and I guess over time we may have become friends, I just never thought of it like that until now.”
My voice is raising and I’m getting angry. I feel like I’m always in trouble with someone.
His eyebrows smooth out before he wraps his warm arms around me. “Okay, relax. I’m sorry, I don’t want to upset you. That was just a shock for me. I mean, Cain Saxon? Really?”
He takes my hand and leads me back to our table.
“You know him?” He sure didn’t seem to know Lex. “I don’t think he remembers you.”
He laughs as he pulls out my chair. “I don’t know him personally. He’s an actor. A pretty big one.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “He’s in movies? Can we watch one?” I hope he’s in an old-timey one. It would be so funny to see Master as a cowboy.
He chuckles as he combs his hair back and smiles. That combination makes me so achy. “Yeah, I have a few.”
I take my first bite of dinner and it’s not what I was expecting. It’s not sweet at all. “This tastes nothing like caramel!”
Alexander doesn’t bring Master up again until we’re back in the theater room deciding which of his movies we are going to watch.
“I’m guessing Cain was nice to you if he was your favorite. How long was he a Client?”
Even though I still don’t like to talk about this stuff with him, I guess answering his questions is the least I can do after everything he’s done for me.
“Five years. He wanted to wait until I was eighteen to hire me. And yeah, he was nice… in his own way. He would ask me my opinion sometimes and he gave me pretty dresses to wear at dinner. And he suspended me.”
He turns from the reel case to look at me. “He ‘suspended’ you? What does that mean?”
I twist around in my seat and tap my shoulder blades. “He put big hooks through my back and used them to lift me into the air with chains. It made me feel so floaty.” I turn back around and shrug. “It was fun.”
“So that’s where the holes are from.” I nod and wonder if I will ever turn him off with these things; if he’ll realize one day that this is all too much for him. “Huh. I’ve wondered that for a while.” He’s lost in his thoughts for a second before his attention is back on the reels. “What if we watch his newest one? It’s really a fantastic film, it’s a little sad though.”
I look to the popcorn machine. “Sure. Can I make popcorn?”
He cracks that gorgeous smirk as he sets up the movie. “Yeah, and grab some soda.”
Lex doesn’t usually drink that much cola, and when he does drink it, it’s either out of a fountain or in glass bottles.
Going to the fridge, I grab two bottles of cherry cola and a gray and yellow striped tub with the Vulture logo on the side. I carry it all to the popcorn machine and fill up the tub with as much popcorn as I can. The previews start, and as the lights dim, he sits next to me and kisses my head while I grab a big ol’ handful of popcorn. As I chew it, I realize there’s something sweet and wonderfully different about it.
“Oh my gosh, this is delicious, what did you do to it?”
If the sun could laugh it would sound like Lex. “I thought you might like that. It’s kettle corn. We recently added it to Vulture’s concession menu.”
I nod and hand him his soda. My mouth is too full to respond anyway. The movie starts and the music in the intro makes my heart beat in tune to it. When Master comes on the screen, he looks so different, I don’t even recognize him at first. In real life, he’s so well-groomed and put together. The character he’s playing is not. I have to remind myself that I know him. That he’s not really the man on the screen.
The final scene closes and as the credits roll, I can’t stop crying. Alexander said it was a ‘little sad’ not that it was the most heartbreaking movie that has ever been made.
“He died? I… I can’t believe it…”
Lights brighten the room as he flips the switch so I can see him smile. “He didn’t die, we saw him a few hours ago.”
“I can’t believe he never told me he was in movies.”
He clicks his tongue as he picks up our empty popcorn bucket and bottles. “Yeah, it sounds like you didn’t do much talking.”
I try not to get offended when he responds with that snip in his voice, I know this has been a lot for him. That doesn’t mean I have to acknowledge
it.
Monday, June 29th
I CAN’T BELIEVE THE ILLUSION of normalcy that our life is taking on. The driver arrives to take me to the airport, and I hold Tavin’s hand down the pathway to the car. He puts my bag in the trunk as I turn to her to take her face in my hands. Even though it’s only over night, I still don’t enjoy leaving her.
“Remember your promise.”
“No drugs.” She draws an X over her chest with her finger. “Promise.”
“Thank you.” I lean down to kiss her and she wraps her arms around my neck so I pick her up to bring her to eye level. “I’ll call you tonight, okay?”
Her soft lips peck my nose. “Okay.”
I watch her ass as she runs back to the house, until Timothy opens the door to let her inside.
I’m not a big fan of flying. It’s not being on the plane that I hate, it’s the pain in the ass of getting there. I love everything about Shadoebox City, besides this airport. The little bottles of liquor they give me on the plane don’t do anything and I end up ordering four of them for barely an hour and a half long flight.
I didn’t get much sleep last night, so once I get to Tacoma, I crash for a few hours at the hotel before calling a car to take me to the theater.
As the driver pulls up in front of Vulture, I look out the window and grin. There’s a carnival in the parking lot across the street. The first night I was with Tavin, I made her a promise, and now it’s time to fulfill it.
It takes me fifteen minutes to find it. The exact same pink and purple dragon. To win the game, I have to use a huge mallet to hit the target hard enough to cause the creepy clown face to ring the bell at the top. Third time must be the charm because the bell goes off and the carny asks me which prize I want.
“The pink dragon.”
I smile at Timothy as I walk inside. “So what are we doing today? Toben can’t come over until this afternoon.”
