High Society Secrets

by Karen Booth

He was so infuriating. “Okay, but if you ever need help with her hair, I’m happy to come over. Braids are very traditional in Norway, so I know how to do them dozens of different ways.”

  “No, thanks.” He cleared his throat and averted his eyes. “I can figure it out on my own.”

  And just like that, Astrid felt as though she were back at square one. Apparently, she could only offer Clay so much niceness at one time. Too much and he would cut her off. “Okay. Whatever you say.”

  * * *

  Clay hadn’t meant to shut down Astrid’s offer to help with his daughter’s hair so quickly. It was a reflex. He would do anything to protect Delia, and that meant keeping everyone he didn’t fully trust away from her. What if Astrid came over and Delia became attached, and then Astrid flitted back to Norway or decided one day that she no longer had time for his daughter? Clay couldn’t subject Delia to that kind of rejection. Delia had already suffered the ultimate rebuke when her own mother had left them. He would not let anyone come close to hurting her like that again.

  “You’re a smart guy. I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” Astrid said. “I guess I’ll take my doughnut and head back to my office.”

  Clay felt like such an ass. Astrid hadn’t done anything other than be her usual sweet self. Why did he have to be so wary of kindness? “Thank you for that. It was nice.”

  “I’m trying to make our working relationship a little better.”

  Now he felt even worse, but he also knew that she was missing the point. The more wonderful she tried to be, the more drawn he was to her. And the more tempted he felt by her, the more dangerous she became. He would not put his heart on the line again. He couldn’t do it. “Don’t feel like you need to do anything outside the normal course of our professional interactions. It’s not necessary.”

  Astrid stopped at his doorway and turned back to him. She was wearing a simple black dress today, one that showed off her slender curves and made the deep brown of her eyes even more intense. He couldn’t see a single flaw in her, and he’d spent plenty of time looking for one, hoping he could assign a reason to not be so attracted to her. He’d failed.

  “What’s not necessary?” Tara appeared at the entrance to Clay’s office.

  “I brought Clay a doughnut this morning. He was just telling me why I didn’t need to do that.” Astrid shot him a look that was born of pure annoyance. It was so ridiculously hot that everything in his body went tight.

  “So I take it neither of you had a chance to cool off this weekend?” Tara stepped inside and sat on the small sofa in his office. Astrid joined her, perching on the arm and crossing her legs.

  Cool off? Clay needed an ice bath after even five minutes with Astrid, especially right now when she was distracting him by letting her black pump dangle from her foot. “All I said was that she shouldn’t go out of her way to be nice to me.”

  Tara shook her head slowly. Now he had two women displeased with him. “Grant and I talked about it and we think the only way for you two to get past your troubles is to spend more time together.”

  Clay’s stomach sank. “Wait. What?”

  Tara held up her hand. “Hold on a minute. Hear me out. We think some time together outside the office would be a good idea. You both work incredibly hard and we think that the stress of the Seaport project has likely been the main reason you got off to a rocky start.”

  “I think there’s more to it than that...” Clay wished there wasn’t such a distinct edge of panic in his voice. It wasn’t a good look.

  Astrid let out a frustrated grumble. “Did you have something specific in mind, Tara?”

  Clay was consumed by a flurry of silent wishes. Please no spa retreats or trust falls or anything involving a beach or Astrid in a bathing suit.

  “I was specifically thinking the Architect of the Year Award ceremony in LA. You should go together. It will give Astrid a chance to meet more people in our industry, and it will give you two a chance to connect outside the office.”

  “But that’s next weekend,” Astrid blurted.

  Finally, someone else in the room was willing to help him put on the brakes. “Exactly,” Clay said.

  “What’s your objection, Astrid?” Tara asked.

  “I need to find a dress.”

  Tara eyed Astrid. “You and I both know you will have zero problem finding a dress in time for you two to leave for LA. I’ll go shopping with you. We can invite Miranda and talk business at the same time.”

  Astrid lips curled into a smile. “That sounds great.”

  “This will be good for Sterling, too. Clay has an excellent chance of winning, and it would be nice if he wasn’t standing there by himself if he does.”

  Clay drew in a resigned breath through his nose. He had planned on going alone, but that was only because he was filled with existential dread over the ceremony. He desperately wanted to win, but he didn’t want anyone to feel as though they needed to assuage his disappointment if he didn’t. It was simply easier to be there on his own. “I guess I see what you’re saying.”

  “It’s settled then,” Tara said. “I’ll get my assistant to book an extra room at the hotel for Astrid.”

  “Okay,” Astrid said.

  “And I take it you’re all set with a babysitter for Delia?” Tara asked.

  “Miranda is taking her for the night. Those two adore each other, so it won’t be a problem.”

  “Perfect. I’ll let Grant know this is all settled. Where are we at with Seaport?”

  “We’re digging into the more detailed changes the city requested and coordinating with the landscape designers for their side of the project,” Astrid said. “I estimate we’re ahead of schedule for the next presentation in mid-November.”

  “Good. That will allow for any mistakes,” Tara said.

  Clay suddenly found it hard to swallow. He had made the crucial gaffe on site orientation for the first proposal. It had almost cost them the project, and Clay was committed to never having another misstep like that one. “It won’t happen again.”

  Tara got up from the couch and made her way for the door. “Still, it’s nice to have a little wiggle room.”

  Clay dropped down into his office chair, and he and Astrid sat in silence for several moments after Tara left. They both seemed equally stunned and unsure, as if Clay needed another means of feeling more connected to Astrid.

  “I wasn’t expecting that,” she finally said.

  “Me neither.”

  “If you don’t want me to go, I won’t. Even if you want me to tell Tara at the last minute that I’m sick or something. It’s your night and I don’t want to ruin it.”

  Clay’s shoulders dropped. Would this feeling of being torn in two ever go away? “I had envisioned being on my own, but it might be nice to have some company.”

  “Might?”

  “I don’t know, Astrid. I don’t know how you are in a situation like that. I’m already plenty nervous about it. This is a professional accolade I’ve worked very hard for. It means a lot to be recognized and I know I’m going to be pretty worked up about it that night. Maybe you don’t like being around someone who’s so on edge.”

  Astrid unleashed a light and musical titter that filled the room.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Clay, you are always on edge. Always. And I don’t know you that well, but I suspect it’s because you spend a little too much time in your own head.”

  She wasn’t wrong, but he wasn’t about to admit it. “What’s your point?”

  “My point is that I’m already used to handling you at your worst. And I’ve attended more award ceremonies than you can possibly imagine. I have no problem putting on a beautiful dress and walking the red carpet. I can do it in my sleep.”

  Of course she could. Her modeling career had put her in untold glamorous settings. Surely dozen
s of men had made their overtures to Astrid, and she’d had her pick of the lot. It was one more reason to keep his brain on this very narrow path he’d carved out for them—the one where they were colleagues and nothing else, regardless of his attraction to her. Clay didn’t know her romantic history, but he could imagine a long string of broken hearts in her wake. He wasn’t about to be the next.

  “And more than anything, I’m very good in a crisis,” Astrid added. “So if you panic or get too nervous, I’m sure I can find something to distract you.”

  He already knew she’d have no problem doing that. But maybe this wasn’t the worst idea. It was a work trip and nothing else. He could introduce her to some people, and it would be nice to not be alone after the winner was announced—good news or bad, he was sure he’d need a steady hand to hold on to. “Okay. As long as you’re good with it.”

  Astrid rose from her spot on the couch. “Of course I am. I like the idea of being someone’s insurance policy.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  Astrid smoothed the front of her dress. “I mean that even if you lose, I don’t think anyone will be feeling sorry for you.”

  Clay swallowed hard as he watched her walk out of his office. This was going to be a test unlike any he’d experienced in quite some time. He picked up his phone and pulled up Miranda on speed dial.

  “Hey. This is a surprise,” she said when she answered.

  “I was hoping you and I could talk one night this week.”

  “Sounds serious.”

  “I need some advice about how to ignore my attraction to a woman.”

  “No way. I’m not doing that. I want you to pay attention if you’re attracted to someone.”

  Clay sat back in his chair and cradled his forehead in his hand. “Yeah. That’s not going to happen.”

  Three

  Clay arrived at Miranda’s house Thursday night around six with his daughter, Delia, in tow.

  “My two favorite people,” Miranda announced as she threw open the door.

  “Aunt Miranda!” Delia exclaimed, bounding inside and into his sister’s waiting arms.

  Clay smiled as he watched the pair embrace. They had quite a lot in common, both with long dark hair, big brown eyes and of course, him wrapped around their little fingers. There had been a time, when he and Miranda were young, that he never would have dared to imagine such a loving scene in his future. The day their mother dropped them off with their grandmother, never to return, was the start of their treacherous past. The details of that day would always be murky for Clay, who had only been five years old, but Miranda, who had been only two, didn’t remember it at all. One thing Clay did clearly recall was the feeling of losing all hope, and the fierce need to protect Miranda at all costs. They’d stood there together, holding hands, looking at a stern and cold woman they hardly knew, who was suddenly about to rule their whole world.

  He stepped inside the foyer and closed the door behind them. “Delia, do you want to go look at the aquarium?” Miranda had a large tropical tank in her home office, stocked full of live coral and dozens of colorful fish.

  “Can I?” Delia asked.

  “Of course,” Miranda answered, laughing as Delia skittered off. “You want a drink? Somebody might as well enjoy a glass of wine since I can’t.” Miranda pressed her hand to her pregnant belly, which was only a slight protrusion. She was a little shy of four months along, so that would soon change. Single parenthood was another life detail Miranda and Clay shared now. Miranda had been about to announce the pregnancy to her husband, Johnathon, on the day he was killed by a line drive on the golf course.

  “No, thank you. I’m fine.” He wanted to keep a clear head when discussing Astrid, plus he needed to drive Delia home. “How are you feeling?”

  “Good, but definitely like my stomach is starting to pooch out. I already have a little bump.”

  Clay slung his arm around his sister’s shoulder. “I didn’t want to say anything, but...”

  Miranda gently elbowed him in the ribs. “You’re welcome to keep your mouth shut, mister. Come on. Let’s go sit in the living room.” She led the way, taking the end of one of the comfortable sectional couches. “So, you wanted to talk? We should probably do it now while Delia is in the other room.”

  Clay found himself feeling uncertain about discussing the topic of Astrid with his sister, but he knew he could trust Miranda with his life, so if he had any chance of setting his mind straight about this, she was his best shot. “It’s Astrid.”

  Miranda narrowed her eyes, seeming confused. “Okay. And we’re not talking about your work relationship?”

  “Yes and no. It’s a mix of work and personal and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

  “You’re going to have to be a lot more specific or I can’t help you at all.” Miranda’s eyes lit up as if she was putting it all together. “You two aren’t involved, are you?” she whispered.

  “No. We aren’t. But if our situation was completely different and if I didn’t have Delia to think about or have any worries about the past repeating itself, I might want to be.” He felt foolish to make that admission, like he was a teenager. Why did Astrid make him so unsure of himself?

  “Interesting.” Miranda sat back, seeming satisfied with the leap she’d taken.

  “What?”

  “I’ve been wondering when you would finally want to get out there again. It’s been four years since the divorce, so I guess the timing is about right.”

  “No. That’s not what this is. I am not out anywhere. Not at all.”

  “Then why don’t you tell me what it is?”

  He sighed heavily and just came out with it. “I can’t stop thinking about her.” He went on to explain that he was hopelessly attracted to Astrid, and not just because she was beautiful, but because everything she did only seemed to confirm that she was too good to be true. Clay reminded Miranda that he had fallen prey to that very idea when he met his ex-wife, Delia’s mom. Of course, Miranda had been there for the whole disaster. She’d helped him pick up the pieces. “I asked to be taken off the Seaport project, just in the hopes that distance would make it easier to stay away from her. But Tara and Grant disagreed, and now they want the two of us to attend the Architect of the Year awards together.”

  “I heard.”

  “You did?”

  Miranda nodded. “Yep. She wants Tara and me to go dress shopping with her. I’d say your plan backfired.”

  “Spectacularly.” He laughed quietly, trying not to take this situation too seriously. “You’ve spent more time with Astrid than I have. What do you think of her?”

  “You do realize this is an odd situation for me to comment on, right? She was married to Johnathon before I was. I see why men would be attracted to her, but I don’t like to think about it too much.”

  Clay could appreciate that he’d put his sister in an awkward spot. “Fair enough. I get it.”

  “I don’t really know what you want me to say anyway. Are you asking for my blessing?”

  “No. I was hoping you would tell me that I’m right to want to stay away from her. At least as far as anything outside our professional relationship.”

  “Well, I don’t know her that well. I’d like to think that Johnathon would never have married a woman who was anything less than amazing and wonderful, but I don’t know for sure, and no person is perfect. Everyone has faults. And we might have mutual interests in Sterling Enterprises, but I don’t trust her unconditionally.”

  Somehow, these negatives weren’t nearly the comfort Clay had hoped they might be. “Okay. That’s good to know.”

  “But...”

  Clay hadn’t bargained on a but.

  “I do trust her somewhat,” Miranda continued. “There’s something about her that makes you want to give her whatever she asks for.”

 
It was as if his sister had pulled the words straight out of his mouth. “Yes. How does she do that?”

  “I don’t know. Although I will say that she has a good heart. She had every reason to be horribly jealous of my pregnancy. She and Johnathon suffered through years of infertility. That’s what drove them apart.”

  “It did?” This was the first he’d heard about the conditions under which Johnathon and Astrid had split up.

  “Yes. She wanted a baby with Johnathon and I’m the one who got what she didn’t.” Miranda’s sights fell to her belly.

  “I had no idea.”

  “She doesn’t exactly go around chatting about that part of her life. She might be very open, but some things are too painful to share.” Miranda sat a little straighter and reached for Clay’s hand. “She’s been very sweet to me about the baby. She didn’t even hesitate to congratulate me when she found out. That takes a big heart. And I’d like to think that anyone with such a generous nature would be a good person to fall in love with.”

  Clay nearly laughed. “That’s a pretty big leap. I’m not going to fall in love with Astrid. I’m just not. That’s not in the cards for me.”

  “Why not? Why do you keep clinging to this idea that you’ll never find love again? It makes me so sad.”

  “Daddy,” Delia called from the other room. “Come watch the fish with me and do the thing where you make the funny voices.”

  Clay gestured over his shoulder with a nod. “That’s why. Delia is my life. I can’t let a woman come into our lives and get close to her and then leave again. It wouldn’t just kill me, it would hurt her. I need to worry about her, too.”

  “I still think you have to take that risk at some point. If you’re going to have a full life, you might need to take the leap.”

  “You, Delia, and my job are my life. That’s enough for me. There’s no reason to get my heart squashed again.” He got up from the couch, but Miranda stuck out her leg to stop him.

  “Hold on a second.”

  “What?”

  “I just want you to promise me one thing.”