Insanity

by Omar Tyree

  When she finally climbed out of bed to get him a drink from the kitchen, her roommate caught her and traded eye contact at the refrigerator.

  Jackie noticed the hot pink, silk bathrobe, revealing her roommates’ naked curves, and her luminous face of satisfaction, before she shook her head and grinned.

  “Girl, you’re something else.”

  “Yeah, you told me that already,” Queen reminded her with a devious grin.

  Jackie shook her head and mumbled, “Crazy. I pray for you.”

  Queen responded, “We all are. I’m just crazy enough to act on it.”

  Jackie walked away with her drink of orange juice, dressed in comfortable but unappealing night clothes.

  Queen eyed her broad back and wide ass. She thought, You need to pray for yourself. I’m doing just fine. And I got my whole life ahead of me.

  FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

  After seeing Lamar out the door, Queen called Bryant Thompson back on his cell phone.

  “So, you’re all dried up and warm now?” he asked her.

  “I’m warm and dried off, yes, but not all dried up, no,” she hinted, teasing.

  Bryant caught on to her meaning and chuckled. “Oh, now I didn’t even mean it like that.”

  “Well, just in case, you know, a woman has to speak up for herself.”

  “Oh, now you do that well. That’s one of the many things I like about you.”

  “Oh really? What else?”

  “You’re money conscious. You’re down to earth. You’re a go-getter. You have a lot of good qualities that I like,” he told her.

  “And not once did you even call me attractive,” she teased.

  “Oh, now you already know that. Otherwise I wouldn’t be this serious.”

  She heard that and thought about it.

  “How serious are you?”

  “Serious enough to call you back after the date, right? I could have waited a few days.”

  “Well, that’s just common courtesy, is it not? I mean, it’s only right to call and see if a woman made back in safely.”

  “Yeah, but that’s a two-minute conversation and not an extra call back,” he told her. “A woman may start to smell herself with too much of this good attention.”

  “Well, if I just got out of the shower, fresh and clean, like you said earlier, then why not smell myself? I smell good now, right?”

  Bryant laughed again, enjoying her easy humor. “You see that? You’re the kind of woman that I could talk to all night.”

  “But you wouldn’t because then I might start to think that you like me too much, right? Well, that’s all nonsense,” she snapped. “We’re not in high school or college anymore. Or at least I’m not,” she corrected herself. “I mean, but why can’t a man and a woman just tell each other the truth? I mean, I like you a lot too, but I’m not gonna let you take advantage of me.”

  “I can see that,” he told her. “And you seem like the kind of woman who would love her man hard.”

  She said, “Of course. That’s the only right way to do it. Otherwise, you need to wait and find a guy that you really like, because I don’t play that settling shit.”

  “Yeah, me either,” he agreed with her. “So instead of settling down with a woman, I look at it more like solidifying an all-in partnership.”

  Queen grinned. The man was taking things exactly where she wanted them to go.

  “I like how that sounds,” she told him. “But each partner should be able to carry their own weight into the partnership. So, I don’t agree with the idea that a man is supposed to save a woman either. Save me from what?” she questioned. “If my life’s not together, then why would you even want to go there? I know I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want a woman bringing me down if I was a man, just like I don’t let guys bring me down as a woman.”

  “Well said,” Bryant agreed. “But what about taking care of your man in the bedroom? Because I’ve heard a lot of horror stories about women getting married and then deciding to shut down the action after a couple of kids. That’s what me and my boys talk about all the time.”

  “Well, do you plan to stop giving the action? Because that can go both ways. A lot of guys start being lazy and stop doing the things that turn a woman on to get it. So keep your game tight like you’re not married. Tell your boys that next time.”

  Bryant chuckled, impressed. “Damn, you’re right. People get complacent and start taking things for granted.”

  “Yes they do,” she told him. “But then guys want to complain when you’re no longer feeling their vibe anymore.”

  Bryant paused and grunted, “Mmmph. That’s something to think about moving forward,” he acknowledged.

  “Yes it is. And just because you’re married doesn’t mean that the courting stops. So get your little role playing ideas together if you need to.”

  The man laughed again, charmed by her quick wit, as they continued to talk into the wee hours of the night. And when Queen finally hung up with him, she grinned to herself against her pillow in bed.

  “Like taking candy from a baby,” she gloated. She had the man right where she wanted him. But soon I’ll need to find out what his skills are like in bed.

  By Any Means

  “What educational programs are you talking about?” the supervising manager asked Queen at the Baltimore Reformation Institute offices where she worked. The young woman was apparently on a mission that morning, seeking money to return to school with.

  “I heard that certain companies are offering government-backed grants for employees who want to continue their education in fields of community interest,” Queen explained. “And since our office is a creative think tank for social programs to reform the inner city communities, I figured we should be able to qualify.”

  Sitting behind her desk, Deborah Peale looked puzzled. She was an African-American woman in her late forties. She imagined there were plenty of government programs in existence thirty years ago when she was young and the Civil Rights era was still in its prime, but not in the 90s with so many more opportunities for African-Americans to make money and pay for their own educations. So she grimaced and shook off the idea.

  “I haven’t heard of any programs like that through companies,” the supervisor responded. “Now, I do know they have government programs like that for school teachers. I just haven’t heard of that in our field of social work.”

  Queen had arrived bright and early at work that morning to have a private conversation in Deborah’s office. She wanted to catch her supervisor alone and relaxed before she was in the midst of distractions from the full workforce. However, so far, her efforts were fruitless.

  “And you don’t know of any educational programs?” she persisted with her inquiry.

  The young woman seemed adamant and pushy even.

  “No I do not,” Deborah repeated to her.

  On the outside, the older woman was calm and pleasant. But on the inside, she was an old school fire brand who believed in working your way to the top and not asking for handouts of any form. So how dare this young and feisty woman barge into her office early in the morning, thinking that she still deserves a handout for school in the late 1990s?

  The nerve of these young people and their feelings of privilege, Deborah thought behind her calm reserve. The free cheese line was over. It was now the boot strap line that moved you forward.

  However, Queen wouldn’t budge from the stand she had taken in the middle of the woman’s office.

  “Are you sure?” she pressed her one time too many.

  Deborah Peale took a deep breath and rose from the comfortable, black leather chair that she sat in.

  “I admire that you’ve made it to work so early this morning, Ms. Tillis, and I assume you did it to get an early start on your day. Now if would excuse me, I have some early work to catch up on myself this morning.”

  Deborah walked over toward the doorway and graciously extended her arm to show Queen out. Then she softly closed her office d
oor behind her, a model of civility. Nevertheless, Queen remained determined and fuming as she strutted away to her cubicle.

  “Okay, she just doesn’t know. But I’m gonna find out who does, you can best believe that,” she grumbled to herself. She was like a voracious miner digging for gold.

  She had been sitting down at her small desk station for no longer than five minutes, researching government-funded education programs on the web, before Nancy Kellerman walked in. A regal white woman with thick, curly black hair that was turning gray at the edges, Nancy was a project manager, a level above Deborah Peale’s position with the company, and she had always made herself approachable to the staff.

  Queen stopped what she was doing to watch Nancy walk into Deborah’s office.

  I wonder if she knows anything, she mused. It took but a second for Queen to decide to ask her. She waited patiently for Nancy to walk back out of Deborah’s office, plotting all the while.

  When Nancy finally emerged from Deborah’s office and made a swift right turn up the hallway, Queen took off from her cubicle to follow her. She was so focused in her goal that she failed to notice Deborah eying her through the glass windows that separated her office from the cubicles out on the floor.

  What is this child about to do? she asked herself as Queen zipped down the hall in hot pursuit of their superior. Deborah even peeked out her door to witness the young woman’s reckless exploration that morning.

  She shook her head inside the doorway and mumbled, “This doggone girl is just . . .” Let me see how far she takes this, she told herself as she continued to observe with scrutiny.

  Queen wasted no time with the woman, afraid of no one.

  “Hey, good morning, Mrs. Kellerman,” she spoke as she strutted up beside her.

  Nancy looked to her left at the precocious young employee and tried to remember her name. “Oh, hi, aahh . . .”

  “Queenie. Queen Tillis.”

  Nancy nodded and grinned, slightly embarrassed by it. Not only could she not remember the young woman’s name, but her name was a bit overbearing.

  Is that her real name or a nickname? she asked herself. Neither she nor Deborah had hired the young woman, but they both were responsible to supervise her. However, Nancy saw that more as Deborah’s job. So she wondered what the young woman wanted from her that morning.

  Queen couldn’t have cared less about the woman’s uneasiness with her. She would get over it. In the meantime, she still had a few things to find out.

  “Well, what can I do for ya’?” Nancy asked her. People rarely approached her at the office without needing something. It was all part of her job to address the needs of the staff.

  “I was wondering if I could speak to you for a minute.”

  Nancy paused and considered. Is this something that Deborah couldn’t handle? She wondered, My God, I hope there’s not some kind of an issue between them.

  Despite her reluctance, she agreed. “Sure, I have a minute. Step into my office.”

  They reached her larger office room at the end of the hallway where Nancy made certain to close her door behind them for privacy. Her office was at the end of the hallway, with a beautiful view of the Harbor and of downtown Baltimore where, Deborah’s office was in the middle of the cubicles.

  You can surely see who’s the boss here, Queen surmised as she stared out of the window at the beautiful eighth-floor view.

  Watching the whole thing from a distance, Deborah slipped back into her own office right before Nancy looked down the hall behind her and closed her door.

  Nancy took a seat behind her paper-loaded desk. “So aahhh . . . what’s the issue?”

  She expected some form of employee gripe and hoped that she could handle it fairly with professionalism and tact.

  Queen held her hands together in front of her face, as if in prayer. She explained, “I was umm, doing a little research on government-funded programs that allow qualified people to continue their education in the fields of social need, and I was wondering, you know, if anyone at our offices knew about anything like that for the Baltimore Reformation Institute.”

  Nancy took in her comments and was thrilled that it wasn’t what she had assumed.

  “Oh, okay. So you’d like to go back to school, you mean?”

  Queen nodded, “Yeah, and I’ve heard that there’s government programs that would pay for it.”

  Nancy nodded back to her. “Where did you go to school?”

  “Towson State?”

  “What did you major in?”

  “Social Services.”

  “And you finished?”

  Queen smiled. “Of course.”

  “Oh, so you’d like to continue your education?”

  Queen looked perturbed. I thought she already asked me that. What she thought I dropped out and didn’t finish? That’s typical.

  “Yes,” she repeated. “So, are we involved in any programs?”

  Nancy eyed her as if trying to decide how to answer her. “You do understand that you may be asked to relocate to another urban area after you’ve completed your higher education.”

  “I wouldn’t mind that. But you think there are other areas that need help more than Baltimore needs it?” Queen suggested with a grin. The idea seems unlikely. Baltimore was one of the most needful urban areas in America.

  “You’d be quite surprised,” Nancy answered frankly. “Sometimes the much smaller towns and counties need an awful lot of help. And with less educated citizens there to help them . . .”

  “Okay, so they do have educational programs then,” Queen cut her off and repeated for clarity.

  “If you’re really serious about that, check back in with me by the end of the week,” Nancy told her.

  “Oh, I’m very serious.”

  Nancy nodded. “Okay. Check back in with me by the end of the week.”

  Queen walked out of Nancy Kellerman’s office feeling like fresh new money.

  “I knew it,” she told herself with a pumped fist as she returned to her cubicle.

  Deborah Peale continued to eye the young employee after she returned to her work station. She then poked her head out of her office to call Queen back inside.

  Queen stood before the older black woman in her office feeling vindicated.

  “Yes?”

  “You didn’t just go and ask Nancy about some education program, did you?”

  Queen felt immediately defensive. Getting all that she could out of her opportunities was the American way.

  “Well, I’m serious about it. And she did know about some programs. She told me to check back in with her by the end of the week.”

  That was all she planned to say. What was Deborah’s angle for even asking her about it? Did she expect her not to pursue the information?

  Deborah sighed and slowly shook her head. “You know, sometimes we can push ourselves right into a brick wall and then wonder how we got there.”

  Queen didn’t have a response for her. She nodded and took note of the supervisor’s warning, but that didn’t mean she would stop or slow down her urgency.

  “Okay,” she uttered to fill in the silence.

  Deborah knew better than to believe that Queen agreed with her. The young woman was obvious hardheaded.

  She’ll learn soon enough, she told herself. I’ve been around here long enough to know how things happen.

  She nodded back to the young employee and allowed her to leave the office.

  Queen walked out and thought, Yeah, whatever. She’ll be in her same position for the next thirty years, IF they even allow her to stay that long. But I got other plans.

  FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

  Queen shared her recent work stories with Bryant as they headed to a weekend movie in the surrounding Maryland County. Bryant seemed surprised by it. He looked over at his hot date from the wheel of his black Mercedes and asked her, “You actually did that?”

  Queen snapped, “Yeah, she obviously didn’t know so I went to ask somebody who di
d. And now I’m hooked up.”

  Bryant chuckled and shook his head while eyeing the road. “People don’t like when you go over them like that, especially in corporate America.”

  “Well, what else was I supposed to do?”

  She looked to him for an honest answer, but Bryant didn’t offer one. He continued to smile and drive. His lack of a response made her more adamant about her decision.

  “That’s what I thought,” she told him. “You can’t wait around for people to make moves for you. That woman’s too satisfied in her own position to even think about me.”

  “Well, she’s thinking about you now,” Bryant joked and laughed.

  “Whatever. She’ll be thinking about me when I’m gone.”

  Bryant took another look at her. Queen was a proud go-getter who continued to impress him. “I’m actually surprised you even followed up on that. I thought you were only asking because I’m going back to school. I didn’t think you were all that serious about it,” he admitted.

  Queen studied him before she responded. “What, you thought I was a bullshitter?”

  Again, she waited for his response.

  Bryant shrugged and hesitated. “I mean . . . a lot of people talk about doing a lot of things.”

  She heard that and jumped all over him with sarcasm. “Yup, you thought I was a bullshitter. I was just asking to be asking and it didn’t mean anything. I’m just another pretty dumb chick to put another notch on your belt. And you probably thinking you gon’ get some good pussy tonight and then leave me stranded on the side of the road somewhere, just because you took me out to the movies, like, whoop-peee!”

  Bryant started grinning and couldn’t help himself. He didn’t know how to take the woman. He was not expecting all of that. She seemed to be in rare form that night. She was letting it all hang loose.

  “Naw, that’s not gonna happen,” he told her smoothly.

  “What’s not gonna happen? You not gon’ get no good pussy tonight?” she teased him.

  The man could hardly compose himself. Nevertheless, he fought to keep his cool for a good come back line.