Friend and Lover

by Angela Benson

  “Do you love me, Dexter?” she asked.

  He stopped pacing and stared at her. “Of course, I love you. I asked you to marry me, didn’t I? I gave you an engagement ring big enough to choke a horse, didn’t I? Of course, I love you.”

  Paige remembered Reed’s declaration of love. Dexter’s didn’t exactly measure up. “Why do you love me, Dexter?”

  He sat down again. She could tell he was uneasy with her questions. “I love you because I love you. Why are you asking all these questions now? You didn’t ask them when you accepted my proposal.”

  “Maybe I should have,” she responded softly.

  ~ ~ ~

  Reed climbed into the sofabed he’d shared with Paige last night, wishing she were there with him. The knowledge that she wasn’t with Dexter was small consolation. He needed her with him.

  When she’d called earlier to speak to Big Momma and not to him, he’d been relieved and angry. Why hadn’t she wanted to talk to him? It had taken all his acting skills to put up a nonchalant pose for Big Momma.

  She’d said she’d gone by her office and gotten caught up in a problem that needed her attention. She’d have to stay there until they worked it out. Reed didn’t believe that, and he didn’t think Big Momma did, either. What was she doing? he wondered.

  He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but that was impossible. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he talked with her. He had to know how her conversation with Fine had gone. Though he was sure she wasn’t with Fine now, he was sure she had spoken with him earlier. It wouldn’t have been her style to handle it any other way.

  He heard her key turn in the lock about fifteen minutes later. The clock said eleven-thirty. He wanted to jump up and meet her at the door, but he allowed himself only to sit up in bed.

  “So you finally made it in.” The words sounded like an accusation, though that wasn’t what he meant by them.

  She strode into the room and dropped her bag on the table behind the sofa. “Why is it that no one seems to realize I’m an adult, capable of making my own decisions? I can even tell time.”

  “Okay,” Reed said, climbing out of bed. “I’m sorry, but I was worried. Do you want to tell me what happened with Fine?”

  Her now frequent frown returned and she sat down on the side of the sofabed. “What makes you think I went to see Dexter?”

  He sat down next to her and brushed his hand across her hair. “I know you.”

  She shook her head and his hand fell away. “You think you know me.”

  He didn’t like that she pulled away from him, but he wasn’t going to pursue it. At least, not now. “Okay, I’m not going to argue with you. But I think you owe me an explanation.”

  “An explanation,” she said, hopping up from the bed. “I owe you an explanation.” She pointed her finger at him and spoke in hushed tones. He knew that was so she wouldn’t wake Big Momma. “Let me tell you something, Reed Lewis. You behaved like a big jerk earlier today, and I don’t owe you anything. You owe me.” She poked her finger into his chest. “And you owe me big. Because of a favor I did you, my engagement is over. Do you hear me? It’s over!”

  He heard it and he wanted to scream his happiness from the rooftops. She’d ended her engagement to Fine. “You make it sound like that wasn’t what you wanted. It was, wasn’t it?”

  She propped her hands on her hips. “What I want is for every man on this planet to leave me alone, and that includes you, Reed Lewis. I’m going to take my shower now, and when I get back, I want you out of my bed and on the floor, where you belong.”

  “Paige,” Reed protested, “you don’t mean that. Your engagement with Fine is over. Don’t you see? Now we can be together.”

  Paige shook her head woefully. “I can’t go from one man to another just like that, Reed. Though you didn’t think much of my engagement to Dexter, I did. I was going to marry him.” She was near tears now. “I was going to spend my life with a man I didn’t love. Do you know how shallow that makes me feel? Just leave me alone, will you?” She turned and fled the room.

  Ten

  Grandma Lewis placed the last of the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher. “Thank you so much, Paige, for allowing Reed and me to stay with you like this. I know you haven’t had much privacy since I’ve been here.”

  Paige closed the Arts section of the newspaper and placed it on the kitchen table. “I’ve loved having you here, Grandma Lewis. Don’t you know that? I don’t want you to think anything different.”

  Grandma Lewis switched on the dishwasher and turned around to face Paige. “And I’ve enjoyed being with you and Reed. It’s good for the old folks and the young folks to get together.”

  “You’ll have to come back.”

  Grandma Lewis shook her head of silver curls. “You’ll have to come visit me. I know you’ll love the farm.”

  “I know I will, too.”

  “Oh, my,” Grandma Lewis said, placing her hands to her mouth. “I forgot all about my pictures. I brought pictures for you and Reed.”

  Grandma Lewis headed off for her bedroom and Paige followed her.

  “Where did I put them?” Grandma Lewis asked herself, as she rummaged through the tote bag she’d brought. “I can’t believe that I’ve waited until the end of my trip to think about them.”

  “I’m glad you remembered them. Try the chest,” Paige suggested, when the older woman had no success with the bag. “Maybe you put them in with your clothes.”

  Grandma Lewis went and opened first the top drawer, then the second. “That’s one thing about getting old. The memory goes.” She found her packet in the third drawer. “Here they are.” Grandma Lewis practically beamed. She walked over and sat on the foot of the bed, patting the spot next to her for Paige to sit. “I didn’t put them in an album because I wanted to leave that for you and Reed.”

  Paige sat next to her. “You’re giving us these pictures?”

  Grandma Lewis smiled, wrinkles puddling around her bright eyes. “Why, yes, dear. Actually, I’m giving them to you. It’s sort of a pictorial of Reed’s life. I thought the photos might help you understand Reed a little better. I know you love him, but understanding comes with time.”

  Paige hugged Grandma Lewis to her. She was sure Grandma Lewis was right. She loved her father and she definitely didn’t understand him. She didn’t want to think about loving Reed . . . not yet, anyway. “That was so sweet of you.”

  “Sweet, nothing, you’re going to be a part of this family and there are some things you should know.”

  Paige felt like a fraud. All Grandma Lewis had done since she’d been here was try to make her feel like a real member of the Lewis family. And how had Paige repaid her kindness? By lying to her, by making her think she was engaged to her grandson. Now, it seemed like a cheap trick.

  “Grandma Lewis,” Paige began, “there’s something I need to tell you.”

  Grandma Lewis grabbed Paige’s hands. “There’s nothing you need to tell me, sweetheart. I know you and Reed are having a few problems right now, but I also know that you love each other.”

  “But—” Paige began.

  “But nothing,” Grandma Lewis said. “You can’t tell me anything that I can’t see in my heart. I know as sure as I’m sitting here that you and Reed are going to make it. You two just don’t know it yet, but you will. Soon.”

  There was nothing Paige could say to that. Grandma Lewis had painted a picture of her and Reed that couldn’t be changed. “Well, show me the pictures, then.”

  For the next two hours, Grandma Lewis showed pictures and told stories of Reed’s life. When she was done, Paige wanted to know more. She wanted to meet Reed’s parents and his brother. She wanted to visit Grandma Lewis’s farm. She wanted to see the high school where Reed had been a track star and valedictorian. She wanted to see and experience the world that he’d grown up in.

  Grandma Lewis had been right: the pictures had helped her understand Reed. It was now very clear to her why h
e’d joined the public defender’s office. She understood that for Reed it was much more than a job. It was a way of giving back, a way of making a difference. Her respect for him and the courage it had taken to make that decision grew larger in her heart. She’d have to tell him so and maybe do some apologizing in the process.

  She and Grandma Lewis spent the rest of the day together, talking and doing girl things. It was wonderful. It reminded Paige of the times she had spent with her own grandmother. Once again, she realized how much she missed her. Not that her mother wasn’t there for her, but grandmothers were different. They just loved you and let you be. She missed that. She saw now that her grandmother had provided a much needed balance to her father’s overbearing concern.

  Though Paige enjoyed her day with Grandma Lewis, she missed Reed. He’d been gone all day. She hadn’t asked about him or his whereabouts, and neither had his grandmother. She was surprised when he showed up an hour or so before dinner. Though “Where have you been?” were the words uppermost in her mind, she chose to open with, “Hi, Reed.”

  He returned her greeting and followed it up with a kiss on the cheek for her and Grandma Lewis. “Did my girls have fun today?” he asked Grandma Lewis.

  “Yes, we did. And thank you for giving us some girl time. We needed it.”

  Reed looked at Paige with questioning eyes. “We had a great time,” she said. “And Grandma Lewis gave me a combination Christmas-New Year’s Eve-engagement-wedding gift.”

  “What was it?” Reed asked.

  “It’s a secret,” Paige and Grandma Lewis said at the same time. They’d decided that Paige would buy a photo album and present it and the pictures to Reed on their wedding night. It had been Grandma Lewis’s idea, and Paige hadn’t had the heart to tell her no.

  Reed laughed. “It must be something naughty, if you’re both being so secretive. Am I gonna like it, Big Manama?”

  “I think you will. You’ll have to wait and see.”

  He looked over at Paige, eyes twinkling. “Maybe I can coax you into spilling the beans.”

  Paige remembered the coaxing she had done during their drive to the country. She definitely didn’t want that right now. “Of course, you could convince me to tell, sweetie, but don’t do it. Grandma Lewis and I want this to be a surprise.”

  He pressed his lips to hers anyway. “That’s the price for stopping my coaxing.” When he pulled away, he grinned at her like a schoolboy with his first crush. She couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face in return.

  “Dinner will be ready soon,” Paige said, needing a cover for her emotions. “Grandma Lewis and I worked all day preparing your favorite foods.”

  Reed smiled at his grandmother. “I bet I can guess whose idea it was.”

  Grandma Lewis opened the door of the wall oven to check her apple cobbler. “It may have been my idea, but Paige was all for it. You’ve got a good one in her, Reed.” She winked at Paige. “You’d better treat her right.”

  “You keep telling me how well I’ve done in finding Paige,” Reed said. “Why don’t you tell her how well she did in finding me? After all, you’re my grandmother, not hers.”

  Grandma Lewis tapped Reed on the forearm with her rolling pin. “That’s where you’re wrong. I’m her grandmother, too, now.”

  “I’ve lost my grandmother,” Reed lamented. “What else am I gonna lose in this marriage?”

  “Aw, hush up, sonny,” Grandma Lewis said. “You’re talking nonsense.”

  “Now I can’t even talk.” Reed caught Paige’s eye. “Boy, I don’t know if I’m going to like married life.”

  “You’ll like it,” Grandma Lewis said, “especially with a smart, pretty girl like Paige.”

  Reed got up from the table and headed for the great room. “I can see there’s nothing I can say tonight. You’ve woven a spell around Big Momma, Paige.” Paige smiled and opened her mouth to comment, but Reed added, “Like you’ve woven one around me.”

  Paige closed her mouth. The words she had been about to speak were now meaningless. Reed meant what he said. He wasn’t joking. She was sure of it.

  The sound of the doorbell saved Paige from having to comment on Reed’s statement.

  “I’ll get it,” he said.

  Paige turned her attention back to Grandma Lewis. “I don’t know if I’m going to let Reed have any of this apple cobbler. I may eat it all myself.”

  Grandma Lewis pinched Paige’s arm. “Go on with you.”

  “Mr. Thomas,” Paige heard Reed’s surprised voice. “It’s good to see you again, sir.”

  “It’s your father,” Grandma Lewis said, taking off her apron and brushing down her dress. “Let’s go greet him.” She headed off toward the front door.

  Paige rushed behind her.

  Reed turned around as they approached and Mr. Thomas entered the apartment. “Big Momma, this is Mr. Thomas, Paige’s father. Mr. Thomas, this is my grandmother, Willie Pearl Lewis. You can call her Grandma Lewis or Big Mamma.”

  Paige leaned forward and kissed her father’s cheek. “Remember your promise,” she whispered, and then said for all to hear, “This is a pleasant surprise. Come on in so you and Grandma Lewis can get acquainted.”

  Mr. Thomas handed his overnight bag to Reed and took Grandma Lewis’s elbow and led her to the sofa. “It’s about time we met, Mrs. Lewis.”

  “ ‘Mrs. Lewis’ is much too formal. You must call me Big Momma or Grandma Lewis. After all, we’re practically family.”

  Mr. Thomas cleared his throat, then frowned at Reed. At least now Reed knew where Paige had learned the look. “I guess you’re right about that, Grandma Lewis.”

  Grandma Lewis gave her best smile and Paige thought she saw a smile touch the corners of her father’s mouth. Maybe Grandma Lewis could win her father over.

  Reed excused himself from the room and beckoned Paige to follow him into the bedroom. As soon as the door was closed, he pulled her into his arms and gave her a hungry kiss.

  “What are you doing, Reed?” Paige asked, after she caught her breath. She stood with her arms around Reed’s waist.

  He began a trail of kisses down her jaw. “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.”

  Paige tilted her head to give Reed better access to her neck. “We’d better get back out there.”

  “Why?” Reed asked. “So your father can stare me down all night?”

  Paige pulled back so she could look at Reed. “It wasn’t that bad.”

  Reed pulled her closer and resumed his attack. “I wasn’t in there that long. Face it, Paige, your father hates me.”

  “He doesn’t hate you,” Paige said, caressing Reed’s jawline with her hand. She liked the feel of the stubble on his face.

  “You talk too much,” Reed said, before taking her lips in his.

  Paige decided he was right. There was nothing else for her to do except concentrate on his kiss.

  ~ ~ ~

  Reed kept looking at the door. He didn’t know if he wanted to get up and leave through it, or throw Mr. Thomas out of it. Right now, the latter was more appealing.

  He had studied Thomas covertly all through dinner. He guessed women would find the man attractive. With his graying temples, bright eyes, ready smile, and pearly white teeth, Thomas could have been a poster child for Lawyers-Are-Us. The way Paige and Grandma Lewis hung onto his every word made Reed want to throw up. So the guy was well-read, well-traveled and well-dressed. Reed could accept that. Why couldn’t Thomas accept him?

  It wasn’t that Thomas was being rude. To the contrary, he was treating Reed as though he really liked him. And that rankled. How could a man of Thomas’s obvious intelligence think that Fine was a better man, a better catch, for Paige? Reed didn’t understand it.

  “I’m so proud of Reed,” Big Momma was saying. “Not many young people today would sacrifice money for principle, but my Reed did.” The pride in her voice made Reed smile. It was either smile or tear up, and he wasn’t about to tear up in
front of Thomas.

  “You should be proud of him,” Thomas said, as though it was expected of him.

  “And so should you,” Big Momma continued. “He’ll make a fine husband to your daughter.” She looked over at Reed and smiled. “My grandson knows what’s important in life. He’ll never neglect Paige or the family they’ll have.”

  Thomas looked over at Reed. “It takes money to support a family,” he said.

  Now the true Thomas was coming to the surface, Reed thought. He sought Paige’s eyes, but they were directed on her father. There was a plea in them. She didn’t want her father to say something to upset Big Momma.

  But Reed wasn’t concerned about Big Momma. He knew there was nothing Thomas could say that could shake her confidence in him. No, it wasn’t Big Momma he thought Thomas would influence. It was Paige.

  That was what that kiss earlier had been about. He didn’t want Paige to forget the feelings he aroused in her, the feelings they aroused in each other. His kiss had been more than a sexual act; it had been a statement of his love for her. As she listened with rapt attention to her father, he didn’t want her to forget him and the life he wanted for them.

  “I’m sure sonny knows that,” Big Momma said. “But he also knows that money can’t make you happy.”

  At this moment, Reed was proud of his grandmother. “But it can help,” Thomas added.

  Reed thought Thomas was going to say more, but he didn’t and neither did Big Momma.

  “Dessert?” Paige asked, a little too brightly. Though she held her own with her father, Reed knew it took a lot out of her to do so. He was familiar with trying to stand your ground, while also trying to win and keep the love and respect of someone you loved and respected.

  Reed pushed back his chair and placed his napkin on the table. “I’ll help you.” He followed Paige into the kitchen.

  As soon as they were out of view of their elders, he pushed her against the wall and kissed her again.

  “What was that for?”

  He moved away from her. “I don’t want you to forget what’s important. I love you, Paige. That’s what counts.”