Unmerciful_Forbidden Bonds

by Cat Miller

  “All right, I trust you to tell me if you need my aid. I know this day will be difficult for you, sweetheart. Dragging up all this mess can’t be easy. Hopefully, after today you’ll be able to put it behind you.” Reilly kissed her forehead. He held her for a moment too long before backing away. “As soon as this is over, we’ll head home, and you can rest.”

  Tessa didn’t agree or disagree with Reilly. She knew the time had come for her to make a change. She’d imposed on Reilly’s hospitality and good nature for far too long. She was hiding behind him, and it was cowardly. Tessa didn’t want to live in fear anymore. Her daughter was grown and happily married. Tessa had done her job and kept Dani safe until she could protect herself. Dani was now a gifted vampire with a mate, and they didn’t need Tessa’s protection. It was time for Tessa to figure out who she was now.

  Everyone’s assumption that Tessa and Reilly were a mated couple had been enough to keep Griffin away from her until now. But they weren’t mated, and the pretense was wearing on Reilly. He had refused to take Tessa’s blood and complete the bond until Tessa said she loved him. He’d given her so much of his blood that he was made weak, but he hadn’t taken even the drop of Tessa’s blood needed to complete the bonding.

  If Tessa’s heart wasn’t a shattered shell, maybe she could love Reilly. She wished she could feel more than deep affection and friendship for the man who’d selflessly saved her life, changing her from human to vampire when Tessa would have died otherwise. Reilly steadfastly stood by her side while she suffered through a violent change and then adjusted to being a vampire. He taught Tessa what she needed to know to survive and cared for her as if she was his mate. Reilly wasn’t born a vampire. He was changed by his best friend in college after cancer nearly took Reilly’s life. So he understood her struggle.

  Reilly had a maker, not a mate. He was connected to his friend on some level, but it wasn’t romantic. That’s precisely how she felt. Reilly was her maker, and she felt him there inside of her like a vague, warm shadow. Tessa prayed every day that Reilly wouldn’t regret saving her life. She prayed he would find a woman to love him the way he so richly deserved.

  Reilly had earned Tessa’s devotion in so many ways, but it wasn’t a romantic feeling. She tried to take him into her heart, but Griffin’s hold on her would never fade. She knew if Reilly would just complete the bond between them things would fall into place, but Reilly wanted her heart first, and she couldn’t blame him at all. Reilly needed the love of a woman, not just a mindless bond of a mate. He’d been born human, so the difference mattered to him. Tessa could never give that to him or anyone else. So she had to move out of Reilly’s home so he could move past her and go find that perfect woman. She was sure he would find that lady. She’d dreamed it already, and Tessa was never wrong. She had to remove herself from his life so he would recognize that love when it came to him for real. Now she was thankful, for Reilly’s sake, that he hadn’t taken her blood. He was going to find his one true mate. Everything happened for a reason.

  She gave Reilly a genuine smile of appreciation before he turned to enter the council hall and take a seat to wait for testimony to begin again. He’d already testified to his part in saving J.R. and everything he’d witnessed. Now it was her turn. When her name was called, Tessa entered the austere chamber with her head held high. It was time to close this chapter of her life and begin a new book that would be written by Tessa, not the imperious vampire who’d left her behind.

  Five

  Kayden was doing laps to wake up after a restless night spent dozing in a chair. He ran past a group of warriors doing PT on the practice field at the South Carolina Enclave. They were a younger group of cadets, but you’d never know it by their strength and coordination. Most warriors were trained from birth. There was great pride in continuing your clan’s traditions and raising the next generation of fighters.

  Many of these young males would be hoping for an invitation to attend school at the Citadel, an academy that had cranked out almost every Wrath Guard in history. The place was the vampire equivalent of West Point, only with fangs and meaner instructors. The cadets were trained in ancient and modern combat, and they received a top-notch academic education. You couldn’t apply to the Citadel, you had to be invited. The cream of the crop from each clan would be summoned to try out for the limited positions in each year’s freshman class.

  Kayden had been invited, of course, but he’d refused to go. It was still a sore spot for his father. Kayden didn’t see the need to enroll in some super-secret school to become a Wrath warrior when he already had the best training and education he could ever need. Plus, he was the first to admit that he had issues with authority figures. He’d been an arrogant little shit. His clan was the absolute top tier of his class. The Vampire Nation was split up into levels within classes. Clan affiliation and birth order were still a critical part of the warrior’s social structure. It was the same for the upper classes in their houses. In Kayden’s book, there wasn’t anything someone who was beneath his father in rank could possibly teach him, and everyone was beneath Gage Paris. Then one day Kayden woke up as a rebellious teenager who didn’t want to be the next chieftain. The rest was history.

  He finished his run with a challenging trip through the gauntlet, an obstacle course that was known to break bones, take off skin, and nearly drown any vampire who didn’t respect the agility, coordination, and problem-solving skills it took to get from one end to the other. Maybe he shouldn’t have attempted to run an entirely unknown course after a nearly sleepless night. Kayden hadn’t walked away unscathed. He limped back to the barracks and went straight to the showers. He needed to get his head on straight. Standing under the spray of hot water, Kayden wished the soap could wash away all the unwanted emotions he was feeling.

  One day seemed to blur into another now. Back in his room, Kayden glared at his reflection, but he wasn’t seeing himself standing there in the mirror. He was imagining what Lindsay must be going through over at the infirmary. His stomach was in knots with worry for the beautiful female. Kayden was torn between his duty and his personal wants, and it was pissing him off. He had a raid to lead, and his head was in the wrong place. This was why he didn’t do relationships.

  Kayden didn’t have time for personal entanglements. When you allowed distractions to fuck with your head things slipped through the cracks, just like he had tripped through an agility course he should be able to complete with ease. When your priorities get twisted, people get hurt. Kayden had too many people depending on him to make mistakes, and he’d been reminding himself of this fact for days, but he still couldn’t stop thinking about Lindsay. Her life was hanging in the balance, and there was nothing Kayden could do to help her. Lindsay was a vampire, and they were notoriously hard to kill. The abuse her body had endured must have been horrific if it couldn’t mend itself. Kayden wanted to see all the data on Lindsay’s stay with Sheena’s doctors that might be on the computer they’d recovered, but the encryption still hadn’t been broken yet.

  He was in over his head here. Kayden wanted to believe that he was feeling protective of the female because he’d rescued her. He had carried Lindsay out of that cell in his arms and didn’t let go until they reached the infirmary. She’d clung to him in her sleep, trusting him to keep her safe. So now he felt responsible for her somehow. That’s what Kayden wanted to believe, but it was a lie. That pissed him off, too, because Kayden didn’t lie to himself. He’d helped many people out of dangerous situations in the last couple of years during his time with the Horde. The truth was Kayden didn’t know why he was so twisted up over Lindsay. He just was, and he didn’t like it.

  It was like the first time he met Lindsay. She’d taken over his mind entirely. Even avoiding her hadn’t helped as much as he’d hoped it would. The difference between then and now was that Kayden wasn’t a young punk running from his fears. There was something real between them. When she looked into his eyes, there was a spark he couldn’t deny. When
Lindsay was more than half mad with fear and withdrawal, Kayden was the only person able to calm her down. He’d wanted her when she was a college student hitting the club at night and wandering around town alone during the day. Years later, he still wanted her when she kissed him in a bloody cell. She was abused and angry. Tears were running down her too thin face, and she had a death wish, but Kayden could only focus on how good it felt to hold her again.

  He had some real-life decisions to make, but first, he needed Lindsay to survive. He’d been there to see her every day that he wasn’t on a mission, but she wasn’t awake. The doctor was still monitoring Lindsay in a sleep state until she felt it was safe to try and wake her. Holding her cold hand and staring at her beautiful face but not being able to talk to her was starting to drive Kayden a little crazy.

  “Are you sure you’re up for this, man? You’re distracted. I never get this close without you noticing me. I’ve been standing here for a few minutes watching you scowl at yourself in the mirror,” Hawk asked Kayden from the doorway, pulling Kayden’s attention away from his thoughts of Lindsay. Hawk looked foreboding with his permanent scowl and his usual monochromatic black gear and duster. His long, dark hair was pulled back in a braid—a sure sign that they were about to kick some ass. Hawk braided his hair when he expected a good fight.

  “Yeah, I’m good. I’m just a little tired.” Kayden crossed to his bunk and sat to pull on his boots with a weary sigh. He really was exhausted. He had to start sleeping in his bed in the barracks instead of in a chair at the infirmary.

  “I guess you are tired. We were on the hunt for days with little rest. As soon as we returned you were at the infirmary with Rapunzel. We’re headed back out just over twenty-four hours later, and as far as I know, you still haven’t caught any shut-eye.”

  “Rapunzel?” Kayden knew who Hawk was referring to, but he wasn’t ready to talk about his instantaneous fascination with Lindsay. Nobody else knew about the night he’d spent with her. So to someone on the outside, it would look like this attraction had come out of nowhere and at a really messed up time.

  “Yeah, you know, that long legged chick with golden tresses that go on forever and ever.” Hawk’s voice had raised a few octaves higher than Kayden believed was possible for the giant of a male. He was teasing Kayden. Kayden’s fixation hadn’t gone unnoticed by his friend.

  “You know that girl is messed up, right? She’s been through hell, quite literally. She might not even live through this shit. She’s an addict, not that it’s her fault, but the facts are that even if she lives, Lindsay is going to be fighting an uphill battle.”

  “So what are you saying? I shouldn’t care if she lives or dies because she’ll be fucked up anyway?” Kayden glared up at Hawk.

  “Of course, I want the girl to live and recover fully. Her life is just as valuable as any of the kids we’ve taken in.”

  “You mean the kids—and in case you haven’t noticed; ninety-nine percent of those kids are adults—that you’ve taken in, not me. I’m just training them. You provide for them,” Kayden reminded. Hawk looked like a pirate, and maybe he was because he spent a fortune dressing, feeding, and providing shelter for the small army of demi-vamps he’d gathered. Kayden had no idea where the money came from, and he didn’t need to know. Hawk did what needed to be done. Kayden respected the hell out of him for being the savior so many people needed but never found.

  “I do realize that they’re adults, but compared to me, you’re all children. I may be the one they look to as a patriarch.” Hawk nearly choked on the word.

  He had no children of his own, but Hawk had kind of adopted every member of the Horde. Still, he had an issue with being seen as a father figure. “I may be their daddy, but you’re the male they consider to be a leader, a mentor, a commander and chief if you will. You are as important, if not more important to them as I am, Kayden.”

  Hawk often hinted that he was far older than he appeared, but he never verified his actual age. Hawk was about three-quarters vampire. As such, he would be long-lived. Maybe not as long-lived as a full-blooded vampire, but who could say for sure? It really all depended on the individual. They were learning more about the demi-vamps every day. They were all different depending upon the hand dealt to them by the genetic lottery. Human folklore would have you believe vampires were immortal. That part of the myth for humans was as false as the rest of it, other than the fangs and blood drinking. But all myths were born from a grain of truth. To a human, they would seem to be immortal.

  In the roughly eighty years a human would live, age, and die, a vampire could live all that time and age only slightly if they took care of their bodies. So there really was no telling how old a vampire was after the age of twenty-five. Hawk looked to be around thirty, but Kayden knew the big male was much older than his visage suggested.

  “As far as Lindsay goes, she’s a casualty of a war that never should have touched her life. Shit, Kayden, don’t be so defensive. All I’m trying to say is that she’s going to need a lot of support. I know you aren’t very familiar with addiction, given it doesn’t occur in full-blooded vampires. It didn’t use to anyway. I just want you to know that this won’t be a cakewalk. If she makes it through detox, she’s going to need treatment, lots of treatment.”

  “And?” So what if she needed help getting past her addiction? It would be a hard road for Lindsay, but she would get past it. It would happen. It’s not as if relapse was even an option. It’s not like she’s an alcoholic and could get a bottle at the nearest liquor store with ease, or a druggy who could find a dealer. Lindsay was battling a drug that no regular dealer could provide. Sheena was the only source.

  “And … you’re a busy man. You travel constantly. It’s something you should think about. Lindsay seems to be attached to you already. Can you really be there for her?” Hawk asked.

  “Who says I want to?” Kayden replied. Hawk wasn’t saying anything Kayden hadn’t thought of already. He didn’t have time for the complications that came with a relationship. That was why Kayden never let any of the females he slept with get close. To be honest, he hadn’t had sex with anyone in longer than he cared to admit for just that reason. They all wanted more than he could give. In the end, Kayden looked like a womanizer no matter that he was always upfront about his intentions.

  Hawk just shrugged. “I’ll meet you out front. The guys are ready to rock.”

  Kayden finished dressing and strapped on his weapons. He stormed down the hall and took the stairs two at a time. He had work to do. It was time to focus. Kayden was hoping for a fight to release his pent-up anger and frustration. He jumped into the passenger seat of the van Hawk was driving. There were four hybrid vampires in the back going over their mental checklists. They were the most experienced tactical group of Horde soldiers. These guys were all ex-military.

  “Who’s ready to kick some vampire ass?” Kayden asked.

  The soldiers in the back shouted, “Fuck yeah!” nearly in unison. Kayden smiled over his shoulder at them. They were so pumped to be back in action. Hawk grinned as he pulled away from the curb.

  Lindsay woke slowly. Her limbs were heavy, and her eyes weren’t ready to open. The first sensation that crept into her consciousness was nausea, but it wasn’t as severe as she expected. Her head was throbbing with every beat of her heart. Confused and more than a little afraid, she attempted to focus on her surroundings, trying to figure out where she was and why she couldn’t move. Were they testing some crazy new drug on her?

  Her sense of hearing gradually sharpened. She could hear voices nearby, so she stopped trying to move her limbs. Until she knew where she was and what her current situation was it was best to appear to be sleeping. The voices became sharper until finally, they were familiar and very welcome. These were people she’d thought about the most during her captivity. They’d been her only hope, and thankfully, her friends had come through in the end and not a moment too soon.

  Lindsay’s memory of her rescue becam
e clear along with the concerned conversation happening around her. She tried to speak or move to let them know she was awake, but the drug in her system was wearing off slowly. It was a tranquilizer that made her feel incredibly heavy and weak. Kayden had hit her with a sedative. Her heart broke just a little. He had stuck her with a needle. The jerk knew she hated needles. She wanted to be angry instead of hurt, but Lindsay was missing a chunk of time before she’d been given the sedative. That could only mean one thing: she’d been out of control. The vampire who lived in Lindsay now had been up to no good again.

  Her friends’ conversation became loud enough for her to comprehend, so Lindsay tuned in on them instead of her irrational feeling of betrayal.

  “Why isn’t she awake yet?” Dani asked impatiently. “The doctor said it would only be a few hours. She should be awake.”

  “The doctor said it would be at least a few hours. Just relax. She’ll wake up when her body is ready,” Brandi replied.

  “What if she can’t wake up? What if …” Dani’s voice trailed off.

  “She’s going to wake up, Dani. They didn’t give her the same drug you had. She’s fine. I’m worried, too, but she’s a strong woman. Look at what she’s already been through. Lindsay is going to recover fully. Just watch and see,” Brandi pronounced with conviction.

  Lindsay wanted to smile, but her facial muscles weren’t working yet. She’d missed Dani so much after Dani left school. It was funny how fast you could become attached to another person. If it hadn’t been for the time Lindsay spent with Brandi at David’s nest, Lindsay would have given up on life when she found herself in Hotel Hell.