Double Lives (Johnny Wagner, Godlike PI Book One)

by Matt Cowper

  “OK, listen up,” I thought-spoke. “I don’t want you to create a vacuum; I want you to destroy the atmosphere around Gale Force.”

  “I am not convinced that is a worthwhile endeavor for Dakroth’gannith’formaz. Destroying the atmosphere seems paltry.”

  “Think about outer space, Dak! Toss anything living into space, and it dies. If that’s not destructive, I don’t know what is. That’s what you’re doing: creating – erm – destroying so there’s a vacuum around Gale Force.”

  “Space is indeed hostile to life forms. I will enact your plan.”

  I could feel an unusual sensation in my God Arm. It felt like I was trying to squeeze it into a very small hole, even though it was just hanging at my side. My thoughts – Dak’s thoughts? – seemed to constrict, as if my mental energy was nearly depleted.

  “Dak? What’s going on?” I thought-spoke.

  “His barrier…it is too strong,” Dak said. His voice didn’t rumble like usual; instead, it sounded like a feeble echo in some underground cavern. I’d never heard him so weak. “I cannot do what you ask.”

  “Forget the whole barrier, then! Just focus on his head, or even part of his head! Hurry, Dak! Mardi and Vannetti are dying!”

  “I’ve toyed with you two enough,” Gale Force said, looking down at Mardi and Vannetti. “Time to turn you both into jelly. I’ll do it quickly, don’t worry. You won’t feel any broken bones or squashed muscles. I’m nice like that – sometimes.”

  Again, I felt the sensations in my arm and mind, but this time I could feel my God Arm pouring an incredible amount of energy into a spot around the supervillain’s head – or pulling away literal tons of compressed air, however you wanted to look at it. I didn’t know exactly how a god created a vacuum on planet Earth, but it appeared whatever Dak was doing was working.

  Gale Force suddenly jerked his head up. His fists clenched.

  “I feel…something,” he said.

  “It is done,” Dak said. “Strike him on the right side of his head!”

  I jumped up, ignoring the agony that rippled through my body. Gale Force turned to me, but before he could use his powers I clocked him in the temple. It wasn’t a superstrong punch; Dak had used up all his energy breaking through that barrier. My God Arm was just a normal arm.

  But I hadn’t relied solely on my powers back in my Daring Destroyer days. I’d trained; I knew how to fight. And while I hadn’t been a superhero in many months, some things stick with you. My punch, though “normal,” was still enough to nearly KO the wind-controlling murderer. He sprawled onto his back, grunting, and I moved in to finish the job.

  I kicked him in the right side of the head over and over, though my old sneakers didn’t offer my feet and toes much protection. I pushed the pain aside and kept driving my foot into his forehead until he lay there still and silent. Even though I was sure he was unconscious, I kicked him a few more times to be sure – and because Erna deserved some small measure of retribution.

  The air within the building was suddenly still. It was like we were in the eye of a hurricane. Then a soft breeze flowed through the office, one that was natural, not created by Gale Force.

  “We did it, Dak,” I thought-spoke. “You did it.”

  “Yes, he is defeated,” was his only comment.

  No gloating? No bombast? He really was exhausted.

  I limped over to Mardi and Vannetti, who were struggling to get up off the floor.

  “What in the name of all that’s holy just happened, Johnny?” Vannetti asked as he checked to see if he was missing any body parts.

  “Yeah, this creep nearly collapsed my building,” Mardi whined. “Look at the door and the holes in the walls! And the baseboard! He better be paying for all this – or you will.” She pointed a finger at me.

  I couldn’t keep from smiling. She’d nearly been turned into a piece of sod, and all she cared about was making sure someone paid for the damage to her ancient, moldering building.

  “I don’t think he’ll be paying,” Vannetti said, nodding to the fallen form of Gale Force, “since he’s heading to MegaMax right now. I’ll get my nullifier manacles from the car, and then call it in.”

  “Get the manacles,” I said, “but I need a favor. Before you cart him off, I need to talk to him. I’m working a case, and—”

  “Hell fucking no,” Vannetti said. “This guy is one of the most dangerous supervillains in the city. We’re not going to play around with him.”

  “My case—”

  “I don’t give a damn about your case. This is a police matter now.”

  “Listen, Vannetti,” I said, trying to temper my anger. “You remember the Captain Neptune murder?”

  “Of course. That squirrel guy done him in.”

  “Yeah, he was the one who threw the bomb, but it’s more complicated than that. Someone set him up, and—”

  “How is all this connected to a rampaging supervillain?”

  “That’s what I’m trying to tell you!” I said. “I’ve been hired to find out who’s really behind Neptune’s murder. Since I took the case, a lot of people, both the good guys and the bad guys, have tried to – dissuade me, let’s put it that way. That’s why Gale Force attacked me; he’s involved in all this, and he wanted me in a coffin before I unraveled this conspiracy.”

  “I think I get the general idea,” Vannetti said. “You want to interrogate this guy before the authorities get ahold of him and Damien Woodruff locks him up tighter than a tick.”

  “Exactly.”

  Vannetti rubbed his jowls and stared at the floor. After what felt like a decade, he sighed and looked me in the eye with his cop-stare.

  “Ten minutes,” he said. “And interrogation means you talk to him, Johnny – you don’t torture him.”

  “I wouldn’t—”

  “But you can take him into your office, if you want,” Vannetti said, “and I’ll stand outside and make sure you aren’t disturbed. And my hearing sometimes blinks in and out, so if strange noises come out of that office, I may miss them.”

  I smirked. “Understood.”

  “Alright, I’ll get the manacles, so this guy doesn’t cause any more trouble,” Vannetti said.

  “I still want to know who’s going to pay for these repairs,” Mardi said, wagging her finger in my face.

  “Come on, ma’am,” Vannetti said, taking her by the elbow and moving to the stairwell. “This is a crime scene now. You can figure out all that later.”

  “Take your hands off me, you tub of goo!” Mardi cried. I noticed, however, that she didn’t struggle too fiercely. If Vannetti wasn’t careful, he’d end up in one of her cops-and-robbers sexual fantasies. I’d seen them enacted with unsettling realism on the first floor of the building.

  I bent over Gale Force to make sure he wasn’t playing possum. Then I stumbled to the metal ball that was Erna Tuppingham, Mark-355. I picked it up and turned it around in my hand. It glinted in the light, and a few wires stuck out like multi-colored sprouts. Hard to believe an entire being, even a robotic one, could be reduced to such a small object. Then again, when humans were cremated, there was nothing left but a jarful of ashes.

  “Don’t worry, Erna,” I said. “I’m sure Jared can salvage something from what’s left of you, and fix you up a new body. And no, this absence of yours won’t count against your vacation days.”

  I smiled and set the ball down on Erna’s chair. Then I set my jaw as I turned back to the still form of Gale Force.

  “Hope you’re enjoying the nap,” I said, “because when you wake up, things are going to get a bit uncomfortable.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  The water splashed into Gale Force’s face, and instantly he was awake, sputtering and coughing. I set down the now-empty glass and watched him shake his head rapidly as he tried to clear his vision.

  “Hey there,” I said, waving my hand in front of his dripping face. “Did the sandman treat you well?”

  Gale Force blinked at me,
then snarled and tried to rise from my office chair. I grabbed his shoulders and shoved him back down easily.

  “You’re dead, Wagner. You….” He raised an arm, almost certainly to try and use his wind powers, but his arms were a bit heavier now. Nullifier manacles were locked around his hands, negating his powers. Gale Force stared at the high-tech handcuffs for a few moments, then the full weight of his predicament struck him.

  “You…these are….” he stammered.

  “Yes, they are exactly what you think they are,” I said. “You’re helpless.” I patted him on the shoulder. “You’re one of those supervillains who never trained at anything. You relied totally on your powers. Without them, you’re a skinny, weak loser who couldn’t fight his way out of a wet paper bag.”

  Again Gale Force tried to rise, but this time I sent a backhand into his cheek. The slap was thunderous in the close confines of my office, and it nearly knocked him to the floor.

  “Keep trying to get up,” I said, “and I’ll keep hitting you.”

  Gale Force’s lips twitched with rage, and his face turned as red as the blood he surely hoped to spill once he got free.

  “How did you beat me, Wagner?” he asked. “You’re just a Class D superhuman.”

  “Yeah, you underestimated me, didn’t you?” I said. “My God Arm can do some amazing things, if it’s properly motivated.”

  “Know this, Force of Gale,” Dak rumbled. “Dakroth’gannith’formaz will savor this triumph for many moons. You were possessed of great destructive powers, but mine have been proven to be far superior.”

  Dak, of course, had conveniently forgotten how much power he’d had to use to break through only a small portion of Gale Force’s shield. I wasn’t going to correct him, though; I was glad he was back to normal.

  I was far from feeling normal. Every muscle ached, and fatigue kept trying to grip me and drag me down into sweet slumber. I’d taken a few shots of Neo Jack Daniels to put some fire in my belly and loosen up my mind for this interrogation, but the effect was already wearing off.

  The supervillain glared at my God Arm. I’d removed my jacket and glove so Gale Force could see exactly what had defeated him. It was streaked with brown and orange; Dak was subdued and content.

  “What now?” Gale Force asked. “Time for some revenge? You gonna cut me, beat me? Get to it, then – if you’ve got the balls.”

  His tone was meant to be defiant, but his eyes were drowning in fear, and a nervous twitch was causing his foot to play a rapid-fire tune against my floor.

  “Funny you should mention balls,” I said. “Dak, like we discussed?”

  “I am going to enjoy seeing this man’s bloodline destroyed,” Dak said.

  My God Fist transformed into a short, black blade. I turned it around in the light so Gale Force could see it gleam. Then I ran the index finger of my left hand against the edge, wincing as a twinge of pain hit me. I held out my bleeding finger, letting a few drops of blood drip onto Gale Force’s leather jacket.

  “As you can see, this is very, very sharp,” I said. “I don’t have much time to get you to talk, so I have to get straight to the point – literally.”

  I jabbed the blade into Gale Force’s crotch and held it there. He gasped and squirmed, but I grabbed him by the neck with my left hand and held him down.

  “Don’t worry, I just nicked your pants,” I said. “Nothing down in man land has been hurt – yet. But if you don’t stop moving, I’ll lop off all your equipment with one flick of my wrist.”

  He stopped squirming immediately, and looked down at the blade with undisguised dread. No posturing or defiance now.

  I’m not going to be an accessory to torture.

  Yes, that’s what I’d said to Deathrain, but this was different. This piece of garbage knew something, and I only had a few minutes to pry it out of him. What was I supposed to do, ask him nicely to spill his guts?

  Dak’s words came back to me: Yes, your vaunted morals. They are so very pure, to hear you speak.

  Stupid fictional-construct-turned-god. Between you and Deathrain and Felicia….

  I refocused on Gale Force, giving the knife a little twist to make the hole in his pants bigger.

  “What do you want, Wagner?” the supervillain rasped.

  “First, tell me why you tried to kill me.”

  “You already know why.”

  “I want to hear you say it,” I said.

  “The Captain Neptune case,” he said. “You’ve been digging around. Had to get rid of you before you dug any deeper.”

  “So you know that I know that you were the middle-man between Squirrel and this mystery man.”

  Gale Force said nothing.

  “You need to say something,” I said, my voice low and menacing.

  “OK, OK. Yeah, I heard you talked to Squirrel. Figured he told you everything.”

  “How did you know I talked to Homer?”

  “C’mon, man. Supervillains talk to each other – we gotta stay ahead of the cops and heroes. Even the guys on Ironrock Island, they find ways to get information out.”

  Waverush had insinuated he had informants on Ironrock Island, too. The place sounded more and more like a sieve, not an impregnable prison.

  “This mystery man…who is he?” I asked.

  “No clue.”

  “I’d like a more detailed answer.”

  “Fine.” He licked his parched lips. “Here’s how it went: I have a voicemail set up. Anyone who wants me calls it, tells me what they need – kidnapping, extortion, whatever. So this Man in Black, this mystery guy, calls me, sets up a meeting. We meet down at the docks. He’s dressed all in black, has a thing that modifies his voice. I don’t have any idea who he was under that get-up. Says he wants to give Gray Squirrel a ‘funny bomb.’ Says it was going to be a joke to make both Captain Neptune and Squirrel look like idiots – not that Squirrel didn’t look like an idiot already. Wants me to get in touch with Squirrel, set up a meeting. I couldn’t make heads or tails of the whole thing, but the man was paying me, so I did what he wanted.”

  “The bomb…did you have any idea it was null-raxite?”

  “No,” Gale Force said, shaking his head quickly. “If I did, I never would’ve gotten involved in all that shit. Killing a superhero is like killing a cop – the whole world comes down on you. I know how the game is played.”

  I let a wry grin slip out. He obviously didn’t know I used to be a superhero; if he did, he might’ve reconsidered trying to slaughter me.

  “Why did he use you as a middleman?” I asked. “Why didn’t he just go to Gray Squirrel directly?”

  “I don’t know.”

  I moved the blade downward until I could feel it prick his inner thigh.

  “I don’t know!” Gale Force cried. “I only met him once, and like I said, he was disguised. Who the fuck knows what his motives were?”

  “You have some theories, though,” I said. “Tell me, or I’ll give you another circumcision.”

  “I think…I think it’s Befouler.”

  “Why?”

  “OK, listen.” Sweat dripped from his nose onto his lap. “Neptune was smuggling in some special plants for Befouler, stuff that grew down in Central America. Totally illegal here, but it sounded like they were the only things that kept him going.”

  “Kept him going?”

  “Befouler’s dying. He has some degenerative disease. Probably got it from playing around with chemicals his whole life.”

  I mulled this over for a few seconds. “Continue.”

  “Befouler was paying big money for all this, of course. Then things went south, and they ended their arrangement. No one knows exactly what happened. Maybe Neptune asked for more dough, or threatened to finally throw Befouler in jail, now that he’d milked him dry.”

  “You really expect me to believe Neptune smuggled for one of his greatest enemies?”

  “He smuggled for a few people,” Gale Force said, “none of them very nice.”


  So Woodruff hadn’t been lying. I thought back to his perfect smile and perfectly-tailored suit, and involuntarily moved the blade a few inches towards Gale Force’s reproductive organs before steadying myself.

  “Did he smuggle for you?” I asked.

  “No, I don’t touch any of that stuff – not even Overdrive Juice.”

  I didn’t believe that, but I didn’t have enough time to browbeat him on every point.

  “Why did Befouler kill him, if he was the one supplying him with the stuff keeping him alive?” I said.

  Gale Force shrugged. “Maybe his condition got worse, and he decided to take Neptune down to hell with him.”

  “This sounds like an open secret,” I said. “Wouldn’t someone have told the press and tried to ruin Neptune’s name? Or blackmailed him?”

  “A few people did, I think,” Gale Force said. “I don’t know who; I just heard whispers. But nothing ever happened. I figure someone was protecting him, someone big – someone who could get the press to kill a story or get the cops to ignore a clear smuggling trail.”

  Someone like Damien Woodruff, I thought.

  “Do you have any actual evidence that Befouler killed Neptune?” I said.

  “I…that’s all I’ve got,” he said. “We done now? I’ve told you everything.”

  I nicked Gale Force’s thigh with the blade, causing him to gasp and jerk in his seat.

  “What the fuck, Wagner?!” he yelled. “I told you—”

  “You’re holding something back,” I growled. “This isn’t the first time I’ve interrogated someone, jackass. I know deceit when I see it.”

  “Interrogation, huh?” Gale Force hissed. “This looks like torture to me.”

  In response, I gave him another nick, this time much closer to his testicles.

  “OK!” Gale Force panted. “That bomb…when it went off, there was a blue flash.”

  “Yes, there was, but null-raxite by itself always explodes blue.”

  “It does, yeah, but not that shade of blue.”

  “What are you driving at?” I said, frowning.