“Well, hopefully, you have better luck than I do,” he mutters, empty eyes staring right at me. He doesn’t look like he normally does, somehow turning into an empty fraction of himself.
At this point, I don’t even know what to do anymore. Nothing I’m saying is helping and it just seems like he wants to stay under the depressive rock that he’s so determined to hide under. I head toward the door of his bedroom and open it, go down the stairwell, and see Zane sitting at the kitchen table. “Can you and I talk for a minute?”
He nods. “Yeah, sure. What’s up?”
“I need you to do a favor for me.”
He furrows his brows. “Depends on the favor.”
“Sydney can’t stay here with Dad. He’s not acting like himself and I don’t think it’s healthy for her to stay here. Since you’re staying with Ashley and Blackjack for a while, can you take Sydney under your wing? She can stay in Noelle’s room since there’s another twin bed in there, but I need you to watch out for her . . . ‘cause I don’t know if Dad will come out of this.”
“C’mon, you can’t be serious,” Zane says, and I can tell he doesn’t want to admit that our Dad is deep in the depression pit, but I won’t sugar coat it.
“Even after Mom died, he wasn’t this bad, Zane. I just need you to watch out for her. Please. Ivy and I are still leaving in a couple of weeks and I need to know that she’s going to be okay.”
He chuckles. “It’s ironic, isn’t it? You hated that little brat who cried every day and night when she was a baby, and now you want me to watch out for her.”
“She’s grown on me. Plus, she’s not so bratty anymore.”
He crosses his arms and looks over to where she’s sitting on the couch. “Yeah, I’ll watch out for her.”
“Zane, if this shit with Dad doesn’t get better, I need you to promise me that you’ll care for her like she’s your own daughter. Can you do that?”
“Shit, someone is getting really serious on me.” He laughs, but from the look in his eye, I can tell he’s taking me seriously.
“I’m not fuckin’ around right now.”
He stares at her for a few moments and I imagine he’s in deep thought. His eyes venture back to mine as he speaks, “She’s lost too many people. I’m afraid what will happen to her if she loses Dad too, so yeah, I’ll watch over her. Tank was a good friend and Saffron was the sweetest thing on the planet. You’re right about Dad, even if I don’t want to admit it. Regardless, I’ll be here for her and I won’t leave her. Guess I’m kinda like a Dad now, huh?”
“Sort of.” I give him a half smile, breathing a little easier now that I know Sydney will be taken care of. Zane always keeps his promises, so he’ll be sure not to break this one. “I’d better get going. It’s Ivy’s birthday and I want to make sure that we go out and do something in town. She’s had a rough time of it and we need to do something to celebrate.”
“Alright, well, have a good time. We should talk about how we’re going to re-build before Thanksgiving.”
“Yep, sounds like a plan.”
25
“Life is what you celebrate. All of it. Even if it’s the end.”
~Joanne Harris
Ivy
I know it’s my birthday, but boy does it feel wrong to be going into town with Kade right now. With everything that’s happened, I feel guilty for even wanting to take time to celebrate. So much pain has filled our lives over the past week, and it feels insensitive for us to go out.
“Are you alright?” Kade asks, holding my hand as we walk down Main Street.
I turn my lip up at him in discomfort. “No, not really. I don’t think we should be doing this,” I admit, hoping that he doesn’t get upset with me.
“Doing what exactly? We’re not committing a crime.” He chuckles.
I huff, “Celebrating my birthday, it just feels so wrong to be doing this right now.”
Kade rolls his eyes, takes his hand away from mine, and wraps his arm around my shoulder. “You have a big heart and it’s why I love you so damned much, but that’s ridiculous. We’re alive, babe. That means we need to cherish every moment that we have and live life to the fullest. If you think Cracker or Saffron would want us to be moping around in grief, you’re wrong.”
“Ugh, I don’t know! I just feel so messed up. What if Blossom was right and this is all my fault?” Fuck, I realize I’ve slipped up the moment it passes through my lips.
Kade stops in his tracks, looking down at me with concern. “What are you talking about?”
I never really went into details of what happened after I was up in the house. It felt petty to even bring it up, and she was nothing but a spiteful cunt. I didn’t want to waste my breath or get Kade angry. I know him very well and once he’s irritated, it’s hard to get him to calm down, even if it is something that happened in the past.
“Blossom was in your Dad’s house and said some shit she shouldn’t have.” I keep it short and simple, not wanting to elaborate any further but I know I won’t be so lucky. Kade will end up pushing me for an answer.
“Sorry, Vampy, but you don’t get to do that right now. Fess up and let me know what’s going on.”
“She said it was all my fault, that I am the sole person to blame for the Bears coming to the clubhouse. She got on me about stealing you from her and other shit too, but what she said has fucked with my head a little bit. I mean, would he have even come for the clubhouse if you and I weren’t together? Did he only do that because of our involvement? Are their deaths on my conscience?”
Kade growls out his reply, “Blossom always forgot her fuckin’ place. She was never an ol’ lady, only the type of bitch you sink your cock in when you need a little relief. I hate that she got in your head, babe, but this isn’t your fault. Deep down, I know you understand that, and if you keep taking blame that isn’t yours, you’re just allowing Blossom to have the upper hand on you, and I don’t want her to win. Pretty sure you don’t either.”
“She’s not fuckin’ winning,” I grumble out, glaring at him.
“Good, ‘cause whatever comes out of that mouth of hers is only bullshit. I don’t want you focusing or plaguing your mind with doubts or feelings that don’t have any business being there. It’s your fuckin’ birthday, babe, and we’re gonna celebrate. So, tell me, where are we stopping at first? The bakery on the corner?”
I look across the street and can already see the colorful cakes and desserts in the window. They’re vibrant, well designed, and quite frankly are calling my name. “Yes, give me all the cake!” The thought of cake causes me to walk a little quicker, wanting nothing but to get over to that bakery as soon as possible.
The second we get there, Kade is quick to open the door for me as we walk in. The bakery is absolutely adorable. I didn’t realize how many shops had done some renovations, but much like the restaurant, this is one of them.
A glass display lines the entire place in a giant L shape, and behind it are giant white subway tiles with black grout. The floor is made up of a honey oak stained wood, and the hardware to the sink and drawers are made up of a brassy color that compliments the wood floor. The seating area has plush, comfortable chairs accented with light stone table tops. I feel like I’ve walked out of Montana and to some nice place in New York City.
“What’re you thinking?” he asks, standing beside me as we peer into the display.
“Welcome to Tart. How can I help you both today?” a man comes in from what I assume is the kitchen and asks us.
“I think we’re still deciding what we want, but if you have any recommendations that would be lovely,” I say while my eyes search through the case. I see everything from eclairs and cannolis to carrot cake, and even some sort of cherry pie. My eyes have always been bigger than my stomach, so I’m careful to not pick anything quite yet. I want to make sure I’ve had the time to look over everything.
“Are you Joseph?” Kade asks, and right about now I feel a bit odd like something’s up.
“Yep, that’s me. Ah, you must be Kade! Let me get your stuff ready.” Joseph is quick to disappear back behind the doors he came from before I can even ask the question.
“What did you do?” I raise my brow, staring at Kade in a way that silently demands an answer.
“Eh, nothin’ really. Just gave Joseph the heads up we were coming and had him prepare a tasting for us.”
I don’t know if Kade realizes it, but he’s just confused me in more ways than he realizes. Tastings aren’t usually something you have at a bakery unless you’re getting married. “Wait, do you mean like a wedding cake tasting?”
“I guess, I’m not sure. I just told him we wanted to taste some damn cake, and lots of it ‘cause my pregnant girlfriend has really been craving sweets.”
“Oh, okay.” My heart jumped from my chest into my throat. I swear, I thought he had something else up his sleeve that was going to give me a heart attack.
Kade takes my hand in his and leads me over to a booth on the wall, sliding in across from me. He opens his coat and pulls out a letter, handing it across the table to me. “What is this?”
“Well, I believe it’s the test results that we’ve been waiting on. It’s in Dad’s name, but the return to address is a laboratory. I intercepted it yesterday, and figured you might want to open it today.”
“As some sort of birthday gift?” I laugh, inserting my index finger at the end, I drag it along the edge until it’s completely ripped. I feel like the folded up paper inside is just begging for me to pull it out but I’m afraid. I’m scared because what if the result isn’t what everyone is expecting?
All my life, I’ve grown up thinking I’m Grizzly’s daughter but hushed whispers and judgemental eyes knew long before I did that I’m not. He found out when I was a little girl about the truth and didn’t tell me. Only a few short weeks ago did I find out about Machk, and I just can’t help but think . . . what happens if he isn’t my father? I’ve been so prepared for the results to say that he is that I’m not sure what I would do if he isn’t. I would be starting fresh I suppose.
“Is something the matter?” I can hear the worry in Kade’s voice, probably looking at me, thinking I’m a looney staring at this piece of paper inside an open envelope.
“Uh, I don’t think so. I’m just afraid if it says no.”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of. If it says no, then we’ll deal with it, but if it says yes, then we’ll deal with that. What’s the worst that can happen?”
“I don’t know who my father is and I have major daddy issues for the rest of my life.” I move my eyes from the envelope and stare up into his eyes as I speak, and I can see the way he’s trying to fight laughter.
I shake my head and pull the paper free from the envelope, open it, and read over the scientific terminology. It explains how the test works and how the DNA markers will determine if two people are actually related. As I read further, it shows me a diagram of two different options, if DNA markers match and the two people are related or if DNA markers don’t match and they aren’t related. It explains that my DNA results will be on the following page and I turn the page over slowly reading through the material. I look at the diagram and see things matching up like in the previous page’s diagram and then skim my eyes down to the bottom where my percentage guarantee is.
I hand the paper over to Kade while the shock of what I just read sinks in. “Holy shit, Dad was right,” he mutters, a huge smile crossing his face. “You’re Machk’s daughter.”
I should be relieved, however, I’m not. The only thing I’m feeling right now is overwhelmed like something is sitting on top of my chest making it harder for me to breathe. It’s a relief to know Grizzly isn’t my father, but at the same time, now I have to learn about an entirely different family. I’ve overheard that Machk has a wife and adopted a couple of kids, plus there is Austin, who is my full-blood brother, who my Mom and Machk adopted out when they were very young.
“Alright you two, here we are.” Joseph sets down a long silver tray with six miniature cake things displayed on top. I can see different types of filling and each cake is a different color. “We have carrot cake with a semi-sweet buttercream, a lemon cake with a fruit filling, wedding cake with a raspberry almond filling, chocolate with a mousse filling, red velvet with the standard cream cheese filling, and a chocolate chip cookie dough with a whipped cream filling.” As Joseph continues to speak, I see something on the wedding cake, sitting right on top of the almond filling that’s in a beautiful rose on the top. It sparkles and I have to look a little closer to really make out what it is.
“Oh my god. Stop. Is that real?!” I shriek, looking at Kade like he’s lost his damn mind. He branded me, but we’ve never talked about marriage.
“As real as the cake in front of you, babe.” At Kade’s words, Joseph slowly backs away while smiling with a shit eating grin on his face.
“Whoa. I’m in shock. Holy crap,” I stutter out, staring at the ring. This isn’t a small diamond, or at least it isn’t small in my eyes. It has to be a couple of carats big, otherwise, it wouldn’t be sparkling this much. I wouldn’t have noticed it. Oh my lord!
Kade picks the ring up off the icing and slides out of his side of the booth, dropping down on one knee before my eyes. “You might not have realized this but I’ve been planning for this moment since the first time we met. I knew that I wanted you in my life for the long term, not something short and minuscule. It’s why I want you to be my girl, my ol’ lady, my ride or die, but I don’t only want that. I want you to be my wife. I’m just hoping that you’ll do me the honor of agreeing.”
Tears fill my eyes as I look at the hopeless romantic kneeling before me. He’s something straight out of a Hallmark movie right now, and I’d never thought I’d see the day where this would happen.
I stare at him, ring in hand, thinking about how lucky I am to have found someone who treats me with such dignity and grace. As a child, my mother always called me her princess, but now is when I really feel like one.
“Uh . . . Ivy? Are you gonna keep makin’ me stroke out right now or are you gonna say something?”
“Oh! Yes, yes, yes. I want to marry you!” I stumble out, smacking my lips down on his and wrapping my arms around his neck, holding onto him for dear life.
This is what happiness is about and I can honestly say this is the best damn birthday I’ve ever had.
26
Trust what you feel, not what you hear.
~FB/ The Idealist
Kade
Yesterday was a whirlwind of trying to keep my shit together until I got her to that damn bakery and finally being able to propose. Relieved can’t even describe how I felt when she accepted. I was so worried that she might have her senses come to her and say no.
Thanksgiving is coming up in two days, but we’ve all decided to have it today, bypassing some of the craziness at the grocery store but also hoping that we can bring everyone together. Dad is still having a rough time of it, and while I’m not uncompassionate for the world of pain he’s enduring, I also think he needs to move forward and put on a brave face. It’s probably easy for me to think that though. If the roles were reversed and Zane died and then Ivy on the same day, I might be worse than he is right now. I’m not really sure.
We all made sure to pile into Dad’s house, going to the closest bulk store and got everything we could need from paper plates, napkins, cups, a whole bunch of food and drinks. We lost everything in the fire and don’t have much besides what’s at our house, Tex’s, and Blackjack’s.
I tried to talk to Dad about our rebuilding plans this morning but he was still insisting on staying upstairs in his bed.
“Are we going to include him in on this conversation?” Zane asks, taking a seat beside me in the sunroom. It’s a bit chilly in here, but the space heater does a good job of keeping it manageable.
“If you think you can bring him down here from his bed, by all means, let’s include him.�
�� I try not to have any attitude filter into my tone, but it’s kinda hard.
Zane gives me a stern look, one that tells me how badly he wants to tell me to shut the fuck up. “Alright, it’s your way then. An insurance claim has been filed and for some reason, we had a million dollar policy in case something like this happened. It’s enough to build the club back up to be better than it was before and leave a lot extra untouched.”
“Damn, I never thought Dad would prepare this much,” I confess, looking out the window to where our club used to be.
Zane shrugs. “He’s never been an imbecile, but I can’t say I wasn’t surprised to see the type of policy we had. Dad made me his medical power of attorney a year back and Doc wrote a letter to the insurance company to let them know he’s medically unfit to make decisions right now. Depression and all.”
“Makes sense, I was about to ask how the hell you were getting information.”
“I made a call to Doc, she came up here to look at ‘em and agreed with me. He can’t make decisions until he gets over this depression and wrote the letter. She faxed it into the insurance company and that was that. The money will probably take another couple of weeks to get here, and based on the amount, we’ll be lucky to have it clear by Christmas. I called the manager at the bank to see what type of hold would be placed on it, and she told me it could be up to ten business days.”
I nod, knowing that there would be a process to all of this. “Okay, so what’s the plan then?”
“I’ve thought about a few options and we’re going to add more onto the clubhouse. We’ll make it two levels, making the second floor strictly bedrooms. The square footage will still be the same downstairs and I’ve already spoken with a couple of construction workers who want the contract. We can have ten bedrooms upstairs with ensuite bathrooms, plus the same layout we had downstairs for a little over four hundred. That leaves us with a good amount left over for a rainy day, but I’m thinking we should put a few houses up here on the hill. Nothing too fancy, but maybe two or three three bedroom homes.”
Kade Page 15
