Unmerciful_Forbidden Bonds

by Cat Miller

  By the time dinner was served and the dishes were done the sun was going down over the trees. Off in the distance, Lindsay saw a large fire pit burning closer to the trees. Logs were circling the pit as seating, and other chairs and benches were arranged around the area. Somebody was playing guitar, more than one someone actually. Several people were filling the air with the sound of strings.

  “Are you tired? Or do you feel up to a little relaxation by the fire?” Kayden asked. He waited patiently for her reply with no judgment, but she could tell by the way his eyes lit up when the music started that he wanted to stay. Lindsay did, too.

  “I’d love to stay. Do you play?” she asked as they walked hand in hand toward the warm glow of flames and voices murmured as so many conversations blended together.

  “I do, a little,” Kayden admitted. “I’m not very good, but I can strum a few chords.”

  They entered the circle of logs, and people cheered when they saw Kayden. The Horde indeed looked up to Kayden as a leader. They needed him as much as Lindsay did, and they weren’t shy about letting him know that they wanted him around.

  “Come play,” Owen called from his seat on a log where he was tuning a guitar.

  One of the women sat next to Owen and placed a violin on her shoulder. She started playing an instrumental version of a rock song. It was awesome. She was incredibly talented.

  “No, I’ll just sit back here with Lindsay.” Kayden waved Owen off.

  “No, no, go play!” Lindsay encouraged.

  Kayden seemed unsure. “How are you holding up, honestly?”

  “I’m doing fine, I promise. I haven’t had any issues with the crowd. Have some fun. All you do is work. I’ll be here enjoying the evening with you. Go be with your friends.”

  “If you’re sure.” Kayden smiled and kissed her briefly.

  “I’m sure,” she replied with an equally happy grin.

  Kayden trotted off to find a seat with the musicians. He was handed a guitar and when he pulled the strap over his shoulder and began to strum along, Lindsay’s panties melted. What was it about a musician that made them even hotter? Lord, she was going to need a change of clothes if he didn’t stop beaming and playing like an old pro. One of the men was singing, and there were girls singing back-up. The beautiful and free sound of joy floated in the air and Lindsay was utterly drawn in. When Owen insisted Kayden sing, Lindsay was nearly knocked off of her log by surprise. He kept the beat by drumming on his guitar with his thick fingers while others played the strings. A roar of approval rose when Kayden began to sing a song about being bad company. His voice was rich and full and perfect. Lindsay was inevitably going to need a panty change after this display of talent. She was singing along and swaying in her seat when someone broke the spell Kayden had cast over her with his voice.

  “You know he only wants you because you’re a changeling, vampire in distress. It won’t last long though. You aren’t the one that got away. None of us are. He tosses us away as soon as we get clingy,” Jamie informed Lindsay from behind.

  “Excuse me?” Lindsay was shocked that Jamie was so rude after what Kayden told everyone about his feelings for Lindsay. She got to her feet and turned around. Everyone was so engrossed in the music and party that Lindsay and Jamie were virtually alone in the last row of logs. Jamie was standing almost unseen in the trees. She was a gorgeous, petite blonde with big blue eyes and a big rack she should probably cover up before she got a cold. Lord, her shirt was about to split at the seams.

  “You think you’re special, but you aren’t. None of us are. I thought I was ‘the one’ too until I saw Kayden with Danielle the wonder vamp. Kayden loves Danielle, and no one else will do, but she’s mated so Kayden just uses the closest pretty girl he can get his hands on until he’s ready to move on. You aren’t even a half-breed either. You’re a useless changeling. Do you really believe he will settle for someone like you?” Jamie gestured at Lindsay as if she’d been judged and found less than up to par.

  There was enough venom in Jamie’s voice to kill instantly. Luckily for Lindsay, she was pretty hard to kill. If Sheena hadn’t gotten the job done, this woman surely couldn’t do it.

  “All I know is what Kayden has told me. He loves me, and I love him. You heard him say it. I don’t feel the need to prove anything to you. Petty jealousy isn’t my forte.” Lindsay wouldn’t trade insults with Jamie. She started to walk away toward Kayden’s house. The evening had lost its magic. Maybe Lindsay could find Koren and chat with her until Kayden was ready to take her home.

  “You’ll be nothing but a substitute for her. He loved her, and he lost her because he couldn’t get past the fact that she was half human. She sprung it on him at the last minute. Did you know he asked her to be is mate, too? He even gave her a human engagement ring, but he couldn’t close the deal once he learned she had dirty human blood. Didn’t want that shit muddying his bloodline. You can’t even give him kids, and you think it’s going to work out? Good luck.” Jamie chuckled. “Want me to tell you his favorite positions? Maybe it will help, but I doubt it,” Jamie taunted cruelly.

  Lindsay’s steps faltered. She was breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth trying to control her temper. The sharpness of her vision verified that Lindsay’s eyes had shifted in her anger. Her gums throbbed as her fangs descended into her mouth. She didn’t want to lose it, but Lindsay could feel an episode coming on. She clenched her fists and tried to remember that she was in control. She could fight the rage.

  “If you really loved him, you’d walk away and never look back,” Jamie suggested from right behind Lindsay.

  As a parting shot, it had been pretty effective. Especially since she really did love Kayden and wanted only the best for him. There was nothing Lindsay could say in response. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t respond, though. Lindsay spun around in a whirl of fury and hurt. She grabbed Jamie by the throat and lifted her jealous ass right off the ground. Lindsay was a good eight inches taller than Jamie, and she was clearly stronger than Jamie considering the woman dangled there, struggling to break free from Lindsay’s hold so she could breathe. Jamie’s eyes were wide with fear. Her face was turning a painful shade of red the longer Lindsay held her aloft. The urge to toss the other woman into the trees with all of her vampire strength was strong. So was the need to break her scrawny neck. This woman was a threat. The vampire in her wanted to eliminate the threat. The human in her wasn’t disagreeing, but Lindsay wasn’t a monster. She was just a woman in love. Lindsay wouldn’t let this envious half-breed vampire rob her of her humanity. Jamie was turning blue while Lindsay’s internal debate raged on. The choking noises she was making, and the way her lips were turning blue went a long way to assuaging Lindsay’s anger.

  Lindsay pulled Jamie closer to her face to whisper, “Fuck you.” She gave Jamie a good shake before she threw her to the ground. Jamie sputtered and coughed while crawling away in search of safety.

  There wasn’t much else Lindsay could say. It was all true. Lindsay knew it, and so did the rest of the vampire world. She was useless, a burden, an ex-addict murderer that people avoided. Tears filled Lindsay’s eyes. The knowledge of her deficiencies was a painful pill to swallow.

  She choked back her tears and with it her self-pity. She wouldn’t let the woman gasping for air on the ground see her cry. The familiar burn of a violent building explosion kindled to life in her belly and began to spread to her limbs. Lindsay wanted to hurt Jamie in a permanent way. She turned around and charged off toward the deeper woods. She needed to be alone if she was going to go into a berserker rage. Lindsay had believed she’d beaten this disorder now that she was no longer addicted to Hypervamp, but the need to hurt someone was undeniable. She had to get as far away from the Horde as she could because if she hurt any of Kayden’s people, Lindsay would never forgive herself. So Lindsay set a steady pace into the nighttime darkness and solitude of the forest. She’d been trotting along at an angry clip for a while when she heard foots
teps and the cracking of twigs.

  “Lindsay, where are you going?” Kayden called to her from a distance. She didn’t stop—she didn’t want him to see her like this again—but it didn’t take him long to catch up. She really needed to remember she was a vampire and could move a lot faster if she wanted to get away, but her brain still worked like a human’s. Kayden grabbed her arm and turned her to face him.

  “What happened? Tell me what’s wrong?” Kayden was seething.

  What was he so angry about? She was the one who was second best.

  “Nothing happened. I just want to go home.” As if she had one. Lindsay had to talk around her fangs.

  “Don’t lie to me.” Kayden shook her a little. “You wouldn’t be running from me if nothing had happened. You look like you’re about to lose it.”

  Lindsay was about to lose it. She wouldn’t be able to think straight until she released some of the violence building in her chest. Lindsay spun away from Kayden. The closest large tree became her target. She pounded on the trunk of the innocent tree while visions of choking the life out of the woman who’d made Lindsay doubt Kayden’s love for her floated through her mind. She kicked and punched and raged at the tree until her fists bled freely and Kayden wrapped his arms around her from behind. Caging her in and stopping the assault on the tree. Lindsay’s chest heaved from her exertion, and her heart ached.

  “Hellion, please talk to me. What brought this on? Let me help you.” Kayden turned Lindsay to face him. He looked at her face. No doubt her eyes and fangs made her look like a demon. Or a vampire.

  “Are you still in love with Dani? Tell me the truth.” Lord, she sounded like a jealous girlfriend. All right, maybe she was a jealous girlfriend.

  “What? No, I’m not in love with her. I’m in love with you. I will always love her like family, though, just like I love Chase. You know this, Lindsay. Where is this coming from?”

  “Am I second best? Or I some sort of penance for you after the way you rejected Dani? I don’t want to be your atonement for what you did to another kind-of-but-not-really human chick.”

  Kayden’s mouth fell open. He closed it and opened it a couple of times, looking like he was considering the validity of her accusations. Lindsay couldn’t stand there and wait for him to confirm her fears. She wanted to hurt someone, and it couldn’t be Kayden. She never wanted to lay a hand on him in anger again.

  “Wait, Lindsay, we need to talk this out! Don’t you fucking walk away from me, woman!” He stopped her again.

  Now his eyes matched hers and his fangs pressed into his lower lip. Damn, his fangs were huge, way longer than Lindsay’s.

  “You don’t need to explain. I get it.” Lindsay turned away and kept moving through the trees. It didn’t matter that she had no idea where she was going. She wondered briefly if bears and other wild animals could smell blood in the air like sharks could smell it in the water. Her hands were throbbing and dripping blood.

  “You don’t get a damn thing! We’re having this out right now. You want to know if I loved Dani? Is that what this is about? Yes, I did love her. I have never lied to you, and I won’t start now.” Kayden caught up and spun her around, holding her in place with his hands wrapped around her upper arms.

  Lindsay winced. It stung to hear him admit to loving another woman.

  “That was then. I got over it. Did it hurt at first? Yes, it did, but you know what? I realized that we weren’t meant to be. If I had been the male for her, if I had loved her enough, nothing would have frightened me enough to walk away from her. I knew right away that I couldn’t bond myself to her. That’s why I never made an attempt to get her back. I did love her and I always will. Dani helped me move past my childish self-absorption. I refuse to pretend she wasn’t an important part of my life,” Kayden pulled Lindsay into his arms, “but, Lindsay, that’s all in the past. My feelings for you are in no way connected to what happened between Dani and me. I’d love to know who was talking shit and got you so upset. They could have cost me my mate.” If it was possible, Kayden’s fangs seemed to grow even longer. He was pissed. Like, pound a tree pissed off.

  “You don’t think this is just your guilty conscience or some shit?” It sounded ridiculous when she said it aloud, but she really wasn’t in her right mind.

  Kayden laughed. He straight up laughed in her face. “Lindsay, do you know me at all? If I feel guilty about something, I might try to make amends. I would definitely apologize, but I would not condemn myself to a loveless union for the sole purpose of punishing myself. After we were mated, I would be devoted to you, but I’m a warrior. We mate for love. Not out of obligation or for connections and certainly not out of guilt. I love you, Lindsay. I want you to be my mate no matter what problems you have or how you were born or what the future might bring us. That’s a love worth mating for. I’ve never loved like that before you. And that’s why I wasn’t mated. Now I know what it means to be in love. I know why Dani and Chase are so good together. I understand why my dad looks at my mom the way he does. I get it because I have it. I have you. I’d mate you right this minute if you’d let me.”

  Lindsay didn’t think before she spoke, she just blurted what was in her heart and mind. “Do it then. Let’s have the mating thingy. I love you more than my next breath, Kayden. I meant it when I said you were my one true love. If you are willing to settle for a broken woman who loves you more than you’ll ever know, then I’ll be your mate here and now.”

  Kayden’s arms tightened around Lindsay, nearly squeezing the air from her lungs. “Do you mean it? Be sure you mean it, Lindsay, because there is no taking it back. This is for life and life is a really long time. I love you.” Kayden released her with one arm to caress her face. “Please tell me you mean it.”

  If there was one thing she was sure of, it was her feelings for him. There was no fear, no hesitation. Just the need to tie herself to Kayden in any way she could. He’d told her before to let him make his own choices instead of assuming she knew what he wanted. That’s what she would do. She’d let him do whatever it was that made him happy. In the end, that was all she’d ever want, Kayden’s joy. Even if it weren’t with her that gave him that pleasure. Love really sucked.

  “I want this. I want you,” she said.

  “You will move in with me immediately if we’re mated. Do you understand? I won’t be able to tolerate being separated from you. I’ll get us a tent while we look for a home.”

  “Okay.” Lindsay nodded her agreement. She didn’t like being away from him now. It would be worse if they were married.

  “We will never speak of my past with Dani or yours with Abel again. It’s gone. And you’ll be in here with me.” Kayden touched his chest. “Do you understand?”

  Lindsay didn’t think she really did understand, but she agreed anyway. She’d figure it out soon enough. “I’m ready.”

  “We’re in the woods. This is no place for a mating. You deserve so much better.” Kayden looked around, and his regret was obvious, but she also saw his determination. He had her agreement, and he meant to follow through. “I’ll make it up to you, baby, I promise.

  “I’m going to give you the vows, Lindsay. These are sacred words. Will you repeat them back to me?” Kayden asked solemnly, taking her hands.

  “I will,” Lindsay agreed with her heart in her eyes. He was serious. Kayden was going to make Lindsay his mate right now.

  “Lindsay, I vow to love you for the whole of my existence. I vow to protect you to my last breath. I vow to cherish the gift of your returned love for all time. I vow to always remain grateful for the female that will from this day forth be the one and only mate of my soul.” Kayden smiled.

  Lindsay’s eyes filled with tears. It was so beautiful, and Kayden meant every word. With a little help, she repeated the words to Kayden.

  “Kayden, I vow to love you for the whole of my existence. I vow to protect you to my last breath. I vow to cherish the gift of your returned love for all time. I vow to always
remain grateful for the man that will from this day forth be the one and only mate of my soul.” Lindsay’s heart was so full it felt like it might burst.

  Kayden yanked his shirt over his head. He turned his attention to her shirt then, yanking at the front until the buttons popped off and scattered to the ground. He didn’t give Lindsay time to wonder what he would do next. Kayden lifted her into his arms so they were chest to chest and he sank those long, white fangs into her neck.

  Lindsay struggled in shock and pain at first, but Kayden held her tightly to him, groaning with pleasure and sucking and lapping at her throat. It burned like a hot knife until suddenly it didn’t anymore. An instinct she couldn’t explain overwhelmed Lindsay. She felt Kayden lapping at her throat. It was natural and necessary for her to do the same. She sank her fangs into Kayden’s shoulder. Lindsay had bitten Kayden, but she didn’t swallow. She still hated drinking blood and sometimes she forgot to swallow until her mouth was full. The taste of Kayden’s blood was nothing she’d experienced so far. Her tongue was coated in silky warmth when she remembered to withdraw her fangs and drink. That was the moment her life changed forever. She was alone in her mind one moment, and the next Kayden was there with her. He was there in the back of her mind like a bright spot where love and desire and complete acceptance beat along with her own heart. She had all the proof she’d ever need of his love and devotion as soon as their minds came together. They were together, and nothing but death would ever pull them apart.