Irresistible Refrain

by Michelle Mankin

  Bryan didn’t want my love or the action. He hadn’t come around since then and he didn’t spend any time with me at all unless it was with the band or in a group setting.

  Any remaining doubts as to where we stood were eliminated when I came out of class a few days later, following my usual shortcut across the quadrangle, and saw him with his tongue down Misty Rivera’s throat. Misty Rivera was one of the biggest sluts in the school.

  Get over him Lace Lowell, I reasoned with myself. He’s not worth it. But as the days turned into weeks and graduation drew closer, I’d learned that reason didn’t mean jack shit when it came to matters of the heart.

  I pressed my lips together and turned away from my reflection. Tonight wasn’t about Bryan. It was about War and me, and about going forward. War loved me. War wanted me. I was lucky to have him. Most of the girls at Roosevelt High wished they were in my shoes. It was time I showed him how much I cared.

  I glanced at the bedside clock and frowned. My handsome guy was late, over an hour now. I hadn’t realized. Why hadn’t he called?

  “Lace.” I heard Dizzy’s voice through the door.

  Finally, I thought as I opened it.

  Dizzy’s eyebrows rose. “Where’d you get that dress?”

  “A yard sale. Took it in a little bit.” I shrugged.

  “You look really beautiful.” He took my hand and placed it on his arm, escorting me down the stairs.

  “Why aren’t you dressed, Diz? I thought you were going with Elaine.”

  “There’s been a change in plans. I’m running out to the drug store for War, then going over to his place. He’s sick off his ass. Told me he’s been retching his guts out for the past couple of hours.”

  “Oh, no! Why’d you let me get all dressed up?” I heatedly complained descending the stairs, and then froze when I saw Bryan standing there.

  “Hey, Lace.” Bryan gazed intently at me. “You look incredible.” In a traditional tux with a black bow tie, his long brown hair practically tangling in his long lashes, he took my breath away. “Hope it’s ok if I take you instead.”

  “Sure,” I managed, practically drowning in his sexy hooded eyes. He stepped forward and slid a white rose wrist corsage bracelet on my arm. Goosebumps broke out all over me as his fingertips brushed across the delicate skin of my inner wrist.

  Dizzy’s brow creased as he looked back and forth between the two of us. He cleared his throat. “Bryan can I see you in the kitchen for a minute?”

  I heard the sound of harsh whispers as soon as they disappeared behind the swinging door. I started to move closer to try to hear what they were saying when Bryan suddenly came back out. “Where’s Dizzy,” I asked perplexed.

  “He went on.” Bryan placed a hand on the center of my back and guided me toward the front door. “We’d better get going. We’re already too late for your dinner reservation. We’ll miss the dance if we don’t leave soon.”

  I saw the limo as soon as I stepped out onto the front porch. I glanced shyly at Bryan. “You don’t have to do this for Warren.”

  “I’m not doing it for him.” He stared at me, the overhead porch light illuminating the intense gleam in his eyes. He reached out and ran a hand through my hair, sifting the individual strands through his fingers. Somewhere in the distance a car door slammed. “I’m doing it for you,” he admitted with a half-smile. “You deserve a night like this. Come on.” He took my hand and led me to the limo.

  The night was pure magic. For the first time in my life, I felt like the fairy tale princess I’d always dreamed of being. I didn’t even try to pretend it was the dress. I knew it was being with him. Arm in arm dressed in my finery, I let go of all my concerns, lived for the moment, and danced with my prince. As we moved together, I unashamedly allowed myself the pleasure of touching and looking at him, without even attempting to hide how I felt. He held my hand cradled to his chest and by the time the last slow song of the evening came on, I had convinced myself he felt the same way about me that I did about him.

  Back in the limo, I snuggled close to him, laying my head on his strong shoulder while he stroked my hair. I sighed contentedly. But before long, I glanced out the tinted window and saw we were pulling up to my house. Was it midnight already?

  I didn’t want this night to end. I couldn’t bear to go back to a reality where he was so close and yet so distant. “Bry,” I began, tilting my head to look at him.

  “Yeah, Lace,” he replied absently as he stroked my cheek and stared at me.

  “Come inside with me.”

  I felt the sudden tension in his body.

  “No, Lace,” he whispered after a long moment. “I can’t.”

  Rejected.

  Again.

  A sharp pain sliced across my breast bone. I squeezed my eyes shut and blindly reached for the door handle.

  His hand closed over mine. “Lace, listen.”

  “No,” I hissed. “Why Misty Rivera, Bry?”

  He cursed under his breath. He took my chin in his hand and gently tilted my face back. “Because I can never have the one who really matters to me.” He brushed a soft kiss across the side of my mouth.

  So this was about War. Seeing the determined set to his jaw and the steeliness of his stare, my heart sank.

  “Let me walk you inside.”

  Bleakly, I nodded.

  Outside on the sidewalk, I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to ward off the sudden chill that made my teeth chatter. He took off his tuxedo jacket and draped it around my shoulders. The warmth and the spicy scent of him lingered in the material.

  I fumbled with the key at the front door and he took it from me. Once we were in, he dropped the key into the glass bowl next to the phone. It rang with a tone of finality.

  “Goodnight,” he started but trailed off as he caught a glimpse of the disappointment I hadn’t been quick enough to hide from him. He reached out and turned me back to him, his grey green eyes intently searching mine. “You’re not going to cry, are you?”

  “I never cry.”

  “What’s this,” he asked softly, running a fingertip under my eye.

  “I’m just tired. The cold wind…”

  “You’re lying.”

  “So are you, Bryan Jackson.” My hands fisted. “Denying what’s between us.” I handed him the tuxedo jacket, and kicked off my shoes. I tossed my hair back and took a deep breath for courage. I could do determined, too. I peeled off one of the thin straps of my dress, first one shoulder, and then the other. I looked him straight in the eyes daring him.

  Bryan didn’t move.

  But the dark flash of his eyes and the flare of his nostrils emboldened me. I reached back and released the hook and lowered the zipper. The dress puddled at my feet in a black and pink pool of chiffon and lace.

  Shoulders back, chin lifted I stood before him completely vulnerable and nearly naked in a strapless corset, matching panties, and gartered stockings.

  He stood still a moment longer and then eyes full of fiery intent, he reached for me and in one step he claimed me, crushing his lips and his body to mine.

  “Lace.”

  “Huh.” Dazed, I turned toward the sound of his voice. I hadn’t even heard the door slide open. His heavy lidded eyes were within inches of my own. Bryan leaned over the bus banquette, looking sexy as sin his hair all tousled from sleep.

  I shook my head free of the tangled webs of the past.

  “I called your name twice,” He reached over and rubbed a strand of my hair between his fingers. The subtle yet familiar movement made my scalp tingle. “What were you thinking about?” he asked in that low intimate voice of his that made everything else in my body tingle.

  “Prom night,” I whispered.

  He blinked.

  “It seems to keep coming back to that for us,” I whispered. He looked much as he had the first night I’d seen him on this bus, only no jeans just black boxers and those low enough on his hips to make me think of only one thing. And he was
close enough that I could act on that thought. I extended my arm out and laid one palm against the smooth skin at the center of his bare chest and the other one a lot lower.

  He swallowed and glanced behind us. The door to the sleeping section of the bus was closed. He grabbed my elbows and tugged me out of the banquette. I stumbled forward, feeling the rock hard strength of his chest through the thin material of the button down shirt of War’s that I’d worn to bed. My breasts tightened instantly against his warmth and my mouth parted at the exact moment that his lips touched mine. A flood of heat rushed through my blood. The intensity of my longing after all this time was almost too much to bear.

  I whimpered as he pressed me into the partition, the wall an unyielding surface behind me, his chest, his hips, his thighs, and his erection even harder. He began devouring me everywhere his mouth could reach. His lips, his tongue, and his teeth doing wicked things to me that made me moan and beg for more.

  He lifted my hands stretching my arms up over my head and pinning them against the wall in his tight grip. I felt the cool air caress my skin as the oversized sleeves of my shirt slid down to expose my arms all the way to my elbows while he pressed impassioned wet kisses across my cheek and then down my arched neck.

  “Dammit Lace, stop me. We shouldn’t be doing this,” he rasped in a raw voice before drawing my earlobe between his teeth and then tracing the shell of my ear with his talented tongue. Breathing heavily, he eased back and stared down at me with lust filled eyes. “How am I supposed to get over you when you respond to me like this?”

  He wasn’t over me?

  This was news to me. It seemed to me all our conversations had been past tense.

  “I don’t want you to get over me,” I whispered, angling my hips forward and rocking over him. My body took over, ignoring the faint protesting voice of common sense in my mind.

  He groaned, and then suddenly he went completely still.

  Certain we’d been discovered, I turned my head to look over my shoulder. No one was there. The door was still closed. Confused, my eyes went back to him to find that he was staring at my bared arms.

  “Fuck.” Bryan yanked both my hands down and flipped them over at the wrists. When his head came back up his eyes were bright with fury. The look on his face almost made me wish War had found us instead.

  I tugged my wrists free and pulled down the sleeves of War’s shirt while trying to ease away from him. Cold shame doused the raging desire that had consumed me only a moment ago.

  “Whatcha shooting up, Lace? By the looks of those track marks, I’d say you’ve got an expensive habit.” The evenness of his tone was at complete odds with the fire blazing from his eyes. “War helping you out with that?”

  I didn’t answer. I tried to twist away, but he caged me in with his arms.

  “I can’t believe you’d get into something like this. Not after all you went through with your mom.” Exhaling heavily, he dropped his forehead to mine. His eyes were so close I could make out the pixilated variation of grey and green as well as read the concern that had filled them.

  His gentleness crumbled any chance I had of keeping him out.

  “What is it, Lace?” he rephrased again voice low.

  “Heroin,” I admitted softly.

  The airbrakes on the bus suddenly hissed, making me jump as the tour bus lurched to a stop. I was tense as fuck struggling to come to terms with what Lace revealed.

  Heroin.

  Could it be any worse?

  “What the hell?” War exclaimed.

  Apparently it could.

  At the sound of his voice, I dropped my hands from around Lace’s shoulders and took a step back. Lace pulled the gaping edges of her shirt back together. Then we both stared at him, looking guilty as shit.

  War obviously had no trouble putting one and one together. Without pause, he came right at me eyes narrowed and hands fisted tight, but Lace slid in front of him.

  “War,” she purred seductively lids lowered to a placating half-mast. “It’s not what you think. Bryan just saw my arms. He was just getting up in my face about my using.”

  War’s gaze flicked to me for confirmation.

  I nodded, though I was feeling sick to my stomach, mind and guts swirling with the toxic mess of all of it. The drugs were a game changer. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t just stand on the sidelines anymore.

  War leaned down and laid a wet one on Lace’s mouth. The mouth I had just thoroughly explored. “Go on to the back,” he told her in an authoritative tone. “Bullet and I need to talk.” Eyes on me, he dismissed her with a pat on the ass.

  She hesitated, glancing out the window. “But I want to go into the hotel. Get a shower in a real bathroom.”

  “You will, babe. I promise. Just give me a minute with Bullet, alright?”

  She nodded and headed to the back without looking at me.

  Good plan.

  War pressed the button to close the door as soon as she passed through, the atmosphere between us instantly supercharged with threat.

  War’s eyes were narrowed with accusation when he turned back to me. “We’ve been through a lot together, brother. So I’m having a difficult time understanding why I should find you alone with my woman again, only this time her mouth tastes like fucking cigarettes.”

  Shit.

  I scrubbed a hand over my face.

  “I get she’s beautiful. And I’m not blind. I know you’ve had a thing for her since high school.” War continued voice low and menacing as he took a step toward me. His chin dipped and his gaze leveled with mine. “But you know the code, she’s,”

  a hard shove

  “off,”

  another hard shove,

  “limits.”

  The last shove was punctuated with an exasperated exhalation.

  I’d taken what he’d dished out, standing my ground while my body vibrated with restrained anger. The only reason I didn’t retaliate was because I felt that I probably deserved that much.

  But not more.

  Nostrils wide I pulled in air and leaned in. My hands balled into fists. I was revved up, too, just as furious about the drugs as he was finding out that I had kissed Lace.

  He studied me for a moment. The contact seemed to have taken his anger down a notch, but a wall of distrust had risen in its place.

  “War,” I wanted to try to explain. My hands loosened as I stood down realizing the situation wasn’t going to escalate further, at least not tonight. “Listen, I…”

  “No,” he cut in. “You listen to me, Bullet. Next time you’re feeling horny.” War’s face twisted. “You go and get your own pussy.” He turned and moved toward the back, but stopped in the doorway. “Tell me this though.” His head dipped, turning slightly in my direction, but not all the way. It was almost as if he didn’t want to look me in the eye. “You come on to her or was it the other way around?”

  “It was all on me, brother.”

  Some of the tension drained from his rigid stance, and he turned to face me. “I’m serious about not wanting to find you alone with her.” He let those words hang in the air for a minute between us before hitting me with a look. “And don’t hassle her about the drugs anymore either. She beats herself up enough about that. I’ve got the situation under control.”

  I had major doubts about that and a lot of other things now, but I decided to keep that to myself. I was clenching my jaw so tight my teeth ached. I needed some time to think things through, and I needed to talk to Lace.

  “Don’t fuck with me, brother,” War warned just as the door closed. “Or I promise you friendship aside, Bryan, I will mess you up.”

  I watched War throw a couple of things into an overnight bag, his movements abrupt. His muscles were taut beneath his red tee. He’d yet to look at me. I wondered what had happened. The door to the front lounge had been closed so I hadn’t been able to hear. Nerves frayed with unease, I pulled on some jeans but left
War’s shirt on. I figured things would go better if I was wearing the team colors so to speak.

  “Come on, babe.” War’s voice sounded jarringly loud after the protracted period of silence. He grabbed my hand and led me off the bus. I didn’t see Bryan or any of the others. Their curtains were open and the bunks had been vacated. Apparently, everyone was just as eager to be off the bus for some down time and a bit of space.

  War didn’t say anything as we picked up a key and headed to our room. He slid it in the door and I entered ahead of him walking straight through to the sliding glass door on the other side of the room. The surrounding forest was almost completely shrouded in fog. In the early dawn, the Appalachian foothills were a fuzzy purple shadow in the distance.

  I heard the door click closed behind me, and then a thump as the overnight bag hit the dresser. I wrapped my arms protectively around my waist. I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew I’d had enough of this tension and imagining the worst. I turned to face him. “What’s going on War?”

  “I know what happened. Bryan told me.”

  My stomach did a major flip and a roll when I saw the hurt written all over his face. That’s not what I wanted. I was such a screw up. I just couldn’t seem to control myself when it came to Bryan.

  “I can’t believe he pulled something like that with you while I was sleeping just a couple of feet away.” War continued moving across the room until he was even with me. He reached toward me, his fingers threading into my hair.

  Wait, back up the conversation. I thought. What exactly was he talking about? I’d been afraid Bryan had told him about prom night. Was this just about today?

  War held my head in place, brown eyes probing mine. “I warned him to back off, but I don’t trust him anymore, babe. Not with you.” His chest expanded as he took in a deep breath. “I love you, Lacey. Maybe I don’t say it enough, but you got to know I do. I need for you to tell me that you feel the same because I have a feeling that this is gonna come down to choosing sides. And if it does, I want you to know, right here, right now, that I’d pick you over anyone else.”