Friend and Lover

by Angela Benson

  “So what do you really think?” Reed asked.

  They were standing at a lake about 300 feet from the clearing for the house. “I think it’s beautiful, but I can’t believe you’re going to live out here all by yourself.”

  He dropped his hand from around her waist. “What makes you think I’ll be by myself? Maybe I’ll be married by the time the house is finished and I’m ready to move in.”

  Married? She’d never heard Reed talk about marriage before. “So, this,” she spread her hands to indicate the area, “isn’t just for Grandma Lewis’s benefit.”

  He shook his head. “Like I said, I’ve had an option on the property for a while. If things go the way I plan, I’ll be giving a yes answer on January first.”

  Paige was afraid to ask about his plans. Instead, she nodded and began walking along the bank of the lake. Reed followed her. “You’re making a lot of changes in your life, aren’t you?” she asked after a while.

  Reed plopped down on the bank, careless of the natural-colored denim slacks he wore. Paige was tempted to sit next to him, but chose instead to stand.

  “I’m growing up, Paige,” he said simply.

  “What do you mean by that?”

  He picked up a blade of dried grass. “I know what I want, and now I’m going after it. No more playing the field, trying everything just for kicks.”

  She nodded. “Going to the PD’s office was only your first step, huh?”

  He threw the blade of grass toward the water. “Something like that.”

  She remained silent.

  “Do you know what you want, Paige?” he asked.

  She didn’t answer. “Your grandmother’s waiting. We’d better get back.” She turned and walked back to the clearing where Grandma Lewis was seated.

  ~ ~ ~

  Reed watched Paige drink her hot chocolate. He smiled at the whipped cream that settled around her lips. She must have noticed his smile, because her eyes widened and her tongue slipped out of her mouth to lick the cream away.

  The sight of her tongue caused Reed’s thoughts to go back to the kisses they’d shared. He wanted to taste her again. He wondered what a kiss would taste like after the hot chocolate. Then he thought about strawberries and champagne. That’s what he wanted. He wanted Paige. And strawberries. He’d dip one in the champagne, put it in his mouth, and share it with her. He’d clean the juice that rolled from the corners of her mouth with his lips. And when she finished the berry, he’d kiss her, savoring her taste and that of the berry. Then . . .

  “Reed,” Paige was saying. “We’re talking to you and you’re miles away. What were you thinking about?”

  “Just dreaming,” Reed said. That was true. “What were you saying?”

  “Do you want to play another game?” Grandma Lewis repeated.

  “Not me. I’m beat,” Reed said, looking at the Afronopoly board in front of him. Paige had suggested the game, the version of Monopoly centered around events and places in African American history.

  Grandma Lewis stood up. “Not me. I want to call Ida Mae before I go to bed. I have to tell her about the house you two are going to build.”

  Paige closed the Afronopoly board and put it back in the box along with the game pieces. “Tell Mrs. Thompson I said hi,” Paige said. “I’d love to meet her. The next time you come to visit, you’ll have to bring her with you.”

  Grandma Lewis practically beamed. “Ida Mae’ll love that.” She went over and kissed Paige on the cheek. “You are a sweetheart. And the drive today was a lot of fun. Thanks for suggesting that we go downtown and see the Christmas lights at night. It was beautiful.” With that, Grandma Lewis turned and went to her bedroom.

  “That was nice of you,” Reed said. “But it could present a problem.”

  Paige put the cover on the game box. “How’s that?”

  He pointed to the Lewis engagement ring on her finger. “She thinks we’re engaged, Paige.”

  “Oh,” she said. “I forgot.” As soon as she said the words, she realized how silly they sounded. How could she forget the game they were playing?

  “I forget sometimes, too,” Reed said softly.

  Paige looked over at him. He was too attractive for his own good. And too sweet. First, the ring. Now, the house. Reed was doing a number on her. She wondered if he knew it. “We’ve been friends a long time, Reed.”

  “Best friends,” he clarified.

  She heard the “Until Mr. Fine,” though the words did not pass his lips. Before she could make a response, the phone rang. She picked it up in time to hear Grandma Lewis say, “Hello, Thomas residence.”

  “Who’s this?” was Dexter’s gruff response.

  Paige looked quickly at Reed before standing up and turning her back to him. “It’s for me, Grandma Lewis,” she said, glad Dexter had called before Grandma Lewis got on the phone with Ida Mae. She didn’t want to think what conversation would have passed between Dexter and Grandma Lewis if she’d beeped him in at the call-waiting tone.

  “Okay, dear,” Grandma Lewis said.

  Paige waited for the click of Grandma Lewis replacing the receiver before speaking. “How are you, Dexter?”

  “Who’s Grandma Lewis?”

  Paige thought for the hundredth time that Dexter was too much like her father. “I’ve missed you, too, Dexter,” she said. As she spoke the words, she felt Reed’s eyes boring into her back. She didn’t want to think about Reed now. Her fiancé was on the phone.

  Dexter was apologetic, as she expected. But once the pleasantries were over, he was back to his question. “Who’s Grandma Lewis?”

  Paige considered the question and decided a direct answer was best.

  “What? Reed Lewis and his grandmother are staying in your apartment? Where is he sleeping?”

  “I resent that question, Dexter. I expect you to trust me,” Paige said, her hands fisted.

  She could imagine Dexter pinching his nose. “Paige,” he said slowly, “sometimes you can be so naive. It’s not that I don’t trust you. Don’t you know that Reed Lewis has the hots for you and always has?”

  That statement surprised Paige. “Dexter, Reed and I are friends. We’ve been friends forever.”

  “Like I said, you can be naive sometimes. Think about it, Paige.”

  “You’re either going to trust me, Dexter, or you’re not. It’s up to you.”

  Dexter sighed. “Okay, Paige, you win. Again.”

  Seven

  Reed got up from the sofa and ambled into the kitchen. He took a glass from the cabinet and opened the refrigerator. So, Fine had finally decided to call. It was about time. And the jerk had the nerve to give Paige grief about him and his grandmother being here. Well, Paige should be giving him grief about deserting her during the holidays. Reed grabbed the orange juice carton from the top shelf, opened it, and filled his glass. He put the carton back in the refrigerator, closed the door, and leaned back against it while he drank the full glass in one gulp.

  He could hear Paige on the phone, though he couldn’t make out her words, since she spoke in soft, hushed tones. He hated to think of her sharing intimate conversation with Dexter. He was not going back into the great room until she hung up.

  As he stood there in the kitchen, he wondered again at his plan. He knew he was having an effect on Paige, but he couldn’t measure the extent of the effect. He should have kissed her earlier today. The timing had been perfect, but he hadn’t taken advantage of it. Why, he asked himself, hadn’t he kissed her?

  Though he asked himself the question, he knew the answer. He hadn’t kissed her because he wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her. He didn’t want something stolen, something she would regret later. If he had kissed her today, it would have been a kiss of acknowledged passion, and he didn’t think she was ready for that. But she’d be ready soon; he was sure of it.

  “That was Dexter.” Paige stood in the entrance to the kitchen, her hands in the pockets of her jeans.

  Reed placed
his empty glass on the counter next to him. “I know. I gather he’s upset.”

  Paige shrugged, hands still in her pockets. “You know Dexter.”

  Reed only grunted. “So. When’s Mr. Fine coming home?”

  “He should be back tomorrow or the day after.”

  Reed straightened up from his position. “Wonder why he’s cutting his business short.”

  Paige went to the refrigerator, opened it, and pulled out the orange juice carton. Reed got a glass from the cabinet and held it for her. “Was it because we’re here?”

  Paige poured her juice. Should she tell Reed what Dexter had said about him having the “hots” for her? “That’s part of it.”

  She placed the juice carton back in the refrigerator and closed the door. Reed handed her the glass of juice. “And what’s the other part?” he asked.

  “Dexter thinks you could have, how can I say this, more-than-friendly thoughts toward me.” Paige dropped down in one of the kitchen chairs.

  Reed took the chair next to her. “And what do you think?”

  Paige ran her finger around the top of her juice glass. “We’re friends, Reed. That’s what I told Dexter.”

  “Friends.” Reed repeated the word as if it were dirty. “And what if I wanted to be more than friends?”

  Paige looked at him. “But we decided . . .”

  “I know what we decided.” Reed jumped up out of his seat. “But that was then and this is now, so answer the question. What if I want to be more than friends?”

  Why was he asking her this now? What did he want from her? “I’m engaged, Reed.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know,” he said, taking his seat at the table again. “You still didn’t answer my question.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Paige could slap herself for not telling Reed straight out that there was no chance for them. She was engaged, for goodness sake. So why hadn’t she told him? She knew why. She hadn’t told him because she was tempted. Tempted to think about a life with Reed. As a friend. As a husband and lover.

  Reed. She shook her head. When she hadn’t answered his question, he’d strutted out of the kitchen as though she’d said she was in love with him. She’d never be able to keep him in line now. Maybe she didn’t want to.

  She climbed into the sofabed, having already placed Reed’s blankets and pillows on the floor for him. She closed her eyes and prayed he wouldn’t want to talk when he finished in the bathroom.

  Fifteen minutes later, she heard him enter the room. She held herself very still, hoping he’d think she was asleep. She didn’t want to talk tonight. She needed to think, to decide what she wanted to do.

  She could feel him looking down at her while she pretended sleep. For a moment, she hoped he would lean over and kiss her goodnight, but he didn’t. He clicked off the light and slid into his bed. It was going to be a long night.

  ~ ~ ~

  Paige woke earlier than usual the next morning. She’d tossed and turned all night. It was a wonder she hadn’t kept Reed up right along with her.

  She jumped out of bed with forced enthusiasm and dressed for her morning run. She decided not to wake Reed. No, this morning she needed time to herself. Maybe the cool morning air would help clear her head.

  When she got back to the apartment an hour later, nothing was clearer, but she did feel refreshed.

  “You didn’t wait for me this morning,” Reed said, as soon as she entered the apartment.

  She slipped off her jacket and placed it on the back of the sofa. I needed some time away from you. “I didn’t want you to risk hurting your foot again.”

  Reed lifted a brow to indicate his disbelief. “Thanks for the consideration.”

  She flopped down on the sofa, propped her feet up on the coffee table, and closed her eyes. “Don’t mention it.”

  Reed sat next to her and propped his feet up on the coffee table, too.

  She opened one eye. “Take your feet off the table, Reed.”

  Reed looked at her. “Your feet are up there.”

  She closed her eye. “You keep forgetting that this is my apartment, so take your feet down.”

  He mumbled something unintelligible and she didn’t bother to ask him to repeat it. Then she heard him move his feet from the table.

  “You’re going to make a lousy parent,” he said clearly.

  Again, she opened an eye. “What makes you say that?”

  He pointed at her feet propped on the furniture. “Because you have to teach by example. You can’t go around telling your kids, ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’ ”

  She closed her eyes. “You’re right, but there’s one thing you’ve forgotten.”

  “What?”

  “You’re not a child, and I’m not your parent.”

  Reed mumbled again. “Do you want children, Paige?”

  She hadn’t expected the question. “Sure.”

  “How many?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, three or four sound good.”

  The picture of a pregnant Paige floated through his mind and caused his chest to tighten. “Three or four. By today’s standards, that’s quite a few.”

  “So? I like children and I think I’d be a good parent.”

  “And you think Mr. Fine will be a good father?”

  That question irritated her, because her feelings on the matter were mixed. She knew the kind of father Dexter would be. She was certain he’d be exactly like her father. Exactly. She hadn’t quite decided if that was good or bad. Not that her father wasn’t a good parent; he was. He was just so demanding, so controlling.

  “It’s taking you too long to reply. I think I know the answer.”

  “Then I guess I don’t need to reply.” Paige kept thinking about Dexter as a parent. The two of them had discussed the role she would play in their children’s upbringing, but they hadn’t discussed his at any length. She hoped he’d cut back on his work obligations, but deep inside she knew that was a futile wish. Again, Dexter was too much like her father. Work would always come first.

  Of course, Dexter would never admit that, and neither would her father. Their answer was, “I’m working for my family, so the family comes first, not the work.” Paige had heard that logic many times when she was growing up. And though she was certain her father loved her, she wished she’d had more of his time. Then, maybe she wouldn’t have had to try so hard to win his attention by doing things to make him proud.

  “I want kids, too,” Reed said, interrupting her thoughts. “I could deal with five or six, myself.”

  Paige opened both eyes then. “Good luck finding a woman willing to have that many for you. Please, Reed, the woman will have to stay pregnant.”

  Reed smiled what she could only term a masculine grin. “Hey, in order for her to stay pregnant, she has to keep getting pregnant. I don’t have a problem with that. No siree, I don’t have a problem with that at all.”

  Paige sneered. “Just like a man. Sometimes, you can be so crude.”

  “What are you getting so upset about? It’s not like we haven’t talked about sex before.”

  Paige knew that, but right now the idea of Reed making love with some other woman made her angry. She didn’t want that picture in her mind. No, Paige didn’t want to think about Reed with anybody else. She knew her emotion was unreasonable, but it was how she felt. “That was then. This is now.”

  “What’s the problem?”

  The problem was that when Paige closed her eyes, she didn’t see Reed with some other woman, she saw Reed with her, his strong arms wrapped around her. She could even feel . . .

  She jumped up from her seat on the sofa, hoping those thoughts would leave her mind. “Look, I’m going to shower and get dressed.”

  Reed watched Paige pick up her jacket and go into the bedroom, but his thoughts were still on her, pregnant with their child. As soon as the bedroom door closed behind her, he switched to thoughts of getting her pregnant.

  They’d be
good together; he knew it. When he recalled how heated their arguments used to be, he knew their passion would be even more heated. Yes, Paige would be great in his bed. But he wanted more than sex from her. He also wanted her to love him and to trust him. He had been around long enough to know that love and trust would take their passion to heights he could only imagine.

  As always, when he thought about Paige, his body began to react. He longed for the day when he wouldn’t have to “deal with it” or “work it out.” No, he wanted his desire for her to be quenched by a celebration of passion that only came with the commitment of marriage. But the time for that had not arrived. Yet.

  He grabbed his jacket from the hall closet. He needed a long run this morning.

  ~ ~ ~

  “I don’t know what happened,” Willie Pearl said over the phone to her friend Ida Mae. “Things were great when I went to bed last night, but dinner tonight . . . I don’t know.”

  “Willie Pearl, don’t worry too much about them young folks. They’ll work it out if they’re as much in love as you say they are.”

  “I don’t know.” Willie Pearl sighed. “I wish there was something I could do. They’re such a good couple. Reed has needed someone like Paige in his life for a long time. And from the looks of things, Paige has needed him. I don’t want them to mess it up. You know how foolish the young can be.”

  Ida Mae laughed. “We were young once and we didn’t turn out too bad.”

  That was true, Willie Pearl thought. Ida Mae had been married more than fifty years when her man, Harry, had died. And she and Grady had been wed more than sixty years. “I hope these two are as smart as we were.”

  “They are.” Ida Mae cleared her throat.

  “What is it, Ida Mae? When you clear your throat, it means you have something else to say. Go ahead, say it.”

  “You promise you won’t get mad at me?” Ida Mae asked in a soft voice.

  Willie Pearl sighed. Ida Mae always did this, and it almost drove her batty. “I won’t get mad. I promise.”

  “Well, ah, they could be frustrated.”

  “I don’t see why,” Willie Pearl explained. “I told them that I didn’t sleep with my hearing aid. They can do all the courting they want to after I go to bed.”