The Limelight

by Louisa Keller

  Serotonin Sindrome Fall 2018 Tour Schedule

  August 26th, 2018 – Dublin, Ireland

  August 29th, 2018 – London, United Kingdom

  August 31st, 2018 – Paris, France

  September 3rd, 2018 – Brussels, Belgium

  September 5th, 2018 – Amsterdam, Netherlands

  September 8th, 2018 – Oslo, Norway

  September 10th, 2018 – Stockholm, Sweden

  September 13th, 2018 – Berlin, Germany

  September 15th, 2018 – Warsaw, Poland

  September 18th, 2018 – Prague, Czech Republic

  September 21st, 2018 – Rome, Italy

  September 25th, 2018 – Athens, Greece

  September 28th, 2018 – Madrid, Spain

  October 1st, 2018 – Barcelona, Spain

  15

  Porter

  Elspeth, ME

  It took a while to actually get to Levi’s hometown, between the Lyft to the airport, the flights and layover, and then the two hours in the car after we landed in Portland. I spent the majority of the trip passed out under the influence of sleeping pills.

  When I awoke, it was like I had been transported to another world. Obviously, I had been to Maine earlier in the summer, but I had not had the chance to explore the rural areas at all. It was early afternoon, and the sun was shining brightly, practically begging me to get out of the car and find a place to sunbathe.

  Levi pulled the rental car into the driveway of a large cabin-like structure and cut the engine.

  “Hey, sleepyhead,” he said, smiling when he saw that I was awake. “Welcome to my parents’ camp.”

  I blinked slowly, looking around at the lush plants growing all around the camp, and the thick forest spreading out beyond. It was a beautiful place, calming even, and I understood at once why Levi had brought me there.

  We hadn’t packed anything—he had assured me that there was plenty of clothing at the camp—so we didn’t have anything to bring inside with us. We just walked up the sturdy porch steps, passing by a picturesque porch swing, and through the front door.

  I had not had any particular expectations for what it would look like inside, but I was taken aback nonetheless. Every single thing in there was mismatched, from the spiraling braided rugs to the assorted furniture—some of which had clearly been designed for the outdoors. There were odd knickknacks on the walls and a baffling number of small tables scattered around each room.

  Everything felt homey, and I exhaled for what felt like the first time in forever.

  “What is this place?” I asked, my voice awed.

  Levi smiled at me. “I forget what it looks like to people who didn’t grow up in Maine. Camps are generally like this…a little ramshackle, full of weird antiques and homemade decorations and things that have been passed down for generations.”

  “It’s magnificent,” I said, looking around. “Is that a breadbox?”

  Levi glanced up at the object atop the refrigerator and nodded. “It’s weird, but I’m pretty sure every single camp I’ve ever been to has had a breadbox.”

  “I’ve never seen one in real life. It just reminds me of Twenty Questions. You know, ‘is it bigger than a breadbox’?”

  I wandered through the entire house, enchanted by its whimsy. There were beautiful hand sewn quilts on the beds, ornate mirrors hanging in each bedroom, and a huge assortment of games threatening to topple of off a sturdy bookshelf in the main living area.

  “Wanna play Cribbage?” Levi asked, wrapping his arms around me from behind.

  “Uh…”

  “Or we can head out back. It’s probably warm enough to go for a swim.”

  I quirked an eyebrow. “You have a pool here?”

  Levi burst out laughing. “A pool? Baby, we have a lake.”

  My eyes widened. “Holy shit. That actually sounds really nice.”

  The backdoor spit us out into a grassy backyard which sloped gently toward a massive lake. We walked out onto the dock and Levi began stripping down to his boxers.

  “It’s too light out for skinny-dipping, but we can do that later if you want,” he said before unceremoniously launching into a cannonball.

  The water splashed up, refreshing against my sweaty skin. God, the intimacy of that moment. He was so casual, sharing a precious part of his life with me, as if it was a given that I was worthy of it.

  I’m so tired of things being hard, I realized. Maybe I can let myself just enjoy this.

  I pulled off my shirt and pants, leaving them on the dock, and dove in headfirst. The water was cool, soothing my aching muscles as I swam toward Levi. He was treading water about twenty feet out, and grinned when I reached him.

  “I love that you’re here,” he said.

  “I love that you brought me here,” I replied.

  We splashed around in the water for what felt like an eternity, until our limbs were exhausted and our feet were pruny. And still, I did not want to get out. The water was my sanctuary, in that moment. The water and Levi.

  Eventually we crawled up onto the dock and collapsed next to each other, panting from the exertion.

  “Feel better?” he asked.

  “I do,” I said honestly.

  The hot New England sun, the slight breeze, the sounds of the inhabitants of the other camps on the lake puttering around…it was all so much better than being on the road. And somehow, I still had Levi by my side.

  “I was thinking we could stay here until I need to leave for Dublin in a couple days,” Levi said. “Then you can head back to Seattle, or even hang out here for a bit longer if you want. My parents won’t mind, they’re always going on about how nobody uses the camp.”

  “Do they live nearby?” I asked.

  “Yep, about fifteen minutes away. We can swing by for dinner if you want, but they don’t even know we’re here. They won’t miss us if you’re not feeling up for it. I was kinda hoping this could be a little safe-haven vacation for us.”

  “Like a reprieve before the shit hits the fan again?” I asked.

  Levi made a contemplative noise.

  “What if the shit didn’t hit the fan again?”

  “I don’t understand,” I said. “You have to leave again. And I can’t go with you. I’m going to actually lose my mind if I try to keep touring with you.”

  “No, I get that,” said Levi. “You shouldn’t come with me on this leg of the tour. It’ll hurt you, and I don’t want that.”

  “But you’re going to be gone for over a month. I don’t want to be away from you either,” I said, embarrassed to hear how pouty my voice sounded.

  “It’s not going to be easy,” Levi admitted. “But people do long distance all the time. And you are going to be with your roommates the whole time I’m gone. I’m sure they’ll be dying to catch up with you.”

  “And I’ll be dying to see you,” I pointed out.

  “Right,” said Levi. “Here’s how I see it. You need to rest and recover somewhere safe. I need to take this career opportunity. But we live in the twenty-first goddamn century, Porter. We can Skype and call and text all the time.”

  “You’ll be so busy though,” I said. “What if we can’t sustain this?”

  “Porter,” he said, reaching out to slide his damp hand along my arm before linking his fingers with mine. “I’m telling you right now. I’m going to make this work. And if you want to make it work too, then we’re all good. It’s really not as long as you think. And when I get back, we’ll move in together.”

  “Isn’t this just going to keep happening though?” I asked. “You have three summer tours coming up in the next few years, plus all the time you’ll be recording in LA. I’m scared that—”

  “I’m not scared at all,” Levi said. “You’re it for me, Porter. I want to be with you, and I am willing to live an unorthodox lifestyle to make it work. We can hash out the details as they come, but I really believe that this isn’t going to be nearly as hard as you think it will be. We are strong sepa
rately, and even stronger together. So…so will you put some trust in me? Really believe that we can make this work together?”

  God, I was afraid. It was so overwhelming, and I had never attempted anything like this before.

  But then I looked at Levi, his earnest eyes and his beautiful smile and his steady presence. And I knew, without the shadow of a doubt, that he was capable of anything. He could make this work, even if I wasn’t sure how to do it. He would guide me through the hard part, celebrate with me when things went well, keep me sane when my mind threatened to betray me…

  “I trust you. I believe you.” I ran a hand through his hair. “I will make this work with you.”

  He launched himself at me then, straddling my hips and pinning me to the dock. God, I loved him so much in that moment. More than ever before, more than I ever could have imagined. He was my radiant, beautiful Levi.

  I kissed him, open-mouthed and absolutely filthy. It was all tongues and a bit of teeth, and the kind of deep connection that cannot really be described with words. He was everything, and I was everything, and together we were transcending physics, coming together as one seamless mess of love.

  He licked into my mouth, grinding his hips against me as his cock began to harden. Mine responded immediately—I was gone over him, god—and I thrust upward. There was nothing but a couple of sopping-wet pairs of boxers between us, and the heat of his cock against mine sent my mind spiraling away with lust.

  “Levi,” I whimpered, running my hands up his back and scraping my nails back down.

  He keened against me, throwing his head back and crying out.

  “Do that again,” he panted before latching his mouth onto my neck, sucking a massive hickey into my skin.

  I trailed my nails down his back once more, moaning as he bit at my collarbone.

  “Please, Levi, I need—”

  “What do you need, baby?” he groaned.

  “Need you,” I gasped.

  “Okay, baby, okay…”

  He pulled away from me, sitting back on his heels, and I let out the neediest little sound at the loss of him.

  “What are you—”

  “Come inside with me,” he said, his eyes flashing.

  God, he was so wild. Beautiful and untamed and mine.

  He stood up and held out a hand to help hoist me up. I plastered myself against him as soon as we were both standing, kissing behind his ear and reaching around to stroke his hard cock. It felt glorious in my hand, hot and pulsing and slightly curved. Fuck.

  “Inside,” he muttered again, taking an abortive step forward.

  “Need you now,” I panted into his neck.

  That propelled him into action. He grabbed my hand, pulling it away from his cock, and used it to steer me back across the yard and into the house. The nearest bedroom was to the left of us, and we crashed through the door. He shoved me onto the bed and stripped off his boxers, tossing them aside.

  “Can I fuck you?” he asked, his gaze roaming across my body.

  My cock was tenting my boxers obscenely, and the skin of my torso was already a mess of his marks. Desire pulsed through me so fiercely that I had to close my eyes, riding the high of my arousal.

  He wants to fuck me?

  “I haven’t ever…” I began, and his smile turned wolfish.

  “You mean I would be your first?” he asked.

  Why is he so far away? I need him.

  “My very first,” I confirmed, my mind reeling.

  Please touch me. I need you on me, in me…

  “You’ll let me?” he asked.

  “Anything, you can do anything, just get over here,” I snapped.

  Why is he teasing me?

  He took his time strolling across the room, clearly enjoying watching me unravel before his eyes.

  “Have you been tested, Porter?”

  My mind scrabbled for purchase.

  Tested? Tested…

  “I’m clean,” I gasped, reaching down to palm my own cock.

  “What a coincidence,” he said with a grin, taking a step closer. “So am I.”

  “That’s…fuck Levi, please don’t make me wait,” I begged.

  “Can I take you bare?”

  I stroked myself roughly, trying to hold onto my sanity.

  “Anything you want, just put your hands on me, I need it, Levi…oh fuck…”

  He was on the bed all at once, pulling off my boxers and flipping me over onto my stomach.

  “What if I just kiss you here?” he asked, placing a chaste kiss against my hip.

  “I need more—”

  “Or here?” he suggested, planting another kiss on the small of my back.

  “Lower, I need it lower,” I whimpered.

  “Maybe down here?”

  He kissed the back of my thigh.

  “Don’t make me wait, I can’t bear it—”

  “Where do you want it?” he asked. “I need to hear you say it.”

  “I need you inside me,” I gasped. “Your fingers, your tongue, anything—”

  “Right here,” he whispered, pulling my cheeks apart and nuzzling against my hole. “I’m right here.”

  He licked from the back of my balls to my tailbone, his tongue firm against me. I let out a keening moan, pressing back against him, desperate for more. He relented, flicking the tip of his tongue against my hole again and again, and I felt something in my chest release.

  This is exactly where I want to be, I realized. Levi is my home.

  He was holding me open, giving himself plenty of access, but somehow it still wasn’t quite enough. I reached back to spread myself further, and he let out a delighted little laugh.

  “Keep your hands right there,” he said, pulling his own hands away. I stayed there, obediently exposing myself, cherishing every flick of his tongue. Then he pulled away altogether, leaving me desperate and twitching.

  “Where’d you go?” I mumbled into the pillow.

  “I’m right here, baby, just give me a second.”

  There was the telltale snick of a bottle of lube being opened, and then he was back, kissing against my hole, letting his tongue dip into me ever so slightly. I bucked back, seeking out his heat, his kiss, his love. My world narrowed down to Levi and the pleasure he was bestowing upon me. Nothing else existed except for us. All I wanted was for him to keep going, to get as far inside me as humanly possible.

  “Please,” I whimpered.

  “I’ve got you,” he said, his lips brushing against my hole as he spoke.

  Then his mouth was replaced by a couple of slick fingers, rubbing against me. I moaned, pushing back against them, silently willing him to breach me.

  “I’m ready, Levi,” I gasped, “just give me one finger. Just one—”

  “Just one?” he asked, and I knew without looking at he had one eyebrow raised. “If you insist…”

  The first finger slipped inside me so gently that I almost didn’t notice it. Taking Levi within me was the most natural thing in the world, easy as breathing. I had expected it to take more effort on my part—forcing myself to relax, maybe, or taking several deep breaths. But there he was, his finger sliding in and out so tenderly. Oddly enough, it tamped down on my arousal, reducing it to a simmer. Maybe it was the fact that he was finally giving me what I had so badly needed, but the desire to beg dissipated.

  I can trust him to take care of me, I thought dazedly.

  And take care of me, he did.

  Levi pumped his hand in and out, picking up speed as I adjusted to the thin digit inside of me. When I began to move in a steady rhythm with him, he crooked his finger expertly and stars burst behind my eyes. I shuddered, letting out a lewd moan, and started thrusting back against him frantically.

  He let out a little delighted laugh and crooked his finger again, lighting me up. I felt like I was ascending to a new plane of existence, beckoned by his single finger. Then he leaned down to lick around my hole, circling his own finger with his tongue, and I let out
a shuddery gasp.

  “Can I have another?” I asked, the words slurring together.

  “I thought you said just one,” he teased, but then there was a second finger sliding in beside the first.

  If I had thought the first finger felt good, it was nothing to how the second felt. The idea of fullness had always seemed a bit intimidating to me, but the girth of his two fingers together changed my view on that entirely.

  The stretch—so foreign, so unexpected—sent my mind reeling. It reminded me that the human body was not built to be filled in that way, and yet we were making it work simply because we loved each other so much that we wanted to be joined. The intimacy of that stretch, the sacrifice of offering up the most vulnerable parts of my body to my lover…it was too much for my tortured mind.

  I was grinding back against his fingers, the quilt providing friction against my neglected cock, and all at once I was coming, taking both of us by surprise.

  “Porter,” said Levi, his voice reverent. “My sweet Porter.”

  I was sobbing, dry, silent sobs wracking my body as the orgasm tore through me. There was a torrent of cum smearing across the hand-stitched quilt, and my hole was squeezing tight around Levi’s fingers, unwilling to let him go until he had wrung the last vestiges of pleasure from my body.

  When I finally came back to myself—my panting, spent self—I found that Levi was pulling his fingers from me so very gently. Then he was licking at me once more, dipping his tongue into me, igniting a series of shaky aftershocks.

  “I’m—” I began, planning to apologize.

  But then Levi was saying, “That was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

  And an apology seemed a ridiculous response to that particular sentiment. So, I just lay there, panting.

  “Do you still want me to fuck you?” he asked, his voice low.

  “More than anything,” I whispered. “Do we have to wait?”

  “That’s up to you,” he told me. “Since it’s your first time, I want to get three fingers in you before you take my cock. If you’re too sensitive now, we can wait a while.”

  I shook my head firmly. “Want more now.”