Our Little Secret (Finding Forever Book 1)

by Rebecca Raine

  Her body was not nearly finished with them and urged her to protest their departure. Her mind, however, had just enough time to reassert itself and urge caution. They’d told her what they wanted, and she knew all too well what her body wanted. Still, she figured she’d better consult her brain before she dived headlong into this. That meant getting the hell away from them, at least for a while.

  Scott leaned back, and she tilted her head to look up at him.

  “It was worth it,” he said, stroking her face with tender sweeps of his hand. “Even if you say no. Even if you run. It was worth it, just for one taste.”

  Then he let her go, and they walked away.

  Chapter 7

  Julia lay in bed, not sleeping. She turned her head toward the clock on her bedside table. It was after eleven o’clock. She’d been lying here for nearly an hour, but sleep continued to elude her as she wondered what Derek and Scott were doing right at this moment. After they’d given her that unbelievably erotic moment on the doorstep, she’d watched them walk side-by-side back to their car, their masculine silhouettes outlined in the moonlight. Derek had spoken, his voice a low murmur in the darkness, and Scott had stopped to plant a short, brutally carnal kiss on his mouth before stalking around to the driver’s side. She’d heard Derek’s low chuckle as he got into the car. Julia had still been standing there in her open doorway, with swollen lips and achy places all over her body, when they’d driven out of sight.

  Heading inside, she’d rushed through her night time routine before seeking the comfort and safety of her own bed. But no amount of ‘hiding under the covers’ was going to stop the instant replay her brain was stuck on. Over and over she relived the press of two male bodies against hers, the sight of them kissing each other while she held them. The experience had been enough to bring her to the brink of orgasm, and they hadn’t even removed any clothing.

  They’re probably having sex right now, she thought. No, they’re not just having sex. They’re fucking. All hard and male, with teeth and tongues and strong, flexing muscles. The image of Scott’s mouth around Derek’s straining cock flashed across the back of her eyelids and Julia moaned out loud. Her sex pulsed and she reached down with one hand, slipping beneath sensible white cotton, to run a single finger between the lips of her swollen labia. She gasped at the slippery wetness that had already soaked her panties, and stroked her finger back and forth until her spine arched in pleasure. It was about then she gave up the pretence she could think about the men, or their proposal, with any sort of calm, rationality. At least for tonight.

  She shed her underwear and nightgown with quick, jerky movements, relieved when the cool night air kissed her naked body. One hand returned to tease her throbbing clitoris, while the other cupped and kneaded one breast before moving onto the other. Her nipples were hard and distended, the nerves drawn tight into sensitive nubs. She hissed in a breath as she pinched at each one in turn. Her mouth opened, her tongue curling up as she imagined kissing Derek’s mouth. She knew what he tasted like now, knew how perfectly they fit together. In her mind, her tongue stroked and played with his until the vibration of his moans set off her own throaty vocalisations.

  Her middle finger slipped inside her wet heat and she sighed in pleasure. She used the palm of her hand to put pressure on her clitoris and her hips rotated against it. She imagined she saw Derek’s fingers thread through Scott’s hair. He thrust into his lover’s mouth with long, slow motions. Scott’s cheeks hollowed, his lips advancing and retreating as he paid full attention to the erection in his mouth.

  Derek sat up, dislodging Scott. He turned his body until he was lying along the other man’s length, his face right in front of Scott’s erection. Scott went back to his previous occupation of sucking on Derek’s cock. Grunting, Derek gripped Scott’s hard length by the base and gave it a long lick with the flat of his tongue before he drew it into his mouth. Once there, he bathed Scott’s erection with his tongue before he began to suck.

  Julia panted in need. She sucked at the two fingers that had found their way into her mouth and pumped two more from her other hand in and out of her slick vagina. Her orgasm was approaching fast and she wanted to draw it out as long as possible. She used her thumb to flick her clitoris, her legs spread wide and her hips curling up and down with the motion of her fingers. Her fantasy reached its completion as Derek and Scott both came with a shudder amid the sounds of low, husky moans. Each drinking the other’s spendings with enthusiasm. Just the idea of it happening before her eyes, was enough to tip her over the edge. Julia came hard against her hand, her muscles clenched tight around her fingers as she rode the pleasure at last.

  “Did you see the way she looked at you?”

  Derek rolled onto his side, propping his head up on one hand as he rubbed the sleep from his face with the other. “What? You mean Julia?” He’d been on the verge of drifting off when Scott spoke and now he was having trouble making his brain function. The moonlight filtering through the window was just bright enough for Scott’s nod to be visible as he lay there staring at the ceiling. “Tell me,” Derek prompted. “How did she look at me?”

  “Like the freaking sun shines out your arse.”

  Derek chuckled at the bald statement. “Is that so?” As much as he liked the idea of Julia adoring him, he considered Scott’s assessment a bit over the top. Pulling himself closer, he ran one hand over Scott’s chest and stomach, enjoying the feel of his warm skin, before placing it over his heart. Even now, nearly an hour after they’d collapsed in a post-orgasmic heap, Scott’s heartbeat was still racing. “Do you disagree?”

  Scott turned his head so their gazes met and Derek saw him swallow around whatever emotions were lodged in his throat. “Only when you piss me off,” Scott replied.

  Starting to place kisses along Scott’s torso, Derek murmured, “So, every other day then.” A vague grunt was the only response. He dipped his tongue into his lover’s belly button before outlining each muscle of his abdomen with lazy kisses. Working his way back up to Scott’s neck, he snuggled in with a contented sigh.

  Scott was still staring at the ceiling. That wasn’t a good sign. Too much brooding was bad for him.

  “What’s the problem?” Derek asked in a dry tone. “Spit it out, before you choke on it.”

  “There’s no problem.” Scott fell silent for a long moment, before he added, “I don’t want you to be disappointed when this doesn’t work out the way you want it to.”

  “Don’t be a pessimist.” Derek poked him. “She didn’t say yes, but she didn’t say no either.” And the way she’d kissed them. He’d never imagined she’d be so open, so responsive. It could have all backfired when she saw him and Scott kissing, and yet she’d seemed turned on by it. The memory had his cock stirring all over again, which should have been impossible considering the way he and Scott had gone at each other when they got home.

  Scott snorted. “I half expected her to slap the both of us for even making the suggestion.”

  “Tell me about it,” Derek agreed, laughing. Instead, she’d held onto Scott’s hand for dear life and flushed a pretty shade of crimson. It was more than he ever could have hoped for. “Our sweet Julia will give us a run for our money. I have no doubt.”

  He gave a yelp as Scott pushed his body off, throwing him onto his back on the bed. Scott clambered on top of him, straddling his thighs and trapping his wrists on either side of his head. Derek’s heart thundered in his chest as he stared up at his lover. A scowl marred Scott’s handsome face, but nothing could erase the heat Julia’s name alone could ignite in his eyes. “She’s not ours yet,” Scott insisted. “Stop getting ahead of yourself.”

  Derek let Scott hold him down, knowing he needed to feel in control tonight. He’d known a few hours ago when Scott had torn the shirt from his back before the front door had slammed shut. They had always enjoyed a strong physical relationship, but tonight there had been an added edge to Scott’s lovemaking. A desperation that told Derek just
how much Scott needed Julia in his life. “Just remember who you belong to,” Scott growled now.

  Though his hands were still restrained, Derek lifted his head to capture Scott’s mouth, thrusting his tongue inside with long sweeps. When he fell back to the pillow, Derek licked his lips and asked, “What will you do if I forget?”

  The hands locked around his wrists tightened and Scott leaned down to suck on his jugular vein. “I’ll remind you,” he murmured before biting down with his teeth. Derek groaned, arching his back into the hard body on top of him. Between them, their erections rubbed together, creating a delicious friction that soon overwhelmed them both.

  Chapter 8

  Julia stared at her monitor late on Monday morning, trying to make sense of the spreadsheet in front of her. A lot of loose ends needed to be tied up before she finished at the end of the week. She prided herself on leaving every project she worked on so well wrapped up you could practically add a bow and call it a present. The entire lack of focus thing she had going on today was not helping her get closer to that goal.

  “I saw what you did the other night, you naughty girl.”

  Julia’s head snapped up. Amber gave her a wicked grin from the doorway. Her face went up in flames, she could feel the heat of it licking her cheeks. “What?”

  Amber all but leapt into the room to perch on the edge of the desk. “You and Scott Mason,” she said in a conspiratorial tone. “You were getting pretty cosy there in the corner of the pub. I’m so sorry I walked up when I did. I didn’t realise I’d interrupted anything until it was too late.”

  The laugh that bubbled up Julia’s throat was louder than she’d have liked, and had an edge of hysteria to it. “Don’t be silly,” she said, shuffling some papers on her desk so she didn’t have to look her friend in the eye as she lied through her teeth. “We were just talking.”

  “Are you sure? Cause you know, the way your heads were kind of bent together, it looked more like you were having a moment.”

  Julia’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times before she said, “That place was so noisy. We were having some trouble hearing each other.”

  “Oh.” Amber seemed so disappointed she couldn’t help but ask her why.

  “No reason,” Amber replied. “It was just so unexpected, I thought maybe you were starting to emerge from your shell.”

  Julia was taken aback. “What shell? I don’t have a shell.”

  Amber raised her eyebrows. “Trust me, girl. You have a shell.” She lifted her pert butt off the desk and tossed her long hair back over her shoulders. “Anyway, I have work to do. I’ll see you later.”

  After she left, Julia sat frowning at the vacant doorway. She knew she wasn’t outgoing, she actually was a bit of an introvert and she didn’t have a problem with that. She didn’t think she had a shell though. She just liked to know where she stood in any given situation, and she’d found spending more time listening than talking helped her figure that out. She wasn’t unfriendly or anything.

  With a heavy sigh, she grabbed her empty coffee cup and headed for the lunchroom. She hadn’t gotten much sleep the past few nights and the deprivation was starting to catch up with her. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Derek’s eyes or Scott’s smile and her reaction to both now went far beyond a little stomach fluttering. She’d resorted to breaking out her vibrator, more than once, but still continued to ride a keen edge of arousal every time she thought of them—which was constantly. It was starting to get uncomfortable.

  Despite the unrelenting fantasies that had consumed her nights, her days had been spent in a more rational contemplation.

  She’d woken late on Saturday morning with a dull headache behind her eyes. Even as she’d reached up to rub her temples, she’d remembered Derek and Scott’s request to ‘get to know her better.’ With the sunlight streaming through the window and a desperate need for caffeine streaking through her veins, the idea that two gay men wanted her to join them in bed had become somewhat surreal. She’d been struck by the feeling it was all some mildly pornographic dream she’d had. The entire concept, arousing though it may be, was just too bizarre to contemplate.

  She had proceeded to spend the rest of the weekend talking herself out of it. She’d begun with a phone call to her parents. They were lovely people who had raised her with much love and affection, along with the implicit expectation she would do well at school, get a good job, and not indulge in three-ways with the higher-ups. Talking with them helped her to feel more settled about the safe, predictable life she had built for herself. They were perfectly happy with that kind of life and one day she would be too.

  Next had come the written list of cons. She’d refused to contemplate the pros, as it would have defeated the purpose of the exercise. There were plenty of cons to choose from, with the state of her heart topping the list. She could admit she had real feelings for Derek and the only reason she hadn’t acted on them was the knowledge he was with Scott.

  Then there was Scott himself. In all honesty she didn’t know him well, but the attraction she felt to him was damned near explosive. Plus, the way they had connected Friday night, even before the kissing began, had her rattled.

  By last night she was firm in her resolve. She would turn them down. It was the only sensible thing to do.

  This morning, as she’d dressed in her usual business clothes and pinned up her hair, she’d practised what she would say to Derek and Scott when she saw them. She would tell them she had enjoyed having dinner with them and was very flattered by their offer, but she would have to decline their request to spend more time together. Short, sweet and to the point. Then she would finish out the week and walk away with her dignity and her clothes intact.

  She’d hoped to get the whole business over with first thing this morning, but she hadn’t seen either of them. The receptionist had informed her they’d been called out to the construction site of a house they were involved in building and they probably wouldn’t be back until lunch. So, she was stuck with waiting, and more practising. She was positive by the time she stood in front of them she would be able to get the words out without hesitating even once. She was almost entirely positive.

  Entering the lunchroom, she looked down as she placed her cup on the counter. Her fingers were trembling. She gave them a shake before she began to add coffee granules to her cup. This was exactly why she had to say no. All this excitement was far too stressful. She had totally made the right decision.

  “Good morning, Julia.”

  She gave a shriek as she swung around. Derek stood behind her. He wore a dark grey suit. It fit him to perfection, though the tie was loosened and he’d undone the top button of his shirt. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said with that trademark irresistible smile. “How are you today?”

  “Fine.” She forced the word out as she straightened, hands clutching the countertop at her back.

  He stood far enough away there would be no raised eyebrows if someone else were to enter the room, yet close enough for her to get a whiff of his cologne. She breathed the scent deep into her lungs, but told herself it didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t like she could stop breathing.

  “Did you have a good weekend?” he asked, his eyes travelling over her in a slow sweep.

  She gulped, remembering how many times she’d gotten herself off while thinking of this man. “It was, umm, thoughtful.”

  His smile broadened and he caught his bottom lip between his teeth. “I’m happy to hear it.”

  Her stomach sank. She had a feeling he wouldn’t be so happy once he heard her decision. Unable to meet his eyes any longer, she dropped her gaze. It landed on his shirt collar, where an odd shadow caught her attention. Without thought, she reached out to move the stiff material to one side. The bruise on his neck that had been partially visible was now in full view. Her hand fell away as if it had been burned.

  “You have a hickey on your neck.” She cringed at the blunt way she’d blurted the words, but he just
chuckled as he did up the top button of his shirt.

  “Thanks,” he said as he tightened his tie. “I forgot to re-button when I arrived. It’s hot as hell outside.”

  “No problem.” She turned back toward the counter, her mind filling with images of how he got the bruise. She wondered if there were more and where they were on his body. She wanted to find them.

  Someone else walked into the room and Julia looked up. Scott had arrived. What little oxygen remained in the cramped space seemed to be sucked out of the room as he drew closer.

  Scott dropped his own mug onto the counter. Big and battered, it had a large chip in the side. She stared at it, trying to bring her racing mind under control. This was it. The perfect moment to tell them her decision. Any one of their colleagues could walk into the room without warning. They couldn’t possibly try to change her mind in such an environment.

  “’Morning,” Scott said in that low gruff voice of his.

  Her eyes lifted to meet his, and she couldn’t help but smile at the way he looked at her. “You’re glaring again.”

  His jaw clenched before he took a deep breath and visibly relaxed the muscles in his brow. “I could kiss you,” he murmured as he started to spoon coffee into his mug. “That ought to put a smile on my face.”

  The memory of his tongue delving inside her mouth resurfaced and places low in her belly throbbed in excitement. She closed her eyes against the sensation. She was not going to do this. She was going to say no. Her mind was already made up. “That won’t be necessary.”

  “Julia was just telling me what a thoughtful weekend she had,” Derek said.

  He’d leaned against the wall on the opposite side of the space, arms crossed over his chest as he watched them both with keen interest.

  “How intriguing.” Scott continued to move around her, adding hot water from the wall-mounted urn to their mugs. He poured a dash of milk into hers, added two teaspoons of sugar, and gave it a stir. The fact he knew exactly how she liked her coffee, though she’d never told him, warmed her in places provocative words never could have reached.