Palace of Tears

by Anna King

  Both young men had had their hair cropped so short that their heads looked only one step away from baldness, but it was the uniform that had completely transformed them, from the small lads who had seemed to be for ever in and out of her parlour when Emily was still at home into grown men. They were wearing tight-fitting khaki uniforms, with puttees wound around their calves from the tips of their highly polished boots, and their peaked caps held self-consciously by the tips of their fingers.

  Then Tommy, his eyes alight with mischief, came towards Nellie, smiling.

  ‘How about getting your glad rags on and coming with us, Mrs Ford? I’ve always fancied going out with an older woman.’

  Despite herself, Nellie laughed out loud. Looking into the deep blue eyes of Tommy Carter, eyes that were filled with kindness, she felt suddenly young again. Flapping her arm at him she cried happily, ‘Get along with you. Why, you’d run a mile if I was to take you up on that offer.’

  Emily watched the happy banter, her own lips spreading into a grin of delighted amazement. Wiry, her mum was flirting with Tommy, and he, the cheeky devil, was playing up to her.

  Oh, it was good to see her mum happy. She looked ten years younger at this minute. With a sudden shock Emily realised just how pretty her mother was. Or could be, if her dad wasn’t around to put added years on her. There came to Emily then an overwhelming determination to make sure that her mother was never hurt again, even if it meant turning her dad over to the authorities. She was surprised to realise that she could consider such an action without any compunction on her part. For years he had made her mother’s life a misery. Now it was time he had a taste of his own medicine; it was no more than he deserved.

  When the door closed after them, Nellie stared long into the fire, the smile still in evidence on her face. He was a nice lad, that Tommy Carter, and kind. His brother Andrew was nice too, but in a quieter sort of way. But Tommy… Well, he’d broken a few hearts in his time, and without even trying. For a few moments she thought of Ida Carter, and wondered how any mother could treat her child as she treated her son. Then she shrugged.

  She had enough troubles of her own without taking on anyone else’s. As she bent to her sewing, she saw again those mischievous eyes, which had taken her back all those years, and found herself humming a tune beneath her breath.

  Chapter Six

  ‘Look, if you don’t want to go out, just say so. I don’t mind staying in with your mum.’ Tommy Carter, his face sombre now, looked to his brother and Doris for support. ‘We could get some drinks from the off-licence, and later on go out to the chip shop.’

  Emily was quick to see the look of disappointment that flashed across Doris’s face. Her friend had gone to considerable pains for this evening out. She was wearing a royal blue coat, which Emily hadn’t seen her in before, and had carefully arranged her hair beneath a wide-brimmed beige hat. She had also applied a liberal amount of face powder in an attempt to disguise the yellowish tinge of her skin. It was a brave effort on Doris’s part and told Emily, more clearly than any words, that her friend wasn’t as inured to spiteful remarks as she made out. Anxious not to spoil their night, Emily hastily reassured them.

  ‘No, it’s all right. I mean it’s good of you to offer, but she’ll only feel guilty if we stay in with her.’ Nibbling at her bottom lip she said, ‘Look, just wait a minute while I see if Mrs Button can come in and keep Mum company while we’re out. Lenny will probably be home soon, but I can’t depend on him, and I’d feel easier in my mind if I knew she had someone with her.’

  Flashing a reassuring smile at Doris, Emily quickly knocked at the house next door, and after a few words with her neighbour she came back to the small group.

  ‘There, I said it wouldn’t take long,’ she smiled in relief. ‘Only it wasn’t any use me going out if I was going to spend the whole evening worrying. It would have spoiled the evening for everyone.’

  They were at the end of the road when they saw the tram. Quickening their steps, they hurried to the tram-stop, with Doris waving her arms frantically to attract the attention of the conductor. Laughing and out of breath, the four clambered onto the platform, then, seeing that the bottom deck was full, they climbed the spiral stairs to the top deck of the tram.

  ‘Phew, that was close.’ Doris flopped down onto the slatted wooden bench, pulling Emily with her. Craning her head, she turned to the two young men seated behind them. ‘D’yer know who’s on tonight?’ she asked, her glance flitting from one to the other. Then she let out a bellow of a laugh, which caused heads to turn and brought a smile to the face of everyone within hearing range. ‘Bleeding hell, I can’t see who I’m talking to under them hats. It’s a wonder you ain’t black and blue from walking into lampposts with those things on yer bonces. If all our soldiers wear them in battle, and the Germans have their funny helmets on, it’ll be like playing blind man’s bluff.’

  This remark brought a loud burst of laughter from her now captivated audience. Encouraged by the attention, Doris spent the rest of the short journey entertaining her friends and the other passengers. But when an elderly man, sitting at the front of the tram, called out, ‘Yer wasting yer time in munitions, luv. Yer could earn a fortune on the stage,’ Doris’s head jerked back, her good humour momentarily lost, as the man’s words painfully reminded her that, despite her best efforts, she had still been recognised as a ‘canary’. Emily was quick to notice her friend’s fleeting discomfort and took hold of Doris’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Poor Doris, Emily thought fondly, she wasn’t as tough as she made out, and Emily loved her all the more for it.

  When they arrived at their destination in Mare Street, all four left the tram smiling, with cries of ‘Good luck an’ God bless yer, lads’ directed at the uniformed figures, who smiled back awkwardly before steering the two girls across the busy road and into the foyer of the Hackney Empire.

  ‘Don’t they look smart, Em?’ Doris and Emily were standing by the kiosk while the men bought their tickets. ‘I hardly recognised them this evening when they knocked on me door. And back there on the tram… Well, I felt sort of proud and sad all at the same time. D’yer know what I mean, Em?’

  Emily smiled fondly at her friend and nodded.

  ‘Yes, I do know, Doris. I feel the same way myself, but we mustn’t let it show. They’re probably scared stiff right now, I know I would be. So it’s up to us to make them forget what’s in store for them, by giving them both a good time. Aw, give over…’ Emily pushed against Doris, who was looking at her with raised eyebrows. ‘You’ve got a mucky mind, Doris Mitchell. You know perfectly well what I mean.’

  ‘What’s all this about a mucky mind?’ Tommy had come up on them from behind, a wide grin on his face. ‘Does this mean you’ll be sending us off with more than a goodbye kiss?’ Turning to his brother, who had bought the tickets and was walking towards them, he called out cheerfully, ‘Here, Andy, our luck’s in. The girls are planning to give us a good send-off… Ow, that hurt.’ The plaintive cry, and the exaggerated rubbing of his arm, where Doris had landed a well-aimed punch, caused more heads to turn in their direction.

  ‘That’s enough, Tommy.’ Andrew Carter, his face set with disapproval, had walked up behind them.

  The smile slid from Tommy’s face. ‘I was just having a laugh, Andy,’ Tommy answered flatly, all traces of merriment gone now as he faced his brother. ‘There’s no harm in that, is there? Because there’ll be precious little to laugh about where we’re going.’

  Both girls looked at each other awkwardly, then Emily reached out and pulled lightly on Andy’s arm.

  ‘Come on, Andy, and you too, Tommy,’ she appealed to them. ‘You don’t want to spend your last couple of days arguing, do you?’ Staring up at the two grim faces, she sighed heavily and, turning to Doris, said impatiently, ‘This reminds me of when we were at school. Do you remember, Doris?’ She nodded at her friend, her eyes silently imploring her to help defuse the situation.

  ‘Course I
do. Blooming hell, it wasn’t that long ago.’ Jerking her head towards the two men, Doris said briskly, ‘One minute the best of mates, the next knocking seven bells out of each other. Well, all I can say is, yer ain’t changed much, neither of yer. And if yer going ter stand here arguing, then me and Emily’ll go and see the show by ourselves and leave yer to it.’

  The two men looked at each other guardedly, then grinned.

  ‘We weren’t arguing, were we, Andy?’ Tommy glanced at his brother for confirmation.

  ‘Course we weren’t. Just having a good-natured difference of opinion, that’s all.’

  ‘Well, all I can say is, I hope I’m never around when you have a good row,’ Emily laughed, relieved that the short-lived argument had been nipped in the bud so quickly.

  They were halfway up the red-carpeted stairs to the sixpenny stalls when Tommy darted back down to the foyer, returning minutes later with a box of Nestle’s chocolates and a bag of Clarnico sweets.

  The next two hours were spent in pleasurable enjoyment watching and listening to the singers, jugglers and an organ recital. But the highlight of the evening came in the shape of Harry Weldon, a burlesque character comedian, well known in the East End, whose anecdotes brought a pink tinge to the cheeks of the more delicate ladies in the audience.

  It was nearly ten o’clock when they alighted from the tram in Well Street singing an off-key version of ‘Bill Baily, won’t you please come home’, and ignoring the conductor’s aspersive comment that they couldn’t find a right note between the four of them.

  ‘What shall we do now?’ Tommy casually flung his arm round Emily’s shoulders, pulling her against his side. ‘It’s too early to go home. How about going for a drink? I’m gasping for a beer. How about it?’

  Emily looked into the handsome face only inches from her own and smiled. Swivelling her head, she was about to ask Doris what she wanted to do when she caught sight of her friend’s face in the bright glow of a lamppost. The smile wavered, then died on her lips. Doris was staring past Emily at the slender figure beside her, and the look of hurt in her eyes caused Emily to look away at the other uniformed figure. What she saw in Andy’s face brought her head down in confusion.

  Oh, Lord! Oh, dear Lord! She had known these three people since early childhood. They were her friends, her dear friends. She had never thought of them as anything else and had imagined that they felt the same way. But she hadn’t imagined the hurt looks mirrored on both Doris’s and Andy’s faces.

  The full import of her discovery sent her head spinning in bewilderment. Doris had never said anything to suggest that her feelings for Tommy were other than those of simple friendship. And Andy, the way he had looked at her… The pain she had seen in his eyes…

  Again she whispered silently: Oh, Lord, what am I going to do? Tonight had seen the end of a harmless friendship for, knowing what she did now, even if she kept her knowledge silent, things could never again be the same between them. And this realisation brought a deep sadness to her heart.

  Determined not to let the evening end on a sour note, she swallowed hard, put the smile back on her face and said brightly, ‘I’ll come for a drink, but it’ll have to be a quick one. I promised my mum I’d bring her home some supper.’ Moving away from Tommy’s side, she linked arms with Doris, while making a great show of stamping her feet and blowing her cheeks out against the cold night air.

  ‘I think I’ll go home, if you don’t mind.’ Doris pulled free from Emily’s grasp, her face showing no sign of the turmoil raging inside her. ‘It’s been a long day and…’

  ‘Whoa, hang on there, Doris.’ Tommy came loping up to her side. ‘We can’t go without you, can we?’ he appealed to Emily and Andy, who were now standing awkwardly by the kerb. ‘How can we have a laugh without you, Doris? Why, you’re the life and soul of the party, ain’t she, Andy? You tell her, she’ll listen to you.’ When no answer was forthcoming, Tommy screwed up his eyes, looking from one silent form to the other, sensing that something wasn’t right. Never one to keep his feelings to himself, he said, ‘What’s up? Have I missed something, ’cos you lot look like someone’s just died.’

  For the second time that evening Andy stepped forward, saying sharply, ‘That’s enough, Tommy, give it a rest. You never know when to stop.’

  Seeing that another argument was looming, Emily leant closer to Doris and, keeping her voice to a whisper, said, ‘Please, Doris, come for a drink with us, otherwise they’ll be at each other’s throat in a minute. We can have a talk later, but please, for now, don’t let’s spoil this evening.’

  Beside her, Emily could feel the tension emanating from Doris’s silent form and, knowing her friend’s temper, braced herself for the worst. Then she let out a silent sigh of relief as Doris, who had recovered her aplomb, threw back her shoulders and cried in her usual strident voice, ‘Here, what’s all this? Yer bring us girls out for a night on the town and end up leaving us out in the cold, and dying of thirst. If you two want to fight, yer can do it later or, better still, save yer energy fer the Germans.’

  The two men remained glaring at each other for what seemed an eternity, then Tommy, always the peacemaker, slapped his brother heartily on the back and grinned.

  ‘Come on, Bruv, no more arguing, eh? Doris is right, we’d better save our energy fer the Germans.’ Reluctantly Andy nodded, still not entirely mollified, but willing to let the matter drop. Then he gave a rueful smile at his brother, unable to remain angry with Tommy for long. With the atmosphere back to normal, Emily began to wonder if she’d imagined her earlier impression. But when Tommy made to put his arm round her shoulder, she immediately linked arms with Doris, to prevent any pairing off with either of the two men.

  By now the October evening had turned bitterly cold and it was with great relief that the four of them hurried into the warmth of the Kenton public house, just a short walk from their street.

  Being a Saturday, the pub was packed, so it was left to the two men to push their way through the smoke-filled crowd, with Emily and Doris following close behind. Above the sound of a piano, played with gusto by an unseen figure at the far end of the tap-room, and a rousing rendition of ‘My old man said follow the van’ bellowing from the well-oiled throats of the working men who crowded the saloon, Tommy shouted, ‘You two go into the snug. I’ll send your drinks in to you… Oh, what d’yer want?’

  ‘Shandy for me, please, Tommy. What about you, Doris? Do you want your usual gin and tonic?’ Emily turned to her friend, then cried out angrily as a burly man, much the worse for drink, cannoned into her. ‘Watch where you’re going, will you.’

  The man twisted his head to see who was behind the angry voice, the scowl dying on his lips when he saw the pretty young woman, her blue eyes glaring at him.

  ‘Sorry, luv, can’t hardly move in ’ere.’ Rubbing a grimy hand over his stubbled cheek, he inched closer. ‘’Ow’s abaht letting me buy yer a drink, sort of like an apology. ’Ow abaht it, darlin’.’

  Before the indignant Emily could answer, Doris had elbowed her aside. ‘How about you taking a running jump, before I call out ter me friends,’ she said fiercely, her head nodding towards the uniformed backs of the Carter twins.

  Following her gaze, the man’s eyes flickered nervously. Shoving his hands into the pockets of a grubby overcoat he muttered, ‘Sorry, didn’t mean any ’arm. Just being friendly, that’s all.’

  ‘Yeah, and the rest. Go on, piss off, yer dirty old bugger.’

  ‘Doris, there’s no need for that,’ Emily protested, immediately feeling sorry for the hapless man who had unsuspectingly walked straight into Doris’s line of fire. It was dear from the forbidding look on Doris’s face that she was in a high temper and had just been waiting for an opportunity to take it out on someone. And the apologetic stranger, who was now beating a path to the door, had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  Grabbing a couple of seats at an empty table in the snug, the girls sat themselves down, makin
g a great to-do of putting their handbags on the round table and fussing with their hats, while they waited for their drinks. Finally, when they ran out of things to occupy themselves with, Emily looked at Doris and sighed heavily.

  ‘Look, Doris, we’ve known each other too long to be messing around like this. I didn’t think we had any secrets between us, but obviously there’s something going on with you and Tommy…’

  ‘Leave it, Em. I don’t want to talk about it, all right!’

  ‘No, it isn’t all right.’ Emily leaned forward, keeping her voice low so that the other women in the snug couldn’t hear their conversation. ‘I had no idea you felt this way about Tommy until this evening, or maybe I imagined the dirty look you gave me back there in the street.’

  ‘I didn’t give you a dirty look…’

  ‘Well, it certainly wasn’t friendly.’ Emily waved away the protestation. ‘Look, Doris, if I’m wrong about Tommy, and it’s something else you’re angry with me for, then please tell me, because I’d hate to fall out with you and not know the reason why.’

  ‘’Ere yer are, girls. Drinks from the boys in uniform.’

  Tutting impatiently, Emily rose from her seat to collect the two drinks, studiously ignoring the wink levelled at her by the portly barman.

  Putting the glasses down on the table, she resumed her interrogation.

  ‘Well, are you going to speak to me or not? Because I’m not going to let it drop. I value your friendship too dearly to let it go that easily.’

  ‘All right, keep your voice down. I don’t want the whole pub knowing me business,’ Doris snapped. Picking up her glass she took a long swallow, glanced across the table at Emily’s determined face, then gave a low chuckle, but there was no humour in the sound. Placing the glass back on the table, she drew imaginary circles on the shiny surface with her finger, then sighed. ‘You always were a bossy-boots, Emily Ford. Sharp too – there’s not much gets past you, is there? All right, so now you know. I’m surprised you didn’t pick up on it before. Aw, sod it, what am I worrying about? He’ll be off soon, so it doesn’t really matter how I feel, does it?’