Fan Girl (Los Rancheros)

by Brandace Morrow

  Deklan finishes that song then says, “They have another good one. Kinda goes with my relationship with Ali.” I feel my face flush and take a deep breath as he starts Nickelback’s Never Gonna Be Alone. I mouth the words and sway as he looks from the guitar to me, singing about never letting me go. The guys get into it with Tommy on the spoons and them all singing backup.

  Deklan raises his eyebrows at Jonny, and he says firmly, “Bon Jovi Have a Nice Day.”

  Peter nods and says “Yeah, man!”

  Deklan’s voice gets loud as he sings about the world getting in your face and everything not being black and white. Clearly to Jonny, it’s a song about being gay and not giving a shit about the people who judge them. Stacie and I get up and spin around with Sean and Jonny, and dance as the guys jam on the couches, and Deklan strums hard on his guitar. I see one of the strings pop toward the end.

  After the song is done, he puts down the guitar and asks, “All right, who wants to try the pool?” There are loud whoops from the guys as they jump up. Della, Stacie and I clear empty bottles of beer and Dixie cups from the patio as the guy’s head off.

  Stacie picks up discards while asking, “You gonna post that, Della? I saw you over there taping!”

  Della laughs. “Hell yes! I haven’t heard the guys jam like that in a long time. I wonder what brought it on?”

  I smile sheepishly. “They played a new song last night in the studio so I could hear it, and Dek saw how hot it made me. I guess that’s what started it.”

  Della whoops loud saying, “He didn’t seem to mind, honey.”

  I nod and Stacie gets close to me, so Della follows. Stacie says quietly, “I haven’t pushed you about this, but the man is a rock and roll guy. You have to tell me, just the two of us… the sex is unbelievable isn’t it? Don’t lie to me!”

  I roll my eyes. “Guys,” I try.

  Stacie interrupts me, “No way. You have to tell me. I’m your best friend.”

  I sigh and blush, then smile admitting, “You know how Chippendale dancers roll their hips all the time… well he does that. And he’s got this piercing...”

  Della yells,“Ack!” She covers her ears, then throws them down just as fast. “No, keep going!” We laugh at her and Stacie is waiting with bated breath.

  “Well, I call it the g-spot search and rescue. That’s all I’m saying!”

  The girls crow over this and then Stacie says, “Damn, I need a man, then Deklan can talk him into getting one of those. G-spot? Really?”

  I nod. “No shit.”

  Stacie rolls her eyes. “Damn you, girl. You don’t remember the first, painful time, then you get a guy that can get your g-spot? Un-freaking-believable.”

  I roll my eyes back at her. “Maybe it’s karma or some shit, I don’t know. I did have to wait til I was twenty-two to lose my virginity, and then I get knocked up. I deserve something.”

  Stacie looks at me incredulously. “Bitch, have you seen your house?! And you get a freaking rock star, sex god to go with it. Poor you. You’re having his baby… oh yeah, and you’re his wife!”

  I look at her disapprovingly. “Stop it. You know I don’t care that he’s a rock star or about this house.”

  Della holds out her fist to pump, which I do, as she says, “True that, sister! Tommy could be a mechanic for all I care. But he sure knows how to pound it out.”

  We laugh at her as she says, “Huh, huh? You get me?”

  Stacie says, “All right, since everyone is getting laid tonight but me, let’s take a picture and make some drinks. I feel the need to get drunk all of a sudden.”

  We pose with silly faces for Stacie, as she holds her phone out, then we get my KitchenAid mixer going.

  When we get out to the pool, the guys are in swim trunks. Hysterically Alan and Peter are in shorty shorts. Della grabs the iPhone and starts playing I’m too Sexy over the speakers, while Stacie takes pictures of the guys shaking their butts up and down, totally ignoring the tempo of the song.

  It’s not a bad sight at all. All of them have six packs and various tattoos, but my eyes are drawn to Deklan as he pops his ass. And he looks fine doing it, too. After the song, they’re all laughing and swigging beer when he walks up to me. “Enjoying the show?”

  I nod. “Hell, yes. I’m not blind. Plus I know how well you can move that ass.”

  He chuckles and starts mouthing the words, “I’m, too sexy for my pants, too sexy for my pants.”

  I push him away jokingly and say, “Stop it, I’m already riled up.”

  He straightens from his stripper moves and asks, “Oh? You girls talking about me?”

  I smile sheepishly and tell him, “The girls finally asked me about how you were in bed.”

  He gets smug. “And you told them how I make you scream? Remind me how that goes again.”

  He throws back his head and fakes an orgasm, catching everyone’s attention.

  “Asshole!” I yell before trying to push him in the pool.

  He laughs and grabs me as he goes in.

  Chapter 39

  The next morning all of my beds are filled with men who have hangovers. Since Nola and I are the only sober ones, we make a huge breakfast. When the guys drift into the kitchen and load up, Dek tells me they’re going horseback riding, even with headaches.

  Since I can’t ride, and have an interview to conduct, I stay home. Logging onto my computer, I look at the comments from some of the pictures that were posted. I haven’t had a chance before now, and I want to know what people are saying about me.

  There are a lot of 'lucky bitch' and some 'will you like my photos'. I do, because it’s not a hard thing for me to do. Just one click and I make someone’s day.

  I close down the computer when I hear the doorbell ring, and feel like I’m waddling as I go to answer it. There’s a cute blonde waiting for me. She’s young, maybe twenty, with long blonde hair and green eyes. I smile at her and hold my hand out. “Hi, I’m Ali. Please come in.”

  She smiles shyly and shakes my hand. “Darcy, it’s so great to meet you.”

  We go to the kitchen, and I motion for her to sit at the bar. “Can I get you something to drink?” I ask her politely.

  She shakes her head. “Please, sit down. Don’t go to any trouble.”

  I hoist myself up on a stool and tell her, “I need an assistant. Can you tell me about yourself?”

  She nods with her hands clenched together, then laughs. “I’m so nervous. Okay. My sister is married to a beef supplier here in the neighborhood. I graduated high school a couple years ago and have worked in a doctor’s office as a receptionist since then. I didn’t have money for college, so that’s what I’ve been doing. I live above their garage. I just want to do something besides answering phones.” Her eyes get wide. “Not that I mind that. I just want to do something a little more challenging.” She looks distressed by her answer.

  I ask her, “Do you know anything about me?”

  She shakes her head, confused.

  I smile and ask her, “Do you listen to alternative music or pop, rock even?”

  Darcy shakes her head no. “I listen to country mostly, why?”

  I lean back. “Well, I’m married to a guy who puts out music for a living. Have you heard the band Rolling Bridges before?”

  She shakes her head apologetically. “Maybe, I don’t know…”

  I tell her, “That’s okay. Better, I think. The guys would be a big part of why I need you here, and I think if you didn’t treat them like they were famous, that would be better. They’re just regular guys.”

  She nods her head hesitantly. “Okay.”

  I tell her straight. “Basically, what I would need for you to do is the detail work I don’t have time to get to. Right now I’m working part-time at my tattoo shop. I’m also about to have a baby and have a baby shower that I haven’t planned at all. There’s a reception coming up after the baby is born that needs planning. There will be party planners for all of that, but I also have to
live my life. There are public appearances people are wanting me to make. I just need to stay organized and am having trouble doing that myself.”

  Her eyes are wide. I ask her, “Do you think you would be able to handle all of that?”

  She nods her head. “I would be willing to try. I’m good at organization. I don’t know how to plan a party, though.”

  I hold my hand up. “You wouldn’t need to do that. Just get back to people with what I want, make sure things are confirmed. If I need something like dinner while I’m running late, that sort of thing. I don’t have any set working hours for you, though,”

  She shrugs. “That’s fine. I would be happy to try.”

  I smile at her. “Awesome! Let’s try it for a couple of days and see how it goes okay? Oh, my other employees are a gay couple, is that going to be a problem?”

  Her eyes go wide. “OH gosh no, I don’t care who somebody else loves.”

  I smile warmly. “Perfect. Let’s get you set up.”

  She agrees happily. I give her my cell phone number and show her the computer in the butler’s pantry. I tell her to set up an email, text me the address, then to research me and my shop, and Deklan and the band so she has an understanding of what the job would entail. I caution her about everything being confidential and how she would have to sign an agreement to not say anything about my personal life.

  The guys come in as I’m making grilled cheese for lunch and are loud as always. I see Darcy peeking around the corner of the kitchen and wave her in. “Darcy, guys, guys, Darcy. She’s trying out to be my assistant. This is Alan, Peter, Fandy, Tag, Bobby and my husband, Deklan.”

  They all shake hands and do that chin lift what’s up thing. Darcy blushes and shakes their hands. She’s taller than me by about two inches, but she looks so young.

  I tell the guys, “By the way, she has no idea who you are. Just FYI.”

  Bobby holds his hand to his chest jokingly. “How is that possible? I’m known around the world!”

  I laugh and push his shoulder. “Bobby is a photographer for the band, among other interests.”

  Peter says, “Well, I think it’s refreshing. At least you’ll only tiptoe around us because we’re hot.”

  All the guys bust a gut laughing and Deklan comes over to me and rubs my belly. “How you feelin', mama?”

  I nod my head. “Good. How are you, lush?”

  He smiles. “Advil cures all. I’m good to go. Reed should be here shortly, don’t forget.”

  I nod and turn to Darcy. “Reed is moving here. He was my tattooing mentor, but he’s family. I’m setting him up in my Malibu house.”

  She nods.

  I think of something and turn to Deklan. “Oh my gosh, babe. We’re going to need a company car, cell phone, iPad. We also need an LLC, do you have one?”

  He nods his head thinking. “I have one with the band, but we should make one for the house. Sean, Jonny, his mom and mine will need expense accounts and all that. We need to come up with a name for the ranch I just acquired.” He smiles at me.

  I turn back to Darcy. “I’ll get that straightened out. Why don’t you sync my schedule with your phone for now, while I get things set up?”

  She agrees, “Okay.” Poor kid, she looks scared shitless.

  I smile and let her go. “You can go ahead with your day. I’ll text you any info I need. Why don’t you show up here at nine tomorrow morning, and I’ll see what I have for you?”

  She smiles and shakes my hand then turns to the guys. “It was great meeting all of you.”

  When she leaves Alan says, “She’s cute.”

  I give him a stern look. “She’s a baby, and working for me. Don’t go there.”

  He holds out his hands and laughs jokingly. “Don’t get your feathers ruffled, Mama Thomas. It was just an observation.”

  Bobby puts his hands down on the counter hard and says, “Whelp. I have tons of photos to edit. Okay if I post them?”

  All of the guys nod, and I tell him not to make me look stupid.

  He rolls his eyes. “I’m an artist, Ali. Jeez.”

  I hold my hands up mockingly and mouth ‘So-rry.’

  I go into the living room as the guys head out. Opening my laptop, I start looking at how to set up an LLC. Seems like I should just call my lawyer and have him do it, but I think I’ll probably talk to Deklan first.

  “Dek?” I yell.

  He walks in with two glasses of orange juice, and moves my feet so he can sit down at the end of the couch with them in his lap. He hands me a glass and asks me, “Do you have any ideas for the name?”

  I shake my head. “No idea. You?” He wags his head from side to side thinking. “Shell something, what if it was a play on words? Like a song lyric or something.”

  “Okay, like?” I ask him.

  “Hmm, Shell Innovation, Shell Revolution, Shell B Mine?” he throws out.

  “Not bad. Shell B Thomas?” I toss my head from side to side.

  “Thomas in a Shell?”

  “Tom Shell?”

  “TDT?” he asks.

  “Shell Solutions?”

  “Distorted?”

  “I don’t know, babe. Shell B Mine Equestrian Stables LLC is super long,” I point out to him.

  He takes a drink and puts his head on the back of the couch, thinking.

  “What about Feathers and Leather LLC?” he asks me.

  I smile. Feathers because all of the horses have long feathers on their hooves and leather because we are almost never without some form on our bodies. I love it. “Love it, let’s do that. Now should I call my lawyer and have him set it up or how do we do it?”

  “I’ll call mine, then I can get Brittany to get the car and phones, stuff like that.”

  I stifle wrinkling my nose at his assistant’s name, but say, “Okay.”

  He pulls out his phone and makes the calls. I text Sean and Jonny to find out when exactly their mom is coming in. They text back tomorrow morning, so I put that in my calendar and start looking up cars online for his mom and Darcy.

  We pick new Ford Fusions in a gunmetal grey that’s really pretty. They get good gas mileage on the highway, so that works for me. Deklan emails the information to his lawyer, then texts Brittany and tells her to get together with the lawyer, whose name I finally learned is Paul, to get the cars located and all that.

  “What about your birthday, babe? What do you want to do?” I ask him. It’s three days away, and he won’t give me any idea how he wants to celebrate.

  He shrugs. “We can do dinner at home, or go out. I really don’t care, as long as I’m with you.”

  I smile warmly. “Cake? Friends?”

  He starts rubbing my feet and says, “Yes to cake, friends is fine. We had fun last night.”

  I nod. “It was fun.”

  “Sweet. Now that that’s done, can we go take a nap?”

  I look at him incredulously. “You don’t take naps.”

  He smiles, all cheek. “I’m practicing for when the baby comes. It’s code.”

  I laugh and take my feet off his lap. “Oh, so that means sex then.”

  He stands up and pulls me to my feet, steering me toward the stairs. “That means you get fucked, so march.”

  No need to convince me. I give a salute and march upstairs.

  Chapter 40

  Turns out we do take a nap after all. The next day Deklan, Darcy, Nola, and I wait in the kitchen for the boys to get there with Jonny’s mom. The plan is for her to get a work Visa, an American driver’s license and live in one of the spare bedrooms.

  We sit around chatting about getting a cake, or making one for Dek’s birthday, and what Darcy can do to help me plan this. Two hours after her flight lands, we hear the beeps that indicate the gate to the property is being opened.

  Nola and I went and got lunch for everyone at the farmer’s market earlier, but have been waiting for Sean, Jonny, and his mom to get here to eat. Deklan straightens from leaning on the counter. “Than
k God,” he murmurs.

  Nola elbows him and nods her head to me. “If you’re hungry, you should think about your pregnant wife, son!”

  I wave her off. “I’ve been eating grapes and cheese this whole time. Don’t worry about me.”

  Jonny and Sean park their little Honda at the garage and walk in the side door. Sean comes first with a huge suitcase and holds the door for a short woman with dark brown hair in a bun, then Jonny trails behind her with another suitcase.

  She smiles and holds out her hand for us as she enters the kitchen. “Well, hello! Is this the Thomas clan, then?”

  We all smile at her. Darcy is closest, so she introduces herself first. “Hello, Mrs. Hughes. I’m Darcy, Ali’s assistant.”

  Deklan steps in next. “Hi, I’m Deklan. Thank you for coming.”

  Nola rounds the island to get to her. “I’m Nola, Deklan’s mother and soon to be Nanny.”

  I take the longest, because I have to get off of the bar stool and it’s a process with my belly in the way. “Mrs. Hughes, we are so happy to have you! I’m Ali, Deklan’s wife.”

  She shakes my hand, then holds her hands out to touch my belly, asking first, “May I?”

  I nod. It’s still weird for people to be touching me all the time. Especially when they’re strangers.

  She sets her hands lightly on either side of my stomach and looks at me with a wide smile and twinkling blue eyes. “Aye, this is a strong one! Girl, I think. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be with me boy, darlin'.”

  My eyes go wide. “It is a girl! Teagan Delaney.”

  “Oh, a beautiful name. She’ll be a belle, that’s for certain,” she says with confidence.

  I love those Irish accents. Everything sounds better. I tell her, “Thank you, ma’am. I hope your flights were okay.”

  She smiles. “Long, that’s what they were. But oh so worth it. I haven’t seen my Jonny in years.”

  Jonny puts his arm around her and squeezes. She looks up at him with love in her eyes. Jonny tells us, “We’ve two more suitcases to unload. Mum, why don’t you take a seat for a tick while we bring them in?”