The War Priest

by Ann Aguirre

“You’re saying it’s cowardice and self-preservation more than true evil. But I’d argue that the two are the same.”

  “I don’t know if I’d be brave enough to say, ‘No, I’m not doing this’, if I’d grown up beneath Tycho’s boot. That doctrine of unquestioning obedience seems like it’s beaten into the Gols from birth.”

  Callum eased her out to arm’s length, giving her the glower that he normally reserved for everyone else. “If you’re trying to make me sympathize with soldiers who just slaughtered my people—”

  “I’m not,” she cut in. “You didn’t let me finish.”

  “Sorry.” He briefly cupped her cheek and then thumbed away the traces of her tears. “Continue.”

  “The soldiers were talking about Alastor’s offer of clemency. Apparently some have deserted the loyalist army and are headed for Hallowell to join the resistance. Five this week, they said.”

  “That’s not many.”

  “Exactly. If they all chose not to fight, the war would be over. Instead, they’re choosing oppression. And even if it’s out of fear, they’re still responsible for those choices. I wasn’t implying it’s not their fault. They couldn’t help what they were taught in Golgerra, but they knew it was wrong when they razed Bright’s Landing, and they did it anyway.”

  “What are you trying to say, kit?”

  “We find a way to destroy them. No matter the cost.” Joss knew exactly what she was proposing when she made that declaration and by the grim awareness in his hazel eyes, Callum did too.

  “I won’t waver, kit. We’ll see it done. Together.”

  Anguish didn’t begin to cover the emotion that excoriated Callum moment by moment. Cousin Phelan, all his children. Burned alive. It was an excruciating way for an Animari to die, as their accelerated healing tried to compensate, prolonging the pain until death became inevitable. At least for the little ones, it must have been faster, not that it was something he should wish for. There was no hiding his pain from Joss and she hugged him, stretching up to wrap her arms around his neck and he wanted to lose himself in her. People were watching but he didn’t give a damn.

  Someone cleared his throat. When he opened his eyes, he found the abbot waiting with a bemused expression. “A moment, if you please?”

  This must be about the petition.

  “Go ahead.”

  “In light of recent events, I have no choice but to grant your request. You’re the only one left of Beren’s line. No matter my preferences regarding your spiritual development, I must do my duty to Burnt Amber and permit you to take a mate.”

  What he felt for Joss had nothing to do with duty, and he wanted this before the tragedy. He didn’t want it like this, because it had become biologically imperative that he reproduce. Others who overheard the conversation were already whispering about it. Goddess only knew what they’d be saying by the end of the day.

  “Then I’m released from holy orders?”

  “You are. Though you are no longer counted among the faithful, walk toward the goddess as best you can and may her grace light your path along the way.”

  “You’re free,” Joss whispered, hardly seeming able to credit what she’d heard.

  “I’m yours,” he corrected.

  There were a thousand things he should be doing instead, but Jere was assisting the refugees while Trini and Emilia had sharp eyes on the footage recently arrived from the field. It felt like he’d waited a lifetime for this moment, though in truth he’d lost track of how long it had been. Truth was, he had been aching since he first heard Joss sing.

  “Do you have any pressing business?” he asked, low.

  “Right now? No. I have a performance in four hours, but until then, I’m all yours.”

  Oh yes, she knew exactly what she did to him with that tone and that look. She was all flirtation, but he had no more patience for teasing. Callum scooped her into his arms and Joss settled in, winding hers about his neck with a joy so palpable that he felt it as a shimmer of heat on his skin.

  As he passed, he heard murmurs of, “He’s chosen Joss, not Renna? Poor girl.”

  “It’s the smarter move,” someone else said. “Joss offers a potential alliance with Ash Valley while Renna is…pretty.”

  Callum caught a glimpse of Renna’s stricken face, and damn, did he wish they weren’t saying shit like that. Renna would be hurt and Joss would hate for people to think he’d chosen her out of cold-blooded pragmatism, based on what she could bring with her.

  But the fire in his blood, too long quashed, burned too brightly for him to deal with any of it just then. He’d die if he didn’t touch her, kiss her, join with her.

  The look on his face must have been terrifying because people scrambled out of the way as he headed for their building. He ran up the stairs and went directly to her quarters. I’m free, there’s no reason to delay anymore.

  Carefully, he set Joss down and took his hands off her. “Before I lose my mind, I need to make sure. Do you want this too? It will be tough to wait, but for you, I’ll—”

  A kiss silenced him. Joss, frantic, feverish, practically climbing him. Easily, he hoisted her and she wrapped arms and legs around him as if she couldn’t get close enough. Soft little moans puffed out of her against his lips as they stumbled toward the bedroom, still kissing, her hands roving over him with luxurious abandon.

  “Finally,” she gasped, as he tossed her onto the bed.

  Eager and hurried, he stripped, his clothes tumbling to the floor as she twisted and tugged, wrenching at her own garments with desperate hands. She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen, all silky skin and seductive curves. For a moment, he feared touching her because he’d never wanted anything to be good so much in his life, and it had been so long—

  “Come to me,” she whispered.

  A siren song that stroked his nerves. His cock was already hard, but that made it throb, visible to the naked eye. Sometimes he thought she could make him come with her gorgeous voice alone. Maybe one day they’d try it.

  Carefully, he eased himself onto the bed. His instincts shouted at him to grab and squeeze and kiss and fuck, but with his size and strength, he might hurt her if he wasn’t careful. While the Animari healed quickly, he never wanted to put any marks on her, not even in passion.

  “I’ll try to be gentle.”

  “Who said I want that? I just want you, Callum. You won’t break me, even if we get a little wild.”

  Those words unlocked the last of his restraint and he kissed her with ferocious hunger, pinning her with his body. The shock of her softness against his cock sent a pleasurable shudder through him, and she moved beneath him, arching her body to get more friction. His cock slid against her pussy, and goddess, she was already slick though he’d scarcely touched her.

  He tried to slow down; he did. Dusting kisses over her throat, nibbling at her breasts, but soon he was biting her, and she loved it, moaning his name in a throaty purr that drove him wild. I have to taste you.

  He said it or thought it, but she immediately parted her thighs and shoved his head with both hands, eager to let him have his way. Callum buried his face in her soft, salty folds and licked. Just like my dream, it’s exactly the same.

  “Yes, oh yes. More,” she begged.

  Only she didn’t have to beg. He wouldn’t move until she came all over his face. It had been a long time but he remembered what to do, how to lick and sip and when to slip a finger inside to stroke her deeply. A singer even in pleasure, Joss hit some high notes, her body arching as she orgasmed. Her thighs tightened on his head as she moved her hips. Callum drank her pleasure, breath coming in heaving gulps. He stayed where he was, licking and nuzzling her to two more climaxes.

  Finally she pulled at his shoulders. “I can’t…give me…”

  Softly, he chuckled, not even minding the insistent thrum of his cock. He had mild pain from the need to come, but he settled in beside her, cuddling her against his chest with the smell of her sex strong on him
. After this, there would be no more secrets. While he’d bathe, he wouldn’t try to scrub away all traces of Joss. He wanted everyone to know they belonged to one another, for as long as they had left.

  “You wrecked me. We were supposed to be together the first time.” She poked him in the chest with a hint of accusation.

  “We are together, love.”

  “You know what I mean. Don’t you want me? I mean, how—”

  “I want you, but I wanted to give you pleasure more. You’ll recall that until very recently I dedicated my life to service.”

  “Are you saying I’m your new religion?” Joss teased.

  “My faith, my hope, and the only goddess I’ll ever worship. Every night if you let me.”

  The sexiest sound slid out of her, part sigh, part moan, all music. “I can’t believe this is real. I’m afraid I’ll wake up alone and I won’t be able to stand it.”

  “Never again,” he promised. “In fact, I’ll move my things tonight. With your permission,” he added, aware that it might be too fast.

  22.

  Is that even seriously a question?

  “Go now,” Joss joked. “Get your stuff. Don’t even put on pants.”

  When it seemed like he might obey her, even with such a raging erection, she stifled a laugh, then she put a hand on his arm. “Kidding! Just let me rest a minute. We have unfinished business.”

  Her whole body felt like it was glowing. This endorphin rush filled her with blissful tingles, and she stretched languorously, kissing a lazy path along his shoulder. In response, Callum twined his fingers in her hair and tugged, not roughly, but not gentle either.

  “Don’t test me, kit. You know damn well how long it’s been.”

  “I don’t, actually. Nor do I want to.”

  She had some sense that a personal tragedy had driven Callum to join the order, but he’d never confided the details. Maybe one day he would, assuming they even had a future together. Ironic, her wildest and least likely dream had come true, but they might not survive the war.

  No, stop thinking that way.

  With perfect focus, she zeroed in on him, loving the way he let her look. For the first time, it wasn’t forbidden or wrong to want this—to crave him like the crescendo of an unfinished sonata. With delicate touches, she traced his features: his strong nose, his secretly seductive mouth, the wildness of his beard. His lashes fluttered as if he found her touch difficult to withstand.

  “All right?” she asked.

  “It’s been such a long time.” His voice was all gravel and raw hunger. “Please.”

  His need went straight through her, centering in her core, and though the ache was soft and faint, she wanted him. Again.

  This time, they would come together.

  Without further foreplay, she straddled him and steadied his cock with one hand, the other braced on his shoulder. Joss sank down onto his big, hard cock in a smooth motion, gasping at the shocking pleasure. Hot. Hard. So unbelievably good.

  She curled her nails into his chest, marking with shallow indents. No permanent damage, but he liked it, or maybe it was the way she moved on him, riding hard and fast, determined to fuck him so well that he’d forget there had ever been anyone else in his heart. Logically speaking, that was ridiculous, but the need rioting in her head didn’t make sense.

  Mine. He’s mine now. Forever mine. Finally mine.

  “Slow down, kit. I won’t last.”

  “I don’t want you to,” she grunted. “Want it fast and hot and uncontrollable this time. Soft and slow next time.”

  Callum bit out a curse. “As my lady commands.” Then tumbled her beneath him and pushed deep. Joss scratched at his back and bit his shoulder as he thrust deep and fast, greedy in his desire.

  She wrapped her legs around his hips, utterly open to him, but she wasn’t passive. Joss lifted her hips and tightened her pussy on his cock, each clench dragging a tortured groan from him, and his cock throbbed inside her in response. His body could have swamped her and she wanted him to, but even now, he was careful, holding himself up on his arms to avoid crushing her.

  I’m stronger than that.

  Joss pulled him down, and then his arms went around her, lifting her slightly, not even a whisper of light between them. He set his face in the curve between her neck and shoulder, his beard scraping her skin as he lost control. His hips went wild, and she couldn’t keep up, so she squirmed until she could rub her clit, trying frantically to orgasm when he did.

  Callum let go at last with a soul-deep groan, spurting inside her. She held him tight with her other arm and rubbed out another little orgasm, just a small fluttery one that let her milk the last of his come with her soft pulses.

  Joss shivered and went lax beneath him, basking in the joy of being his. At last.

  “I am utterly undone,” he mumbled.

  She touched him everywhere she could reach, petting his arms, his shoulders, his back, smoothing the sweat-damp hair away from his forehead. In answer, Callum brushed his lips against hers, and she tasted her own sex. Mmm. Delicious.

  He stayed inside her until he softened completely, and then he rolled to the side, settling her against him with easy strength. She loved the hair on his chest and his broad shoulders, and his thighs—well, she could spend hours licking and nibbling them.

  “Keep staring at me like that. See what happens.”

  “At a guess, we never leave this bed and eventually die of dehydration.”

  “Might be the way to go,” he muttered.

  “I can finish you off…”

  “Now I’m the one who needs a rest. I’m sorry, kit. I wanted to make it perfect the first time and instead—”

  “It was,” she cut in. “You’re so sexy when you lose control. Did you know you bite your lip when you come?”

  An actual flush suffused his cheeks, and Joss decided he had never been more adorable. “How the devil would I know that?”

  Her voice went husky. “I’m a careful observer, and I was watching you closely. Your eyes slide half-closed, your head falls back, and you bite your lip, just before you come inside me. Now everyone will know that I’m yours.”

  “Yes.” He was breathing fast again, and his cock was trying to rise in response to her voice. The shaft was still slick with her juices, head ruddy with fresh lust.

  “How are you doing this?” he demanded.

  “I’m just describing what I saw.”

  “Used to think sex was simple, a drive that I could ignore. I’m starting to think that I didn’t understand anything. I thought once we made love, it would take the edge off, but now…” Callum closed his eyes and shook his head.

  “It will get stronger,” she predicted. “Did you forget about what happens during the mating bond?”

  “Shit.”

  Mating frenzy. Since he’d been cut off from the sexual side of his nature for years, it might even hit Callum harder than most. In the middle of a war, that could prove inconvenient.

  “Try not to fret about it. Let’s simply take joy in each other.” Joss didn’t speak aloud her deepest fear, but he knew.

  He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger, raising her face as if for a kiss. “Things seem dire indeed just now, kit, but we’ve come through everything together. I won’t let anyone take you from me, not even—”

  “Don’t say it. That sort of vow challenges the gods to prove you wrong.”

  “Fine. As long as you know I mean every word that you didn’t let me say.”

  What Callum willed and what lay in store ahead might not be the same. Joss had lost so many people already; being with him like this seemed like a huge risk, one she couldn’t have resisted. Not when he was everything she’d ever wanted, wrapped up in one bearded, beautiful curmudgeon.

  “I know,” she whispered.

  “They’ll be talking about us. Probably going to say I chose you out of expedience, hoping for an alliance.”

  “I don’t care.” Though hone
stly, maybe she did mind, a little. It would be nice if the bears believed that Callum loved her, not that he was using her to get help from her people or was desperate for an heir.

  Shit. We should talk about that.

  “I do. I’ll set the record straight.”

  Joss shook her head. “Don’t worry about that. It’ll just look like you’re protesting too much to cover the truth.”

  “If you’re sure.” He kissed the top of her head, arms snug around her.

  Gods, what a lovely feeling.

  “Uhm. I was wondering…”

  “What about?”

  We just barely got together, I can’t believe I have to ask this already. “Do you want me to be fertile? Right away, I mean. Because—”

  “Hells no. Whatever the abbot said, if we decide to have children, it will be because we want them and we’re ready. Not because I need an heir.”

  Joss let out a breath in a relieved sigh. “Thank goodness. I haven’t even really thought about it, whether I want any or not.”

  “I want you,” Callum growled. “That’s it. That’s all. You’re my entire world, kit, and I will protect you.”

  Days later, that vow still rang in Callum’s ears.

  He was starting to understand Joss’s fears, however. With the Gol army on the move, he struggled to decide the best plan of attack, as he couldn’t let them obliterate another settlement. If he thought giving them the factory with critical parts missing would earn them any quarter, he would consider it. But when the Gols found out they had been tricked, they would take it out on civilians.

  A line had been crossed in this war, one there was no coming back from.

  He rubbed his head in exhaustion. The people of Burnt Amber had welcomed the survivors with generosity and warmth, but cynically he wondered how long it would last when they realized the hold was one week away from going on rations.

  Callum couldn’t stand to order the men to a battle they couldn’t win, but he couldn’t permit another massacre either. These truths circled like water in a drain, and he came to no different conclusions as the meeting ended.

  Hell. I just daydreamed my way through the first open forum.