Falling For Him

by Khardine Gray

  “I’ll pick you up at lunch,” he gave me a sly grin and I knew exactly why.

  “No, you can’t. I’ll see you tonight.” If he picked me up for lunch I’ll be coming back here. There was no way that I would be able to spend just lunch with him. Best to break the spell now.

  He sat forward and gasped. “Baby tonight? That’s hours away.”

  I turned and faced him trying to look serious. “Let me put things into perspective. You, you’re the multi-millionaire. Me,” I pointed to myself. “I’m the normal wage person. I need my job, or I’m screwed.”

  “No, you,” he pointed to me too. “You are my Zoe, mine. So what I have is yours. We’re multi-millionaires. So you can do whatever you want, stay with me.”

  I looked at him and gave him a small smile. I knew he meant every word of that. He was being serious but I had to be sensible.

  We’ve been together for a month, but we aren’t a couple. By his records a month is long for him. In his longer relationships though – eight weeks tops, I didn’t think it was longer than that – we’re approaching the stage I’ve seen him get to with previous women, and in a week or two I may be looking to get the boot. And, because I live here I may even get to see my replacement take over.

  There’s a reason why I haven’t been to his bedroom, which I suspected was because he wanted to keep it private. Separate from me for when this ends so it will be like he came to my place. It was kinder I guessed. So that I wouldn’t have any memories of being in his room.

  He hadn’t told me this himself. It was just something I assumed, and of course I would never ask.

  As for me I know how I feel.

  Rachel was so right when she told me to imagine being with a man who knows me completely. That was exactly what it was like with him. Tristan knew what I’m thinking even before I say it. He knows if I’ll like something and if I won’t.

  He knows me, and because he knows me he’ll understand my decision to go to work today.

  “I really appreciate that. But I have to go to work. The worse thing I can do now is make myself look unreliable, and jeopardize my chances. That new job will be a massive accomplishment for me.” I explained.

  He moves over to kiss me again and I savor the sweetness. “Okay, but please don’t stay away for too long.”

  “I should be back around ten.”

  “Oh God, that’s torture,” he winced.

  “I know but I have to finish working on my portfolio and I can’t do it here. You distract me.” I pointed an accusatory finger at him. I was a few weeks behind on it because I wasn’t able to get anything done when he was home, and he’s been here all the time. “Then I have to stop by Rachel’s for an hour to see how she is.”

  I’d barely seen her in the month I’d been with Tristan. In fact it was once. She quickly stopped by the school to bring me lunch and ask about Tristan. We spoke on the phone when we could but that wasn’t the same as a visit.

  “Okay. I’ll stay at work late then too. I’ll go mad otherwise.”

  I nearly said being without little old me wouldn’t drive him mad but I thought better of it and held my tongue. I was certain that if he was bored he’d have a pick of women lined up and willing to keep him company.

  I didn’t want to say that though and give him the idea.

  Another kiss was placed on my lips, making my worries vanish.

  “I’ll look forward to being with you later.”

  “Me too, with you.” I kissed his forehead and dragged myself away from him before I change my mind.

  I got ready as quickly as I could and got to school early.

  It was nearly eight. I liked the quiet the grounds had and I thought I’d grab some coffee and sit in the rose garden while I went over my plans.

  The summer breeze lifted my hair and filled my lungs with the sweet aroma of the roses.

  It had been a while since I sat out here, and being out this early was great. Most of the other teachers had lunch here. I only came out at that time if Gertrude wasn’t here. Just the thought of that bitch made my skin crawl. She hated me. I knew that a hundred percent but it was one thing to hate someone, and another to not let it get in the way of being professional.

  She was one of those people that just aimed to make life difficult.

  To get this job I had to make sure I put forward a better proposal than her.

  It really would be a massive accomplishment to get the job, and I wanted to make sure I gave it my all. Tristan had his trophies and his collection of awards. He’d made serious money from his talents. I on the other hand got my achievements and success from watching my students do well. I hadn’t been teaching long enough for my students to get to college and come back with their success stories. But I wanted that. I wanted that to be me in ten years, hopefully.

  I just had to get the job first.

  I took a sip of coffee and grimaced.

  “Yak.” It tasted bad. Too strong, but it gave me that jolt that twinged my brain and made me feel immediately awake. I can even focus, which was great because it means I could keep my Tristan obsessed filled mind under control.

  I rested my notebook on the table and start jotting down ideas. This week I was going to focus on ideas I had for the lack of interests I saw in literature. I felt it was down to teaching style. While I used a lot of online resources and made my classes more interactive, a lot of the other teachers didn’t. Maybe it was because we came from different generations. I would have the students read their books in whatever way they wanted which I knew was on their kindles and other e-readers. Being online linked us to online journals and the literature society would be right at our fingertips.

  We had some good teachers here but I felt that we had to modernize the way we taught and bring our techniques up to speed with what the students were used to. Some of the teachers loathed computers and actually said that they couldn’t replace the feel of a good book. I’d heard Gertrude and Mrs. Applebee in deep discussion about it months ago. That was when I figured that if anything would be against me it would be my pro modern ideas. However, since I thought it would benefit the students I was going to put it forward in my proposals anyway and hope to sway the board.

  I wrote down exam technique next because I’ve always thought we should have a separate class for that. It wouldn’t have to be a long class. Maybe an hour a week. I do this with my class too for the crammers. I hate to think of my students putting themselves under pressure. It was a given that most teenagers will choose to have fun when given the choice. It’s the age they’re at and no one can blame them for it. I felt that instead of making them stress out and worry we should be prepared for all eventualities and make sure that we have what they need on offer.

  I was about to elaborate on this point when I heard someone clearing their throat.

  I look up and see Gertrude.

  Damn it, I really don’t want to do our war dance today. I want peace and clarity of mind. I already felt like I’m sacrificing enough as it is to be here, because I gave up spending another day with Tristan.

  I looked her over, hoping this battle wouldn’t last too long. She has her usual ugh style today, but the salt and pepper colors of her hair are more pronounced against that turquoise blue dress she’s wearing. The dress looked like a nurses uniform, or an old school matron.

  “What are you doing here?” She asked walking up to me with a heavy scowl on her horrible face.

  “Working.” I replied in a flat tone. “Also drinking coffee.”

  “I’ve been sitting here in the mornings.” She shook her head at me with distaste.

  I look around at the other benches. Empty. There’s five of them all empty in the big garden and this woman thinks it’s okay to come and ponce on me for just being here.

  “I’m looking around and there sure seems like a lot of space to me.” I couldn’t hide the sarcasm in my voice.

  She looked instantly more angry.

  “You think you’re so spe
cial don’t you?” she balked, eyeing me up like I’m something disgusting she stepped in.

  “Not really. I just come and I do my job.” I was trying to stay calm. The last thing I want is to get into an argument with her. It wouldn’t be good because I wouldn’t hold back on putting her in her place. But, by doing so I’d make myself look bad.

  “Really, you think calling in sick so you can mess around with your football player is doing your job?” She threw daggers at me with those blazing brown eyes.

  I wondered how the hell she would have known that but then I remembered that day a few weeks ago when Tristan met me here for lunch. He’d kissed me when I got in his car. That must have been when she saw us. That was in the car park again, and I’d mistaken us being alone. I could imagine her though breaking her neck to watch us before we drove off. I could also imagine her being the kind of person to follow us, but she would have gotten a good view of us in the alleyway behind the park having sex in the car.

  “My life is none of your business.” I defended, trying to forget that image of Tristan and I in his car. That was a really good day.

  “It is when you are my competition. You are not suitable to be head of the department. You aren’t. I don’t know what makes you think you are.”

  Okay, now that made me angry.

  “My students all get excellent grades, better than yours. My teaching methods are better, and most importantly I work with the other teachers as a team. I want this for my kids. You want it for you.” It was obvious. It was true that I would be honored to be the head and I would see it as a big accomplishment for myself, and my career but if I didn’t think I could make a difference to the school’s academic goals for the students I wouldn’t apply.

  I wouldn’t apply for the simple fact that I would think I wasn’t not suitable for the role.

  I totally seemed to have hit a nerve with my words because Gertrude’s whole face went red and she looked like she would strangle me. I watched her rush up to the table as if that’s supposed to scare me.

  “You fucking bitch,” she snarled.

  I didn’t swear a lot. In fact, I seem to swear more than usual these days, mostly with Tristan, and in a purely sexual way.

  However, I would never use language like that on the school grounds. Gertrude did it with ease, like she didn’t care where she was, and she was loud. So loud her bellow scared the birds in the tree above us and they flew away.

  “If I could I would rip the hair off your head. How dare you speak to me like that. Fucking little bitch.”

  I’m angry at the way she’s talking to me but I won’t respond and sink to her level which is a desperate low.

  “Leave me alone please.” I simply said but she responded by knocking the coffee cup from my hand. It landed on the ground with a splash and some of the hot liquid caught my ankle.

  “That’s enough!” Came Principal Chase’s voice.

  We both look around to see her standing at the entrance of the garden with Janine her PA, and three other teachers who look completely shocked.

  I stood up and wiped my skirt where I can see drips of the coffee. It was a beige Chanel wrap around skirt Tristan got me two birthdays ago and I don’t want it to get damaged.

  I’m still wiping as Priscilla walks closer to us and the others walk in the opposite direction. It’s just the three of us now and Gertrude looks truly embarrassed.

  “What is the matter with you?” Priscilla asked Gertrude.

  “She started on me. I was simply defending myself.” Gertrude lied.

  “No that’s not what happened.” I quickly interrupted. I don’t need this shit. Not one bit, not any of it, and if Priscilla thinks I did start it then it won’t be good for me no matter how much she likes me.

  “I know Zoe. I saw everything.”

  While I felt relieved, Gertrude looked a hundred times worse for having been caught. It would have been better if she didn’t say anything because neither of us knew until we were told which parts of our conversation Priscilla heard.

  There was nothing funny about this but I laughed at little inside. Gertrude had been the one person here that had made my life hell. She’d made my time here unpleasant from day one. This was the first time that she’d been caught bullying me right in the open, and by the one person who could do something about it.

  It served her right.

  “I was…” She still attempted to talk but her voice trails away.

  I stare at her and shake my head but I say nothing. There is nothing to say.

  “You’re suspended for the rest of the week Gertrude.” Priscilla told her firmly. Like always there’s no emotion in her eyes as she speaks. Just the stern, no nonsense hardness of a woman in authority who doesn’t give a shit if you like what she’s telling you to do or not.

  Nonetheless Gertrude gasped and opened her mouth to argue. “This is ridiculous. How can you suspend me?” Gertrude argued, nostrils flared, hands flaring.

  “Hold your tongue Gertrude, and do not take that tone with me or else I will ban you from applying for the head position. I just heard you bullying another member of staff, using lewd and indecent language that any of the students could have heard. We have an image to uphold here and I won’t stand for any behavior that goes against it.” Priscilla folds her arms and stares Gertrude down. The stance telling her to take the punishment and go.

  But oh no. Gertrude had to be insistent. “Image, Priscilla, I have upheld the image of this school always. This woman has not. Weeks ago, one of the students heard a woman accusing her of stealing her husband. The students heard.”

  I felt bad about that, even though it wasn’t my fault. Priscilla shot me a glance, but it was without the harshness I expected. That made me feel better.

  “I shouldn’t have to explain my personal life to anyone here,” I started. “That was the day that I found out that my boyfriend was married with kids. I have no control over people and I didn’t in that situation. His wife must have tracked me here and confronted me in the parking lot. She didn’t care that this was a school, or who I was, or who heard what she had to say.”

  I felt awkward talking about it because while I was so over Brian, what he did to me was still the most unpleasant and horrible thing that had ever happened to me.

  My explanation softens the sternness in Priscilla’s expression and I even notice that Gertrude looks a little thrown.

  Rumors had gone around about me and I never clarified them because I didn’t think I had to. I didn’t want to talk about what had happened with anyone here so I guess people had drawn their own conclusions.

  “Thank you for sharing that. You’re right you shouldn’t have to explain your personal life to anyone here. It is none of our business.” Priscilla looked at me with sympathy. She then turned to Gertrude and the firmness returns. “I stand by my word. You’re suspended until next week. I hope that you can take the time to reflect on this and learn that there are better ways of dealing with things.”

  Thank God Gertrude had the sense to end it there. She cut me a glance before walking away and I look at her, staring her full on so she can see that I’m not afraid of her in the least.

  I watched her until she goes through the little wrought iron gate that leads to the car park. I then focused my attention back to Priscilla who is already looking at me. Her eyes have a warmth about them that I’ve never seen before, but I appreciate.

  “I’m really sorry for Gertrude’s behavior,” she pressed her lips together.

  “It’s okay. I’m sort of used to her by now, although today was by far the worst that she’s ever behaved.” It really was. Gertrude looked like she really would hit me today.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No, I’m cool. I was putting my portfolio together.”

  Priscilla looked pleased to hear that. “I can’t wait to get it. Zoe, let me be frank with you without being to forthright. Things look really good for you here. That’s probably why Gertrude
is always on your case. You’re impressing a lot of people.” Her eyes sparkle with interest and I couldn’t help but feel excited as to the prospect of what that means for me.

  “Really, I’m so glad to hear that. I love it here and I love my class.”

  “We can see that,” she smiled. “So, a word of advice. Lay low don’t give Gertrude any ammunition to use against you. I’m sorry to hear what happened with the old boyfriend, and I have no qualms about the new one but probably hold back on any public displays of affection until after the final stage of your application has gone through.”

  It took me a few seconds to process what she was saying. I realized two things, and a possible third. The first was the new boyfriend she referred to was Tristan. The second was that she must have seen us too when he came to meet me for lunch. Since I’d worked here Tristan hadn’t really come to meet me in the middle of the day like he did that day. Prior to that, he’d probably only been here twice. Most people here didn’t know that he was my best friend, and I knew that if they looked a little closer they’d recognize him for his football fame. Like Gertrude had.

  People recognized Tristan a lot when we went out. There would always be someone who remembered when he played for the Rams, or knew him for his current management of the Centaurs. The one’s that remembered him from his playing days were the die hard fans who would engage us in conversation forever if we allowed it.

  The possible third thing I thought about was thinking of Tristan as my boyfriend.

  I’d thought of him as my best friend for so long that it stuck in my mind as the label I’d give him. But he’d surpassed just being my best friend.

  He wasn’t simply that anymore and to class him as such would almost be an insult. How could I call him that when he’d become so much more than that to me?

  And…I wanted him to be more. I really, really do. But wanting more meant having to acknowledge the other stuff I was worried about, like how he is with women.

  “I’m so sorry.” I apologized feeling embarrassed.

  “It’s fine.” She shook her head and laughed making the ends of her blonde ponytail bobble from the movement. “I get it, and he’s gorgeous. But let’s err on the side of caution.” She raised an eyebrow.