The Cowboy's Lesson in Love

by Marie Ferrarella

  * * *

  Clint’s heart was pounding so hard, he could barely see straight.

  Gathering her into his arms as she lay beneath him, his eyes never left her. Everything stood still as he entered her.

  The instant he did, she began to move, her body urging him on to that one final place where they could complete each other.

  With each passing moment, her tempo increased. Clint moved faster.

  She upped the pace and he was right there, keeping up with her and then increasing the tempo until they were both so swept up in it, nothing else mattered.

  This went on until they were both moving so fast, it was difficult to know who was outdistancing whom. Or if it even mattered.

  The final gratifying explosion seized them simultaneously, enveloping them in a euphoria that defied description.

  Clint realized that he was holding on to her tightly, not wanting this to end. Knowing that the moment he stopped holding her so close to him, it would.

  The wild pounding of his heart lessened by increments until it was almost back to normal.

  Normal was no longer a good thing, he thought. Normal was barren. Lonely. And he had no desire to move back into that stark prison.

  Not yet.

  He felt Wynona move against him, her torso radiating warmth as she shifted. In the next instant her body was partially over his.

  And then she raised her head, the smile on her lips somehow leeching into his very consciousness. That he was aware of it surprised him. That he liked it surprised him even more.

  “Bet when you came to school to invite me to the ranch for dinner you never thought we’d wind up like this at the end of the day,” she said.

  He had no idea why that struck him so funny, but it did and he laughed. At first, a little and then whole-heartedly.

  The laughter in his chest transferred itself to her, turning into something they felt jointly.

  “No,” he agreed, stroking her hair as he finally caught his breath, “I can’t say that I did.”

  Wynona shifted again. He felt her breasts moving against his chest. Felt himself getting aroused all over again. Despite the vigorous, all but draining, lovemaking they had just experienced, somehow he found himself wanting her all over again.

  He had to be losing his mind. But it wasn’t his mind that was causing his body to respond this way.

  He could feel her smile on his skin as it spread along her lips. The next second she was raising her head again.

  “Again?” she asked.

  Considering their state of undress, there was no hiding his reaction to her. But he didn’t want her thinking that he was some insatiable creature who would demand satisfaction from her whether she was up to it or not.

  “No, I—”

  He didn’t get a chance to finish. Wynona wiggled her body even closer to his, her eyes sparkling with humor and laughter.

  “Again,” she repeated.

  This time he didn’t hear it as a question. This time, he realized, she was telling him what she wanted.

  But was she just saying that to go along with what she could tell he wanted? He shifted farther in order to be able to squarely face her.

  “You sure?”

  As she leaned in to kiss him, Clint could feel the laughter on her lips. When she moved her head back, creating a small space, her smile had widened, spreading from ear to ear.

  “What do you think?”

  “I think the best is yet to come,” he answered, the words all but vibrating within him as they emerged on his lips.

  “My thoughts exactly.” Her eyes were bright with laughter as she raised her lips to his.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Had she made a mistake?

  Had leaving the celebration at Miss Joan’s diner and bringing Clint home with her been ultimately a mistake on her part?

  Wynona didn’t want to believe that, but as each day passed, fading into the next, she began to grow more and more certain that, no matter what was in her heart, she had made a mistake.

  Making love with Clint had felt so right when it was happening. She had been sure that deep down inside him, he was feeling the exact same thing that she was. Moreover, that Clint had feelings for her just the way she had for him.

  But after they’d made love—twice—he had quickly gotten dressed and left, making a point of leaving before Shania came home.

  At the time she had thought that Clint was just being protective of her. That he didn’t want her cousin to know that they had slept together until and unless she was the one who wanted to tell Shania about them.

  But she was beginning to think that maybe he hadn’t wanted Shania to know—hadn’t wanted anyone to know—not because he was protecting her but because making love with her hadn’t really meant anything to him. That what had happened was all just part of an age-old cliché.

  Now that Clint had gotten what he’d wanted from her, she no longer mattered to him.

  With all her heart, Wynona didn’t want to believe that, but what other explanation was there for his disappearing act?

  Two weeks had gone by and she hadn’t heard a word from Clint. He had made no attempt to get in contact with her in order to finalize any plans regarding having dinner at the ranch. He hadn’t called, hadn’t even sent a message to her via his son.

  Nothing.

  It was as if now that he’d slept with her, he no longer wanted any part of her.

  Had she just imagined the whole thing? Imagined that he cared?

  Wynona had no idea what to think. All she knew was that her heart ached and it was all because of Clint.

  She was able to keep up a brave face in class, but it was getting a little more difficult with each day that passed.

  “When is Miss Chee going to come over for dinner?” Ryan asked his father.

  The boy had waylaid him by the corral to ask the question.

  This time.

  The boy had asked him the same question every day for over two weeks ever since the afternoon that he had gone into town to extend the invitation to Wynona and gotten caught up in the search for Tyler.

  Gotten caught up in Wynona, Clint thought almost unwillingly.

  Making love with the woman had been nothing short of exquisite. It also showed him how very susceptible he was to her. Showed him in no uncertain terms how extremely vulnerable he was when it came to anything that had to do with Wynona.

  And that scared him.

  Scared him because since he felt the way he did about her, it gave the woman power over him. The kind of power that could, so very easily, completely undo him.

  Completely destroy him.

  The last time that had happened, he had managed, through sheer grit, to pull himself together. To resurrect himself out of the ashes that Susan had reduced his soul to when she had coldly walked out on him and their son without so much as a word. Without any kind of warning.

  But he instinctively knew that if that happened to him again, there wouldn’t be anything left of him to rise up again.

  His gut told him that he wouldn’t be able to survive a death blow like that.

  So for his son’s sake, as well as his own, Clint decided that he needed to cut off all ties with Wynona now before his inner constitution dissolved to the point that he didn’t have the strength to walk away. Because if he didn’t cut off all ties, if he wound up convincing himself that he could maintain at least minimal contact with her and still be able to keep his distance emotionally, then he was utterly doomed.

  No, cutting off all connection with the woman was the only way that he had even a prayer of remaining whole and sane.

  Knowing that didn’t make its execution easy. If anything, the complete opposite was true.

  And having Ryan constantly asking him about the invitation, about when Wynona was co
ming over to the house, really didn’t help.

  “I don’t know,” Clint finally said when he felt his son’s eyes all but boring into him.

  “But you said you were gonna ask her,” Ryan reminded him innocently. “That was two weeks ago,” the boy pointed out, then paused as he thought about it. “More,” he corrected. He looked at his father hopefully, obviously trying to push him along without coming right out saying as much. “Miss Chee said yesterday that it’s never polite to keep anyone waiting.”

  Clint’s eyes narrowed as he looked up from the repair work he was doing.

  “Oh she did, did she?” He could feel his walls going up, bent on securing his heart in place so that it would be safe from the painful consequences of any verbal assault.

  Had he been right in his estimation of the woman? Was she fighting dirty by using his own son against him? “Did she say that to you specifically?”

  Ryan looked at him in confusion. “No, she said that to the class, but—”

  “So she was just talking in general,” Clint retorted curtly, terminating the conversation. His cold, stern tone warned his son not to say anything further on the subject.

  The message was not received. Except for the bottom line, which told Ryan that the invitation hadn’t been delivered.

  “But, Dad, why can’t she come to our house?” Ryan asked plaintively.

  This new stubborn streak Ryan was displaying was a revelation to him. Where was this coming from? Clint wondered, irritated.

  Exasperated and at a loss how to answer Ryan, Clint fell back on an old stand-by.

  “Don’t you have some homework to do?” he asked.

  Ryan’s face fell. “Yes, but—”

  “Then go do it,” Clint snapped at his son, turning back to his work.

  Ryan made one more attempt to get his father to see things his way. “But, Dad—”

  He got no further.

  Clint’s eyes darkened as he looked sternly at his son. “Now,” he ordered.

  Ryan dropped his head and walked slowly back to the house, taking baby steps as if he were part of a funeral procession.

  Only once the boy was out of earshot did Roy step out of the stable and cross over to where his brother was standing.

  “A little hard on the boy, weren’t you, Clint?” he asked.

  Clint was in no mood to be on the receiving end of a lecture, especially not from his brother. Roy had never been in any kind of a serious relationship and had no idea what he was going through.

  With a careless shrug, Clint looked back at his work. “He’s got to learn.”

  Roy moved around until he was right in front of his brother. “Learn what?” he asked. “That his father, the hero, is as unapproachable as ever?”

  Clint glared at his brother. “I’m not a hero,” he snapped.

  “Keep shutting Ryan out like that and you damn well won’t be,” Roy agreed. Clint made no attempt to explain his actions, leaving Roy no choice but to demand, “What the hell’s come over you?”

  “Nothing,” Clint retorted. He just wanted everyone to leave him alone. But apparently, Roy wasn’t taking the hint. Glaring at his younger brother, Clint told him, “Look, if you don’t have anything to do, I can find work for you.”

  Roy ignored the offer, seeing it as nothing but an attempt to divert him from what was really wrong with his brother. “You’ve been behaving like a wounded bear ever since the night you and Wynona found that boy and brought him back.” Roy’s eyes widened as a thought suddenly occurred to him. “Something happened between you and that teacher, didn’t it?”

  “No!” Clint shouted.

  The sound of his voice registered and Clint abruptly closed his mouth, moving over to another section of the corral.

  Roy refused to let him walk away. “Yes, it did,” he insisted, the pieces finally all coming together for him. “Hot damn, you came back to the world of the living and made love with Wynona, didn’t you?”

  His hand tightening on his hammer, Clint shot his brother a dirty look as he drove the nail into the post with far more vigor than was required. All the while he kept his mouth shut.

  But Roy wouldn’t give up or be put off. Grinning, he clamped his hand on his older brother’s shoulder, taking Clint’s silence as affirmation. “Wow, that’s wonderful, Clint.”

  Clint’s look grew even darker. “What’s so wonderful about it?” he demanded angrily.

  “It means you can feel,” Roy emphasized, still rejoicing in what he took to be his brother’s reawakening.

  Clint was quick to set him straight. “Well, I don’t want to feel,” he ground out between clenched teeth.

  Momentarily taken aback, Roy could only look at his older brother in confusion. And then his confusion slowly receded as he smiled again. “I think it’s too late, Clint. You already do.”

  Clint had had just about enough of his brother’s babbling. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. And no, I don’t.” He paused for a second, then told his brother with even more feeling, “I won’t.”

  “Why?” Roy asked.

  “Because I am not going to go through that again,” Clint insisted even more angrily, walking away from his brother again.

  “Go through what again?” Roy asked, following him. He refused to just give up and walk away from Clint. This was far too important; Clint had to realize that, he thought. “Being in love?”

  Clint whirled around. “No! Being ripped to shreds,” he snapped.

  “Who’s ripping you to shreds?” Roy asked in all innocence. “Wynona?” he guessed, then asked in disbelief, “Has she done something to you?”

  Another man would have said yes and been done with it. But he had to be honest even though he just wanted Roy to go away and leave him alone. “Not yet.”

  “Oh. Then all this—” he circled his hand around in front of Clint “—this building up of walls around yourself again, that’s just you taking preventative measures, is that it?”

  The last shred of his temper went up in smoke. “Back off! It’s none of your damn business,” Clint shouted.

  But Roy wasn’t about to back off, not this time. Clint was hurting and it was time to put a stop to it.

  “You’re my brother. It damn well is my business. And this my-heart’s-made-of-stone act of yours is hurting your son, so that would make it my business even if I wasn’t your brother, understand?” Roy demanded. He was close to losing his own temper because he couldn’t seem to knock any sense into his brother’s thick head.

  “How?” Clint demanded. “How is this hurting my son? This is between Wynona and me.”

  Roy laughed drily as he shook his head. “You keep telling yourself that.”

  “Why?” Clint repeated. He didn’t see how this could have any repercussions on his son, unless Roy meant Wynona would retaliate as Ryan’s teacher. “She wouldn’t take this out on him,” he protested. Wynona wasn’t like that, Clint thought.

  “No, she wouldn’t and she isn’t,” Roy agreed. “But you are.”

  Roy had lost him again. Clint had no idea what his brother was talking about. “No, I’m not.”

  “Oh no?” Roy questioned, then proceeded to give Clint examples. “You’re pushing him away, snarling at him like a wounded bear. No wonder Ryan thinks he’s done something wrong.”

  Clint was stunned. How could Roy say that? “I never said that to him,” Clint insisted.

  “Maybe not in so many words,” Roy allowed, “but Ryan’s filling in the blanks. Kids always think they’ve done something wrong when their parent snaps at them.”

  Roy stood studying his brother, waiting to see if he’d gotten through the thick shields that Clint had constructed around himself.

  When Clint continued to remain silent, saying nothing in response, Roy tried again. This time, in a quiet voice, he sa
id, “She’s not going to do it, you know.”

  Clint’s head snapped up. He didn’t have to ask who the “she” was that Roy was referring to. He knew. “Do what?”

  “If you’re waiting for Wynona to walk out on you because she’s looking for something more fulfilling in her life, she’s not going to do it,” Roy told him.

  Clint scowled. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Roy continued looking at him. “Did you even take any time to find things out about this woman?” he asked. Not waiting for an answer, he continued, telling his brother what he had found out about Wynona. “She grew up on the reservation right outside Forever. While she was in a strong community, life was hard. She never knew her father and lost her mother young. Her uncle and aunt took her in. Things were good for a year and then she lost them, too. The uncle in a car accident and the aunt to pneumonia.

  “She and her cousin were minutes away from being swallowed up into the foster care system when her great-aunt suddenly came on the scene and took them both with her to Houston where she lived. She paid for both their college educations. Wynona could have done anything she wanted once she got her teaching degree and all she wanted to do was come back here to show kids that it was possible to become something if they worked hard at it.”

  Clint said nothing. Frustrated, Roy shouted at his brother. “Don’t you get it? Wynona isn’t anything like Susan. Susan was the center of her own universe. Wynona is a selfless woman who only wants to help people. She’s a rare human being,” Roy said with feeling. “So if you don’t come to your senses and start acting more like the grown-up you were when you were eighteen instead of the cowering, scared kid that Susan turned you into, then you are not the brother I know and I’m ashamed of you.”

  Clint frowned, although the anger had been all but totally leeched out of him.

  “You think you have all the answers, don’t you?” he asked.

  “No, you do,” Roy told him.

  This time Clint could only wave a hand dismissively. “Yeah, right.”