Love is Fear

by Caroline Hanson

“Yes,” she said hesitantly.

  “Do it.”

  “I need to lay down to do it. Lay down or fall down.”

  “Would you rather be carried?” Lucas asked.

  “No. No, thanks.” She seemed nonplussed and Valerie wondered at the byplay. Whatever the reason was for her not wanting to be in Lucas’ arms, it was clearly something that she had a strong reaction to.

  Rachel was many things, but afraid of Lucas didn’t seem to be one of them. She back-talked and seemed to relish being insolent.

  Rachel lay down on the ground, propping her back against a tree trunk. She laced her fingers in her lap and then looked up at Lucas. “It takes a lot of energy,” she said quietly.

  Lucas nodded, faint lines bracketing his mouth. Valerie knew she was missing something, but she didn’t know what.

  Rachel closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Then another. Val and Jack exchanged a ‘now what? ’ expression. Two gray wolves appeared out of thin air, taking shape beside Rachel.

  The shape was right, but they were like ghosts, their bodies see through. They leapt off, each of them going in different directions, bounding silently through the forest.

  “Jesus Christ,” Jack muttered, pacing away from Lucas and Val.

  Rachel stayed propped up against a tree trunk with her eyes closed, but it didn’t look like she was sleeping. There was no one home. The spark of vitality was gone, and her skin was chalky and lifeless. She looked dead.

  Minutes passed, and Valerie could see the storm moving closer to them. As if a giant was dropping a white sheet over everything and blanketing the forest in sections. They needed shelter before the storm hit. The temperature began to drop, and she could see her breath fogging in front of her, felt her hands go numb. Val jumped in place, trying to get warm.

  Lucas was almost as still as Rachel while they waited. Val had the urge to throw a rock at Lucas or do something to get him to move. Looking at him when he became statue- still creeped her out. It wasn’t hot. She closed her eyes and thought about him, what he might be feeling.

  Nothing. But when she opened her eyes, Lucas was watching her. Had he felt her reach out to him? She gave him a small smile, almost apologetic, and then turned back to Rachel.

  Rachel’s skin was gray, the flesh under her eyes sunken and the greeny-blue quality of her veins more pronounced. As though her flesh had thinned and the trace amounts of fat that kept her skin young-looking, and healthy, were gone.

  Her eyes flicked open as she stared sightlessly into the distance. It reminded Val of a doll that would open its eyes when she turned up-right. She’d had one of those. It had blinked on its own and scared the crap out of her.

  Rachel gasped. Like her soul was thrust back into her body, and the only way to keep it there was to lock it in with air.

  “Where?” Lucas instantly asked.

  “That way.” She pointed to the left, almost horizontal to the storm. Her voice was grating and rough, like she’d been searching for water for days and only found more sun.

  “What is it?” Lucas asked.

  “A cottage.”

  “Inhabited?”

  “I don’t think so. But I couldn’t tell because the doors and windows were covered. I can’t go through something closed.”

  “Can you walk?” Lucas asked.

  Rachel’s eyes were very wide. And she looked like hell. She licked her lips quickly, before turning away. “I need time.”

  Lucas dropped to his knees beside her, arm extended towards her, palm up so that his wrist was before Rachel’s face. Val could see his back, knew he’d positioned himself on purpose—to keep Val and Jack from seeing some of what they were doing. A hint of privacy.

  “The time for hiding is done. You are what you are,” Lucas said quietly.

  Rachel’s expression was almost sad. And Val wondered at their relationship again. Rachel nodded, watched the wrist Lucas extended towards her with banked desire.

  “I can bite? I mean, you don’t want to—” She seemed uncertain.

  “Would you prefer me to make the wound?” he asked, almost surprised.

  She flushed.

  His wrist was to his mouth in an instant, and then it was back, blood glinting in the light. A look of longing crossed Rachel’s face. Her head bowed over him like prince charming about to kiss sleeping beauty—A kiss of adoration without knowledge.

  Her hands came up, cupping his wrist. Then her lips touched his flesh, clamping onto him. His arm was stretched out towards Rachel, and her body still rested against the tree. Neither of them making any effort to get closer to each other. It was as impersonal as possible.

  As clinical as sucking someone’s body fluids could be. Which means really fucking personal.

  Rachel swallowed and made a low, almost sexual sound, deep in her throat. A sound so unequivocally of pleasure that it made a flash of jealousy tear through Valerie like lightning.

  Rachel’s shoulders slumped, and her grip tightened on his arm, trying to pull him closer to her. Her skin changed almost instantly, restored to the state it had been before the invisible wolf business, but better. Her hair was smooth and perfect, and when her eyes flashed open, they sparkled like jewels in the sun. She was not only restored, but amplified.

  “Enough,” Lucas said, and Rachel instantly quit drinking, her head dropping back to the tree, eyes closed as she licked her lips.

  Val looked to Jack, but he wasn’t watching. He was staring at the snow in the distance, arms tight against his chest, a muscle in his jaw jumping. He seemed as uncomfortable as a priest in a sex shop.

  Lucas stood, extending a hand to help Rachael up. She took it and glided off the ground, her body as flexible as a flower in a storm.

  “This way,” Rachel said, her voice husky, and they set off into the woods.

  Chapter 27

  The temperature had plummeted. Their breath fogged, and Val’s legs were tired from the punishing pace. She was also thirsty and hungry.

  Really thirsty and hungry. The storm was almost on them, and everyone was silent as they hurried toward the unseen shelter.

  And then they came to a little clearing in the woods where a cottage stood. It was quiet, and there was something about the little home that made it seem uninhabited. It also looked like it belonged in a fairy tale. “Who’s inside? The witch who cooked up Hansel and Gretel or the big bad wolf?” Val said, teeth chattering.

  Lucas gave Valerie an odd look under his lashes. “As though we would be lucky enough to find food.”

  Val recoiled a little. Is he joking?” Was that a joke?” Val asked.

  “I don’t know,” he said vaguely, attention fixed on the front door and the wooden shutters that covered the windows, “Was it funny?”

  Yeah, kind of.

  “No, it wasn’t,” Jack said, almost vibrating with anger.

  What is he so pissed about? Sure, they were all irritated, impending doom seemed to have that effect on a person, but the rest of them were trying to stay upbeat.

  Val felt a slight sting on her cheek. Snow. They’d only just made it. Val hoped the cottage was empty, because she suspected that Lucas was going to get them in there whether someone put up a protest or not.

  “Give me your scarf,” Lucas said, hand extended.

  The question was unexpected. “Why?”

  “The metal on the door handle is silver. It will burn my flesh if I touch it without a barrier.”

  She unwound her scarf from her neck and handed it to him. Lucas wrapped it around his hand and reached for the door handle. The door opened easily.

  “Why does that seem ominous? I almost wish we’d had to break in,” Jack said quietly.

  Lucas stepped into the cottage, gesturing for them to wait while he checked it out. Jack stepped towards the door, a knife in hand, but Rachel caught his arm. “What do you think you’re doing? If there is something in there, he can deal with it.”

  Jack’s jaw was tight, his arm rigid. “I can help.”
>
  “No. You’d die,” she said firmly, grip tightening. “I am stronger than you will ever be, and he makes me look like a child. You leave the dangerous things to us, or it’ll be aone-way trip to the land of Tinkerbell for you.”

  Jack jerked against Rachel’s grip, but she didn’t let go. He stepped in towards her, crowding close instead. “Don’t underestimate me,” he said with quiet, angry intensity. Rachel let go, as if she wanted to keep some distance between them.

  “You may come in,” Lucas said from inside the cottage.

  “The vampire invites us in. Now I’ve seen everything,” Jack said, moving out of the way to let Val go first. Rachel cut in front of Jack, going in ahead of him, and Val thought she could hear Jack’s teeth grinding in irritation.

  It was dark inside the cottage. Dark and small. There were two rooms. The main room had two wooden chairs, a hearth with a kettle on a black spit, some logs next to the fireplace and a few folded blankets, presumably for sleeping on.

  “Rustic,” Rachel said tonelessly.

  Lucas was kneeling down next to the hearth, building a fire. “I saw no flint,” he said as he tucked pieces of straw carefully into the arranged wood.

  Rachel looked around. “Nope.”

  “What’s in the other room?” Val asked.

  “Hansel and Gretel,” Lucas said, barely pausing as he rubbed two sticks together, inhumanly fast, his arms a blur. There was a curl of smoke, and after a few more seconds, a flame. He touched it to the straw, blowing on it for long moments, tucking in more straw as the flames caught. As if he was tending to a sick child. His movements were slight and careful.

  “Jack. Can you keep the fire going?” Lucas said, not turning away from his task.

  “Yes,” Jack said, a small amount of anger leaking through.

  t="0" w4Good. I shall find more wood. If we are trapped here for a while, we’ll need it. And do not go into the other room until I return.” And then he was out the door and gone.

  Ominous. Maybe it is Hansel and Gretel.

  “What about food and water?” Val asked. “Should I go get snow or something?”

  “Wait for Lucas.”

  “I’m thirsty. I can just put some snow in the kettle, get it melting.”

  “You need to wait.”

  Val walked to the front door, ignoring Rachel. She was thirsty. Rachel moved, appearing in front of her and with a click of her tongue said, “I told you to wait.”

  “What will Lucas do if he comes back and you’ve laid a hand on me?” Val said, beyond irritated. She’d push past Rachel if she had to.

  Rachel smiled. “I can keep you here without violence. And he’d certainly be mad at me if you went out there and—“

  “Enough.” Lucas was back, standing behind Rachel as she blocked the door, his arms filled with firewood. Snow dusted his shoulders and sparkled in his hair. Valerie looked at him and felt a sharp pang in her heart. There was something so human about him carrying firewood. Maybe because he’d carried firewood for centuries, before electricity, and so his comfortableness with the task went deeper than the modern man’s. When doing the task well meant the difference between living and dying.

  Or perhaps it was just the primal knowledge that a man was providing for her and protecting against the elements to keep his woman safe. Now that she had slept with him, she was trying to make him more human. I think I’ve made a huge mistake.

  She remembered telling him she’d fall in love with him, throwing out that awkward piece of information, like having a pair of underpants in the middle of the living room when someone came to visit. Painfully awkward and inexplicable. You will get your heart so broken if you keep this up.

  Jack was frowning at her hard. And Jack might slap me upside the head. Best case scenario.

  The fire was crackling and close to a blaze. Heat spread out into the room, making her muscles thaw. Val sat in one of the chairs, watching Lucas arrange the firewood into a neat pile for later.

  “You’re really settling in,” Jack said flatly.

  “Caution is appropriate.”

  “I’m thirsty,” Val said. If in doubt, don’t let Jack and Lucas interact in any way.

  Jack walked over to the kettle and peered into it. “I don’t know how clean it is, since there doesn’t seem to be anything here invented after the spinning wheel, but I suppose it will have to do.”

  Lucas put his hand to his head, pressing his hand over his eyes as though he was thinking hard or trying to be patient. He stood, and stared at Rachel steadily.

  Val felt lost. What was the problem?

  Rachel shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “I hate it when you two have these big conversations with a look and keep me in the dark,” Val said.

  “Could fire burn the magic off?” Rachel asked tentatively, as though Val hadn’t said a word.

  “The risk is too great. And since the enchantment spreads to food, cooked or raw, I would assume not.”

  Val feared she understood. “Are you two conversationalists saying that we can’t eat or drink anything because we’ll be stuck here?”

  Moving closer to Val, Jack crossed his arms, as though on the alert, ready to protect her. Good luck to him.

  Lucas nodded.

  “I’m lost,” Jack said, unhappy since he was usually the guy who had all the answers. Now he was out of his element. He’d been put in his place by Rachel questioning his physical strength, and now he was behind on the situation. And at the mercy of Lucas.

  “Traditionally, the Fey take people to their land. They can return home on their own so long as they find an exit and do not eat or drink anything enchanted. If they do, they are bound. Water is out. Any food from the land, all hunting, everything,” Rachel explained.

  Val crossed her arms. “How did humans make it out before? If they didn’t eat or drink anything?”

  “We need to find a portal,” Lucas said.

  “I’m already stuck here and bound, right? That was what the dreams were all about. So, how come I can’t drink anything?” Val asked, knowing there was the smallest truckload of whine in her voice.

  Lucas said, “No, you have been claimed through blood, and you are at one Fey’s mercy. Eat or drink from something another has created, and you shall be bound to them as well. But if you drink, you will certainly be at their mercy. Rachel, can you send out your will and locate a portal?” She looked down at the ground and back up, her expression a bit tortured. “I don’t think that will work. I need to be able to feel the portal’s energy. Sending out my consciousness—it’s like a shadow. I can’t touch or feel anything. I’ll try it, don’t get me wrong, but I really don’t think it will work. And it leaves me weak. Even with your blood, it’s the witch power that gets tapped out.”

  “What range could you cover?” Lucas asked.

  She hesitated. “Three, maybe four miles.”

  Lucas shook his head and sat on the floor, legs outstretched and crossed at the ankle. Watching him sit on the ground made Valerie look at him a little longer. Every time he did something human, or normal, she became fascinated by him. Why was that? Because she wanted him to be normal? Or because he was so beautiful that when he did something normal it exacerbated that beauty, made it stand out in contrast. Like giving a black and white TV color.

  “I doubt that would help,” Lucas said. “We were taken here because it’s undoubtedly the farthest from any exit.”

  “So who brought us here?” Val asked, moving to stand closer to the fire.

  Lucas raised both eyebrows as though slightly surprised. “I assume Cerdewellyn brought us here, or his Queen, perhaps. Someone powerful.”

  Rachel went to the door and opened it. The snow had come unnaturally fast, and was waist high. “Well they did an excellent job. We’re not going anywhere anytime soon.”

  A few minutes passed where they all thought about their impending doom. And pizza. But that might just be me, Val thought.

  Jack squeezed the back
of his neck with one hand, a sign of his rising tension. Val realized he was staring at Lucas. Jack took a step back, moving closer to Valerie as though to protect her. What? She looked at Lucas, and he had the cold reptile vibe going on, as though he were conserving energy. One could throw a blanket over him like they’d done to Aunt Edna in Vacation, and no one would know the difference.

  Then Lucas breathed, blinked, and his eyes were suddenly aware again. “This must be related to Valerie. She is the target.”

  “No, she’s the one who bled out. If you’d bled all over the ground maybe you’d be dreaming of flowers,” Rachel said.

  Jack stood beside Valerie, his hand behind his back. Was he touching his gun? She pretended to sneeze, turning a little to see behind him. Sure enough his hand was on his weapon. What the fuck was he thinking?

  “This is fucking fantastic. So what you’re telling me is we have no food or water, we can’t leave because we’re buried in snow, we may never get home again, and some Fey creature is toying with us until we are too weak to fight? Is that it?” Jack’s voice was husky.

  Lucas looked to Rachel as Jack talked, “Do nothing,” he said to her, before turning back to Jack, who was still talking. “And yet the two of you are just fine, is that it? Got the food problem all worked out because of Valerie and I?”

  Jack drew his gun, the small click of the safety being turned off loud in her ears. Jack pointed the gun at Lucas and shifted closer to Valerie, trying to move her behind him. Lucas watched patiently, making no overt gestures.

  He’s one cool cat.

  “I suppose I can’t kill you, but what about her?” Jack said.

  And the gun swung to Rachel.

  Rachel looked genuinely worried, and her gaze flicked to Lucas as though asking him what she could do to defend herself. Lucas had known what Jack was about to do. So why hadn’t he stopped him?” There is another option. And if you attempt to kill Rachel, you will be dead before you can hit her twice.”

  Jack’s jaw was clenched tight, sweat on his brow.

  “Jack, no,” Valerie whispered to him.

  “No! You were right, you make bad decisions around him. I am not food. If we’re going to die, I’m taking one of them with me.”