Wake Me Up (Love Knows No Boundaries)

by Michelle Horst

  “Most of them were Laurie’s,” I say, and the bubble she was in pops. “Zac isn’t much of a book lover, so I took them. She loved books. You would’ve liked her.” I can see the questions in her eyes but Emma doesn’t ask. She never asks, or talks about something she thinks is painful. She’s good at avoiding.

  “Zac and Laurie were married for four years. They met at the station. Laurie was going up the stairs and he was coming down when he stopped her. First time he ever saw her. Right there he told her he was going to marry her.” I watch Emma’s eyes. She starts to blink faster. “They got married three weeks later.”

  “It’s so sad,” she says.

  “No, if they didn’t go and elope they wouldn’t have had their four years together, and Zac wouldn’t have his memories now. Laurie wouldn’t have died happy. They taught me how precious time is, and how quickly it can be gone.” I take a deep breath and walk slowly towards her. “I almost lost you once. Please don’t make me lose you again. Give me the chance to get to know the real you. You yourself said I’d really like the real you.”

  “I was sloshed that night.” She smiles. I take hold of her hand. I need to touch her. “Aiden, we have a few more days. One way or another I have to go back. Even if I can find work here, I still need to go back first.”

  I nod. Now I’m the one nodding.

  “I’m scared,” I admit, and it takes a lot for me to utter the words. I hold her eyes with my own, willing her to see all of my fear. “I’m so scared you’ll go back and you’ll learn to survive on your own, without me, because I’ve fallen and I don’t know how to get up without you.”

  “No,” she cries the word, and grabs me to her.

  “For the longest time half of me was missing. Then that night-” I push her back so I can see her face. Tears roll down her cheeks, “that night we met and you kissed me, I just fell into you. You walked in and the hole was gone. I need to take care of you. I need to touch you. I need to see you. You have to give us a chance,” I beg. I’m begging.

  I don’t know what else to do. I don’t have more words. I’ve said everything there is to be said.

  ~*~

  Chapter Seventeen

  Emma~

  He has broken my heart and now he’s moving on to my soul. I want nothing more than to stay here with him. I’m not the one keeping us apart. I have to go back for Chloe, but I can’t tell him that. It’s not my place to tell him about Chloe.

  We don’t go and visit his parents, for which I’m thankful. We go back to the flat and I go to bed early. The call to Chloe, the trip with Aiden – it has all tired me to the bone, but I can’t sleep. I don’t want to dream. I hear him come into my room in the early morning hours, and he gets in next to me. He just holds me tight. We don’t talk.

  I almost choke on my coffee when he comes out of his room all dressed for work the next morning. By dressed I mean holster, gun and badge, too. He slips on a jacket and comes over to me, pressing a kiss on my forehead. And all I can think is ‘this is it’.

  Aiden is going to walk out the door and go to work.

  And here I have to make the big decision of what I am going to do with mine. I wish I had a mother I could ask advice from. I can’t talk to Chloe about my uncertainties, not while she’s grieving for her mother. I guess it’s time for me to grow up and put on my big-girl knickers.

  While Aiden’s at the office, I go to the university to explain what happened. They understand, but yes, I’ve missed too much. I should rather start fresh the next semester – January.

  ~*~

  “Hello,” Chloe rasps.

  “Hey, love. How are you holding up?

  “I’m not,” she answers honestly. We made a promise not to lie to each other. I broke mine when I didn’t tell her about the kidnapping.

  “I managed to get a flight for Wednesday. Do you want to pick me up and I’ll stay a day with you before I head home?”

  “That will be nice. The funeral is tomorrow.” She starts to cry, and all I can do is listen.

  “Two more days, Chloe. I’ll be there on Wednesday,” I remind her. “Be strong for me until then.”

  “Alright,” she whispers.

  I start cooking dinner for Aiden right after the call. He’s going back to Lyman tomorrow morning. We only have tonight, and then that’s it.

  I don’t have the courage to phone my mother. I’ll wait until I’m home. I’ll face her then.

  I hear the door open and grab the dishcloth, as if it can protect me. I wring it in my hands as I stare at the pots. Maybe this is too much.

  His arm slips around me, and he pulls me against his chest. “You’re making dinner?”

  “Yeah,” I nod and my head starts to bob up down like one of those bobble-head dolls people have in their cars.

  “How was your day?” he asks, and I move away.

  I start checking every pot. The carrots, the peas, and then I glance into the oven at the chicken and potatoes.

  “I went to the university. They agree. I’ve missed too much. They were very nice about it. They recommend I start again next semester.” I try to keep my tone light as I turn to face him. At least he’s put the stuff away. (The badge and stuff.) He still looks too professional, though. I feel like I have to curtsey.

  “That’s good, isn’t it? So, then, you just need an extension,” he says, looking somewhat relieved.

  “Yeah,” I smile. “Something to drink? How was your day?”

  He looks at me until I lower my eyes to his neck. Then he reaches for my hair and tucks it behind my ear.

  “I missed you today. I just want to have a nice evening with you.”

  I can play wife for one night. It will be a memory I can call up, when I’m alone again.

  “Why don’t you go take a shower while I finish up here?” I suggest.

  His lips graze my cheek and he moves up toward my forehead, pressing a firm kiss there.

  Aiden likes my cooking, and it makes me feel better.

  I’ve created this little box of memories deep inside me, and I’m stuffing it full of Aiden.

  There is one more memory I’d like before we go our separate ways. Just one.

  ~*~

  After I’ve showered, I go to look for Aiden. I find him standing in the dark lounge, looking out the window.

  “Hey,” I whisper. I don’t want to disturb the night.

  “Hey, you,” he whispers back, turning to me.

  “What time will you be leaving?” I whisper. I’m starting to get nervous about what I really want to do. I don’t know how to start it.

  “Five.” Oh, that’s real early.

  “Then you’d better come to bed. You need to sleep. I’ll worry myself sick if you’re driving that road without a proper night’s rest.” I hold out my hand, and I remember the last time I did this.

  He looks at my hand and then he takes it. Instead of coming with me, he tugs me back toward him, until I’m standing in front of him.

  “When are you leavin’?” he asks, and I close my eyes. I can’t lie to him. I thought I was doing so well. “I’m not stupid, Emma. I feel the goodbye when it’s hitting me in the gut.”

  I drop my head to his chest, and I ugly-cry like I did the other night, because this hurts so very much. I make sounds no woman should make in front of a man, but parts of me are dying, and those sounds are the only way I can voice how it feels.

  He holds me, but he offers no words of comfort. There are none.

  When the last broken sigh shudders through me, he frames my blotched face, and I almost start up again. “Please Emma, will you let me make love to you. Just once,” his voice cracks and I glance up. There’s a tear hanging on his lashes.

  I stand on my toes and pull him down, and I kiss it away.

  ~*~

  I lead him to my room. I will never find another being more in sync with me. This is the one memory I want.

  Aiden lets go of my hand when we reach the bed, and brushes the tips of his fingers
over my waist, toward my hips. He squeezes lightly before his fingers slip under the hem of the shirt, and he starts to drag it up and over my head. The air is cool on my skin. He moves down in front of me as he slips my slacks off.

  He’s seen me naked before, but tonight feels different, it’s the way he’s looking at me. It’s so tender and fervent. His eyes are focused on only me, he sees only me, and it makes my heart expand.

  Looking down at him, I reach out and trail my fingers over his brow and down the side of his face. He moves back up, slowly, and I let my hand fall to the band of his slacks. I smile as I move down, removing them, and when I come back up I pause to place a kiss on his hip, right where his muscles make that delicious curve from his abs.

  For one more night I get to touch him.

  His hands take hold of my waist and he leans into me so I have to sit down on the bed. I slide to the middle of the bed, but then he takes hold of my thighs and pulls me back towards him.

  The look on his face has changed. Those prehistoric birds take flight through my stomach and up to my heart. He moistens his lips and looks at me ravenously. When he leans in closer, I grab hold of the cover, clenching my hands tightly. His fingers dig into the sides of my legs, and he opens them so he can move in between.

  My heart races into my throat, but then he moves his hands up my hips. When he cups my breasts, my arms buckle. He slips one arm behind me and pulls me closer, his other hand melting me as he caresses me.

  I manage to pry my fingers from the covers and lift them to his arms. When my fingertips dig into him, his mouth hovers over mine. I nudge closer and brush my mouth over his.

  “You taste so sweet,” he whispers, and my abdomen clenches satisfyingly, “I want to taste you until I can’t taste myself any more.”

  Oh please, yes.

  But instead of kissing me, he moves down to my chest, and I’m sure he can feel my heart pounding against his lips as he kisses the curve of my breast.

  The first time with him was an experience I’ll never forget. Although it was naïve and insignificant compared to what I’m feeling now, it was still my first. Then it was about getting Aiden to be the one, just making sure it happened and the guilt afterwards, the thought that maybe he didn’t want it as much as I did was hard to bear.

  It was just too wham bam, thank you ma’am-ish.

  But this, this is how it should’ve been. How it should be.

  “I’m enamored with you, Emma,” he whispers against my stomach.

  I said I wouldn’t, but I can’t hold back the words. “I love you, Aiden,” I whisper, barely audible to myself.

  His head snaps up. “What did you say?” His eyes darken and I shake my head fast. I’ve gone and bodged it up. He moves up and cups my face, the look in his eyes desperate. “Please say it again.”

  I let my eyes drift over his face. He looks starved.

  “I love you,” I whisper breathlessly, my heart pounding in my ears.

  He crushes his mouth to mine. His arm slips around me, moving me to the middle of the bed, where he covers me with his warm body. I soak up his warmth while we kiss, our tongues twisting hungrily.

  He breaks away and moves down again, trailing hot kisses over my breasts. It feels heavenly. His hands settle on my thighs, and my body starts to hum with need. He slides both his hands up, his fingers fanning wide when he gets close, and suddenly I have a heartbeat everywhere. He presses down more as his hands move up over from my legs to my abdomen, and he brushes over me.

  I should be embarrassed by the moan slipping out, but he doesn’t give me time to ponder it. I should close my eyes when he pins mine with his eyes, but I can’t. His hand moves down and over me. When his finger slips in, tingles explode, and I clench my jaw to keep from moaning again. He leans down, and our heavy breaths mix as he makes that maddening sensation build inside me.

  “Aiden,” I whimper for him to do something, anything, to get me to that point where my body fragments into a million pieces. I close my eyes and every sense I have zeroes in on him, hums around him.

  His places hot kisses all over my body, leaving scorching trails in its wake. Then his hand moves away.

  “A…a” I mean to say his name, but as he settles against me the whimper becomes a gasp.

  I feel his breath on my jaw, and then on the corner of my mouth.

  “Emma,” he whispers. I open my eyes as he takes hold of my hips. “You’re everythin’ I’ll ever want.”

  He doesn’t go in fast like the first time. His lashes lower and his muscles tighten under my hands.

  The feeling gets to be too much, and I slip my hands up, digging my nails into his back. I need more of him. He closes his eyes and his body jerks against mine, into me.

  He clenches his teeth, grinding them. I lean up and kiss his jaw, trying to ease him, but that doesn’t seem to be the problem.

  “You’re so perfect, dammit, Emma.” He brings his arms up and frames my head while his eyes jump between my eyes and mouth. He starts to move and my mind clouds over. He takes me to that edge where if I fall, I’ll fragment until it’s only him. “You’re mine,” he breathes against my mouth. “Thank you for giving me something so precious.”

  And then his hold on me tightens, and he loses control in the best way possible. I cling to him and I let him take me. I come apart in his arms and he in mine, but we don’t move.

  I take every precious second I can get.

  ~*~

  Chapter Eighteen

  Aiden~

  I was about to fall asleep when Emma told me she’s leaving Wednesday. She fell asleep and I ended up crying against her hair. I didn’t go to work. I phoned Zac, and he said he’d cover for me for three days.

  Tomorrow I’ll pack. Today I have to say goodbye to the woman I love.

  When she puts the suitcase at the door, my gut twists. I can’t even look at the damn thing. I’ve been sitting in the living room while she packed. I can’t beg, and I can’t think of any more ways to keep her here.

  “Aiden.” I nod and get up. It’s time to go. My gut is raw, it feels as if someone has taken a grater to it. “I have to go or I’ll miss the bus,” she says.

  “I’m takin’ you,” I snap, and I take a deep breath to calm down. I don’t want our last words to be in anger. “I’ll take you,” I say, much softer.

  I can’t bring myself to smile as I finally look at her.

  “Thank you,” she says, and she smiles gently, being the strong one.

  I'm going to damn well cry.

  I load the suitcase in the car and turn to her, my movements jerky.

  “I’ve put my numbers on your phone, my email address, Skype address, everythin’,” I blurt out. I know long distance doesn’t work. I’ve seen relationships go to shit in the army over and over.

  “Thank you,” she says again, still smiling gently, and then, “will you email me a photo, so I have something to look at, please,” her voice falters, and my eyes start to burn as a tear rolls down her cheek.

  “Send me one too.” My voice is hoarse and I have to swallow my own tears back.

  I open the car door. There’s no delaying the inevitable any more.

  We drive in a heavy silence, and as if we’re not in enough pain, the worst song possible comes on the radio. I reach to turn it off, but Emma lunges forward, and taking hold of my hand, she folds it in both of hers. She cries silently as Almost lover, by A Fine Frenzy, rips me to shreds.

  At the airport, I’m almost numb with pain. I go in with her and walk her to the gates. I shouldn’t, but I won’t get to hold her again, so I pull her to me and hold her too tight. I kiss her too hard.

  And my heart shatters, my soul disappears back into that hole. I let her go and step back.

  “Bye Emma,” I whisper. I love you. I love you so damn much. But I don’t say it.

  “’Goodbye, Aiden,” she whispers, and she starts to turn away. I can’t look up as people start to push past me. “I love you, always will.” My h
ead snaps up and I reach to grab for her, but she moves fast, doing that speed-walk thing, her head down - and the people swallow her.

  I can’t go after her into the tunnel, into the plane, into the air.

  I didn’t tell her I love her. Would it have made any difference?

  I yank out my phone and dial her number, but of course it goes to voicemail.

  ‘You’ve reached Emma Walker. Please leave a message,’ her voice leaves the formal instruction.

  “I love you, Emma. I love you so much it hurts.” It hurts to breathe as I look up the tunnel she disappeared into. “Dammit, I love you. I want you back. So help me God, I’m going to come and fetch you.” I make the promise on her damn voicemail.

  I shove the phone back in my pocket and stalk out of the black hole they call an airport, the place that has taken from me the one woman I can ever love.

  ~*~

  Emma should’ve landed already. It’s been eleven hours and I still can’t reach her. At the most, even with delays, it can surely only take nine? I count off five hours and close my eyes. It’s two-thirty a.m. in England.

  My phone beeps and I almost drop the damn thing.

  I’m sorry. Just got settled in. ;)

  I smile with relief and press her number again.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey, you. Did you listen to my message?” I ask, jumping off the couch. I start to pace up and down, like Zac always does when he’s tense.

  “I haven’t gone through my messages yet. I just switched on the phone and messaged you,” she explains. She sounds tired.

  “Did the flight go okay?” I ask.

  “Uh-huh.” She avoids answering me.

  “Where are you now?” I wish I was there with her.

  “Close to home. I’m staying with Chloe for tonight, then …” she lets the sentence trail.

  I grind my teeth at the thought of her having to face her mother.

  “Emma,” I start. What? How do I ask her to fight, if I’m here and she’s there alone?

  “Yeah?” she sounds sleepy.

  “I love you, Emma.” I close my eyes.