Forgetting the Past
Page 7
Chapter Six: Secrets
Ava
On the drive home, Xander and I stop at Vic’s on the River for a cocktail. This was the perfect date, and I wasn’t ready for it to end. He is quite the gentlemen and does all the right things women like to see from their date. It’s easy to see that he’s had a good upbringing, and it’s good to see that chivalry still lives on.
I order a Kahlua and cream and he orders a Scotch on the rocks. A memory flashes before me and it’s gone before I can grasp onto it. I wish those memories would linger more and come more often, or not come at all. I hope that memory doesn’t turn into a dream later on tonight. I hate having dreams from my past. They’re never pleasant.
“Is everything okay, Ava?”
“It’s fine, thank you.” I’m thankful for the distraction of my not-so-pleasant past. “I’ve had a great time tonight, thank you.”
He smiles and sets his glass of amber-colored liquid down. “I’m glad, so did I.” He shuffles in his chair. “Is it too soon to secure a second date?”
Hell, no, it’s not too soon. “I’m sure there’s something written in Miss Manners that says you need to wait 2.5 days or something like that before asking for a second date,” I tease without any hint of a smile.
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He takes a drink of his Scotch and then asks, “Do you think we have waited long enough, now?”
I giggle. “It’s been long enough for me.”
“Good. I saw that the food and wine festival is being held this weekend along the river. Would that be of interest to you?”
Who doesn’t love food and wine? “Sounds like fun.”
He picks up his drink and says, “Once you work out your schedule with Skylar, let me know when you’re free. We could go in the afternoon, or later in the evening. Whatever works out for you.” He tosses the rest of his drink back and downs it in one swallow.
I watch him finish off his drink before saying, “Okay, I’ll ask her tomorrow.”
He pulls out his business card from his wallet and slides it over to me. “I’ll be gone most of tomorrow, but here’s my number in case you need me.”
I call the number on the card using my cell phone and say, “And here’s my number in case you need me.”
He pauses for a minute with a crooked smile on his lips. “You’re pretty funny, Ava. I like that.”
On the drive home, he reaches over and holds my hand. I like it. His hands are soft but strong. I guess they would be soft. He does computer work, nothing about that would cause them to be calloused or rough.
He holds the car door open for me and also the door to the house. The house is dark with just the nightlight on in the foyer. The guest room doors are all closed, making the house appear to be empty. He looks at me with hooded eyes and asks, “Is there something in your Miss Manners book about kissing on the first date?”
I’m sure there is but at this point in time, I don’t care what Miss Manners has to say. “Nope, she gives no advice about kissing on the first date.”
“I’ve wanted to kiss you all evening.” Then what are you waiting for? He touches my cheek softly with his right hand. In a raspy, low voice he says, “Ava, do you have any idea how irresistible you are?”
Closing my eyes, I focus on the warmth of his soft breath on my cheek. The shake of my head is my only reply. He softly touches the corner of my lips with his mouth. Moving slightly, he kisses me ever so sweetly. I don’t think I have ever been kissed so softly in my entire life. We both moan softly before the kiss ends. I want more, but I don’t initiate it. I don’t want the kiss to end, but I let it. I wonder if this is how I always am with a first kiss? Am I also so eager and ready to kiss on the first date? Xander softly touches my chin with his thumb, and I finally open my eyes.
“Should I walk my date to her room to ensure she gets there safely?” He moves his hands slowly down my arm barely grazing me. It almost tickles but I don’t dare laugh. The hair on my arm stands and my breath catches. I wish I could remember if these feelings are normal for me. If I’ve had them before, wouldn’t I remember? I can’t imagine forgetting something that feels so incredible. He stops only when he reaches both of my hands. We stand there holding hands like teenagers.
I hope I can make it to my room with my wobbly legs. “No, I think your date can make it on her own. Thank you.”
“How about I watch you from here to make sure?”
“Okay, if you must, Xander. You’re very thoughtful, thank you.”
“I’ll see you in the morning, Ava. Thank you for such a great evening.”
“You’re welcome, Xander. Sweet dreams.”
Skylar was still awake when I walk through the doors to the main living quarters. “About time, I wanna hear all about it.”
“Hi, to you, too. How was your evening?”
“Great, booked two rooms for the next couple nights. Enough about me. Let’s hear how your date went.”
“Good, we saw dolphins, Carla Jo Dean packed us a dinner with her fine china, we watched the sunset, then we went to Vic’s and had a drink.”
“Wait. What do you mean Carla Jo Dean packed you a dinner using her fine china?”
I plop down on the couch and tuck my legs beneath me. Skylar turns the television off. “Either Carla Jo likes him, or she’s his mother.”
“Well, from everything I’ve read about Carla Jo Dean, she runs the restaurant with her three sisters, and she’s never had children. So, she is not his mother.”
“I don’t get it. He goes into her restaurant for the first time and comes out with two signed cookbooks. He goes back in and comes out with two meals, dessert, and coffee, and her good dinner dishes. Not the to-go containers that everyone gets when they order take-out food. She gives him her good dishes for our date.”
“Ava, he’s good looking, he’s tall, and he does have a certain amount of sex appeal.” I watch her and she’s right. “He’s easy on the eyes and he’s easy to like. I wonder if he’s a good kisser?” I immediately look away. “Oh. My. God. You kissed him!” It’s not a question. “You kissed him on the first date.”
“I had to.”
We both bust out laughing. “Really? The best you got is that you had to?”
“It’s true, I did. He has these dark mysterious eyes and these full soft lips.
She watches me and nods her head. “Okay, say no more, I get it.”
“You do.”
“Oh, yeah, totally. Does he have a brother?” she teases.
I smile. “As a matter of fact, he has an identical twin brother.”
“No! You have got to be kidding.”
“No, he told me tonight.”
“You mean there’s two of them running around? God, help me.”
The next morning at breakfast, I’m disappointed that Xander isn’t the first one up as he usually is. He’s the last person to arrive at the breakfast table. He doesn’t sit beside me, since another guest has already taken that seat; she is a petite attractive older woman. She’s pleasant and she must be one of the guests whom Skylar checked in last night. Xander greets everyone as a group before getting his food and coffee. He sits at the seat furthest away from me. It also happens to be the only seat left at the table. I feel disappointed, and I’m not sure what I was hoping for: an intimate conversation, an early morning kiss, his hand holding mine beneath the table?
“Well, there he is. I thought you might sleep the morning away.” I look at the petite attractive woman and wonder why she would be talking to one of our guests like that.
Xander’s back stiffens as he slowly looks up at the woman talking to him. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“I told you I wouldn’t come, but after researching the area, I just had to. There’s so much history here, and for the life of me, I don’t know why I haven’t been here sooner.”
“Are you alone?” he asks, watching her clo
sely. He furrows his brows and he looks upset.
I look quickly at Skylar and she is also watching Xander and the woman. The other guests are eating and not paying much attention. What in the hell is going on here?
“I am. Your father and brother had to work. I was hoping you could show me around later.”
His face looks more relaxed. “Of course, I would love to.”
He lifts his cup and then looks at me and says, “Ava.” Then he looks at Skylar and says, “Skylar.” He says to both of us, “This is my mother, Rachael. Mom, these are the two women who own and operate the inn.”
I look away from him and now focus on his mother. I didn’t notice it before, but they do resemble each other. They have the same dark hair and blue eyes, and they are both attractive. He gets his height from his father, no doubt.
I greet her: “Hi, Mrs. Jamison, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Please, call me Rachael. Mrs. Jamison was my mother-in-law.” She looks away from Skylar and looks at me. “It’s nice to meet you both, too. I hope my son here has been on his best behavior.”
“Yes, ma’am. You’ve raised him well.” I can feel Xander smiling at me and I don’t dare chance a look over at him. I don’t want to look at him and remember the first-date kiss we had last night. Would his mother approve of that? Perhaps not.
“Thank you.”
“I hope you found your room comfortable,” Skylar says from across the table.
“I did very much. This is a lovely place you have here. I’m looking forward to trying out the tea room with my son later today or tomorrow.”
Xander says, “I’m not sure we’ll have time for it today.”
I know he isn’t impressed with our tea or the crumpets we serve. I say as innocently as I can, “You’ll have to make time. We just got a new tea set in that we haven’t used yet.” Your son bought it for me when he broke one of my teacups. Of course I don’t say that. He knows what tea set I’m talking about, no doubt. I want to smile big, but I smile slightly instead.
Rachael picks up her coffee cup and takes a sip. “Sounds lovely.”
After breakfast, everyone leaves and begins their day. Skylar and I walk into the kitchen to start the cleaning-up process. There’s a tap on the kitchen door and then Xander walks in and says, “Hey, do you have a minute?”
“Sure, I thought you and your mom left?” I say, tying the apron around my waist.
“I have to get something from the bedroom, I’ll give you two a minute,” Skylar says.
“Thank you, Skylar,” Xander says.
When she’s gone from the room, he walks over to me. “We were leaving, but she forgot her sweater so I had to bring her back to get it. I wanted to let you know that my mother showing up here this morning wasn’t a scare tactic.”
Scare tactic? What does he mean by that? Oh, I get it. Skylar and I are the queens of break-ups and scare tactics, and I never once thought to introduce my date to my parents so quickly after the first date. I laugh. “I never thought that it was, but that would be a pretty clever way to end an unwanted relationship.”
“It would be, but she showed up on her own accord, I swear.”
“I guess I don’t scare that easily. That’s okay, she seems very sweet.”
“She is. I wanted to tell you that I had a great time last night.”
Smiling, I say, “I did, too. Thank you.”
“Good, I’m glad to hear it. I also wanted to make sure we were still on for this weekend.”
“This weekend?” I ask, pretending to have forgotten our date.
His confidence is leaving his face. “Ava? Are you serious?”
I make sure I smile big enough to show my dimples. “I’m just kidding. I’ll check with Skylar and then I’ll text you later.”
He smiles and squeezes my hand. “You know you’re not funny, right?”
“It depends on who you ask.”
He walks away and says, “Have a great day, we’ll talk later.”
Xander
I get my mother’s sweater from her room and then ask her, “What would you like to do today?”
“If we hurry, we can make morning Mass at the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist.”
“Okay, morning Mass it is.”
The church is quite impressive in size and in its French gothic architecture. It’s probably the most magnificent building I have ever seen. After Mass, we drive over to Forsyth Park for a walk and lunch. I secretly text Ava and tell her we won’t be back in time for tea.
“Are you texting the girl from breakfast this morning?”
I set my menu down. “What do you mean?”
“Xander? How long have I been your mother?”
I know where she’s going with this. “Twenty-nine years.”
“That’s right. When you look at someone with that certain spark in your eyes, do you think that I can’t see it?” I never doubted that for a minute. I don’t answer her. I don’t have to. “Now, are you going to tell me? Are you texting the girl from the inn this morning?” I can’t lie to my mom. It’s like an eleventh commandment: “Thou shalt not lie to Rachael Jamison.”
“I was.”
“Are you seeing her, Xander?”
“We’ve gone out once.”
“Did you tell her?” Mom fidgets with her napkin. This isn’t an easy conversation for either one of us.
“No. I just went out with her once. There’s nothing to tell her.”
“I beg to differ. If you get into a relationship with someone, she has a right to know what she’s getting herself into.”
“Mother, if and when I’m in a relationship, I’ll go into great detail and explain everything to her. We’ve had one date and that’s hardly a relationship. Please, can we talk about something else?”
“When are you coming home so we can deal with this? Your brother and father are worried about you.”
“Soon. I need to work this shit out in my head, first. I need some time.”
She reaches over and holds my hand. “Xander, I love you. I’m not sure how much time we have.”
“I’ll be home soon, I promise.”
She sighs; she isn’t happy with my answer. “Ok, just don’t wait too long.”
Mom and I both order a salad with grilled chicken breast, and we share a dessert.
“I’m glad you came to visit and that we had this time together. You look well, how are you feeling?”
“I’m well, Xander. Your brother and Jennifer broke up the other day. He’s pretty upset about it.”
“She wasn’t right for him.” I never liked Jennifer, but I acted like I did for my brother.
“Maybe you could call him later if you feel up to it.”
“I will.”
On the drive back to the inn, Mom wants to talk about Ava. She wants to know things about her that I have no idea about myself. Hell, with her amnesia, she probably doesn’t know either. I can’t imagine going through life and having no idea of who you were before the accident. I don’t tell Mom anything about her. That’s Ava’s story to tell and if she wants people to know, she’ll tell them.
When we pull up at the inn, Ava’s sitting outside on the porch swing reading.
“Oh, Xander, I forgot that we were supposed to have tea this afternoon.”
“I texted her and told her we wouldn’t make it today.”
“Oh, good. We wouldn’t want her to keep a table reserved for us if we couldn’t make it.”
“She said she’ll reserve us a table for tomorrow.” From what I’ve seen, this tea room doesn’t get busy enough where a reservation is needed.
I park the car and Ava smiles when she sees us. She’s wearing jeans and a white T-shirt. Her hair is black, curly, and up in a high ponytail. As we walk the steps leading up to the porch, Ava sets her book down and says, “I can’t wait to hear about your day.” Mom sits on the swing with
Ava, and I sit on the rocker glider next to the swing.
“What did you guys do today?”
“Savannah sure is a beautiful city. First, we went to Mass at St. John’s Cathedral.”
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
I watch the interaction with Ava and my mother. I mostly watch Ava. She’s pretty to look at, but she is also very sweet. She seems to care genuinely about what we did today.
“It is. Have you been to Mass there?” Mom asks.
“Skylar and I have, but only once. I think it’s a must to attend Mass in such a gorgeous church, whether you’re Catholic or not.” She takes a sip of her lemonade. “I’m sorry, can I get you a drink? I just made a pitcher of fresh squeezed lemonade.”
“I don’t want to bother you, thank you.” Mom smiles.
“It’s no problem.” Ava begins to stand but I say, “Stay here and chat with Mom, and I’ll get us a drink if that’s all right.”
“Sure, thank you.”
When I return with the drinks, they are both laughing and talking about broken teacups. I assume they are talking about me, but they aren’t.
“Skylar and I went to this yard sale once and there was a big box of chipped dishes that we assumed was trash. When we looked inside the box, there was this beautiful white porcelain coffee pot with a yellow and orange floral pattern, among the chipped dishes. It wasn’t broken, chipped, or anything; it was in perfect condition. I asked how much for the box and the lady said $1.00. We carefully took it home, we went through it and saw that there was a coffee pot, sugar bowl with the lid, creamer, four teacups and saucers, and a serving platter all in perfect condition.”
“Oh, that’s amazing,” Mom says.
“Skylar researched it and found that the dishes dated back to the 1930’s.” Now that’s interesting. “That’s my best yard sale find to date.” Ava has no memory, so Skylar must have shared this to her. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have no memory of anything.
“I haven’t been to a yard sale in years.” Mom looks away from Ava and looks at me. Here it comes, now she wants to go yard sale-ing. “Xander, when you return home, we’ll have to spend a Saturday going to thrift shops and yard sales.”
“I’d like nothing better,” I say sarcastically.
Ava gets an ornery grin on her face but remains quiet. When a few guests return to the inn, Mom says, “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll try to take a nap.”
I stand with Mom and say, “I need to try and do some work. Ava, thank you for the lemonade.”
“Yes, Ava. Thank you for spending some time with us this afternoon.” Ava also stands with us, holding her book and empty glasses in her hands. “It was nice getting to know you.”
“No thanks needed. It was nice having someone to visit with.”
I follow Mom and Ava into the house, and watch as Ava disappears into the kitchen. I walk Mom to her room before getting my computer and doing some work.
“She sure is a nice girl,” Mom says as she walks into her bathroom.
She sure is. “I’ll meet you later for dinner,” I say to Mom before leaving. “I’ll either be in my room, or downstairs working.”
“Okay, Xander. I’ll find you in a couple of hours.”
When I walk into the tea room to work, I see the coffee set that Ava described neatly displayed on the fireplace mantel. Beside it is the signed cookbook I got her from Carla Jo Dean displayed on a bookstand. I walk over to it and look more closely. If there is such a thing, this would be a true yard sale treasure. Who would have imagined that this beautiful display on the mantel would have cost only $1.00? A free book and a dollar for the coffee set.
After checking and replying to my e-mails, I’m actually able to get some work done this afternoon. My mind drifts off to Ava and my more serious problem. What to do? I know what I need to do, but damned if that’s what I want to do. My mind races back and forth from the news I received just before I took off and came here. I need more time and that is something I don’t have.
When I can no longer concentrate, I go outside and call my twin brother, Andrew. “Drew, what’s up?”
“Just working. How are you?”
“I’m good. Mom’s here with me.”
“Yeah, I know. She made me promise I wouldn’t call and tell you she was on her way to see you. Are you coming home with her?”
“No.”
“Xander….”
“Yeah, I know. I need more time. I need to wrap my head around all of this.”
“I get that, I do. But don’t you think being around your family at a time like this would help? Maybe we all can come together and come up with something. Running away isn’t the answer. You know that, right? You need to be with family and we need to be with you.”
“I’ll be home soon.” I feel like he’s lecturing me. “How’s Jennifer?”
“That’s a low blow, especially for a relative who knows where it hurts most.” He’s right. It’s a shitty way to take the conversation away from me.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. Mom told me that you two were no longer together. She wasn’t right for you, and you deserve so much better than that.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
Skylar walks into the room and smiles when she sees me. “I gotta go, but I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Okay, later.”
“I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation. I would have come back later.”
“No, it’s okay.”
Ava
The next day during tea, Xander and his mother show up dressed up. It looks as though they are going to dinner instead of attending a tea. I knew they were coming today, so I made a few special items to have on the buffet for our guests. The fresh flowers we usually have on each table, I replaced a day early to make sure they were fresh and welcoming.
I watch as he escorts his mother to the window table that overlooks the butterfly garden. He stands tall and proud as he holds his mother’s chair out for her. There isn’t a menu to look at, but they sit down first anyway.
When the bell over the door rings, I head in that direction to greet whoever is entering. Skylar is already there smiling. I’m not sure why she looks so happy, it’s just a guest. As I get closer, I now understand the look on her face. Carla Jo Dean and her three sisters are standing in the entryway foyer of our bed and breakfast. I’m suddenly aware of the frumpy floral sundress I wore today; I sure wish I had on something more appropriate. I greet them with a smile to match Skylar’s.
Carla Jo Dean says, “You must be Ava and Skylar. A friend of yours recommended this place to us just last week.”
“We’re so happy to have you here.”
“I’m a little embarrassed to say I didn’t even know this gem was here.”
“It’s okay, we haven’t been here long.” We meet her sisters Martha, Rosa, and Brenda, before showing them to the tea room. I’m thankful that today I changed the tea menu. Our usual items are good, but today’s menu is better. Carla Jo is just as beautiful and sweet in person as she appears to be on television.
Skylar and I stay at the door as they make their way into the tea room. When guests realize who they are, the room buzzes with excitement. Skylar takes her phone out and starts snapping pictures. I’m still too stunned to move. Carla Jo sees Xander sitting at the table with his mother, and he stands as they walk towards them. He motions for Skylar and me to join them.
Skylar stashes her phone in her pocket and we make our way through the room. I’m surprised to see Carla Jo hug Xander. I know he’s a likable person, but they appear to be more like close friends or family. We walk to the table in the middle of their conversation.
“Rosa, would you run out to the car for me and get the books in the back seat?”
Rosa leaves and Carla Jo says, “I’m glad I ran into you today. I’ve been carrying around several of your books that I want you to sign.�
��
Did I hear her right? Skylar looks over at me and I shrug my shoulders. Is Xander an author? Xander says, “Have you met Ava and Skylar? They’re the owners of the inn.”
“We met briefly when we came in. This is quite a lovely place you have here.”
Skylar says, “Thank you, we like it.”
“Jami was quite persistent the first day we met.”
Jami? Who’s Jami? I remember the signed books, and I also remember the picnic lunch she packed for us.
“Thank you for the signed cookbooks, and for the delicious picnic dinner you arranged for us the other night.”
“Ava, you’re very welcome, and it was my pleasure.” The bell over the door rings and we watch as Carla Jo’s sister, Rosa comes in with several hardback books. “Jami, whenever you have time, I would be so grateful if you would sign these for me. As you already know from the first time we met, I’ve been a fan since I read your first book.”
I’m confused, and I’m stunned when Rosa sets the books on the table beside Xander and his mother, Rachael. My favorite author, Jami Alexander, wrote the books: Living in Seattle, Married in Los Angeles, Loving in Detroit, and Dating in Boston. Xander looks at me and then looks at Carla Jo. “I’ll sign them before you leave today.”
“Thank you.”
Oh, my God. Jami Alexander is Xander Jamison. Xander writes under a pen name. I had no idea. His pen name is his first and last name reversed. How clever. All this time I thought Jami was a girl. A guy writes all of my favorite romance books. Suddenly I’m shy and embarrassed.
I can’t say anything or move, but Skylar says, “It was nice meeting you. We hope you enjoy your tea and if there’s something you need that isn’t up there, please let us know.”
“Thank you,” Carla Jo says. I look at everyone before leaving, but I don’t think I see them. I’m shocked. I’m not upset at Xander for not telling me, I understand why it was important for him to keep his identity a secret. A few guests have their cameras out snapping photos of Carla Jo and her sisters, or of Xander and his mother; I can’t be sure who the bigger celebrity is.
Xander looks worried when he says, “Ava, we’ll talk soon.”
I look at Xander, Jami, whatever his name is, and smile. “I’ll see you later this evening.”
I have no idea how I walked out of the tea room without falling over, but I did. Skylar and I don’t say a word until we are in our private living quarters. “Ava, that hot guy you’re dating is the number one New York Times bestselling author Jami Alexander.”
“We’re not dating. We went out once; that doesn’t make us a couple.”
“He’s already planning your next date. I think you’ll be a couple sooner than you think.”
Skylar is so excited and I’m not sure it’s because of the two people sitting in our tea room or if it’s because I’m actually starting to get a life.
When the excitement wears off, I sit on my bed and read the newspaper. I didn’t have anything else to do today. I just needed a few minutes to myself. On the front page is a story of a local man who helped a woman who was being abused by her live-in boyfriend. It said the hero was driving by and witnessed the man dragging the near-naked woman from the house by her hair. He called 911 before getting out of the vehicle and rescuing the woman from further abuse. The woman and her two young children are now staying in a shelter for battered women until she can find steady employment and a place to stay. The boyfriend is now out on bail for a charge of domestic assault.
I leave the inn and drive to a local restaurant to purchase a gift card for the hero, and then I drive to Toys R Us and purchase two gift cards for the children. I’m not sure what to get for the abused woman, so I decide to send her a check. I write a personal note with the gift cards to the Savannah Tribune, and to the man and the battered woman. I don’t have the addresses of the people the article is about; I figure the newspaper would forward the cards and notes for me. The addresses of shelter are kept secret, but often newspaper reporters know where they are. If nothing else, the editor could call the shelter and someone could pick them up. The note to the hero reads:
Hi,
I just read the article in the newspaper where you helped the battered woman and her two children. I had this need to reach out and thank you for what you did for them. Not everyone would have done what you did. It was very brave and honorable that you would put your life in danger to help a stranger and her two children.
I wanted to do something but had no idea what to do for you. I decided on a gift card from the Olive Garden. Maybe you can treat yourself and a date to dinner and a drink or dessert. I just felt the need to reach out to you and to thank you personally.
I’ll sleep better at night knowing there are good people like you walking our streets.
Thank you, Ava Emerson
Later that night, Skylar leaves and I sit outside under the mossy oak tree. Normally I would read, but my mind won’t concentrate on the words in the book. I think about the battered woman, Carla Jo Dean, and Xander. I see Xander’s mother, Rachael, wandering about the rose garden. When she sees me, I wave and smile.
I was hoping to talk to Xander, but I’m happy to see his mother walking towards me.
“It sure is peaceful out here,” she says.
“It’s my favorite time of the day.” The sun hasn’t set, but it’s low on the horizon. The breeze blows, and it’s cool enough to sit outside without sweating.
She continues to stand beside me. She’s changed from the clothing she had on during the tea. “I was hoping to catch you alone this evening.”
Really? “Please have a seat.”
“Thank you.” She sits down across the table from me. “I could tell from your expression today that you didn’t know my son was an author.”
I want to laugh, but I smile instead. “I didn’t know, but I think I was more shocked to know that my favorite romance author is a man.”
She laughs. “That didn’t happen by mistake. Xander always had a talent for writing. He could write poems, literature, research papers, and even his resume was interesting. In college he graduated at the top of his class in journalism.”
“That’s pretty impressive.”
“We are very proud of him. After college he got a job at the local newspaper and that’s where he got the name Jami. His colleagues would call him that teasingly.” She smiles at the fond memories. “He even won the Pulitzer award in journalism for a series of stories he wrote on poverty.”
I listen intently. “I had no idea. I know his books are wonderful and refreshing to read. Everyone has problems, but they also find a happy-ever-after.”
“They do. He isn’t like other authors. He writes about real-life people with real-life problems. He spends many hours researching these problems and interviewing these people and the troubles they face on a daily basis. He researched genres and other authors and I think that’s when he decided he would write about romance under the pen name Jami Alexander. He didn’t think women would read his books if they knew he was a man.” I’m not sure I would have either. “It’s not that he keeps his identity a secret on purpose, he’s just very private. And now that he’s a number one New York Times bestseller, it would almost be like he’s bragging.”
“I understand, really I do. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Oh, but I do.” I turn around and Xander is standing behind me. He’s wearing jeans and his signature white linen shirt
“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll give you both some time to talk,” Rachael says.
“Thank you, Rachael,” I say.
”You’re more than welcome, Ava.”
“I should have told you, and I’m sorry I didn’t.” Xander sits in the chair his mother was sitting in just a few moments ago. “When you told me about your amnesia, I should have told you then.”
“Xander, I don’t think you owe me an apology or an explanation. We went
out only once, so it’s not like we’ve dated for months and you’ve kept this big huge secret from me all this time.”
He looks serious. “Ava, I feel like I’ve deceived you and I’m sorry.”
I have an idea and a smile forms on the corners of my mouth. “If you sign my books for me, I’ll think about forgiving you.” Now, I have a full-tooth smile on my face.
He’s also smiling. He leans up on the cast-iron bistro table and takes my hand in his. “If you’ll still go to the Savannah Food and Wine Tasting Festival with me on Saturday, I’ll not just sign your books, I’ll also personalize them for you.”
I don’t have to think twice about this. It’s a win-win for me. Signed books from my favorite author, and a date with a handsome man. “It’s a date.”
“Good.”
“So, do I call you Xander or Jami?”
“If you want me to answer, you’ll call me Xander.”
Xander
Whew. That was a lot easier to clear up than I thought it would be. All she wanted was for me to sign her books for her. I thought she just had the few books on the foyer table and the one she’s been carrying around reading in her spare time. Little did I know she has every book I ever wrote stashed in her living quarters.
We order a pizza and she watches a movie while I sit and sign the books for her. Usually, I have no idea what to write. Sometimes, I write funny stuff. In a 15-year-old girl’s book, I once wrote, “Thanks for saving my life in Vietnam.” But for Ava, I knew exactly what to say in each book I signed.
Ava
Always expect the unexpected.
Jami
And in another book, I write,
Ava,
Always unexpect the expected.
Jami.
She laughs as she tries to peek inside the book to see what I’m writing. I cover it up like it’s some big secret. Secret. Shit. I have something else I should tell her, but how? There’s never a good time to say what I have to tell her, or to anyone. I’m here for only another three weeks. She may never need to know. Once I leave here, we’ll probably never see each other again, so she won’t need to know what I’m hiding. I’ll enjoy the time I have with her and not worry about the other problem I have. As if that’s even a possibility. It’s the only thing I can think of.
Mom reluctantly leaves and goes home in the morning after breakfast. I promise her I’ll be home soon and then we can deal with my problem. I know I should get home now, and face the painful truth, but I can’t. I’m not ready to face my fears; I’m still in denial.
On Friday, I have a leisurely day in my room. I didn’t go down for breakfast and I didn’t leave my room for lunch. Ava calls my cell phone and tells me she’s made some homemade soup and asks if I would like to try some. I say “No,” but immediately there’s a knock at my door.
“Room service,” she giggles. I hear her through my phone and through the door as well.
I swipe disconnect and answer the door. Ava is standing there, holding a tray with two bowls of soup, some crackers, and two bottles of water. The smile on her face shows through her eyes. “May I come in before everyone staying here thinks we now offer room service?”
“By all means.” I’m not feeling well, but I don’t tell her that. As I close the door, I say, “What a pleasant surprise.”
“I hope it is.” She carries the tray and sets it on the desk. I didn’t see you leave, and unless you’re hiding a hot plate and a refrigerator in this room, you couldn’t have eaten anything today.”
She’s not just beautiful and smart, but she’s also very observant. “I was going out this evening for dinner,” I lie.
“Yeah, you sure look like you were just getting ready to head out.”
I look down at my gym shorts and wrinkled black T-shirt. My bed is unmade, and I haven’t showered yet for the day. I must remember to never lie to this woman. “I wasn’t feeling well today,” I say honestly.
“Rachael called the inn and said that she was worried about you. She said you weren’t answering your phone, and asked if I could check on you.”
I look at the dresser and my phone isn’t on the charger. “I’ll call her in a bit and let her know I’m all right. Did she happen to say anything else?” I hope not.
“Nope, that was it. I can go down and call your mom for you while you eat and let her know you’re all right.”
There’s food for two on the tray. “Aren’t you staying and eating with me?” I can see the hint of orneriness in her eyes. I love the look she gets before she says something funny.
“Not if you’re sick. There’s no need for the both of us to get it.” She walks past me to the door.
“I’d like for you to stay and eat with me. Strep throat isn’t contagious, is it?” She backs away and I laugh. “I’m kidding about the strep throat, but I would like for you to stay and eat with me.”
She walks towards me and places her hand on my forehead. “No fever, so you’re not contagious. I guess I can stay for dinner.”
She walks over and gets a bowl of soup and a bottle of water from the tray and hands it to me.
“Thank you.” I sit on the bed and let her sit at the desk while she eats. “How do you know I’m not contagious?”
“I’m a nurse. Fevers are contagious. I could check your blood pressure, take your temperature if you wanted. Skylar and I even have some over-the-counter meds if you need anything.”
“Is she a nurse, too?”
“She was, now we’re innkeepers.” She takes a bite of her soup.
“Do you remember being a nurse?”
“I don’t. Oddly, I remember how to nurse. I can’t remember anything about my life, or my family, but I remember how to care for surgical patients.”
I think about what she says. “Maybe the loss of your memory is God’s way of protecting you.” She stiffens. Did I say something wrong?
“Yeah, maybe.”
She doesn’t stay long after we eat. I think I was hungrier than I thought. The food was good and satisfying. “I thought I could pick you up around six tomorrow evening.”
“I thought you could stay in bed and get well.” She gathers the empty dishes and places them on the tray.
“I’m fine, and I’m not contagious. So, I’ll be here to get you at six. I spoke to Skylar and she’s okay with staying at the inn while we’re out.”
“I don’t mind waiting until you’re better. There’ll be another food and wine tasting.”
“Yes, there will be, but we’ll be there at this one. Look, I’m already feeling better.” I stand and escort her to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow night at six if not before.”
“Okay, if you insist. But when tomorrow night comes, I don’t want you crying over a bellyache.”
I laugh. “Okay, I won’t. I’ll man up just for you, Ava.”
“Just get better tonight, and if I don’t see you for breakfast, I’ll know the date’s been canceled.”
That gives me less than twelve hours to get better. “Okay, I’ll see you for breakfast. Thank you for dinner. I truly appreciate it.”
“It’s okay, I can’t have my guests getting sick on me. If you need something, just call me and I’ll bring it up for you.”
“Good night, Ava.”
“Good night, Xander.”
The next morning, I’m up bright and early, showered, and ready to start my day. Normally, I would open my door and wait for the lights to come on in the dining room. Today, I head to the kitchen and offer my assistance to Ava and Skylar. Of course, they don’t need my help. So I have coffee and watch them work. I feel better today, but I’m not feeling as well as I had hoped. I’m determined to keep my date with the woman who has recently caught my eye.
“You’re looking better this morning,” Ava says, walking past me with the breakfast casserole.
My eyes follow her. “It must have been the soup.”
Before she leaves through the door to set the casserole on the buffet, she says, “May I suggest if you want to continue to feel better, you should ditch the coffee and have a glass of that orange juice on the counter instead.”
Ava leaves and Skylar says, “She’s right about that. Vitamin C will definitely help you more than the coffee will.” Deciding the two nurses in the room might be right, I set my coffee mug down on the counter and reach for a glass of juice instead. “So you have big plans for tonight, do you?”
I down the orange juice. “We’re going to the food and wine festival.”
“I know we talked about you taking her there, I think it’s a good choice.”
“I hope it’s enough to impress her,” I admit. “I like Ava, and I would like to continue to see her while I’m in town.”
Skylar looks at me as if I said something wrong. “Xander, if you want to impress Ava, just be yourself. She’s a very simple girl with old-fashioned values. She doesn’t need fancy things, or a lot of things, or even expensive things to be happy. She just likes the simple things in life. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
I think about what she says and I get it. I think I knew that about her all along. “I think I do.”
Ava walks back into the kitchen, carrying only the oven mitts. “What’s taking so long with the biscuits? We have guests who need to be fed.”
Skylar places the last of the hot biscuits into the basket and covers them with the white cloth. “Hold on, I’m coming.”
Ava says, “Xander, can you get the juice for me, please?”
Before I can answer she’s out the door with a bowl of fresh fruit. I follow behind her and Skylar with the juice pitcher.
I spend most of the day down by the lake with my computer. I’ve recently been inspired to write my next book. I have to admit that the beauty of Savannah, and the beauty and personality of Ava, are my inspiration. I always go and spend a month or so in the city where my book is centered, but it’s the first time that I’ve met someone while working and researching. I usually focus on my writing, but Ava caught my attention and kept it. I try to write, but I find myself thinking about Ava, what Skylar said, and about my problem. I know what I need to do, but I don’t know if I can tell her. Not yet anyway. As soon as I come to terms with it, I’ll tell her.
On the way back to the bed and breakfast, I remember Skylar saying that Ava likes the simple things in life. I don’t buy her roses or flowers today, I stop by Walmart and get her something that she’ll be sure to love. This is something I can honestly say I never gave to a girl before, but Ava isn’t like any other girl.
I shower and dress casually for our night out. It’ll be warm and we’ll be doing a lot of walking, so casual is the best attire for this evening. As always, I’m looking forward to spending time with Ava. Before knocking on the door to get her for our date, I assemble her gift and set it under the large mossy oak tree.
She opens the door with a huge smile on her face. “What is that?”
I look up, wiping the sweat from my brow. Setting up the hammock was not a big job, but it tired me. “I didn’t get you flowers, but I saw this and thought it was a better idea.”
“A hammock? You got me a hammock?” Her smile lights up her entire face. The screen door closes behind her as she walks off the porch to join me under the tree.
“I did. Do you like it?”
“I love it.”
Good, just the reaction I was hoping for. “Here, see if it works.” I stand and give the empty hammock a shove. “It looks like it works. The hammock has its own stand so we can move it anyplace you want it.”
“This spot is perfect.” I thought she would sit down gingerly at first, but she flops down on it in a sitting position, and pushes off with her foot. The hammock swings easily and I watch as her hair blows in the wind. She looks young and carefree. In a sitting position, she pats a place beside her. “Here, try it. It’s big enough for the both of us.”
I sit on it more cautiously than she did. It swings smoothly and she pushes off with her foot. “Thank you, Xander. I love it.”
This date is starting off exactly as I had hoped. We find a parking place at the old railroad museum and she says, “I have always wanted to attend one of these.” I hold open her car door for her.
As we walk around, I begin to feel ill. I was hoping with all of the orange juice I had this morning that whatever I am feeling would have passed. I don’t say anything to Ava.
“So, tell me something about yourself,” I say.
“Like what?” She takes a bite of her shrimp skewer.
“Something that makes you different from everyone else.”
She laughs. “Hey, there’s a wine booth. Let’s get something from there.”
Not sure if it’s a distraction or not, I follow. “I’ll go first. I write romance books under a gender-neutral name.”
She stops in front of the wine booth. “Not fair, I already know that.”
“What do you want to drink?” We hold hands and it feels good.
“Riesling for me, please”
“Two Rieslings, please.” I put the cash down on the counter. “Your turn.”
“I have amnesia,” she teases.
I want to laugh, but I still find it difficult to joke about. We get the wine and continue to walk around.
“I like the shock on people’s faces when they realize that I write best-selling romance books.”
She giggles, “I bet you do.”
“Your turn.”
“Don’t get mad at this one.”
Why would I get mad? “I won’t.”
She takes the last bite of her shrimp and throws the trash away in the bin. “In high school Skylar and I would break up with guys using non-conventional ways.”
“Do you mean through a text message?”
“No, nothing like that.”
Now I’m intrigued. “I may need an example.”
“I was afraid you might.” We both take a drink of our wine. “I once tried to break up with a guy in college and when he kept calling me, I knew what I needed to do.”
“What was that?”
“I went out with him again.”
I chuckle. “Good way to let him know you’re serious about ending things with him.”
She doesn’t look away, she watches me. “Before our date, I bought a book and tucked it inside my purse. While we were in the restaurant, the book fell from my purse onto the floor of a very busy restaurant.” When he picked up the book Baby Names: The Easy Way to Choose the Perfect Name for Your Baby by Heather Kennedy, he quickly ended our date and that was the last time we ever went out.”
Was she really pregnant with his baby? “Should I assume you were pregnant?”
“We never had sex.”
One part of me wants to laugh, but then I kind of feel sorry for the guy. “You and Skylar did this often?”
“Apparently. I have amnesia and I can’t remember doing anything like this.”
“Your amnesia comes in handy, doesn’t it?”
“Sometimes it does. What about you? Have you done anything so heinous?”
I think back on my twin brother, Drew, and me. “I told you I have an identical twin brother, didn’t I?”
She laughs, “You did. I think I know what you’re about to tell me.”
“You do?”
“You traded classes in school with your brother to pass a test or something?”
No, not that. “Because we were identical twins, and not many people could tell us apart, I would often break-up with his girlfriends and he would break-up with my girlfriends.”
“Because breaking up is hard to do?”
“As you know, it is.”
“You two look that much alike?”
“Well, I can tell us apart.” I smile. “My brother and our parents seem to be able to tell us apart, too.�
��
She smiles a big smile. “Always a smart ass?”
“No, not always, but sometimes.”
Ava
Xander and I walk around the festival eating and talking. When I said I was going to eat something from every booth, I was only kidding. But we do try something at a lot of them. The food is delicious, and the wine is good. We don’t drink much wine since neither of us are big drinkers. It’s evening and still very warm.
“Do you mind if we sit for a second?” Xander asks.
He guides me to a picnic table before I can answer. “No, not at all. Are you feeling okay?”
“I think the heat is getting to me.”
As soon as we sit down, I notice he doesn’t look well. “Sit here, while I get you some water.” He doesn’t say anything before I leave and find a booth.
While waiting in line, I hear someone yell, “Call 911.”
I look in the direction of the commotion and see it’s coming from the picnic table where Xander and I were sitting. I scan the crowd frantically, and I don’t see him. The skin on the back of my neck crawls and I get a rush of panic through my body. Leaving the stand before I get the water, I run towards the commotion. Xander is on the ground having a grand mal seizure.
I rush to him and yell, “Help me get him on his left side.” Someone does. We need to hold him in this position until his seizure stops, or until help arrives. Whichever comes first.
“Did someone call 911?” a man asks.
“I did. They’re on their way.”
“Is there a doctor around?” I ask. Please say yes, please say yes.
No one says anything. I’m a nurse, and I know there isn’t anything I can do for him here. If we were at the hospital, we could give Valium I.M., or something to stop the seizures temporarily until doctors can find the cause. It’s tough to watch someone I care about suffering, knowing I can’t do something to help him. I keep him on his side and wait for help. When one seizure stops, another one starts.
“Does he have epilepsy?” someone asks.
“I don’t know.” I search his arm for a medic alert bracelet, but there isn’t one. When I hear the sirens, I’m relieved. Xander has been having seizures for almost seven minutes. This isn’t good. Everything becomes foggy as I watch Xander and the medics. I step back and let them start the IV and take his vitals. I feel useless just sitting here doing nothing. I see his cell phone lying on the grass and walk over to get it. I’m happy to see no one has stepped on it.
“Ma’am, you can ride to the hospital with us. They’ll need some information from you.”
“Okay.” In the ambulance, Xander isn’t convulsing, but he is unconscious. I know that the meds they gave him to stop the seizures probably aren’t the cause of his unconscious state. I need to call his mother, but I can’t from inside the ambulance. The sirens would surely frighten her. I look at Xander lying on the gurney. He looks paler than normal, and his body seems lifeless. I get a flash of a vision as cold chills run up my arm, but it leaves quickly. I have a feeling this is a memory I don’t want to remember.
Xander’s eyes flutter open and he looks around in confusion. I lean forward careful not to bump the wires and tubes connected to him. I’m hoping if he sees me it’ll put him at ease.
“Hi,” I say as calmly as I can.
“Ava?”
“Don’t talk, Xander, it’ll be okay.” He looks around the ambulance watching the staff and then the monitors. He inspects his hand and follows the IV line leading from his hand to the pole. The bags of fluid are swinging from the bumpy ride and he closes his eyes. Good, maybe he’ll rest.
When he opens his eyes again, I gently squeeze as I hold his left hand. “Ava, there’s something you need to know about me.” What could he have to tell me? He has seizures? He’s epileptic? “I was going to tell you, but I didn’t know how.”
He pauses and I say, “You had a seizure, Xander. There are medications you can take….”
“No, Ava. It’s not just the seizures.”
I hold my body still, but my heart races. I wait for him to find the words.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know how to say it.”
I squeeze his hand again. “Just say it. It’s can’t be as bad as you think.”
“Ava.” He clears his throat. “I have cancer.”
Cancer? I’m a nurse, I know what cancer is, but can this be right? He seems healthy. He doesn’t appear to be sick… well, not before yesterday. “Xander, are you sure?” What a stupid thing to say. If someone has cancer, of course they’re sure. “You can beat this. There’s chemo, and radiation, and….”
“It’s too late for that.” He watches me with sad eyes.
I squeeze his hand tighter. “Wh-what do you mean, ‘It’s too late for that?’” I stutter. What I’m thinking can’t be right. I need to hear it. I need for him to clarify what he means. It’s too late today or this week. What does he mean?
He turns his head so he’s facing me directly. I notice, for the first time the dark circles under his eyes, his dry lips, and the worry lines at the corner of his eyes.
“Ava, I’m dying.”
Books By Brenda Kennedy
I support Indie Authors. If you read this book, please take the time to go to the purchasing site and give it a review.
Independent authors count on your reviews to get the word out about our books. Thank you for taking the time to read my books and taking the extra time to review them. I appreciate it very much.
Disclaimer: People and places in this book have been used fictitiously and without malice.
Coming Soon
The Forgotten Trilogy
Book Two: Living for Today. Coming… Fall 2016
Book Three: Seeking the Future. Coming… Winter 2016
Available Now
The Forgotten Trilogy
Book One: Forgetting the Past.
The Starting Over Trilogy
Book One: A New Beginning
Book Two: Saving Angel
Book Three: Destined to Love
The Freedom Trilogy
Book One: Shattered Dreams
Book Two: Broken Lives
Book Three: Mending Hearts
The Fighting to Survive Trilogy
Round One: A Life Worth Fighting
Round Two: Against the Odds
Round Three: One Last Fight
The Rose Farm Trilogy
Book One: Forever Country
Book Two: Country Life
Book Three: Country Love
Acknowledgements
My husband, Rex: Thank you for supporting me and for coming with me on this ride. Thank you for understanding that although I am in my pajamas, I am indeed working. You are my partner for life, and I love you.
My children: Thank you for reminding me what is important every single day. I love you.
My grandchildren: Thank you for reminding me that I am somebody; I am your grandma and nothing else matters. I love you all.
My sisters and brothers: Thank you for your endless support. I love you.
My brother, David: Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to publish the first book. Thank you for making my ideas better and for all you do. Editing, proofreading, polishing, formatting, ideas, articles, and research websites. See, I do pay attention. Thank you. Thank you for pushing me until I get it right. Maybe someday, I’ll learn the right place to put the commas. I love you and I can never thank you enough. I love you. David writes collections of anecdotes such as The Funniest People in Movies, and he retells classics in such books as William Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream: A Retelling in Prose. His books can be found for sale on all leading online electronic book sale platforms.
Christina Badder, Owner and Operator of CBB Productions: My P.A., and my friend. Thank you for taking care of all of my promotional needs. The blog tours, autho
r spotlights, book cover reveals, give-a-ways, Rafflecopters, ARC’s, and everything that I don’t know that you do or things I forgot to mention. I hope you know how much I appreciate your hard work and dedication. Girl, I love your work and your vision. You are so amazing and I am so glad I found you. I plan on keeping you, forever. For more info on Christina and her amazing work, see www.cbbproductions.com. Christina is also a LuLaRoe consultant, if you’re looking to purchase the softest leggings around.
Becki Angle Martin: Thank you for designing this stunning cover. You saw my vision and brought it to life. Thank you.
Thank you to all of my Beta readers: You are amazing and I couldn’t do it without you. I appreciate your honest opinions and reviews, and I love the bond that we have developed. Also, I appreciate that I can trust you and count on you. Thank you for encouraging me to write and for giving me ideas. You never disappoint. I love you guys!
Thank you to “Brenda’s Street Talkers” for sharing my books, making teasers and banners, and for the love and support I receive from you every day. I love you girls.
Thank you to all the bloggers who shared in the author’s spotlight and the blog tour for Forgetting the Past. I appreciate you more than you know.
A very special thank you to author DB Jones for your endless and continuous support. I feel like I’ve known you my entire life.
To my readers: Thank you for reading and reviewing my books. Thank you to my loyal readers who have followed me from the beginning and to those who are new to my books.
For those readers who enjoy a darker, more intense read: My daughter, Carleen Jamison, has recently published her debut novel, titled Inappropriate Reactions. It is Book One of the Mind Games Series. This book is intended for mature audiences only and is available on all leading platforms. You can follow her on
Facebook Author’s Page: https://www.facebook.com/author.c.jamison?fref=ts
Info for David Bruce, My Brother
WordPress Blog
https://davidbruceblog.wordpress.com
About the Author
When I first started writing, I wanted to write about real people whom others could relate to with real-life problems and real jobs. I love to read about the billionaire 20-something-year-old, but knew this wasn’t the kind of story I want to write. When my first trilogy, The Starting Over Trilogy, took form, I was thrilled to be able to make the book as close to realistic as I could.
I wanted to touch on real-life problems. Not because I want to show the weakness in my characters or to show the disturbing truth, but because I wanted to show my characters’ strengths. The Starting Over Trilogy dealt with domestic violence: a problem that is all too familiar to too many women and men.
Next came The Freedom Trilogy, a spinoff of The Starting Over Trilogy. The series started off with the All-American military family and the real problems some face during deployment. I picked my daughter’s brain and used her real emotions during the deployment stage. Thank you, Amanda. Then the story turned to drug abuse and rehabilitation.
The Fighting to Survive Trilogy focuses on battles of a boxer, depression, and how to move forward after the loss of a child. It tells the story of two families who are fighting the same battle.
Then The Rose Farm Trilogy took form. This series takes place in my old hometown in rural Ohio. I was excited to revisit my country roots and quickly learned that although I now live in Florida, I was never far from home. This series focuses on poverty in rural areas and how little a person needs to be truly happy. Although it takes place in my old hometown, the people and the circumstances are purely fictional, except for Rick Crooks and his sister.
I hope that in my future books I am still able to continue to write about problems most of us face while continuing to give my characters the happy-ever-afters that they deserve.
On a lighter note: I moved to sunny Florida in 2006 and never looked back. I love freshly squeezed lemonade, crushed ice, teacups, wine glasses, non-franchise restaurants, ice cream cones, boating, picnics, cookouts, throwing parties, lace, white wine, mojitos, strawberry margaritas, white linen tablecloths, fresh flowers, lace, mountains, oceans, and Pinterest. I also love to read and write and to spend time with my family.
My books, thus far, have been inspired by the things I love and the people who influence me, every single day, to be a better person.
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