Touch Him (ManTrap Book 3)

by Olivia Jaymes

  This obviously came as a surprise to Emmy since the topic had never come up before.

  "It's not that I don't like it." Emmy sighed and pulled the lapels of her jacket closer around her neck. "It's just...okay, here it is...I'm a terrible singer."

  Dan grimaced. "Like a little off-key kind of bad or so bad that people mistake you for a dying cat kind of bad?"

  This time Lisa elbowed her new husband. "Honey, that was very rude."

  Emmy shook her head. "No, it's fine. Sadly, it's more like the latter. I can't carry a tune in a bucket, so to speak. I've always wished I could sing but I just can't. I do sing in the car but I'm alone. That's my strict policy. I don't inflict my voice on innocent human beings."

  The last thing I wanted was to make Emmy uncomfortable. Karaoke wasn't that important.

  "We don't have–"

  "We can go," she said quickly. "As long as you're okay with me not singing. I'll just enjoy everyone else."

  "It's fine," I assured her. "Even if you could sing like Adele, we wouldn't force you."

  "If I could sing like Adele, wild horses couldn't keep me off the stage," Emmy declared. "So what are we waiting for? Let's go."

  Emmy

  True to his word, Owen didn't try to get me to go onstage to sing, thank goodness. I still remember in second grade being placed in the back row and told to just mouth the words when the class was supposed to get up in front of the school and sing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”. My mom had bought me a brand-new outfit in Christmas red for that assembly and I thought I was really stylin'. I never did tell her that I wasn't actually singing. I didn't want her to be disappointed.

  Luckily, the entire atmosphere of the club was laid back and relaxed. More upscale than the usual college watering hole, the entire place was done up in dark oak - floor, tables, and chairs. The small stage was on the far wall with one lone spotlight illuminating the entertainers.

  The clientele was well-behaved and supportive no matter how bad the singer, which I thought was nice of them. One young woman basically destroyed “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” but no one booed, instead politely clapping when she was done. Perhaps they were applauding the fact that she wasn't singing anymore. I sipped at my glass of wine as Lisa and Dan went up on stage and sang an amazing rendition of “Don't Go Breaking My Heart”. They were truly talented, and they made the most adorable couple ever. They were meant for each other.

  I couldn't stop, however, an image of Shelby and Brad drifting through my brain. They'd been happy once too, and now look at them. Or at least, look at Shelby. She was a mess. She was a freakin' professional in relationships and she'd still been blindsided.

  Maybe being lucky in love was completely random. It didn't matter who or what you were, you weren't in charge. It was the arbitrary nature of the universe that decided whether you got true love or got dumped. A person might do better playing roulette in Vegas.

  Do ya' feel lucky, punk?

  Did I?

  Clearing his throat, Owen dropped a quick kiss on my lips before standing. Even just that brief touch sent a quick zip of electricity up my spine. "It's my turn so I guess I better do this. If I'm bad, I give you all permission to pretend you don't know me."

  I would never do that.

  He bounded up the three steps to the stage and stood in front of the microphone. All alone up there. It took balls, I'd give him that.

  "I wouldn't stand up there and sing for all the money in the world," I vowed. "As in never ever."

  "I bet you're not as bad as you think," Lisa said excitedly, grabbing my hand. "But he's really good."

  "I am as bad as I think."

  Owen, on the other hand, was better than I'd expected. Really, really good. He sang the rock ballad “Amanda” from the seventies band Boston. His gaze never left mine as he sang and my heart squeezed painfully in my chest the whole song. It was clear he was singing those loving lyrics to me. Me. I'd never had a man do anything more romantic in my entire efficient and practical life.

  Do ya' feel lucky, punk?

  Good question.

  Don't fall for the magic. It lies.

  Was I being played for a fool?

  Flowers, candy, and love songs. It's the oldest game in town.

  I'd always been good at games.

  That squeezing in my chest had given way to a feeling of desperate panic. My pulse racing and my breathing shallow, I greeted Owen as enthusiastically as I could, but deep inside I was looking at him with suspicion. When was he going to pull the rug from under me?

  Do ya' feel lucky, punk?

  No, I wasn't going to let doubt creep in. He'd just sung a love song to me.

  Fuck you.

  No, fuck you.

  It was like having an optimist and pessimist on my shoulders, each one shouting in my ear trying to get me to believe that their truth was the only truth. I wanted to brush them away and tell them to leave me the hell alone.

  "I need some air," I announced loudly as Owen ordered us another round. I jumped up from my chair, anxious to get some space around me. I needed to run away from my thoughts, but I had a feeling they'd only follow me. "And the ladies room. Wherever it is."

  "I'll go with you," Lisa said, gathering up her purse. "I can direct you. It's near the front doors."

  I couldn't be rude and tell her that I didn't want company so I instead smiled and thanked her. Turning to go, I was stopped by Owen's fingers gently wrapping around my wrist.

  "How about a kiss before you go?"

  "Of course," I replied, obediently bending down to brush my lips against his. They were warm and firm, tasting of the craft beer he'd been drinking. "I'll be right back."

  I followed Lisa to the ladies room, shutting myself into a stall so I could have a moment. Just a minute to breathe. In the main room it had felt like the walls were closing in on me. So many questions, so many doubts. I knew how I felt about Owen and I wanted to believe that he felt the same.

  Taking another cleansing breath, I stepped out of the stall and stood next to Lisa who was freshening up her lipstick. With hands that trembled visibly, I did the same.

  "Owen looks really happy," Lisa said, capping her lipstick and dropping into her bag. "He's a great guy and you two make a terrific couple. If I'd known you two would hit it off like this, I would have introduced you to him months ago."

  "He's a great guy," I agreed, trying to control my shaking fingers. This wasn't what I'd wanted when I'd walked away from the table. I'd wanted space and Lisa telling me how wonderful Owen was... That was pressure.

  "He's one of a kind," Lisa went on, fluffing her long hair. "Kind, smart, and successful. He's been looking for the right woman for a long time. I know that he's ready to settle down. He's tired of the dating games."

  Jeebus on a cracker, what did she want me to say? Was I supposed to gush and tell her how much I loved him? I liked Lisa a whole lot but I wasn't the gushing or confessing type with people I wasn't close to. Shelby, Ashlyn, or Mia might get me to spill my guts but it wasn't happening in this public bathroom.

  "I think we all are when we get over thirty."

  A nice, neutral answer.

  Lisa pushed open the door and the sounds of the nightclub rushed in to the bathroom, echoing off the walls. It was time to go back to the table. I couldn't think of any reason not to other than I wasn't ready. Could I fake a heart attack? The way it was pounding I think I could do it.

  We stepped out into the hallway that led to the main room. Lisa slung her purse over her shoulder and gave me a wide smile. "I just want to say how happy Dan and I are that you and Owen have found each other."

  I was found. Had I been lost? Had Owen been lost? Was this more of the magic of love stuff? You could walk around lost but get yourself some love and you're found. Praise Cupid.

  "I like Owen a lot," I heard myself saying. "But right now I'd describe our relationship as casual. You know what I mean."

  If Lisa did, she didn't get a chance to say so a
s we walked through the small foyer of the club. The world turned upside down when my eyes met Owen's standing in that doorway to the outside, phone in hand. He must have exited to take a call because a person couldn't hear a thing inside.

  He didn't look happy.

  Fuck, this wasn't good. Had he heard what I'd said or was he just pissed off because of the conversation he'd just ended?

  I had a feeling I was going to find out.

  Shit and double shit. I could explain. I didn't mean what he thinks I said. Right?

  Chapter 24

  Owen

  Casual. Emmy had called our relationship casual. It was like a knife in my heart.

  I'd walked back into the club after taking a phone call only to hear the woman I adored and loved calling what we had casual. As in non-important. No big deal. Practically a friendship. It fucking hurt.

  Hoping I'd heard wrong, I didn't say anything to her about it for the rest of the evening. By ten we were all ready to go home, so we bid Dan and Lisa goodbye and I bundled Emmy into the car. The drive back to her place was quiet and I could feel the tension build with every passing traffic light. When we reached her place, I still didn't know exactly what I was going to say but I wasn't one to sweep issues under the rug. Maybe it was the psychologist in me but I was all about airing things out. Talk and resolve.

  "Do you want a beer or a glass of wine?" she asked me as we shed our coats. She'd barely looked at me in the last hour and a half. "You can turn on the television of you like."

  "I don't really want to watch tv," I replied, watching her flit around the room turning on lamps and plumping throw pillows. She was nervous and so was I. This was our first big discussion as a couple. "I think we should talk, Emmy."

  "That's never a good statement," she said, her voice shaky. "What do you want to talk about?"

  "What you said to Lisa tonight," I replied, settling onto the couch. If I had a relaxed demeanor, I hoped that she would relax as well. "I'll admit that it upset me, Emmy."

  I kept my tone even, not wanting to heighten the tension any more than it already was. I wanted to discuss this like two adults. I wasn't looking to start an argument.

  This time Emmy did sit on the couch but just out of arm's reach. "I didn't mean to upset you."

  She sounded like a prim schoolmarm. Not a good sign.

  "Can you tell me in what context you said we were only casual? Because I'd hoped we had moved beyond all of this."

  The key word being hoped.

  Her fingers tightly laced together, Emmy answered. "Lisa was saying that she thought we made a nice couple and that she and Dan were so glad that you and I had found each other. Honestly, it felt like she wanted me to speak about our relationship and I'm not comfortable revealing intimate details to just anyone. My close friends are one thing but Lisa and I don't have that sort of friendship. So I guess I just wanted to say something to get her to back off a little bit."

  That wasn't so bad. Emmy definitely was not the type of female that divulged intimate secrets to someone in the ladies' room of a nightclub. It was one of the reasons that I'd fallen for her. She had an innate class that I admired.

  "And of course," Emmy went on. "We haven't been dating all that long. I mean...less than a month so it didn't seem out of line to say that we were at a casual stage."

  It wasn't at all out line but it was far from how I felt about Emmy.

  "I can understand why you said what you said. Lisa had had a few drinks so she may not have realized how she was coming across."

  Emmy nodded in agreement. "I'm not saying a word against Lisa. She's a real sweetheart. I just think we might have a different attitude about sharing personal information, that's all. Are we okay? I truly didn't mean to upset you."

  "It's fine," I assured her because it was. All of my doomsday thoughts during the drive here had turned out to be false. Scooting across the couch cushions, I lifted her onto my lap, kissing her deeply, our tongues coming out to play. "If they only knew just how far from casual we really are. You make me crazy, Em."

  She pressed a series of kisses on my jawline while her fingers tangled in my hair. My cock jumped behind my fly, instantly ready for action. As always with this woman.

  "You make me crazy, too," she giggled, plucking at a button on my shirt.

  The feel of Emmy in my arms was overwhelmingly pleasurable. She was the one that I'd been waiting for all of this time.

  "I'm so glad you did Dan and Lisa's wedding, and I'm so glad that we met." I captured her lips again, pulling her as close to me as possible. "Emmy, I love you."

  Honestly, I hadn't been planning to say it but it had come tumbling out of my mouth and now that I'd said it out loud, I didn't regret it. It was the way that I felt, dammit. I loved Emmy. It was the truth and I wasn't going to take it back.

  I don't know what I thought would happen after I'd said it. Maybe that she'd kiss me and tell me she loved me, too. Then she'd drag me back into her bedroom and we'd shag until dawn.

  Neither of those things happened.

  Emmy pulled back and stared at me, her eyes wide in...fright? Surprise? It sure as shit wasn't happiness because if anything she appeared to be distressed by my admission.

  This had been going well until I opened my big damn mouth. Fuck. My heart had stopped beating in my chest and I held my breath waiting for her reply.

  No going back. I could only plow forward. The first question on my lips was the most difficult.

  Did she love me, too?

  I didn't ask it. Because I was too busy holding my breath.

  "Are you okay?"

  It was the second question that came to my mind because Emmy looked like she wanted to pass out, vomit, or cry. Not necessarily in that order.

  She nodded but her gaze had shifted away from me. Well...fuck. I knew where this was going.

  "I'm fine. I just...wow...I wasn't prepared for that."

  Clearly. Now I felt like a fucking idiot.

  But I would have sworn that she felt the same. Where had I gone wrong?

  "I'm not trying to pressure you." I really wasn't. "I kind of thought you might feel the same."

  I'd seen it in her eyes, dammit. I wasn't some teenage boy who didn't have a clue. I was a grown ass man that had been around people in love pretty much my entire career.

  "I think maybe you do love me, Emmy. Does that sound terrible? I'm not trying to be a jerk, it's just that I've seen love a lot in my life and I think we've got it right here. What we have is special."

  "It is," she agreed readily. "It definitely is."

  Okay, that wasn't so bad.

  I was nervous so I started to ramble a bit.

  "We're adults, honey, and we don't need months and months to figure out how we feel about each other. When you find the one, you just know."

  "You're right."

  She was agreeing with her mouth but her body language wasn't following suit. What was going on here?

  "Emmy," I said gently, rubbing her back with my palm and trying to put her at ease. She was holding herself so stiffly. "Am I pushing you too hard? Just tell me to back off."

  Lifting her gaze to mine, she opened her mouth to speak but then closed it again. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears and I felt about two inches tall. I'd fucked up and now I felt terrible. I could clearly see the battle she was fighting inside. Whatever she wanted to say, she was barely holding it in.

  "You need to express yourself, honey. Say whatever it is that you want to say. I can take it."

  "Shelby," she croaked, a few of those tears spilling over and sliding down her creamy cheeks. I reached up to brush them away but she shook her head, sitting up and moving to another chair. Whatever she wanted to say she needed some space to do it.

  "What about Shelby, honey? I know you're worried about your friend but she's going to be fine. She's a strong woman. It may take some time but she's going to get through this."

  Dashing away her tears with the back of her hand, Emmy took a
deep breath and sat up straight. "It's just that if Shelby can be heartbroken, what chance do the rest of us mere mortals have? I mean...is it all just random? Is it a game of chance? There doesn't appear to be any rhyme or reason to who gets true love and who doesn't."

  "Shelby just made a bad choice. I think when she's had some time she'll look back and tell you there were warning signs."

  Emmy seemed to jump on that statement, leaning forward in eagerness. "When? When were these so-called warning signs? And if she was a professional, why didn't she see them? Fuck, Owen, she wrote a book about dating and relationships and hers crashed and burned spectacularly."

  "I don't know when the signs would have shown themselves," I explained slowly, watching Emmy's expression closely while my heart sank to my stomach. We were back to where we started. We hadn't made any progress at all. "And as for why she didn't see them, she was too close. It's much easier to step back and be unbiased when it isn't about you."

  "Exactly," Emmy said immediately. "You can't be unbiased in your own relationship. You can only hope and pray that you haven't fucked up. That doesn't seem like a great way to run your life."

  It was frustration that made the next words pop out of my mouth.

  "You mean it's not efficient?"

  She sat up straight in the chair and glared. "If you want to know the truth, then yes. It's not very efficient or practical. It sucks, actually. A person can do everything right and still get punched in the heart. What kind of world is that?"

  "I'm sure you've seen–"

  "You have no idea what I've seen," she interrupted, her lips pressed together in a thin line. "I've comforted both brides and grooms when they've been left high and dry. You know what they all ask? What did I do wrong? I never know what to tell them. I can only say that I don't think they did anything wrong. So what did Shelby do wrong, Owen? What did she do to deserve this? What did they all do to deserve this? I need to know."

  "Shelby didn't do anything and neither did those brides and grooms. But that can't be all you've seen. I know that you've had happy, loving couples that are still married. You told me that you've done fifty-year wedding anniversaries and baby showers. Aren't those people happy?"