Forgotten

by Jessica Carbine

  "Hello?" A familiar voice answered.

  "Hi Mom! How are you?"

  "Cassie! I'd be a lot better if this wasn't your first call in over a month!"

  "Sorry," Cassie felt bad, she knew it was hard on her mom to be alone all the time. "I've had midterms for the past two weeks, if that makes you feel any better."

  "Well never mind, you're calling now. What's new? Any important young men I need to meet?"

  Cass thought very briefly of telling her mother about Craig, shuddered at the thought of her reaction and decided against it.

  "No, nothing on the dating front,” she said.

  "Really," said her mother in surprise, "that hardly sounds like you!"

  Cassie laughed. "Well I have had dates, just nothing worth mentioning," she lied.

  Her mother laughed, that did sound like Cassie.

  "How about you? Things going well?” Cassie asked.

  “Yeah, things are great. The Van Dyke’s moved away and there’s this cute young couple there now.”

  “Yeah? How's the house? Everything normal?" Cassie asked without really thinking about what she was saying.

  There was no response for a moment, then, "Cass, what's up?"

  "What? Nothing!"

  "Cassie," her mom said patiently, "Whenever you're upset about something, you call and ask about the house."

  "I do not!"

  “Oh yes you do! It's like you need to be sure nothing is changing back here. Like you want to make sure you haven't forgotten anything again,” she paused. "It's your nervous tick, honey."

  For a moment, Cassie almost denied it. She hated that she was still hindered by the accident. But the hope that her mom had an answer to her dreams pushed her.

  "That's actually why I called," she said quietly.

  "Oh. What is it?" Her mom asked warily.

  "Look, I know you and dad told me everything you thought was important from before but…." She was hesitant. Her mother hated talking about this. "I think I'm going to find a doctor out here to talk to. To try to help me remember."

  "What? Since when have you wanted a shrink?" Her mother was immediately worried.

  "I’ve told you before. The stuff you’ve told me is not enough. It doesn't feel complete."

  "Of course it doesn't, honey. You don't remember the first fifteen years of your life! Just tell me what's missing... maybe I can help." Her mother was adamant that Cassie didn’t need any help. Not for her depression and not for her memory.

  Cassie sighed, "Okay. Lately I've been having dreams, but they feel different somehow. And everyone around me is speaking French. I thought it was just gibberish at first, but one of my friends speaks French and she recognized the words I’m dreaming." She paused, she felt crazy. "I'm dreaming in French!"

  There was silence on the other line.

  "Mom?"

  "You speak French?" Her mother murmured. "And you never noticed?"

  "No, of course not. I don't understand the words, but I repeated some for a girl in my building, Emily, and they are real, accurate sentences,” she paused, unsure. "But it’s not possible that I speak French. Right?"

  "No." Silence.

  "Well did we ever go to France or somewhere?"

  "No." A long pause, "We may have gone to a French festival or restaurant, but I can't recall when. What happens in the dreams?" She sounded concerned.

  "Nothing unusual. In one I was eating with English-speaking friends. No one I recognize."

  "How old are you? 12, 14?"

  "No, I'm about the same as now. Give or take a year." Before she discarded the idea with incredulity, she wondered if she was seeing the future.

  "You’re probably just remembering French spoken from a movie or something." Her mother’s voice unexpectedly sounded relieved.

  "I don't know. I'm also in the Louvre in one."

  After a few moments of silence her mother responded. "Maybe you wrote a report on the Louvre?” Her mom said questioningly, then gaining confidence. “Yes, I’m sure you did. I think it was for your art class in ninth grade. It must have been just before..."

  "I don't suppose you have it."

  "No."

  Cassie had known this. Her mother saved all her work and awards after the accident, but nothing before.

  "Sorry sweetheart, I just didn't feel the need to save your things back then." Cassie's mom correctly interpreted her lack of response.

  "I know. And I'm sorry to bring all of this up."

  "I'm sorry you've forgotten so much. But do you feel better now?"

  "Mom, look. I want to go talk to someone. I'm remembering things. I want to get help to remember more,” Cass said, feeling she knew the response.

  "Oh, Cass. You’re not remembering things. They’re just dreams. You don't want to bring this up again! You've successfully moved on with your life. Don't let this hold you back!"

  Cassie slumped into her chair. This was her mom's typical response, and why Cassie hadn’t bothered bringing it up for the past two years. Even when it had first happened, her mom was adamant that they move forward. All Cassie remembered of her life and her family started on the day she woke up in the hospital. Everything else was blank. And her mother was always trying to help her move on, to just leave everything forgotten.

  "I’m finally remembering a few things. Maybe this means I could remember more!"

  "Cass..." she sighed, “Why do you want to stir this pot again? We've closed it and moved on!"

  "It is not enough to just hear a few memories! I want to remember!"

  "I know. And maybe it’s almost time. But I don't want it to distract you and cripple you from finishing your degree. Remember what happened when your father died?"

  Cassie flinched. “That was different. I haven’t had any problem with school other than that semester.”

  "Please. Just wait until you finish. That's only a few months from now."

  Cassie didn't respond.

  "Please," her mom said again, her voice trembling.

  "Are you afraid of me remembering something?” Cassie asked, giving voice to the concern that had been lurking at the back of her mind since she could remember.

  No response.

  Cassie sat up straight. “What?"

  "The accident," her mom whispered.

  "Why? What happened?" Cass asked, excited.

  "I don't know,” she said, still whispering, "You…you left for school in the morning, and we didn't hear from you until the police called that night."

  Cassie talked quickly; she had never gotten even this much before, "I was in a car accident. Where was I going? Was I alone?"

  "I have no idea. We never knew where you’d been that day. You were in the passenger seat, either you’d moved over or the driver was gone."

  “Whose car was it?” She asked eagerly.

  “We never found out. It wasn’t registered properly, and it was never claimed.”

  "I don't understand. What would be wrong with remembering the answers?" She asked, bewildered. She treasured this little knowledge her mother had told her, she was hungry for more. "Mom? What's wrong?"

  "When we were allowed into your room, you just kept saying, 'He'll find us, he'll find us. We have to get away. You have to get away,'" her mom said tearfully. "You were so dazed. And terrified.”

  “What?”

  “And you didn't even know who we were. They found you 100 miles away from our home. It didn't make any sense even then,” her mom added hurriedly.

  "Who is he?”

  “I—" Her mom faltered. “I don’t know. We never knew.”

  “That’s awful. Is that why you moved right after?"

  "Not entirely. We moved for a few reasons. First, your dad really did have a job offer. Also, we didn't want you to become an oddity at school. And we were worried that someone really was after you. So we moved,” her mom said.

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

  “I was afraid. I didn’t want you to be scared, too. You
were so terrified that night. But when you finally woke up you had no memory of it. We thought maybe you were repressing. Your father and I decided it would be best if we didn’t bring it up again.”

  They both sat quietly for a couple of minutes, her mom sniffing; Cassie was wrapped up in thought.

  "I don't think it would be good for you to worry about this when you're in your hardest classes," she said. Cassie heard her nose blow. "Please. Promise me you will finish school before going to a professional."

  "You really think that's necessary?"

  "I'm sure it's best."

  "Maybe you're right. I promise.” Cassie added, “But just until I finish my undergrad."

  "Oh, thank you!" She sounded so relieved.

  "Thank you for telling me what you know, Mom. I actually really need to go. I've already talked to you for too long."

  "Okay. Thank you for calling. I love you."

  "You too, Mom. I'll talk to you soon. Bye." Cassie hung up feeling ecstatic and confused. She had always wondered, but her parents just said it was an accident and they found her in the hospital. Where was I going? What was I even like back then?

  Her parents moved to her father's new job two months later. Recovering from a concussion and trying to restore her memory with her mother, she had never gone back to the school she had been attending. Consequently, she had no old friends to question, and no one ever visited or checked on her. She didn’t even have any family other than her parents to help her.

  The conversation had left Cassie with a nagging feeling that her mom wasn’t being completely honest with her. She’d often felt like that when she tried to get her parents to talk about her past, but she had no solid proof of anything. Knowing there was nothing she could do about it just then, she put it out of her mind, and got up to head to breakfast.

  Chapter 3: Introductions

  Despite the beautiful spring weather, Cassie spent most of the morning and all of the afternoon in the library. After finishing her chemistry project, she checked everywhere she could think to look for some sort of record of her car accident. She found nothing.

  "This is strange," she murmured to herself. "Shouldn't the story of an unexplained car accident, complete with missing driver and a girl with amnesia, be big news?"

  In the end, she decided it must be because she didn't have enough information. All she had to go on was that it had happened in September somewhere within one hundred miles of her home in southern Virginia. She wasn't even sure where that home was.

  Around three o’clock her phone rang.

  “Cassie!”

  “Oh, hi Zach. What’s up?” Cassie said absentmindedly as she shuffled through a few more papers.

  “Not much. I just talked to Jenna and she seemed to think things were better with you. If I asked you to hang out, would you blow me off again?”

  Immediately, Cassie felt guilty. Zach was a good friend, and she knew it was hard on him when she spiraled downward. “Of course not! I’m sorry, Zach. I just—”

  “I know. It’s okay. I’m sorry for asking like that.” He fumbled a bit on the other end before continuing. “So, there’s-- the Arts department is putting on a play tomorrow, you interested?”

  “Yeah, that’d be great!” Cassie answered hurriedly.

  “You don’t even know what it is yet!” Zach laughed at her.

  “So? It’s with you. It’ll be fun,” Cassie answered light-heartedly.

  “Great!” His exuberance made Cassie feel worse. She really shouldn’t neglect her friends. “The play’s The Scarlet Pimpernel, and it’s at 8:30. We can have dinner first.”

  “I’ll be looking forward to it,” she said, determined to make it up to him.

  At six o'clock she finally gave up her search. She was supposed to meet her friends for dinner and then a girl’s night. She’d promised she’d come, but no one put much stock in her promises and therefore they wouldn’t wait for her. She hurried home, to see Jenna with her group of friends sitting in a corner of the cafeteria.

  "Hey Cass!" Hannah, her next-door neighbor shouted. "Don't bother with the dinner line! It's meatloaf."

  She bypassed the line. "Oh yuck. Thanks. I'll just go grab something from the dessert line, then I'll come join you." She picked up some pudding and cake and went to sit next to the girls.

  "That's healthy,” Kari, an exercise science major pointed out. She tried to get the rest of them to eat better.

  "Yeah, I know. But "meat" loaf?" Cass shuddered. Then, muffled by cake, "So what's the plan?"

  "We're going to go pick out two movies. Double feature movie night!" Hannah answered.

  "And for once everyone is coming!" Jenna said to Cassie with a sassy cock of her head, which Cass ignored.

  "You know what?" Kari said, "Let's go to the grocery store and buy some real food. I don't think I can survive on this salad."

  "That's not a bad idea,” Emily agreed. "Let's get cookie dough and ice cream, too."

  "Sounds good,” Jenna said. Then, in an aside to Cass she asked, "Did you talk to your mom?"

  "Yes," she said shortly. Cassie didn't share her past with many people. Jenna only knew because they became friends in the year after the accident, and Cassie had to explain why she didn't know anything about the past 15 years in popular culture, or in her life.

  "Well? Did she understand?"

  "Later," she said, aware that Emily was watching them. "Anyone have any dates for this weekend?"

  "Ha. No. I can do girls’ nights whenever you guys want!" Jenna said grinning.

  Emily rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

  “I hate to agree with Emily, but I know there were two guys lingering in the lobby last night, asking about you,” Kari said. “Girl, why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

  Jenna blushed and changed the subject.

  One hour and a stop at a local sandwich café later, they were in the frozen food aisle arguing over which ice cream flavor to buy.

  "Oh come on! I had chocolate cake and chocolate pudding for dinner! Let's tone it down and get cookies and cream," Cassie said.

  "Cookies and cream? Versus double chocolate brownie fudge? What planet are you living on?" Hannah asked. “Besides, you had a salad at the café. You’ll handle it.”

  The other three abruptly silenced, and Cass turned to find out why. There was a group of three guys standing a dozen feet away listening.

  "Hey," Jenna said quietly to Hannah, who hadn't noticed, "See those guys?”

  "Ooo, they’re looking at us,” Hannah whispered back. Then she said loudly, gesturing them closer, “Hi boys!"

  "Hannah!" Emily exclaimed in horror.

  "Oh, live a little!" Hannah said to her. The group of boys sauntered over to them.

  "Hi! What are you girls doing with ice cream tonight?" A tall, attractive dark-skinned boy asked.

  "Just watching a couple of movies,” Jenna informed them.

  "Want to join us?" Hannah asked. Kari elbowed her and Emily glared.

  "We'd love to. I’m Chris, this is Paul and John,” another boy said, pointing to himself, the tall dark man, and the other one, respectively.

  "Fantastic! Do you know where Manor Park is?" Cassie asked, with sudden inspiration.

  "Yes,” Paul said; his dark eyebrows rose questioningly.

  "We'll meet you there in an hour. South of the pavilion,” she said.

  "We'll be there," Chris assured them.

  "Do you mind if I bring some cookies and cream?" Paul asked, with a wink at Cassie.

  “That’d be great." She smiled.

  The boys grabbed their ice cream and left.

  "We don't know them at all. Are you crazy?" Emily asked Hannah.

  "Am I crazy? No. But I think Cassie is." She looked to Cassie for some explanation. "What exactly are we doing at Manor Park at seven o’clock p.m.?"

  "Watching movies, of course! I happen to know there is an outlet behind the pavilion, and that Kari has a TV," Cassie said, feeling smug. And it’s quite
public.

  "Props, Cass!" Jenna said. "Where else could we fit eight people? Certainly not in one of our shoebox rooms."

  "Hopefully ten. I gave them an hour. That should be enough to scare up two more guys,” Cassie said.

  It actually took them until 7:30 to retrieve Kari's television, and then pick out two movies that would be appropriate for the occasion. If they thought picking out ice cream was hard, they should have expected movies to be worse. But eventually they reached a consensus and rushed over to the park. The park, however, was empty when they arrived, so they set out the things they had brought: blankets to sit on, bowls and spoons for the ice cream. The girls were just struggling to get the TV out of the car when another car pulled up.

  "Hey!" Someone yelled playfully out of the window. "Put that down!"

  "Excuse me?" Cassie yelled back.

  The car turned off and several masculine shapes emerged.

  "We're coming!" Paul jogged up to her as he said it. He and someone she didn't recognize took the set from her and Hannah.

  "Thanks boys,” Hannah said grinning at Cassie. There were five guys now.

  Cassie grinned back. "I want some ice cream. You guys bring your share?"

  "Sure did."

  "Well then, follow me!" Cassie led Paul to the pavilion. "Want some chocolate fudge?" She asked, brandishing a scooper and picking up the carton closest to her.

  "Double chocolate brownie fudge to you!" Chris flashed a smile at Hannah.

  "That's right!" She agreed. "We haven't introduced ourselves. I'm Hannah. The tall brunette is Cassie, curly blond is Jenna, Emily is next to her and the redhead is Kari."

  "Nice to meet you all,” Paul said. "I suppose we have newcomers to introduce. The short one talking to Kari is Ron. And Kyler is somewhere around here. Where'd he go?"

  "I'm right here,” a quiet voice behind Cassie said. When she heard it, her body stiffened and she felt her hair rise on her neck. Brushing it off, she turned to respond with friendliness. However, her astonishment at the man behind the voice stopped her words. It was the man she’d seen watching her a couple of times a few weeks earlier.

  "Hey! I remember you!" Jenna said. Cassie wished she could stop her from saying anything. She felt so stupid. "You were in the food court!"