Stardust (The Starlight Trilogy #3)

by Alexandra Richland

  Aidan chuckled. Leave it to Beth to turn his sorrow into joy with just one word, one look. “That’s it? You don’t need time to think about it?”

  She giggled. “Not at all. I loved our time together in New York. Although you’ve rented a place there for a while, I feel like it would be a new beginning for us.”

  “I think so, too.” Aidan grinned. “It’s a done deal, then. Once Golden Gloves is finished, we’ll move.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  Longing softened the cheerfulness in Beth’s expression. Mindful of his bandages, she worked her hands into his hair and brought their lips together. Aidan reciprocated like a man in optimal health. Car accident be damned. Nothing would prevent him from kissing and touching his girl when and how she wanted him to.

  Afterward, they snuggled under the blanket, their heads resting side by side on the pillow again.

  “While you were unconscious, I hummed the song you wrote for me.” Beth stroked his cheek. “I wanted you to know I was here for you.”

  Aidan closed his eyes. Her soft breaths and touch drifted across his face, swathing him in serenity.

  She’s exquisite.

  Go to her.

  He opened his eyes. “I love you so much, little dove.”

  Beth’s smile was more perfect than lying in the most vibrant meadow under the warmest afternoon sun. “I love you, too.”

  They settled in for the night, moonlight gracing them with a lone spotlight as they slipped off to sleep.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Aidan was released from Chicago Memorial Hospital three weeks after his admission. He spent his twenty-fourth birthday in the hospital, quite the departure from the elaborate plans Beth and Nathan had made in the early part of the year, but his circumstances didn’t impact his special day. People who loved him surrounded him. That was all he needed.

  Upon his discharge, Beth and Aidan bought everything they required during their temporary stay in Chicago. They also rented a downtown apartment, where they’d reside until the Golden Gloves shoot concluded. Beth took care of Aidan alongside a home health nurse who visited daily, and within no time, he was ready to return to the set to finish the film.

  Once Beth and Aidan told Olivia, Nathan, Connie, and Matthew about their decision to move to New York permanently, their friends decided the city was perfect for them as well. Olivia was interested in designing costumes for Broadway, and Nathan wished to be closer to his mother at Bellevue Hospital. Connie grew up in New Jersey and already preferred the East Coast to the West Coast, and RCA Victor, Matthew’s employer, had offices on both coasts, which meant he could relocate without difficulty.

  While Beth and Aidan remained in Chicago to wrap Golden Gloves, Connie and Matthew flew to Los Angeles to get their affairs in order, and Olivia and Nathan set up temporary residence at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City—using Olivia’s savings—during their search for a new apartment and an office for Nathan’s new business venture.

  Before Olivia left for New York, she fashioned a wardrobe for Golden Gloves’ remaining scenes. Her original designs remained in L.A. and belonged to Starlight Studios, and she didn’t have time to make new ones. Instead, she visited thrift stores in Chicago and purchased everything she needed on a small budget.

  By mid-June, Aidan felt well enough to fly to New York City and attend the Heavyweight Boxing Championship at Madison Square Garden—Beth’s Valentine’s Day gift to him. They landed just three hours before the start of the event and flew back to Chicago the following morning for a script meeting with Golden Gloves’ full cast and Kazan, but enjoyed their short trip and looked forward to moving there permanently.

  During their overnight visit, Beth suggested they sleep at Aidan’s rented studio apartment on the Upper West Side. Although Aidan had been hesitant, he eventually agreed—but only for that one night. When they returned to New York after Golden Gloves’ completion, he insisted they stay at the Waldorf Astoria until they found an apartment. Beth accepted his compromise.

  As soon as Dr. Billings gave Aidan the all clear to return to the gym, he scheduled daily training sessions with Rocky Marcello, with a promise to Beth that he wouldn’t push himself too far. A few weeks later, his hard work and dedication paid off. He was back to his ideal weight, with just enough muscle to convince the film’s audience he’d never been injured in the first place.

  Although newspapers all over the country covered Aidan’s discharge and the news that Golden Gloves would be released in the fall, the public’s paramount interest was in Beth and Aidan’s relationship. Aidan confirmed they were in love when Beth wheeled him out of Chicago Memorial and into the crowd of reporters, photographers, and curious bystanders gathered on the street. He was in a good mood that day—not only was he finally able to leave the hospital after weeks of restlessness, but he was also on new pain medication, which made him a little loopy.

  Since then, Beth and Aidan had graced the cover of all the major movie magazines, with headlines boasting various catch phrases that announced their love to the world. So far, they’d received an outpouring of public support, proving their popularity didn’t decline with their full disclosure. To keep up with demand, the press requested exclusive interviews, but Beth and Aidan declined. They wanted to focus on Aidan’s recovery and finishing Golden Gloves, and preferred not to overexpose their private lives.

  Venus Rising was released in late April, but Beth didn’t attend the premiere because she refused to leave Aidan in Chicago. The film was a smash hit at the box office, and she received polite reviews for her dancing, which was a lovely surprise.

  According to reports from Hollywood, Ronald Wilson, one of Mr. Mertz’s executives, was now in charge of Starlight Studios. Nathan predicted Mr. Wilson would do a great job filling the role, and so far, everything was business as usual. However, rumors circulated that many actors and actresses were consulting with attorneys to get out of their contracts.

  Although big changes were occurring at the studio, Beth and Aidan were too preoccupied to concern themselves with most of the gossip. As soon as Aidan felt well enough, Beth contacted an analyst, Dr. Johansson, who was recommended by Kazan. Dr. Johansson lived in New York City, so their once-a-week sessions with him had to be conducted over the telephone on a secure long distance line until they moved to Manhattan permanently and could see him in person.

  Even though they had only been talking to the analyst for a month, Aidan was doing much better in coming to terms with his past. He didn’t suffer from nightmares or daytime visions like he used to, and he felt stronger emotionally. He also no longer feared that attending therapy would negatively affect his acting abilities.

  Forgiveness was a crucial part of his transformation. When he shared the details of what happened during his confrontation with his father, Dr. Johansson praised his actions, stating he’d shown maturity and courage. The analyst was impressed with Aidan’s work toward forgiving himself for his mother’s death as well. Meanwhile, Beth dealt with what happened with Mr. Mertz, and what Dr. Johansson described as her self-discovery while balancing both Marie Bates and Elizabeth Sutton.

  Dr. Johansson also encouraged Beth and Aidan to open up about their pasts and how they felt their individual histories affected their relationship. They talked about the mistakes they had made with each other and what they hoped to achieve together from now on, and were well on their way to working through their issues.

  It seemed the old adage that time heals all wounds was true, after all. With Aidan’s body mended and his battle with past demons finally behind him, he and Beth looked forward to the future and plenty more opportunities dedicated to focusing on each other.

  Chapter Eighteen

  In mid-July, on her first day back on set in over three months, Beth paced her trailer, reciting her lines. It was approaching midnight, but she was too jittery to be tired. Beyond the cast read-throughs over the last month, she had rehearsed privately with Aidan every evening. Still, she was concer
ned it hadn’t been enough. She continued to review her script obsessively at every opportunity, even though she already knew it by heart.

  Eventually, Beth swapped her stuffy trailer for a breath of Chicago night air. Multiple trailers lined one side of the quaint residential street. Aidan’s trailer was parked next to hers, but his door was closed. He must have been preparing for his scenes.

  Kazan chose to film the street scenes overnight, when there were fewer people and less traffic to pose interference. In spite of the late hour, however, a crowd had gathered across the road. Right now, the trailers shielded Beth. When she moved down the street to film, she and the entire cast and crew would be in plain view. Security guards were called in to ensure no one trespassed onto the set, but if the enthusiastic reactions she and Aidan received upon their arrival were any indication, it’d be a challenge to keep the fans under control without falling behind schedule.

  “Hey, Beth.” Kazan approached her with grin so fresh no one would ever know he’d been here all day, preparing for tonight’s shoot. “You look beautiful. Olivia really came through for us with the costumes. She won’t have any trouble getting work in New York. I’ve put in a good word for her in the Broadway circles, but her reputation in Hollywood speaks for itself.”

  Beth smiled. “She really appreciates your assistance.”

  “It was my pleasure.” Kazan shoved his hands into his pockets. “You know, I never thought much of that fiancé of hers, because he worked so closely with Luther Mertz, but Nathan is actually a stand-up guy. Damn smart, too. He helped me a lot with Golden Gloves in the month after Aidan’s accident. He’ll have no problem getting back on his feet.”

  “He’s working on a great business idea,” Beth replied. “I have faith in him.”

  “I was just on set. The lights are up, and we’ve planned the exact route you and Aidan will take during the scene. We’ll start with the conversation Mary and Joe have regarding his championship bout, and then Aidan and Wade will film the opening scene of the film. We’ll tackle George and Joe’s arrival at the gym last. That should bring us to about seven o’clock.” Kazan guided her out of the way of a crewmember who raced past them, carrying a fan. “I came by to see if you’d be ready soon. Did you have anything to eat? I told Keith to bring you a sandwich and juice.”

  Beth frowned. “He came by, but I don’t have much of an appetite. Thank you, though.” She changed the subject before Kazan could voice concern. “Have you seen Aidan recently?”

  “I spoke with him about ten minutes ago. He’s still running through his lines. I don’t see the benefit, though. He’s the master of improvisation. He could complete every scene perfectly without rehearsing, based on instinct alone.” Kazan gestured to the brownstone across from her trailer. “Why don’t we have a seat while we wait for him?”

  “Sure.”

  Kazan sat next to Beth on the front stoop, his shoulders hunched and his hands clasped between his knees. “I’ve always hated my nickname, Gadget. It was given to me in my Group Theater days in the 1930s. I love the theater, but my acting is terrible, and back then, I hadn’t considered directing as a plausible career path. So I accepted the role of a stagehand, the go-to guy who fetched stuff for others. A gofer, if you will.”

  He shrugged. “I’ve gotten used to the nickname. Now it’s a term of endearment my friends use, often shortened to Gadg. It wasn’t given to me under those circumstances, though. Anytime I think about it—and I mean really think about its origin—it makes me so damn mad. I spent too many years agreeing with others, plastering a smile on my face when all I really wanted to do was tell ’em off. There are certain social graces that are expected, but sometimes it’s important to stand up for yourself and say what’s really on your mind to save your dignity.”

  The quiet street was disturbed by commotion from the crew, but Beth’s attention was riveted on her director. Although she had always gotten along well with Kazan, they’d never shared deep conversations like he had with Aidan. Insight into this very private man was a rare gift she didn’t dare take for granted.

  “Do you know John Steinbeck?” Kazan shot her an inquisitive glance, making eye contact with her for the first time since they sat down.

  “I read The Grapes of Wrath when I was in school, and East of Eden is one of my favorite novels.”

  “Two years ago, John and I were walking down the Champs-Élysées in Paris—have you ever been to Paris?”

  Beth shook her head. “I’ve never been outside of the U.S. Traveling abroad has always interested me, though.”

  “Well, we’ll be flying to Europe to promote Golden Gloves, and Paris will definitely be a stop on the tour—London, too, Madrid, and most likely, Rome. If you love Manhattan, you’ll love Paris. They’re my favorite cities in the world. Anyhow, in 1952, I went to Paris to get away from Luther because he was driving me nuts over a film I was making for him called Viva Zapata. I met up with John, who took the train in from London. He was going through a bout of depression, and I don’t know, I guess misery likes company. Over coffee, I told him how frustrated I was with Hollywood, and how I should’ve stayed in New York and stuck to Broadway and the Actors Studio.”

  Beth giggled. “You sound like Aidan.”

  Kazan grinned. “Yeah, well, Hollywood is tough to stomach when you’ve been trained in the theater first. No offense. Anyway, after John told me all about the stuff he was dealing with—writer’s block, trouble with his wife—I told him about the script revisions Luther wanted for Viva Zapata because he thought my portrayal of the main character would anger the Mexican people—which, by the way, were unfounded accusations.

  “Do you know what John said to me?” Kazan chuckled. “Keep in mind, this is after I gave him a diplomatic response to his problems. He told me I had to get back to myself, that my main goal should be to find myself again. He said I’d changed a lot since entering the entertainment industry and become the worst thing of all—a nice guy! I was so busy getting people to like me and approve of me that I’d lost myself, who I was, what I wanted to be, my true identity. I’d become careless with my desires and wishes and positions. I’d become so used to sacrificing them, I no longer knew it was happening.

  “Then he got to my nickname.” Kazan’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “That goddamn name is not you, he said. That’s not what you’re like. You’re not a handy, friendly, adaptable little gadget! You made yourself that way to get along with people, to be accepted, to become invisible. He called it a neuter nickname, a piece of self-effacement that was useful for everyone but myself.”

  The humor faded from Kazan’s face. “John’s solution was for me to find out who I was and what my place was in the world. He said it was the only creative source I had. I had to claim it for my own and not let anyone take it away.”

  “I don’t understand how you got that nickname in the first place, now that I know its original meaning.” Beth’s eyebrows drew together. “I never thought of you that way at all.”

  Kazan’s eyes lost focus as he slipped into contemplative silence. Oh, how precious it was, seeing this stoic man unguarded. Beth would be forever grateful that he’d initiated this discussion with her.

  When he met her gaze, wisdom earned through patience, passion, and experience shone in his face. She felt closer to him in that moment than she ever had and ever would again. “Beth, I look at you and all you’ve gone through, how you stuck up for yourself and triumphed, and I think what an inspiration you are. You had your own nickname thrust upon you—Elizabeth Sutton—yet you didn’t conform to it. You owned it. You made it adapt to who you really are.

  “Then there’s Aidan.” Kazan’s grin returned. “That goddamn kid brought down one of the most powerful men in the entire world—albeit, not in the best way—but still, he proved Luther wasn’t invincible and set the ball in motion for drastic changes in the industry, including a system in favor of the performers, not executives sitting in corner offices pretending they know what it’s
like to film a movie. He did what I wanted to do back in ’52 when I was battling Luther over Viva Zapata. He stood up to him. Meanwhile, I ran off to Paris.”

  “But you never let Mr. Mertz control you, Mr. Kazan. When you, me, and Mr. Stern were in his office the day I was informed I was cast in Golden Gloves, you put him in his place when he tried to tell you what to do.”

  Kazan rubbed his jaw. “Sure. But it wasn’t always that way. Only after I got that wakeup call from Steinbeck did I take action and change my ways. After I left Paris, I arrived in L.A. with a renewed sense of what I had to do if I wanted to be respected in Hollywood. I demanded to Luther that the Viva Zapata script remain the way I wanted it. And damn it, it worked!

  “But for so many years prior, I accepted my nickname and lived up to what others expected of me because of what Gadget meant by definition. I compromised and wasted so much time acting like a coward. I was a fool. My pupils at the Actors Studio have always regarded me as an authority figure, an instructor who knows all. However, Lee Strasberg, Harold Clurman, Cheryl Crawford—my peers, the people who were part of the crowd who gave me the nickname in the first place—always thought they were above me, even though we all started out in the Group Theater and had once called each other equals.”

  Just the notion that Kazan would be considered anything less than a brilliant director and teacher was incomprehensible. He’d taught Beth a lot in only a few months. And Aidan…well, Aidan worshiped Kazan so much he’d strike down any man who treated him poorly.

  Kazan was too modest to accept grandiose compliments, so Beth took a more subtle approach to sharing her high opinion of him. “The important thing is you learned to stand up for yourself and took conscious action to execute change. You found your own way after feeling frustrated with the industry and Mr. Mertz’s controlling ways. Meanwhile, I was forced to stand up for myself unexpectedly because I was thrust into a vile situation I never thought I would be in—one that I had to get out of even if it meant the end of my career. Our circumstances were very different. Your actions are admirable. Mine were the result of not having any other choice.”