Falling For Him

by Khardine Gray

  “Tristan, get your ass down here,” I bellowed.

  “Woman what the hell? I’m in the dining room.” He called back.

  We wanted to go out for dinner but opted to stay in when Julio’s, our favorite Spanish restaurant, cancelled on us due to a flood in their kitchen.

  I stormed inside the dining room and stopped abruptly in my tracks with my mouth dropping in astonishment when I beheld the magnificent sight before me.

  He’d moved the furniture completely around so that the focus was on the medium sized dining table. When I left earlier this room was filled with clutter. It had things like his sports magazines, weights I’d been asking him to move for weeks, and only God knew what else.

  It was messy to say the least, but now it was comparable to a setting in an exquisite restaurant. A cream colored cloth covered the table and the silverware sparkled against it. There were two candlesticks in the table’s center with the white candle’s ready to be lit.

  The vision was even more enhanced by the fantastic view of the sea. He’d opened the double doors that led out on to the terrace. It was beautiful, and I was suddenly reminded of what attracted us to this place. Those doors hadn’t been opened in a little over a year.

  I started walking again, towards him. He leaned against the wall, rolled up the sleeves of his white t-shirt then folded his arms across his powerful chest. The movement enhanced his massive shoulders, and the cocky way that he stood exuded confidence.

  He smiled at me, knowing he’d diffused whatever anger I felt. That devil, he knew he had me exactly where he wanted.

  “You always do this to me.” I stared at him and tried hard not to smile.

  “What baby?” His deep silky voice held a rasp of mischief.

  “Make me switch in an instant from being seriously mad at you to loving you again.” I wrinkled my nose and shook my head.

  “Awww.” He clutched his hand to his heart and gave me a dazzling smile. “What’d I do to piss you off this time?”

  “You saw Brian and beat him up didn’t you?” Saying the words brought back some of the annoyance I felt.

  “Yes,” he replied with ease.

  “Tristan, I told you to leave him alone.”

  “Zoe. Oh Captain, my captain. You could have told me a million times and I would have done the same thing. When will you ever learn that I’m crazy that way. Anyway,” he cleared his throat in a dramatic way and widened his smile. “There was no way that I was going to allow that fucking pansy ass backwards, dickless dog to take advantage of you like that and get away with it. Hell, to the no.”

  I gaped at him, my lips parted in surprise because I didn’t think I knew anyone else who could fit so many insults in one sentence and do it with such ease. I was peeved that he intervened but, admittedly, I was also grateful. Grateful for the justice.

  “Did he speak to you?” He smiled that cheeky smile I recognized from when I first met him. It was his boyish smile. That was what I called it. I’d watched him turn into this renowned, powerfully built, godlike man that stood before me. But that smile would always remind me of the boy I first met so long ago.

  “No, he actually ran away,” I replied and bit the inside of my lip when he turned his smile up a notch.

  A deep hearty, masculine laugh escaped from his lips. “Like a little bitch?”

  “Tristan,” I scolded but had to laugh too when he started laughing harder. “It isn’t funny. You beat him up and he was scared of me.”

  “Good, maybe he’ll learn his lesson and remember he has a wife and kids the next time he thinks he should cheat. Baby, don’t feel sorry for him. Men like that deserve to be beaten to a damn pulp. Every last one of them.”

  Said the playboy who was also the chivalrous knight who stood up for the damsels in distress.

  “You are one of a kind Tristan.” Was all I could say to him.

  “I know.” He chuckled. “Come here baby, let’s forget that creep and have fun today.” He moved away from the wall and pulled out a chair for me to sit. I would indeed forget Brian. It was time to.

  “Thank you.” I smiled, lowering to the chair. “Shouldn’t I help with dinner?”

  “It’s done, I was just waiting for you.”

  More surprises. He rarely cooked but when he did it was always worth the wait.

  I watched him move into the kitchen and gasped when he came back with a tray with honey glazed chicken, roast beef, and spring vegetables. It looked divine, just as the other meals this man made. I had to hand it to him, Tristan could cook, and serve a meal that would give any five star Michelin restaurant a run for their money. I couldn’t cook like this so I was happy to sit here and be treated, my thoughts of Brian draining away.

  Tristan made one more trip back to the kitchen to complete our feast with a very expensive looking bottle of wine that only God knew how much he paid for.

  “I can’t believe you did all this.” I beamed when he sat opposite me. “Thank you.”

  “Happy anniversary baby,” he smiled raising the bottle.

  I giggled at the prospect of us finishing that. We were so crazy stupid when we were drunk.

  We had fun, and talked as always. We had a glass of wine each because the damned thing tasted too strong. Too old. Tristan complained, and I had to agree since it was over two hundred years old.

  It was night time before we knew it, and time to open our friendship box. We always did this part last as a treat.

  I got the box down from the cupboard in the study and brought it to the table. It looked old and battered with the metal mostly scratched. As I set it down a sad thought crossed my mind.

  How long could we keep this up?

  It was because of all that had happened over the last few weeks that forced me to think about the future.

  I’d hang on to Tristan for so long, too long that I couldn’t imagine what life would be like without him. I went everywhere he was and I knew the day would come when things would change. I thought things would change for us when I was with Brian. I thought I’d have to gear myself up to leave Tristan and start life. But leaving here, this house, would never mean leaving him.

  I guess in a twisted way that was one good thing about the whole Brian disaster. I got to stay with Tristan. He was the one constant in my life.

  He stretched his arm out to me and pulled me on to his lap.

  “It’s your turn to open it.” He said pressing his forehead to my shoulder.

  “Okay.” I opened the box and looked at what little envelopes we had left.

  God, that box used to be full. Now there was ten. When I picked tonight’s envelope, we’d have nine left. Nine more years of activities our youngers selves devised for us.

  He placed his arm around my waist and lifted his head.

  “I hope we go to Thailand.” He chuckled against my skin.

  “Tristan, you aren’t supposed to say. Did you put Thailand in the box?” I beamed at the prospect.

  “Maybe,” he teased. “But if we don’t pick it do you want to go in the summer?”

  I shuffled on his leg to face him. “Really, we can do that?”

  “We can do anything.”

  “Yes. I want to go.” I nodded excitedly. A vacation like that would be awesome, and definitely something to look forward to.

  “Then we’ll go baby,” he smiled. “Come on Miss Carter, pick an envelope, and God I hope it’s not something like eating a million sweets.”

  “That would be your fault Mister. I wouldn’t put something like that in there.”

  I grabbed the first envelope my fingers touched. The envelope looked slightly different to the others, so I figured it might have something interesting in there. It was a cream manila color with a smooth texture like one of the professional envelopes used at a prestigious business place.

  I opened it and took out the little note that would contain this year’s adventure. Excitedly, I unfolded it and opened my mouth to read what it said but sucked in a sharp brea
th instead.

  I froze, and my eyes scanned over the words looking at them with scrutiny and I almost thought the wine was doing a number on me.

  But no, I was sure of what I was seeing, and right there in the center of the note it said:

  We should have sex.

  When the true realization of the words dawned on me and I knew my eyes weren’t deceiving me, I leapt off his lap jumping up in complete shock.

  “What? What does it say?” he asked standing up too.

  My cheeks felt hot, and a mixture of emotion welled within me. I still held the note and my eyes found the words again, refusing to look at him.

  I couldn’t look at him. Not yet, because this was…well it was…I don’t know.

  We should have sex.

  It did say that.

  But…I…we…me and him?

  Us?

  At first I feel confused and like I can’t get my brain to focus, then I feel weird, then I feel…furious because I know I would never write this so of course it was him.

  He wanted us to have sex!

  I look at him now and want to scream because of the clash of emotions that well up within me, but something well and truly strange happens.

  I’m looking at him but it feels like I’m seeing him for the first time in my life. Suddenly he doesn’t look like the boy I used to know. The boy that makes me crazy with his antics and comforts me when I need him.

  Suddenly…I’m looking at him and I…

  I do more than acknowledge that the man standing before me is gorgeous. I actually feel affected by it, the way I would when I’m attracted to someone. Overly attracted to them.

  Then I was appalled at the thought.

  I was appalled that I felt this way and my cheeks burned even more with my stomach twisting and turning.

  “You.” I pointed at him.

  He looked at me in utter confusion. “Me, what me baby?”

  He grabbed the note from me and his eyes widened when he read it.

  Tristan’s whole face turned red. “Fuck…”

  I glared at him, unsure if that was an expression or a request. He returned his gaze to me, stared at me for a few seconds then looked me over from head to toe. It was the kind of head to toe sweep most guys gave me when they’re checking me out. It made me blush all over and I felt so hot my mouth went dry.

  “You wrote that…Is that what you want us to do?” I couldn’t help but ask, my voice heavy with something that sounded like fear. It could have been fear, but honestly, I didn’t know what I was thinking or feeling right now. I couldn’t pick my emotions apart and single out the one I felt the most.

  He narrowed his eyes then blinked several times. “Zoe, I couldn’t have meant it for you,” he stuttered.

  I didn’t know what came over me, but I felt my hand raise and I slapped him hard in his face, slapping that stupid look off his face.

  “Ouch.” He looked surprised by my reaction. “Fuck, what the hell.”

  “Can you please stop saying fuck?

  “I always say fuck, and you just slapped me. What the fuck do you expect me to say baby?”

  “Not that given the content of your note!” I balked.

  “I said I couldn’t have meant it for you.”

  “You asshole. Who was it for then?” I felt embarrassed. I can single out that emotion pretty much.

  “I don’t remember writing this. It could have been for anyone.” He tried to explain.

  “And put it in our friendship box?” I cried raising my brows at him.

  “Maybe I got drunk or something.”

  “This box is supposed to be for us, you and me. But you had to bring your skanks into it.”

  “Just pick another envelope,” he shrugged.

  “No. We always said one a year. If we just opened another when we came across something we didn’t like the value would be gone.” I pointed out.

  “True, and we also said we’d do exactly what the box said.” He widened his eyes again and had the audacity to laugh.

  “It’s not funny. All you do is joke around, everything is a joke. And everything is sex with you. You don’t care.” I couldn’t remember ever being this mad at him. Maybe it was because I valued that stupid box so much and the friendship we’d shared for so long.

  “Baby, it was clearly an accident.”

  I just rolled my eyes and walked away from him.

  “Baby,” he ran up to me and caught hold of my arm. “You know I care, all I’ve done is show I care. Come on baby I turned down several dates with a Victoria’s Secret Angel just to be with you. I could have gone out today, but yet I’m here. Trust me I care.”

  Everything he said makes me feel worse. Especially reminding me that he opted to be with me than the perfect Beth. I actually feel like shit.

  “Go,” I said pulling my arm free from his grasp. “Go and be with your model.”

  “No. Zoe, you are overreacting.”

  Am I? I didn’t think I am. I quickly scanned over my reaction and can’t agree.

  “You are unbelievable. I pull out a note from our friendship box that’s supposed to be for us, it says we should have sex, I think the note is for us, you tell me it’s not, you were thinking about someone else when you wrote the note, and now you’re saying I should basically be grateful that you turned down sex with your Victoria’s Secret Angel to be with me.”

  I can’t help the anger I feel.

  “Jesus, Zoe, you know that’s a twisted version of the truth.” He flared. “I mean I stayed with you because I care about you more. I don’t know what to say here, you look like you’re mad that the note wasn’t for you.”

  “Of course I’m fucking mad the note wasn’t for me,” I snapped.

  “You want to have sex with me?” Shock registers on his face and he beheld me with that assessing look again.

  “No! You idiot. The note shouldn’t have said that.”

  “I’m sorry. Baby –”

  “Stop, I’m done with you.” I frowned at him.

  “Done? Like how?” He looked worried.

  I couldn’t answer. Something weird happened to me when I read the note, and I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. I stormed away in silence, leaving him to his thoughts.

  Chapter 5

  Tristan

  Fuck. She was furious.

  Okay, I understood perfectly why and my attempts to explain just made it worse.

  I sat in the living room for over an hour hoping she’d come back, or come down from her room, but she didn’t.

  I was thinking about when I could have written the note, but I seriously couldn’t remember. I had no knowledge of this being written, much less what year I could have written it.

  I simply had no clue, and had to put it down to a drunken act. Also, I actually couldn’t be certain that the note wasn’t meant for Zoe. It was my handwriting so I knew I definitely wrote it. I used to get drunk off my face in the past and I’d do some crazy, but intentional things. Like speaking the true thoughts of my already outspoken mind. If anyone had a bad haircut or had gained weight, it would have been the worse time to ask my opinion.

  And I’d do things. Things like this note.

  That was why I didn’t drink as much as I used to anymore. It would get me in serious trouble, like I was now.

  However, I had to say that on the scale of trouble this was off the charts because it couldn’t have blown up more in my face.

  And Zoe…

  I didn’t know what to say to her to make her less mad.

  I cleaned up to take my mind off the messy situation, then I ventured up to her room to try and apologize again, but she was asleep.

  It wasn’t even that late, and normally she’d be up late on a Saturday night.

  I walked into her room and looked at her laying peacefully on her bed. She’d braided her hair to one side and a long plait nestled across her shoulder and between the crook of her cleavage.

  I looked at her, really looked at her
and somehow I couldn’t pull my eyes away. I always acknowledged that she was beautiful, always. But it was a truth that everyone would agree with. She was what she was, but had I ever been attracted to her?

  Looking at her now I couldn’t imagine why not, or how I wouldn’t be. I must have been to write the damn note, and be so stupid as to put it in our friendship box so I was sure we’d find it.

  It was a worry that while she got mad instantly when she saw the note I had the strangest feeling come over me. I was embarrassed for writing it, and that she was looking at me like I was some kind of creep, but in the same moment it was like I suddenly realized that she was a woman, a very beautiful one who I thought was perfect.

  I’d tried to joke and probably said the wrong things because I wanted to hide my reaction which would have appalled her even more.

  She was right to slap me. I crossed the line. The note was completely inappropriate and it looked like I didn’t value our friendship. Now I worried about what she thought of me.

  I left her room and went to mine.

  Zoe didn’t talk to me for the next few days. In fact I barely saw her. It seemed that she was either working or spending time with Rachel.

  I went in to work on Thursday feeling flustered and annoyed at myself and the situation.

  Gibbs noticed my demeanor straight away.

  “What’s with you man? You’ve been a real prick lately,” he asked lowering to sit on the edge of my desk.

  “Zoe.” I said in one breath.

  “Trouble in paradise?” Gibbs laughed. “You two are seriously odd, you know that?”

  “Why are we odd Gibbs?”

  “Because sometimes I can’t tell what you are.”

  I straightened up in my chair anxious to hear what he meant. “We’re friends.”

  “You could fool me man. I’ve been trying to ask her out since forever and you keep stopping me. You guys act like an old married couple.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “No way, that’s just what we’re like.”

  “Sure right, I might get that because I know but I’d bet you anything that a stranger would easily mistake you for a couple.”