Astrosaurs Vs Cows In Action

by Steve Cole

  Contents

  Cover

  About the Book

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Warning! Think you know about dinosaurs?

  The Crew of the DSS Sauropod

  The C.I.A. Files

  Cows of Courage

  Jurassic Quadrant Map

  Professor McMoo’s Timeline

  Chapter One: Mission to Planet Sixty

  Chapter Two: The Vanishing Enemy

  Chapter Three: The Jaws of Death

  Chapter Four: Assignment: Outer Space!

  Chapter Five: Peril on Jaggonax

  Chapter Six: Racing to Danger

  Chapter Seven: A Clash of Legends!

  Chapter Eight: Com-Moo-Nication Trouble

  Chapter Nine: Fighting Back

  Chapter Ten: Border to Danger

  Chapter Eleven: Underground Face-Off!

  Chapter Twelve: The Brew of Freedom

  Epilogue: Farewells

  Also by Steve Cole

  About the Author

  Copyright

  About the Book

  NASTY TO MEET MOO?!

  Evil is afoot in outer space. Terrifying mutant dinosaurs threaten to wipe out humanity.

  A deadly mission lies ahead for a new superteam – one which can travel across space AND time.

  Fun-packed thrills and danger (and a few cups of tea) are in store when the amazing Astrosaurs meet the coolest Cows in Action!

  CAN THE NEW FRIENDS DEFEAT THEIR SCARIEST, DAIRYEST ENEMY YET?

  For Florence Louise Smith

  WARNING!

  THINK YOU KNOW ABOUT DINOSAURS?

  THINK AGAIN!

  The dinosaurs …

  Big, stupid, lumbering reptiles. Right?

  All they did was eat, sleep and roar a bit. Right?

  Died out millions of years ago when a big meteor struck the Earth. Right?

  Wrong!

  The dinosaurs weren’t stupid. They may have had small brains, but they used them well. They had big thoughts and big dreams.

  By the time the meteor hit, the last dinosaurs had already left Earth for ever. Some breeds had discovered how to travel through space as early as the Triassic period, and were already enjoying a new life among the stars. No one has found evidence of dinosaur technology yet. But the first fossil bones were only unearthed in 1822, and new finds are being made all the time.

  The proof is out there, buried in the ground.

  And the dinosaurs live on, way out in space, even now. They’ve settled down in a place they call the Jurassic Quadrant and over the last sixty-five million years they’ve gone on evolving.

  The dinosaurs we’ll be meeting are part of a special group called the Dinosaur Space Service.

  Their job is to explore space, to go on exciting missions and to fight evil and protect the innocent!

  These heroic herbivores are not just dinosaurs.

  They are astrosaurs!

  NOTE: The following story has been translated from secret Dinosaur Space Service records. Earthling dinosaur names are used throughout, although some changes have been made for easy reading.

  THE CREW OF THE DSS SAUROPOD

  THE C.I.A. FILES

  Cows from the present –

  Fighting in the past to protect the future …

  In the year 2550, after thousands of years of being eaten and milked, cows finally live as equals with humans in their own country of Luckyburger. But a group of evil war-loving bulls – the Fed-up Bull Institute – is not satisfied.

  Using time machines and deadly ter-moo-nator agents, the F.B.I. is trying to change Earth’s history. These bulls plan to enslave all humans and put savage cows in charge of the planet. Their actions threaten to plunge all cowkind into cruel and cowardly chaos …

  The C.I.A. was set up to stop them.

  However, the best agents come not from 2550 – but from the present. From a time in the early 21st century, when the first clever cows began to appear. A time when a brainy bull named Angus McMoo invented the first time machine, little realizing he would soon become the F.B.I.’s number one enemy …

  COWS OF COURAGE – TOP SECRET FILES

  PROFESSOR ANGUS MCMOO

  Security rating: Bravo Moo Zero

  Stand-out features: Large white squares on coat, outstanding horns

  Character: Scatterbrained, inventive, plucky and keen

  Likes: Hot tea, history books, gadgets

  Hates: Injustice, suffering, poor-quality tea bags

  Ambition: To invent the electric sundial

  LITTLE BO VINE

  Security rating: For your cow pies only

  Stand-out features: Luminous udder (colour varies)

  Character: Tough, cheeky, ready-for-anything rebel

  Likes: Fashion, chewing gum, self-defence classes

  Hates: Bessie Barmer, the farmer’s wife

  Ambition: To run her own martial arts club for farmyard animals

  PAT VINE

  Security rating: Licence to fill (stomach with grass)

  Stand-out features: Zigzags on coat

  Character: Brave, loyal and practical

  Likes: Solving problems, anything Professor McMoo does

  Hates: Flies not easily swished by his tail

  Ambition: To find a five-leaf clover – and to survive his dangerous missions!

  Chapter one

  MISSION TO PLANET SIXTY

  The DSS Sauropod – finest spaceship in the Dinosaur Space Service – was shooting through the stars on an urgent mission.

  “I love urgent missions,” cried Captain Teggs Stegosaur, munching some leaves in his control pit. “Urgent missions mean action and adventure – and several emergency extra lunches.”

  Gipsy Saurine, the hadrosaur in charge of the ship’s communications, had to smile. Teggs was always hungry – for exciting escapades as much as for plants! “Well, that distress call we picked up sounded very urgent.”

  She replayed the message through the speakers.

  “Attention all astrosaurs!” came a booming voice. “We have crashed on Planet Sixty … Immediate help needed! PLEASE!”

  The ship’s pterosaur crew – fifty frantic dimorphodon – had flapped into furious action the moment the message came through. Now Sprite, their leader, directed them about the flight deck as they worked the ship’s smaller controls with beaks and claws.

  “I wonder who sent that distress call” mused Arx Orano. He was a brainy green triceratops, and Teggs’s second-in-command. “Planet Sixty’s in the Vegmeat Zone. No ships that we know of were flying anywhere near there – it’s too close to carnivore space. It might be a trap.”

  Teggs nodded thoughtfully. “The last time we visited Planet Sixty, there were T. rexes and raptors running about. Iggy and I barely escaped with our lives.”

  “Did somebody say my name?” Iggy Tooth breezed onto the flight deck, a greasy spanner in his hand. He was the Sauropod’s tough chief engineer, and very handy in a tight spot. “I’ve just got Shuttle Alpha ready to go. What’s all the rush?”

  “We’ve just picked up an urgent distress call,” Teggs explained. “We’re on our way to—”

  “Planet Sixty?” Iggy groaned as he spied the brown blob approaching on the scanner screen. “Not that dump! I thought it was a T. rex world now …?”

  Arx shook his head. “It’s such a rubbish place, even the T. rexes gave up on it. It’s been abandoned for over a year.”

  “Or so we thought.” Teggs gulped down some more ferns and jumped out of the control pit. “All right, team – put on your battle armour and let’s hit the shuttle. Sprite, you’re in charge until we get back.”

  Sprite saluted with both wings.
“Ker-chup!”

  Soon, the astrosaurs, clad in their protective gear, were bundling aboard the shuttle. Teggs wore his head armour, and his tough tail was made mightier still with electro-spikes. Iggy had put on his stun claws. Arx wore his battle helmet, and Gipsy’s blue combat suit covered her from tail to hooves.

  “We’re good to go and ready for anything,” Teggs declared. “Iggy – take us down to Planet Sixty!”

  The shuttle’s twin jet thrusters burned brightly. Seconds later, they were scorching through the planet’s grotty green atmosphere.

  “I see something!” Gipsy pointed down at the swampy ground through the window. A large flat white disc lay like a discarded Frisbee. “It looks like a spaceship.”

  Iggy flew the shuttle closer. “It’s not a type I recognize. There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with it, either.”

  “Let’s take a closer look,” said Teggs.

  The moment the shuttle landed, the astrosaurs hurried out. A cold, whiffy breeze blew about them.

  Gipsy checked the soggy ground. “I can’t see any tracks or footprints. I guess no one has come out of the ship.”

  HUMMMM. Even as Gipsy spoke, a ramp began to lower from its side.

  “Whoever’s on board has been waiting for us,” Teggs realized, going closer.

  “Hello?” he called. “Did you send a distress call? Are you OK?”

  Moments later, a massive figure appeared at the top of the ramp. Teggs gulped and backed away. It could have been a T. rex had it not been for the huge white horns sticking out on either side of its scaly head … the long, swishing tail with fur at the end … and the large pink wobbly blob sticking out of its tum. It gazed around, opened its fearsome jaws and let rip with a deep, bone-trembling “MOOOOOOOO!”

  Then, ignoring the astrosaurs, the creature stamped down the ramp, bent over and started to chew some swampy grass.

  “A carnivore that eats grass?” Teggs wondered warily. “What is that thing?”

  “Me am C. rex!” the bizarre beast grunted. “C. rex short for … Tyrannosaurus Cow!”

  “Or ‘cow-rex’?” Arx suggested. “You know, like a T. rex crossed with a cow?”

  “Oh. Yeah,” said the C. rex. “That be it.”

  Iggy looked blank. “What’s a cow?”

  “A grass-eating animal that evolved on Earth long after we dinos moved away,” explained Gipsy. “I read about them in a galactic science book. That wobbly-bobbly pink thing is an udder, I think. Cows make milk in them to give to their babies.”

  “All T. rexes give their babies is a dead rat and a bite on the bum,” Arx noted. “Maybe this creature is kinder.”

  Teggs was puzzled. “But our long-range mega-scopes show that Earthling spacecraft are primitive compared to ours. How could a cow reach the Jurassic Quadrant?”

  Suddenly, the C. rex reared up. “Ugh!” It spat out its green meal. “Me hopes grass gonna taste better with RAW MEAT …” Jaws opening wide, the monster stomped towards the astrosaurs.

  “Battle stations, everyone!” Teggs cried. He curled into a spiky ball and hurled himself at the thing’s legs.

  THUMP! The C. rex tripped over and fell flat on its snout.

  But before the other astrosaurs could grab it, the monster rolled over and fired a sizzling spray from its udder.

  “Arrrgh!” Teggs cried as his skin steamed in the downpour. “That’s not milk …”

  The C. rex grinned and nodded. “It be stomach acid!”

  “Gross!” Teggs hurled himself clear of the udder attack, cooling his burned skin in a big swampy puddle. “Gipsy!” he shouted. “Signal the Sauropod and get reinforcements!”

  “I’m on it,” she called, rushing back to the shuttle.

  Arx lowered his horns. “I think it’s time we taught this thing a lesson.”

  “That’s a stunning idea!” said Iggy. He raised his special claws, and blue crackles of energy fired from the tips.

  The C. rex was stopped for a moment by the electric onslaught. Arx charged, aiming for its udder. But at the last moment the monster grabbed him round the neck with its long tail. It spun him round and threw him at Iggy – just as the iguanodon fired a second time. ZZZAPPPP! Both astrosaurs were engulfed in the stunning sparks and collapsed on the ground.

  “Oh no!” Teggs rushed across to check on his fallen friends. “Arx! Iggy!” Their eyes were closed, and they were hardly breathing. “Hang in there, guys,” he said, using his spiky tail to drag his crew mates towards Shuttle Alpha. “I’ll get you out of here.”

  “Ha!” snarled the C. rex, pounding towards him. “Not if me gets you first.” But then Gipsy bounded back out of the shuttle, a speeding blur. “Keep going, Captain! I’ll buy you some time.” She launched herself into a flying jump-kick …

  Unfortunately, the C. rex lowered its hugely horned head and butted her in mid-air – WHUMP!

  “Yeooowwwww!” Gipsy flew straight over Teggs and smashed into the side of the shuttle.

  “Gipsy!” Teggs cried. He hurried across to where she lay face-down in the dirt. A big bump had come up on the back of her head.

  “Now she’s out cold too!” Teggs quickly heaved her aboard the shuttle, doing the same for Iggy and Arx. “I only hope reinforcements are on the way …”

  He trailed off as another figure strode down the flying saucer’s ramp to stand beside the snarling C. rex. It looked like a robotic cow encased in armour, walking on mechanical hind legs, with glowing green eyes and jagged metal horns. Its snout was pierced by a silver ring. T-5 was stamped on the golden breastplate.

  “Not a bad start.” The creature patted the C. rex on the back. “Well done.”

  Teggs flexed his tail in warning. “I don’t know who you are,” he began, “but if that thing’s your pet, you should keep it under control.”

  “The dinosaur moo-tant is not a pet. It is a weapon.” The creature smiled evilly. “I am TER-MOO-NATOR T-5. I serve the Fed-up Bull Institute – a master race of conquering cattle from the planet Earth. We intend to dominate the galaxy – and NOTHING will stand in our way!”

  Chapter Two

  THE VANISHING ENEMY

  “Spare me the power-mad gloating.” Teggs stared, astonished, at the ter-moo-nator. “Conquering cattle? I thought those funny human things ruled the Earth?”

  “Humans? Poo-mans more like,” sneered T-5. “They are inferior and will be destroyed – once our work here in space is done.” He pulled a long-barrelled gun from inside his armour and passed it to the C. rex. “It is time for weapons training – with the butter-bazooka.”

  “I don’t like the sound of that,” said Teggs, “and I’m sick of the sight of you two!” As blistering yellow goo burst out of the bazooka, he threw himself forward, skidding on his belly, dodging the blast. Then he brought down his tail with astonishing force. As it struck the soggy ground, a terrific explosion of mucky marsh-water splashed over the C. rex and the ter-moo-nator, blinding and choking them. Seizing the advantage, Teggs shoulder-charged the spluttering pair, knocking them to the ground.

  At the same moment, two egg-shaped ships came swooping out of the sky. They unleashed a volley of laser bolts and dung torpedoes at the flying saucer, which smoked and shook. “The Sauropod’s shuttles,” Teggs cheered. “Just in time!”

  But while Teggs was distracted, the C. rex clobbered him on the head with the butter-bazooka. “Oof!” Teggs fell backwards with a splash.

  The ter-moo-nator snatched back the gun. “Combat test completed,” he said without emotion. “Retreat.”

  Teggs scrambled up to find T-5 and the C. rex vanishing up their ramp, which closed behind them. Within moments, the saucer from Earth was whooshing away, with the little ships chasing after.

  Teggs rushed back to his shuttle, where Iggy, Arx and Gipsy were starting to stir.

  “That cow-nivore kicked our butts,” said Iggy, rubbing his head. “Did it get away?”

  “Yes, together with its metal-brained boss. The shuttles have gone
after that flying saucer.” Teggs jumped aboard. “Right now, I’d better get you three to the Sauropod sick bay.” He started up the engines and gripped the steering stick. “Hold on tight!”

  The astrosaurs were soon being checked out by dino doctors. Gipsy’s head was bandaged, and Arx and Iggg were given anti-stun pills. A pterosaur nurse rubbed soothing cream over Teggs’s acid burns.

  Suddenly, Teggs’s communicator bleeped. “This is Security Chief Alass, calling from Shuttle Beta.”

  Teggs leaped off his sick bed, giving his nurse a fright. “What’s happening, Alass?” Alass Tikka was a gruff, tough ankylosaur; she was very useful in a fight. “Did you manage to stop that saucer?”

  “Sorry, Captain. It got away.” Alass sounded furious. “It was too fast for us. Its jets are very different from ours.”

  “All right, Alass, back you come. Tell Shuttle Gamma to return too.” Teggs sighed and switched off the communicator. “We must find the dinosaur moo-tant and his metal mate – and their mysterious masters.”

  Gipsy nodded, rubbing her head. “They’re way too dangerous to be left on the loose.”

  “Too right,” growled Iggy. “Besides, I need to pay them back for making me zap poor Arx like that.”

  “Well, we won’t find them hanging around here.” Teggs stalked out of the sick bay, with Arx, Iggy and Gipsy close behind. “Let’s get back to the flight deck.”

  The lift took them straight there. Sprite the dimorphodon flapped out of the control pit as Teggs approached. “Erp!” he said. “Admiral Rosso wants to speak to us?” Teggs smiled; Rosso was the bespectacled barosaurus in charge of the DSS. “Well, I want to speak to him too! Put him through, Gipsy.”

  Gipsy pressed some buttons, and the image of a large green dinosaur appeared on the scanner.

  “Ah, Teggs,” Rosso began, nodding as the astrosaurs saluted. “I need your help with a mysterious robbery. One thousand tons of long grass have been stolen from Mossmunch II—”

  “Sorry, sir, but we’ve just stumbled on something more important,” said Teggs. “Answering a bogus distress call, we ran into a robot bull from the planet Earth whose masters are planning galactic domination.”