Marion My, what a busy man you must be. (Rises and crosses around above divan.)
ROLLY Yes, it’s damned annoying at times. A fellow doesn’t get any time for recreation at all.
Marion Must be terribly hard on CLAIR.
ROLLY Yes, the poor dear, I feel sorry for her myself sometimes, but business must be attended to. (Crosses to rear—calls off to BARBARA.)We’re ready Aunt BARBARA.
BARBARA (Entering) Here I am.
ROLLY CLAIR wants to see you. She’s in her room. (BARBARA exits upstairs.)
Marion (Rises and crosses to rear exit.) I must say goodbye to Mr. GRAYSON.
ROLLY I guess he’s busy in the library.
Marion Well, I must see him for a moment. (She exits into library.)
ROLLY (Fills Cigarette Case) PARSONS, get everything in readiness for tomorrow night. Serve a buffet supper in the dining room.
PARSONS Will you use the ballroom?
ROLLY No, arrange this room for the dancing.
PARSONS Very well, sir, is that all, sir?
ROLLY Yes, that’s all.
Marion (Entering From Library) A very interesting man, Mr. GRAYSON. (Crosses to front of table.)
ROLLY Yes. How is Kenneth?
Marion He’s fine. He wants to know why you and CLAIR don’t pay us a visit.
ROLLY Yes, we’ll come down sometime, glad to.
BARBARA (Entering Down Stairs) Come on I’m ready. (MARION joins BARBARA. They cross left.)
ROLLY (PARSONS enters.)
PARSONS Yes sir?
ROLLY When Mrs. Kingsbury and Mr. GRAYSON leave, you can lock up. We won’t be home tonight. (BARBARA and MARION exit left.)
PARSONS Very good sir. (Arranges room. ROLLY puts on coat; pauses, looks rear, then upstairs, then exits left.)
GRAYSON (Enters, lights cigarette, goes to piano. PARSONS exits. Lights lower.)
CLAIR (Enters from stairs in evening gown and wraps—she pauses and looks at GRAYSON, crosses and places her cloak on chair—crosses back to GRAYSON then left of center.)
GRAYSON (Rises And Looks At Her) You look beautiful in that gown.
CLAIR Thank you. I’m glad you like it. That’s the first compliment you ever paid me, Allen.
GRAYSON I’ve never dared, but I’ve thought them. Your aunt told me you were contemplating a trip to Europe.
CLAIR Yes, we were planning to go.
GRAYSON I should like to take a trip myself someday when I’ve nothing else to think about.
CLAIR Nothing to think about?
GRAYSON Nothing to think about but you.
CLAIR Why, Allen, what are you saying?
GRAYSON What am I saying? Something I’ve been wanting to say for a long time. The thing that’s been tearing my heart. I’ve struggled long enough to keep from telling you. From the day I met you, you’ve been my inspiration, you’ve been my life. The touch of your hand, the softness of your voice, the very sight of you. God I must have you. (Kisses her.).
CLAIR Sobs with an hysterical joy as GRAYSON mistakes it for something else and feeling ashamed of his emotion, turns downstage.)
GRAYSON (CLAIR Stretches Her Arms Out Toward Him. He Turns And Sees Her And Going Over To Her; Embraces Her Again) I need you, I want you, I love you, God how I love you. (He wraps her in his arms and kisses her passionately.)
CURTAIN
ACT THREE
(Drawing room of ROLLY Kingsbury’s home. As the curtain rises all the guests of the drag are dancing. At the finish of dance, guests all take seats. The DUCHESS in low-cut black evening gown enters from stairs and crosses to left downstage. PARSONS announces as characters come on.)
PARSONS Mr. Swanson, as the DUCHESS.
No. 1 My goodness here comes the DUCHESS.
No. 2 The DUCHESS!
No. 3 The Grand DUCHESS!
PARSONS Mr. Hathaway as the Doll. (CLEM appears at head of stairs and crosses down right)
No. 4 My God that’s CLEM, the Doll.
No. 5 CLEM, the Doll!
No. 6 The Doll! (TAXI-DRIVER makes his entrance.)
No. 7 She picked herself a grand taxi-driver.
No. 8 Taxi-driver!
No. 9 He’s a taxi-driver!
No. 10 Rough trade, dearie!
No. 12 Rough trade!
PARSONS Mr. Gillingwater! (ROSCO crosses down right.)
No. 13 Hullo, ROSCO.
(WINNIE comes down-stage center. Gives her usual scream.)
No. 14 My God, where have you been?
Everybody Hello WINNIE—How are you? How are you?
(CLEM discovers the DUCHESS trying to make the TAXI-DRIVER.)
CLEM Listen, Bargain, if you don’t want me to clean out this joint, lay off of Civic Virtue before I knock you loose from that flat beezer of yours. I’ve got what gentlemen prefer.
Taxi-Drjver What is this power I have?
CLEM It’s certainly not your face, but that’s for me to know and she to find out, after I’m through—If there’s anything left.
DUCHESS You’ll never be like me, WINNIE.
CLEM Sit down, you big Swede!
(Music. “Toe Dance.” Enter Hell’s Kitchen Kate. A scream is heard.)
WINNIE My Gawd, if it isn’t Kate!
Kate How do you do, how do you do—Your face is very familiar but I don’t know where to put it.
WINNIE —Don’t you remember—I’m the girl that jumped out the window when the wagon drove up.
Kate —Oh yes, of course—But dearie, you should have stayed with us. We had a grand time—The police were perfectly lovely to us—weren’t they girls?
Ensemble Yes!
WINNIE They were?
Kate Perfectly lovely, why the minute I walked into jail, the Captain said—Well, Kate what kind of a cell would you like to have? And I says—Oh, any kind will do, Captain, just so it has a couple of peep holes in it. I crave fresh air.
WINNIE My, but you’re getting thin.
Kate I am not. I can at least cling to a man without wearing him out. You’re terribly fat.
WINNIE Fat! I should say not. I’m the type that men prefer. I can at least go through the navy yard without having the flags drop to half mast.
Kate Listen, dearies—pull in your aerial, you’re full of static. I’m just the type that men crave. The type that burns ‘em up. Why, when I walk up Tenth Avenue, you can smell the meat sizzling in Hell’s Kitchen.
(They share cigarettes. Dance to “How Come You Do Me Like You Do.” scream.)
WINNIE By the way, I saw your husband the other day.
Kate Which one, dearie, which one?
WINNIE The bootlegger—and what he told me about you was enough.
Kate What did he tell you?
WINNIE (Whispers.)
Kate (Scream.) I did not. Anyway I only took two puffs off the horrid old thing—and cigarettes make me deathly sick.
WINNIE One never can tell.
Kate Listen girls, let me tell you. (CLEMsings “Goody-goody-good.”)
Kate My dear, I forgot to tell you about my operations. I’ve had so many operations I look like a slot machine. I had my face lifted the other day and when I got home I looked in the mirror and it dropped. Why I have a perfect triangle here.
WINNIE That’s nothing—I have one that’s zig-zag.
Kate That’s nothing, dearie, I have a gash from here to here. (Exit.) (ROLLY strolls over left. CLEM joins him, leaving the TAXI-DRIVER. DUCHESS crosses over right and joins TAXI-DRIVER. CLEM looks around and see’s DUCHESS trying to make the TAXI-DRIVER, rushes over and swings him around to center. The guests all sensing a fight, crowd around. DUCHESS runs off center, followed by CLEM and the guests. (A fight Off stage). After a few seconds, DUCHESS rushes on minus her wig, followed by guests. DUCHESS runs over left, then crosses right. CLEM pushes his way through crowd with DUCHESS’s wig. He throws it to DUCHESS.)
CLEM Take your rag.
(DUCHESS catches wig. Door bell rings off left. Twice, then three short rings. Th
ere is a sudden hush—then everybody in hushed tones says “Ooooh!” Lights out.)
No. 1 Oh, My God, it must be the cops!
No. 2 My God, the place is pinched!
No. 3 Don’t give your right name, dearie!
No. 4 The place is raided!
No. 5 Don’t lose your drawers, dearie!
No. 6 Don’t forget your fan, Flossie!
No. 7 Ooooh, you’re squeezing me!
No. 8 Take your foot off my face!
No. 9 Take your face off the floor!
No. 10 It must be the wagon, let me in first!
No. 11 I had to stand the last time!
No. 12 I don’t care, I had a gay time!
No. 13 I had a grand time!
No. 14 I had a gorgeous time!
(ROLLY has gradually worked his way through center of crowd during repartee.)
ROLLY Boys—boys—Ssssh—be a little careful—Don’t get excited—Everything is going to be fine. I’ll fix everything all right.
(The music picks up, pianissimo. Exit number, as the guests all file out center, shaking hands with ROLLY, wishing him good-night. ROLLY stands at center looking off after guests while PARSONS starts to tidy things up. ROLLY turns and sees him.)
ROLLY Don’t bother, PARSONS. Let the house go until later.
PARSONS I wanted to get things straightened before Mrs. Kingsbury returned, sir.
ROLLY That’s all right, She won’t be back until Monday.
PARSONS Very well, sir.
ROLLY Has everybody gone, PARSONS?
PARSONS Yes, sir, everyone.
ROLLY Have there been any calls for me, PARSONS?
PARSONS No, sir—Oh, I almost forgot, sir. Mr. GRAYSON called and said he would not be here, sir. (ROLLY stands at center, lost in thought and repeats GRAYSON’s name, then exits.) (PARSONS fixes telephone. Places a couple of chairs, then crosses up back to light switch and turns down lights. There is a pause then a door slam. Another pause, then a pistol shot. Still another pause, then a door slam. PARSONS hesitates, then rushes off upstairs. He returns in a few moments, almost in a state of collapse. The servants rush on.)
Servants What was it? what was it?
PARSONS (Too Upset To Answer, Goes Hurriedly To Telephone) Plaza 6606—06 (Pause.) JUDGE Kingsbury—This is PARSONS, at your son’s home. Something terrible has happened. Come at once. I—can’t—explain.
(PARSONS hangs up receiver, staggers back with his hands over his eyes as if trying to blot out the horrible picture he has just seen. Then sinks in chair.)
CURTAIN
Scene II
(The same, a few hours later. The INSPECTOR is questioning those present, including JUDGE KINGSBURY, CLAIR and PARSONS.)
Inspector (To PARSONS, Who Is Standing Center) You say, Mr. Kingsbury had words with Mr. GRAYSON the night before the murder?
PARSONS Yes, sir.
Inspector What were they?
PARSONS I don’t know exactly, sir.
Inspector You know what it was. If you don’t tell now, I’ll take you where you will tell.
PARSONS Well, sir, I don’t know exactly, sir, but I think, sir—
Inspector Don’t think, sir, but know, sir. What was it about?
PARSONS It was about Mrs. Kingsbury, I think, sir.
Inspector What did you hear?
PARSONS I was in the hall, sir. I wasn’t listening, sir, but I heard, sir, rather indistinctly, but clear enough to understand, sir.
Inspector Yes, yes.
PARSONS About the interest Mr. GRAYSON took in Mrs. Kingsbury—and also, sir, about the hospitality of the home—that is, Mr. Kingsbury’s hospitality to Mr. GRAYSON.
Inspector What else, what else?
PARSONS Mr. GRAYSON told Mr. Kingsbury to go to hell, sir—that he didn’t care for his hospitality—he only cared for his wife, sir.
JUDGE What’s this? (Rises, then sits.)
Inspector Have Mr. GRAYSON and Mrs. Kingsbury ever been alone in the house?
PARSONS Yes, sir, quite often, sir.
Inspector How long were they alone at any time?
PARSONS Not very long, sir. Just until Mrs. Kingsbury would dress for the theatre and long enough to bid her good-night when they returned.
Inspector (Pause) Have you ever seen them in an intimate position?
PARSONS Not very intimate, sir. Just in his arms, sir.
Inspector How many times have you seen this?
PARSONS Only once, sir.
Inspector When was it?
PARSONS Friday night, sir.
Inspector What else did he do?
PARSONS He kissed her.
Inspector How many times?
PARSONS I only saw one, sir, but that one was quite enough, sir.
Inspector Sit down. Don’t leave this room, I’ll talk to you later. (Crosses to center. Speaks to CLAIR.) Sorry, Mrs. Kingsbury, but I’ll have to ask you a few questions.
CLAIR I understand.
Inspector Why did you spend last night at your father’s home?
CLAIR I intended to spend the weekend there, as my husband informed me he would be away on a business trip and I didn’t want to be alone here with just the servants.
Inspector When is the last time you saw Mr. GRAYSON?
CLAIR Friday night. He took me to the opera and then to my father’s home. That is the last time.
Inspector Was Mr. GRAYSON in the habit of escorting you to the theatre?
CLAIR Yes, quite often.
Inspector Did your husband object to it.
CLAIR No, it was my husband’s wish. He was too busy to take me himself.
Inspector The neglected wife and the attentive lover.
Detective (Enters) GRAYSON is here.
Inspector Show him in.
GRAYSON (Enters. Pauses Inside Door—Looks Around At Those Present) Why, what is the matter?
Inspector ROLLY Kingsbury’s been shot.
GRAYSON Shot!
Inspector Yes, murdered.
GRAYSON Murdered!
Inspector Yeah, perhaps you can tell us something about it.
GRAYSON Why this is the first I’ve heard. I don’t know what to say. (Looks at CLAIR.) God—this is terrible!
Inspector Where were you at three o’clock this morning?
GRAYSON I was at a card game. But, why question me?
Inspector When was the last time you spoke to ROLLY Kingsbury?
GRAYSON Friday evening.
Inspector Oh, that is the evening you escorted Mrs. Kingsbury to the opera. The evening you held her in your arms and kissed her. The evening you quarreled with ROLLY Kingsbury over his wife.
GRAYSON That’s a lie. I quarreled with him, but it was not about his wife.
Inspector What did you quarrel about?
GRAYSON Men can quarrel over other things besides women.
Inspector Then, what did you quarrel over?
GRAYSON We quarreled over business matters.
Inspector Ambitious young engineer—employed by the wealthy Kingsbury iron works—accepts the hospitality of ROLLY Kingsbury—is trusted with his young, innocent wife. He falls madly in love with her—a quarrel with ROLLY Kingsbury over his plans. He sees dismissal and ambition unrealized—a dream of a wealthy young widow—the great Kingsbury wealth at the tip of his finger—a life’s ambition realized. Then ROLLY Kingsbury is murdered! Now tell us who killed ROLLY Kingsbury.
GRAYSON Your story is very interesting, Inspector, but I’m sorry, I don’t know who killed ROLLY Kingsbury.
Inspector You phoned ROLLY Kingsbury, last night.
GRAYSON Why, yes, ROLLY invited me to come here last night to a—party, I phoned him that I couldn’t attend. I had a previous engage ment.
Inspector (To CLAIR) Mrs. Kingsbury, did you know there was to be a party here last night?
CLAIR Why no—I did not.
Inspector (To GRAYSON) When were you invited to this—er—party, Mr. GRAYSON?
GRAYSON Friday evening.
Inspector Before you quarreled with ROLLY Kingsbury?
GRAYSON Yes.
Inspector Then it was because of the quarrel you refused to go?
GRAYSON Well—partly.
Inspector You said nothing to Mrs. Kingsbury about the quarrel or the party?
GRAYSON No.
Inspector Why not?
GRAYSON I assumed Mrs. Kingsbury knew about the party, and the quarrel did not concern her.
Inspector Can you tell us just why you preferred to go to a card game rather than accept the invitation of a man who was your employer and who was in a position to push you on toward success in your career? Can you tell us that?
GRAYSON I—I’m afraid I can’t.
Inspector You mean you won’t.
GRAYSON No.
CLAIR Allen—
GRAYSON Please, CLAIR.
Inspector Things look pretty bad for you Mr. GRAYSON. (DOCTOR enters from hall up-stage left.)
Inspector Oh, Dr. Richmond—You must have something to tell us.
DOCTOR Yes, I have and I’ll make it very brief.
CLAIR (Rushes to the DOCTOR. He takes her in his arms.) Daddy! (She is convulsed with sobs.)
DOCTOR Yes, my child, yes, my child—I know, I understand. (Goes over to JUDGE.) Bob, it’s all in life. Be calm. (Turns to INSPECTOR.)Inspector, there will be no further need for investigation. I have your man. (The JUDGE jumps to his feet in a fury. The DETECTIVE holds him.)
DOCTOR Bob, for God’s sake, don’t. (The DOCTOR crosses to the door.)Come in. (DAVID enters from hall up-stage left. He is pale and nervous.)
DOCTOR This is the madman. The poor, depraved, unfortunate who shot our boy.
JUDGE (Struggles With Detective To Get At DAVID) You killed my boy! You killed my boy!
DAVID I killed him because I loved him. (He collapses.)
JUDGE (Gazing At DAVID) A madman, a madman.
DOCTOR This is the poor, abnormal creature we discussed the other, day.
JUDGE Take him out of my sight, before I strangle him.
DAVID Strangle me, strangle me! You JUDGE Kingsbury—the great supporter of justice—you would crush me, destroy me—but your son was the same as I. Yes, I killed him. I came into the garden—I heard the music, the singing, the dancing—I waited until they were all gone. Then I shot him. When you condemn me, you condemn him. A judge’s son can be just the same as another man’s son—yes a king’s son, a fool’s son—Oh! I loved him—
Three Plays by Mae West Page 13
