(Enter GREGG and MARGY, who are greeted by JONES.)
Jones Hello there, lieutenant. Sit down and have a drink. I’ve been looking for you. Say, isn’t that the baby from Montreal? (MARGY turns.) Well, well, if it isn’t the beautiful blonde mamma from Montreal.
MARGY Well, if it isn’t the loud-speaking papa. Who is your friend, Gregg?
Gregg Name is Jones.
MARGY Jones?
Jones Yes, you remember me, baby.
MARGY How could I ever forget you?
Jones That was some wait you gave me that night in Montreal. If the milkman hadn’t spilled the milk on me I’d have been waiting there yet. Now baby, when I got back I rapped on the door … (GREGG stops him.) Say what are you trying to do, high hat me? (Turns to MARGY.) Now listen baby, give us a kiss and we’ll call it quits.
Gregg (Stoppinghim Again) Now take it easy.
Jones What is she, private property?
Gregg No, but don’t get personal.
Jones Yes, but I’m your friend. Gee, if I were only a lieutenant I might stand some chance with her. (Turns to MARGY.) Now listen, kid, I’m different and I work fast.
MARGY Now don’t give me that business.
(Song, “Myilenberg Joys,” and dancing. Applause.)
(MARGY sings “My Sweet Man.” Much applause.)
(MARGY sings and dances to “Shake That Thing.” Applause.)
Condez Ladies and Gentlemen, there will be dancing in the main ball room. There we will have senorita Carmentina and senor Bollontino, entertainment extraordinaire. (Applause and ensemble exits.)
Jones (Starting For Ballroom) Baby, you’d make a bull dog break his chain. (Sees Captain Carter. Drunk sailors exit.) Oh, here comes the Captain.
Captain Carter Ensign—Lieutenant. How do you do, Miss Lamont. Having a good time?
MARGY Yes, indeed.
Condez Capitan, Como esta usted?
Captain Carter Hello, Condez.
Condez Sientese aqui Capitan y Usted teniente aqui.
Captain Carter Thank you. Thank you.
Jones Fix up something for the Captain.
Condez Si, si, oh waiter, clear the table, and give the Captain the best in the house.
(Enter JIMMY STANTON.)
STANTON! Usted conoce a el Capitan, verdad?
JIMMY Hello captain, how are you?
Captain Carter Oh STANTON, come and sit down.
Condez (Rushing To MARGY) Senorita, that is the young millionaire senor STANTON! He is son of the STANTON U.S.A. He is—what you call him—inspector for his father’s plantation. He is a very fine gentleman and he is very wealthy. Ah—si, si, tiene mucho dinero, y ojala tenga la oportunidad de conocerle senorita. Perdone, regreso despues.
Captain Carter (Crossing To MARGY) Miss Lamont, may I present Mr. STANTON.
MARGY Yes, you may.
Captain Carter Mr. STANTON, Miss Lamont. Mr. STANTON, Lieutenant Gregg.
JIMMY How do you do?
(Exit CONDEZ and JONES.)
Captain Carter Pardon me lieutenant, just a moment. (Exit CAPTAIN CARTER and GREGG.)
JIMMY Now don’t think me foolish, but I don’t suppose you remember going up the gangplank on the ship leaving Cuba for Trinidad?
MARGY Cuba for Trinidad? Oh yes, yes.
JIMMY You were talking to a young naval officer.
MARGY Naval officer? Yes, yes.
JIMMY Oh, I shall never forget it. I just stood in the middle of that gangplank like a big sap, and forgot they were waiting to pull it up—and you glanced at me. There was a certain look in your eyes.
MARGY Certain look? What kind of a certain look?
JIMMY I don’t know, but I only hope you don’t look at any other man that way.
MARGY You silly boy.
JIMMY And just now I asked the Captain here who you were. I told him I thought I’d met you in New York. He said that your name was Miss LaMont, and that he didn’t know very much about you except that you were beautiful, and he expected that every man on the ship would want to dance with you. Then I told him that here was one man who did want to dance with you—and then we were introduced.
MARGY Oh, I see.
JIMMY I had to get acquainted with you some way, didn’t I?
MARGY And just what was it about me that attracted you.
(Music. “Always.”)
JIMMY Oh, I—I don’t know, just everything. Your eyes, they’re so marvelous—they’re heavenly and yet again—I’m afraid of them. And your hair—and the way you smile. You know, you are just perfect to me. (He gets up to dance) May I? (Asking for the dance and a kiss. GREGG enters rear on parapet; smoking. He watches them silently.)
MARGY You may.
(They kiss and waltz off toward ballroom. GREGG shrugs and saunters off. Music swells.)
CURTAIN
SCENE TWO
(One week later. Lobby of hotel where JIMMY is staying. Musicians playing “Stars and Stripes.” Curtain up on second chorus.)
(Enter JONES and GREGG.)
Jones What is the idea of running away from the fun, Gregg?
Gregg Oh, you don’t have to follow me, old fellow.
Jones What, leave you alone on your last night in Trinidad? I should say not.
Gregg You’d do me a great favor if you’d slip along and let me have a word with her alone.
Jones What, is she stopping here? Some class to her. So that’s the kind she is, hey? Never mind, old fellow, we’ll find a way to show her up.
Gregg Has it ever occufred to you that a girl may be wanting to go straight?
Jones Straight? Don’t make me laugh.
Gregg Anyway, she’s off the game and she’s off me since she met this STANTON.
Jones He’s that rich guy, isn’t he? She’ll get enough out of him to lay off and live comfortable ever after. Come on, Gregg, I’m going over to the Casino.
JIMMY (Entering From Hotel Left) Hello! Well, well, where have you been keeping yourself? I haven’t seen you in the last few days.
Gregg I’ve been around here. I’ve been rather busy.
JIMMY Getting ready to leave? What is your next port?
Gregg We leave for the States in the morning. It’s my last trip as a naval officer.
JIMMY You don’t mean to say—
Gregg Yes, my last trip. I’ve sent in my resignation.
JIMMY Well, good luck, old man.
Gregg Thanks awfully.
JIMMY I’m leaving for the States myself in the morning. While you’re there, I’m just a short way out and I’d be very glad to have you spend a weekend with me. I’ll show you the finest golf course in Westchester.
Gregg Golf—that’s very interesting. I used to be considered quite a golfer myself.
JIMMY Is that so? What do you go around in?
Gregg About 80.
JIMMY That’s too good for me. Won’t you join me in a little walk?
Gregg In a few minutes. (JIMMY exits rear. GREGG turns to Waiter.) Oh, Waiter, let me have a pencil.
Waiter Yes, sir.
Gregg (Writing On Card) Give this card to Miss LaMont, please.
Waiter Yes, sir.
Gregg Remember. (Exit.) (A waltz plays softly Off stage. Enter MARGY. Waiter gives her card and exits.)
JIMMY (Entering From Rear) Here I am.
MARGY Why, dear, I thought you were down at the ball at the flagship?
JIMMY You wouldn’t go, and I wouldn’t go without you.
MARGY I wasn’t feeling well.
JIMMY If it’s alright now, can’t we still go?
MARGY I’d rather not.
JIMMY Dear, I’m going to leave for the States in the morning. When are you going to promise to marry me?
MARGY Why, we’ve only known each other a week. You don’t know anything about me, who I am, or what I am.
JIMMY You’re the sweetest girl in the world, and that’s all I want to know.
MARGY You’re just a big boy out of college, and you don’t know what you’re talking abo
ut.
JIMMY I do know what I’m talking about. But it’s funny.
MARGY What’s funny?
JIMMY When Dad sent me down here to see how his plantation was running, I didn’t want to come. I didn’t have any idea I was going to bring back the most wonderful wife in the world. (MARGY turns her head away.) Why, dear, you’re not married already?
MARGY Oh no, dear, no.
JIMMY Then it’s all settled.
MARGY Nothing’s settled, only that you go back home, and you’ll promise to think of me sometimes, won’t you?
JIMMY I don’t want to rush you honey, but I’m leaving tomorrow and you’ll say yes—? I always get what I want, and I want you. (Taps bell.)
MARGY Why, what are you doing?
(Enter waiter.)
JIMMY Celebrating our engagement.
Waiter Yes, sir.
JIMMY Bring us a bottle of Pol Roger.
Waiter Yes, sir. (Exits.)
JIMMY Just think of it. Tomorrow we’ll be on our way home. Home, isn’t it glorious?
MARGY What would your folks say?
JIMMY They’d love you because I do.
MARGY I’m not so sure about that.
JIMMY Yes they would. You’re adorable and I love you so much.
Waiter (Enters With Champagne) Yes, sir.
JIMMY Thanks, waiter. I’ll pour it myself.
Waiter Yes, Sir. (Exits.)
JIMMY (Lifting Glass) Here’s to the future and the dearest girl in the world. I’m crazy about you MARGY. There’s not another girl like you.
MARGY Let’s be serious.
JIMMY (He Drinks) Alright now, we’re very serious. (JIMMY drinks several drinks more.)
MARGY Not so fast, dear, take it slow. (She starts to drink.)
JIMMY You little darling, what do you know about drinking?
MARGY (Chokes) Here in the tropics, wine goes to your head, and I want you to know what you’re doing.
JIMMY Alright, now we are serious.
MARGY Suppose you found you’d made a mistake in me?
JIMMY I’m not making a mistake.
MARGY Suppose I’m not all you think I am?
JIMMY Are you trying to frighten me? You can’t do it. All I know is that I love you and you’re going to be mine. Are you satisfied?
MARGY Yes I am.
JIMMY Then it’s yes?
MARGY Yes.
JIMMY Hurrah, I’m the happiest man in Trinidad!
MARGY Honey, not so loud. (They kiss.) You do love me don’t you dear? Tell me, I want to hear you say it again.
JIMMY I love you more than anything in the world—I love you—love you. (MARGY pushes him away. JIMMY is smashed.) Why dear, I’m sorry, you were right. Wine does go to your head in the tropics, I didn’t realize. But say you love me and we leave tomorrow?
MARGY Yes, dear, I’ll go. (He kisses her hand.)
JIMMY I’m off to arrange for the staterooms and I’ll take care of everything.
(Exits.)
MARGY (Starting After Him) Dear, dear …Damn it.
Agnes (Enters) MARGY, MARGY.
MARGY Agnes, Agnes—You poor kid, I thought you went home.
Agnes I did, but you were right. They wouldn’t let me come back.
MARGY What? Your folks?
Agnes When I got back home, Mother was dead. If she had lived it might have been different. But the others—
MARGY They forgive you but they won’t let you forget—Oh what’s the difference? (Pats AGNES on the back.)
Agnes And when I got back to Montreal, Curley was—
MARGY What, another jane?
Agnes No, an overdose of morphine.
MARGY You poor kid. But what brought you here?
Agnes I heard you were following the fleet and doing well—And I thought travelling around would help me to forget.
MARGY But you didn’t—
Agnes No, it’s all too much—My—Mother—(Cough. AGNES is crying.)
MARGY You poor kid—Come on over here and have a drink. Pull yourself together. (Offers her a drink.)
Agnes Thanks. (Drinks.) I been trying to get a chance to talk to you, but the gobs said you were ritzing it.
MARGY So that’s what they think?
Agnes I wanted to tell you that I saw Rocky before I left and I’m afraid that he—
MARGY I don’t want to hear anything about that rat.
Agnes Gee, you must have caught that rich guy you were talking about in Montreal!
MARGY Kid, I could have caught a dozen had I been so inclined.
Agnes And you didn’t?
MARGY No, I did not. I guess I’ve been saved up to try and forget.
Agnes MARGY, you’re in love with someone.
MARGY How did you guess?
Agnes Who?
MARGY A clean boy, Agnes, and he loves me and wants me to marry him. A boy that believes I’m straight.
Agnes My Gawd, that’s wonderful. What are you going to do?
MARGY I’m sending him back to his folks. Sometimes I feel that I should tell him the truth.
Agnes Don’t do that—don’t do that—What he don’t know won’t hurt him.
MARGY You mean I should marry this boy and pretend—No, I can’t. That’s what’s worrying me.
Agnes MARGY, this is your chance! Suppose you tell him, what good would it do? If he really loves you it won’t matter to him what you’ve been, but for God’s sake get out of this life—just look at me—I’m a wreck—my health is all gone—and I’m nothing—(She coughs.)
MARGY Come on, pull yourself together, you’re all to pieces.
Agnes Sometimes I wish I were out of it all.
MARGY Come, Aggie, brace up, I’ve never seen you as bad as this before.
Agnes Marge, promise me you’ll do it, promise me you’ll marry him, you must! God, if I had your chance nothing in the world would keep me from it. Don’t be a fool, it don’t matter what you were—it’s the kind of a wife you make that counts.
MARGY Maybe you’re right.
Agnes I am right! (Coughs.)
MARGY Come on, I can’t let you get away like this. Let me get you a room and some clothes, and get these rags off of you.
Agnes No Marge, what would they think of you if they saw me here—
MARGY The whole hotel is down at the ball on the flagship.
Agnes No Marge, I got to go—I got to walk—I got to think—I may see you later—But I got to go—I got to go—(Exits sobbing.)
Gregg (Enters Right) Hello, Marge, I knew they’d all be down at the ball on the flagship, and I thought this would be a good chance to have a word with you alone. You look pretty well set here.
MARGY Yes, he thinks I’m a tourist. It’s a lot different when they don’t know. You’ve something to say to me, Gregg.
Gregg Yes, that’s why I’m here.
MARGY I know it wasn’t just the right thing to do leaving you like this.
Gregg It’s a hit beyond me old dear, but there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about—The fleet’s leaving port in the morning, and it’s my last trip as a naval officer, then I’m going out to Australia.
MARGY Australia, that’s pretty far, isn’t it?
Gregg Yes, but it’s a place where a fellow and a girl can start a new life out there.
MARGY I see.
Gregg You see what I mean? We could hit it off together.
MARGY No Gregg, I’m through.
Gregg You don’t understand. I mean we’ll get married.
MARGY Thanks, Gregg.
Gregg I’m not so bad, Marge.
MARGY Why you’re the best old scout I ever run into. Sometimes I wonder why you’re where you are.
Gregg It’s a long story, the same old tale, though. Decent folks over in old England, father’s a clergyman, I’m the black sheep—it’s not only girls that drop out of the City Directory, old dear. What do you say to my little idea?
MARGY No Gregg, I couldn’t do it.
Gregg Why I’ve got plenty to live on, a beautiful little white cottage, a garden, and a church—
MARGY My God, you sound like Agnes—I’m sorry Gregg. Two weeks ago I’d have thought that over, but now—I can’t.
Gregg I guess I know.
MARGY What do you mean?
Gregg That youngster I see you walking around with every night since you struck Trinidad. Young STANTON, is n’t he?
MARGY It’s just been kind of a dream, Gregg.
Gregg I thought so. You’ve changed since you met him.
MARGY You don’t understand, Gregg.
Gregg Oh, I’m no fool. Only don’t singe your wings, old dear.
MARGY Singe my wings? Don’t make me laugh.
Gregg Marge, the body doesn’t mean a thing—but when it’s the heart, it hurts.
MARGY What do I know about a heart? To me every man is just an asset.
Gregg Yes, and for this one chap you’re giving up everything—and you say you know nothing about a heart? Why, Marge, ever since Montreal you’ve been mine, and I’ve been yours, all of me, every bit of me. There was a time I could share you with other men, but not now. Why, the thought of it drives me mad, almost. Tell me, do you really want this other fellow? Do you really love him?
MARGY I guess I do.
Gregg So that’s it. And all the time I thought you were only making a play for his money.
MARGY No Gregg, I couldn’t roll him, of all men. From the moment I met him I knew.
Gregg What do you mean?
MARGY I’m beginning to see things different, Gregg, since I met that boy. He made me feel ashamed. He asked me to marry him.
Gregg Haven’t I asked you the same thing? Hasn’t every officer in the fleet offered you the ring? And a dozen rich traders asked you to the altar?
MARGY Yes, but he was the first one who asked me while he was sober.
Gregg And you said yes?
MARGY I’m beginning to see things different, Gregg. Why ever since I’ve been old enough to know Sex I’ve looked at men as hunters. They’re filled with Sex. In the past few years I’ve been a chattel to that Sex. All the bad that’s in me has been put there by men. I began to hate every one of them, hated them, used them for what I could get out of them, and then laughed at them, and then—then he came.
Gregg But what about when you said you loved me? When you held me in your soft arms and kissed me and told me you loved me? Do you think you can get away from me as easy as this. To walk into another man’s life and tell him the same things. Then all the beautiful things you told me you didn’t mean?
Three Plays by Mae West Page 7
