Needed By The Highlander: A Scottish Time Travel Romance (Highlander Forever Book 5)

by Rebecca Preston

  She was just repaying him for saving her life, she thought crossly, trying to steel herself against the sneaky feelings that were trying to creep back in while her back was turned. That was all. A bit of babysitting was the least she could do, given that he’d pulled her out of the Loch when she’d been drowning. They headed down the stairs together in companionable silence, neither one of them wanting to wake the sleeping Eamon. But he stirred when they reached Niall’s quarters, yawning and stretching and shifting in his father’s arms.

  “What happened? Did you see the yelling men?”

  “We did,” Niall said softly, sitting his son down at the table. “Would you like a drink of milk before bed?”

  “Not tired,” Eamon yawned truculently.

  “No milk, then?” Helen asked, raising an eyebrow, and the little boy winced.

  “Want milk.”

  “Alright.” She chuckled, heading to the kitchen where she knew there was a tall bottle of milk. The servants delivered fresh milk to Niall’s quarters regularly — she never had quite figured out how systems of payment worked here. Did he take a salary for his work as harbormaster, or was it a more collaborative system where in exchange for his work, the castle fed, clothed and protected him? She’d figure it out eventually, she knew. There was still so much to learn about this strange place she now called home…

  When she got back with the little mug of milk for Eamon, Niall was telling him all about the men who’d surrounded them. With amusement, she realized he’d taken out the part where they were armed, and he was describing them as being very silly indeed — Eamon grinned and giggled at the story, clearly impressed by his father.

  But Niall’s face shadowed a little when he reached their visit to Maggie’s cottage. “Eamon, I wanted to talk to you about something, okay? The men were angry because they were scared. And they were scared because there’s… there are some bad creatures about.”

  “Wolves? Like wolves?” Eamon leaned forward, clearly vitally interested in this. “Wolves are very bad. They eat sheep, and cows, and —”

  “A little like wolves, I suppose, but these are much cleverer than wolves, and much more dangerous, okay? They look like horses with wet manes and tails.”

  Eamon wrinkled his nose, clearly less impressed with horses than he was with the prospect of wolves. “Horses aren’t scary.”

  “These ones are,” Helen said softly. “They have sharp pointy teeth — and they eat meat, like wolves do.”

  He perked up a little at that. “Where? Can we catch them?”

  “Your dad’s working on it, and so’s the Laird and all his men,” Helen explained, giving Niall a glance. “But for now, it’s important that we keep you safe, okay?”

  “I’ll be okay,” Eamon boasted. “If a horse tries to eat me I’ll hit him until he runs away.”

  “I know you’re brave, Eamon, but there are lots of these creatures, okay? So until we’ve caught them all, we need you to be safe. No wandering around the Loch by yourself, okay? Just for a little while. Especially late at night or early in the morning, when it’s dark.” Niall was trying to sound reassuring, she could tell, but she could hear the worry in his voice.

  “I can’t go near the water?” Eamon said doubtfully. “But you’re by the water all day.”

  “Aye, I know. But it’s my job, little man. And I’m big and strong. If these creatures come after me, I can fight them off.”

  “So can I!” Eamon said stridently, his fists clenching around his cup of milk. “That’s not fair if you can go out but I can’t!”

  “Eamon—”

  “Not fair, not fair, not fair,” he grumbled, his face a thundercloud… but to Helen’s relief, she could see that he was too sleepy to let this impatience turn into a full-blown tantrum. The conversation could have gone better, she supposed… but it also could have gone a lot worse. Niall took him to bed not long after, sighing a little.

  “Guess we’re going to have to keep a close eye on him until the Kelpies are all caught,” Helen said softly when he rejoined her at the table.

  “Well, that’ll be a change,” Niall quipped dryly, drawing a laugh from her. “Sometimes I wonder if he hears a single word I say.”

  “He’s four, Niall. He’s been through a lot. He’ll grow out of this temper, I promise.” She rose to her feet, stretching a little as the exertion of the day caught up with her. “I’d better head to bed,” she said softly.

  There was a pleasant quiet atmosphere, and Niall nodded, his eyes on her… and then, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, he’d stepped close to her, much closer than he’d ever been before… and before she could even figure out what was happening, he’d bent his head to kiss her full on the lips. And it wasn’t a polite peck — this was a real kiss, deep and searching, his lips strong against hers, the warmth of his body close and burning against her skin…

  He broke away, smiling at her a little. “Goodnight, Helen.”

  And just like that, he’d turned and walked away, leaving her half-leaning on the dining room table and wondering what on Earth had just happened to her. Had that been real? Was she dreaming?

  If she was, she thought dizzily, she definitely didn’t want to wake up.

  Chapter 26

  Somehow, she made her way to her room, glad that Niall was in his own bedroom and wouldn’t see her shaking as she walked. Her whole mind felt like it was on fire — one part was racing, trying to figure out what he’d meant by the kiss, whether it had been serious, whether it could have just been polite, while another part didn’t want to analyze at all — wanted, in fact, to march straight into his room and throw herself into his arms and see what the night would bring. That part of her mind, if she was honest, scared the hell out of her. She’d never had feelings like that before… never. Or if she had, she’d been able to suppress them, to drown them out with her work, with convincing herself that there was no room in her life for a relationship…

  But those excuses didn’t work here, did they? She frowned to herself as she undressed, her hands still trembling slightly from the welcome shock of the kiss. It was amazing — she’d never felt such a physical impact from a simple touch before. Could she let herself pursue this? It seemed Niall may be that way inclined… at least, she had to assume he might be, based on the fact that he’d just kissed her. What other explanation was there? And hadn’t she suspected that he was flirting with her now and again, these last few weeks? The way he looked at her, smiled and laughed at her jokes, listened intently when she spoke… he admired her. He liked her. As more than just a friend, it seemed.

  Could she really consider a relationship with this man? Her automatic habit was to find problems, of course. He had a son — a four-year-old child. And Helen was no good with children, for all that she was doing her best to get on with Eamon. If she entered into a relationship with his father, like it or not, she’d be taking on a caretaker role when it came to Eamon. And wouldn’t that get complicated, what with the recent loss of his mother? What if he thought she was trying to replace his mother? He was such a turbulent child at the best of times… it was highly likely that he’d lash out at her in anger, probably hurting his father at the same time. It was definitely a consideration.

  And besides, did she even have it in her to be a good mother at all? She’d always thought of parenthood as something that happened to other people, not to her. Sure, she’d given the occasional wistful glance to happy families walking their new babies through the park in strollers while she was buried in work… but did she really want to be a mother, even a stepmother, to a child? Did she even have what it took? Even with the conveniences of modern life, being a mother seemed like a full-time job and then some. How could she take that on in this era, with none of the modern technology that she’d relied on her whole life?

  But she just couldn’t shake how she felt about Niall, no matter how worried she might have been about the prospect of falling into his life as a mother figure to his child. Cou
ld they see each other more casually, perhaps? Was there a way she could date him without necessarily becoming his new life partner, replacing his wife as caretaker of his son? Eamon was such an important part of Niall’s life… she felt a pang of guilt at the very idea of trying to be close to Niall without Eamon in tow. That wouldn’t be fair to the boy — or to his father.

  How on Earth had her mother done it? The truth was, she kind of hadn’t, she thought regretfully as she tossed and turned in her bed. With a cancer diagnosis, her mother had had to spend a lot of time at the hospital… and that had meant that Helen and her brothers, with her father working long hours, had spent a lot of time with their aunt, a cold, hostile woman who was extremely withholding when it came to any kind of affection. For the longest time, Helen had almost felt like she didn’t have a mother. Whenever she saw her mother, she was incredibly sick, and she felt like she couldn’t ask anything of her — could barely impose her presence on the woman in case she made her illness worse. Her father, for all that he was doing his best for his family, was always absent, working hard to keep a roof over her head. And her aunt… well, her aunt wasn’t any substitute for a mother’s love. Was that why she had such a hard time accepting love in relationships? Was it because she’d been forced to rely on herself and only herself for comfort, even from such a young age?

  She sighed heavily, trying to find a comfortable position in the bed so that she could get to sleep… but it was clear that her racing mind was having none of that. What if she did go for it with Niall? What if she threw herself into his arms, let herself be his for as long as he wanted her — what then? This wasn’t the twenty-first century, where she was an independent woman with her own apartment, her own source of income, her own way of making a life. She had no idea how life worked in this place — she’d found herself thrown onto the mercy of strangers, relying on the people of the Castle to feed and protect her, on Niall to let her stay in his quarters. What if she did enter into a relationship with him, and it ended badly? What would she do then? She’d have to ask Laird Donal to take her in… and while she knew Anna would want to help her, the idea of being dependent on their kindness was a vexation to her independent spirit.

  Because what if Niall wasn’t actually that interested in her? It was the sixteenth century… men had a very different attitude to women. She’d picked that up already, from the way the guards looked at her, the way the men in the village had jeered at her, the dismissive way Perry had referred to her, as though she belonged to Niall, not to herself… simply by virtue of being a woman. Sure, the men of the castle seemed a little better — the ones that were married to women from the future, at least, were a lot more respectful, as far as she could make out. But were they anomalies, outliers who’d managed to be educated by their progressive wives? What about Niall? What if he was only interested in her for sex — would he cast her aside once he’d gotten what he wanted?

  Because being abandoned in the sixteenth century was very different from being abandoned in the twenty-first. What about contraception, for a start? She was sure that the local women had their ways, but there were certainly no birth control pills or drug stores where she could buy a packet of condoms. What if she fell into bed with Niall, then fell pregnant? She’d never had sex before, a piece of information she kept zealously to herself — she had no idea how fertile she could be. What if she fell pregnant and wound up abandoned and alone with a baby to raise? A baby with Niall’s eyes… she couldn’t help but smile at the idea, then recoiled, disgusted with herself.

  No — it was irresponsible to consider any of this. After all, she barely knew Niall — not really. Their friendship felt intense because of her strong attraction to him, that was for sure — but that didn’t mean that there was anything real between them. She had to keep her wits about her — had to think with her head and not her heart. Yes, he was gorgeous. Yes, that kiss had made her feel things she’d never felt before, deep in her chest. But she couldn’t just throw herself at him and hope for the best — she had to be smart, had to take care of herself. She didn’t know enough about this strange new world to risk her health and happiness for a man who may not feel as seriously about her as she did about him.

  At the very least, she thought with a blush that spread across her face even in the dark of her room, she’d talk to the other women about contraceptive options. Maybe she’d ask Kay — she’d been a vet in the future, she’d know a little about medicine. God, she wasn’t looking forward to that conversation. Kay was going to be so excited that she was actually considering a relationship with Niall… even if it was just sex.

  She finally fell into a troubled sleep — it was plagued with strange dreams that kept almost waking her up. Dreams about Niall, mostly, appearing to her as a knight in shining armor, mounted on a beautiful steed… but as she looked closer, she realized that the horse’s mane and tail were dripping wet, and that its soulful eyes were black, not brown… then it opened its jaws to reveal sharp, jagged teeth, dripping with the blood of the missing fisherman, poised to strike her, to tear her flesh apart… but when she raised her arms to protect herself, she realized she was holding a baby. A baby with Niall’s eyes, with her dark hair, and — it opened its mouth and she screamed — the Kelpie’s terrifying, serrated teeth…

  She sat bolt upright in bed, breathing hard. It was just after dawn, and her heart was pounding as though she’d run a mile, the bedsheets wet with sweat. God, what was going on with her? A kiss shouldn’t have stirred up such ridiculous dreams. Get a grip, she told herself crossly, swinging her legs out of bed. There were more important things to be gotten on with than her stupid feelings for the stupid handsome harbormaster who had, stupidly, kissed her the night before and successfully ruined her night’s sleep and, probably, life.

  Not that she was being dramatic about it, or anything.

  She headed up to breakfast alone, glad that Niall had clearly already risen and headed out to the docks. On the way, she hesitated by the docks to gauge the general sentiment as quickly as she could, scanning the faces of the fishermen as they brought in their catches. There were less fish on the docks than she was used to seeing, which was a worry… but it was better that their catches take a hit than anyone else getting eaten whole by those monstrous horse creatures that Maggie had described to her. The image she had in her mind of the Kelpies was frightening… she almost wished that she could see one in the flesh, just because she felt like the reality couldn’t be nearly as scary as her image of it.

  One thing she noticed — there was no sign of Perry MacCullen among the men on the docks. She thought she recognized one or two of the men who’d been holding spears in his little group of monster-hunting vigilantes, but Perry himself was nowhere to be seen. Had he already finished his catch for the day? Was he taking the day off? She found herself wondering whether it might not be better for everyone if Perry was eaten by a Kelpie himself… then chastened herself for that ungracious thought. He was just a scared, angry man who’d lost his brothers. He didn’t deserve death at the hands — or hooves — of a monster.

  These thoughts engaged her fully as she headed up the stairs, and she realized belatedly that this was what should be on her mind right now — not her relationship with Niall, whatever it was. There were monsters about, killing people. How could she think about kissing some (admittedly handsome) man when such horrors were happening? She owed it to this community that had taken her in to dedicate all of her energies to getting rid of the monsters that were killing fishermen.

  She’d just have to deal with her feelings about Niall later.

  Chapter 27

  Breakfast was a somber affair. Word had clearly spread about the Kelpies, and every hushed conversation she overheard seemed to be about savage, sharp-toothed horses stalking their prey in the night… the servants all seemed terrified that the horses would come for them next, the guards looked stoic and grim, and even the handful of scholars and herbalists she saw talking looked worried — one o
f them had a huge book and was leafing through the pages with a frown furrowing her brow. Still, there was something good about knowing that everyone in the castle was on the same page — they knew what was out there. They knew what they were fighting against. And Helen had always been of the strong opinion that knowledge was power. Maybe that was what had drawn her to being an investigator — wanting to put as much power in the hands of regular people as she could. The FBI did good work, sure — but the secrecy was exhausting. It felt good to know that everyone was as informed about the Kelpie threat as they could be.

  Now, they just had to hope that the creatures could be hunted down, and safety could be restored again to the people who lived here. From what she could gather, the guards were heading up to arm themselves with extra iron weapons, now that they knew that the threat was definitely Faerie in origin. Idly, she wondered if there might be a spare weapon for her — not that she knew anything about how to use it, but the idea of having some iron concealed about her person was very appealing, somehow. She’d figured out where the armory was during her explorations of the castle, and she headed up there once she’d finished her breakfast, assuming that there’d be plenty of people around to ask about an iron weapon.