Dangerous Rock: A Rock Star Romance (Dangerous Noise Book 3)

by Crystal Kaswell

  "It's fine."

  "It doesn't bother you."

  A little, but— "I want to hear it."

  "I guess I thought it should be all about him, about what he wanted. He wasn't selfish, but he didn't… well he didn't ever ask if I wanted to come on his face or his hands first in this way that made it clear that he needed me coming." She blushes as she stares into my eyes. "Joel, you're the only person I've ever known who makes me feel like what I want matters to you."

  "It does."

  "I know." She bites her lip. "And not just with sex, though I do appreciate it during sex. When I'm with you, I feel strong. Like I can stand up for myself. Like I might actually be able to figure out my life."

  I offer her my hand.

  She takes it. Her eyes go to her engagement ring. "I want to hear about your parents."

  As much as I hate the subject, this is important.

  Nobody really knows about my life.

  Nobody except Kit and Daphne, and they only know because they were there for so much of it.

  I bring my gaze to Bella's pretty brown eyes. "I should have realized a long time ago. They're different than each other in this way that… I thought it was good, but Mom wasn't happy."

  "How's your dad different?"

  "He's all logic. No intuition, no feelings, no emotion. It's easy to convince him of something, even if it doesn't quite add up."

  "Like taking the letter of the law and ignoring its intent?"

  "Exactly." Some of that tension in my chest softens. "I guess I could have been a lawyer."

  "You could." She reaches over to run her fingers through my hair. "It's embarrassing how little I know about you, considering" She motions to my ring finger. "What were you studying in college?"

  "I dropped out before I could decide. Mom was pissed about that for a while. No, not pissed. She was disappointed."

  "That's worse."

  A lot worse. I nod. "She thought I was running away because it was too hard."

  "Were you?"

  I say nothing.

  "You were." Bella's voice gets bright. "I can't believe Joel Young has ever backed down from a challenge."

  "It was one of the only times."

  She shoots me an I'm not sure about that look.

  I hold up my four fingers. "Scout's honor."

  "Were you a scout?"

  "I know how to tie a knot."

  She laughs. "You're a flirt."

  "You like it."

  She nods. "But you don't fool me. I know you're evading because you don't want to talk about this."

  She's right.

  I want to share this with her, but the words are heavy. They lead to an ugly place. Everything about my parents leads to an ugly place.

  They've been unhappy for a long time.

  I've been lying to myself for a long time.

  I call everyone else on their bullshit. I refuse to tolerate it. But I've been blind to my own shit for so long.

  The hipster guy saves me from having to broach the subject. He winks as he drops off our sandwiches and takes our numbers. "Can I get you anything else?"

  Bella shakes her head. "No, thank you." She takes a dainty bite of half her sandwich.

  A laugh breaks up the tension in my jaw. "You're always so prim and proper."

  "How's this." She lifts her pinky like she's having a formal tea. "Better?"

  "Yeah."

  She takes a bite, chews slowly, swallows. "You shouldn't watch me eat. I'll get self-conscious."

  "What if you watch me eat in exchange?"

  Her cheeks flush. "Oh. Well. I'm planning on making you watch first."

  Fuck.

  "Like Mal said." She smiles. "As long as you're game."

  I barely manage to nod. I barely manage to think. Period.

  She's going to tie me up and make me watch her touch herself.

  I'm not exactly into bondage. I don't object to tying a woman up if that's her thing.

  But I never let anyone tie me up.

  I've never trusted anyone enough.

  But then I'd never gone bareback before either.

  I take a bite of my sandwich to buy my thoughts time to form. The tomatoes are firm. The avocado is ripe. The bacon is crisp. But this does nothing to satisfy me.

  Food isn't what I want right now, no matter how much my stomach is growling.

  I eat half the thing anyway.

  "You're tongue tied." She laughs. "I like it."

  I nod.

  "We were talking about your parents."

  "Who?"

  Her laugh is louder this time. "About your dad and mom being different."

  All right. She wants to have this talk. I need to divert my thoughts to something besides Bella stroking herself to orgasm if I want to get out of this restaurant without getting the two of us arrested.

  I look her in the eyes. "Just after my mom went back to work, she tried to get me to sign up for soccer. I said no. I hate running. Still do."

  She raises a brow. "Then how are you so…" Her eyes go to my shoulders, my chest, my hips. Then she's running her fingers over my skin. "You're very fit."

  "It's mostly weights and the machines at hotel gyms. I have to keep up with shit if I want to keep my stamina up."

  "For drumming."

  I stare at her the way she's staring at me. Damn, that dress is tight on her tits. And it's cut low enough to show off the lace strap of her bra. "Amongst other things."

  She blushes. "Now, you're distracting me."

  I nod. "You really like that I'm built?"

  "I'm sure you get that a lot."

  "I'm sure a lot of guys like your tits. Doesn't mean you don't appreciate how much I love them."

  That gets her blush spreading to her chest. Her nipples harden enough to make an impression in her dress.

  Again, she presses her knees together.

  She forces herself to look me in the eyes. "You're deflecting with sex again."

  Shit, she's right. I nod.

  "You don't want to talk about this?"

  I nod.

  Her eyes fill with affection. "Tell me anyway."

  "I gave my dad a bunch of bullshit reasons why I shouldn't have to do soccer. They were technically true—soccer would mean less time for homework, and games would go late on school nights, and I did know kids who sprained their ankles doing it the year before—but they weren't things I cared about."

  "Your dad bought it?"

  "I don't think so, but he didn't care. He saw a logical reason, he agreed. He told me I didn't have to do it. Even when I told him Mom insisted."

  "Oh."

  "She was furious. It was the first time I really saw them fight. It was the first time I realized shit wasn't perfect. He went right to what he knew would hurt her the most, saying she was a bad mother for going back to work. It was only part-time, while we were at school. And it wasn't like he could talk. He worked nonstop. Still does."

  Bella rubs the space between my thumb and forefinger with her thumb. Her eyes are fixed on mine. She's really listening.

  She really fucking cares.

  I have to say this. Even if I don't want to. "I didn't hear much. They went to his office and locked the door. Then she came out, crying. And I made a joke and we laughed it off. And I convinced myself that it was fixed. Every time they fought, I cheered her up, and I convinced both of us that everything was perfect except for little hiccups."

  "Until you couldn't?"

  "Yeah. Every time Mom was upset… until she told me about the divorce. I couldn't make a joke. I couldn't laugh that off."

  Bella rests her head on my shoulder. "She seemed happy."

  "She did. But I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that I've been bullshitting myself for the last ten years."

  "When you're usually the one calling people on bullshit?"

  "Guess I'm a hypocrite."

  "We all are." She intertwines her fingers with mine. "Do you still hate your dad?"


  "Not his biggest fan at the moment. The shit he said when he told me about the divorce… he might as well have told me having kids was his biggest regret."

  Her voice gets soft. "That must hurt."

  "Yeah."

  "Did you pretend to laugh it off?"

  I chuckle. "How the fuck did you know?"

  "It's easier to pretend like it doesn't hurt." She moves close enough that her body warms mine.

  I slide my hand into her hair and pull her into a deep kiss. Then my hands are on her neck. I can't talk about this anymore. I don't even want to think about it.

  Too much is changing.

  I need to be someplace where things make sense.

  And between Bella's legs—

  That makes all the fucking sense in the world.

  I bring my mouth to her ear. "I want to make you come."

  "You're deflecting again."

  "I know." I look her in the eyes. "I still want to make you come."

  She smiles evilly. "I still want to make you wait."

  It's easy talking to Bella, even about this ugly shit. We walk around the neighborhood talking about everything and nothing for ever.

  Besides her torturing me by deep throating her ice cream cone, I manage to keep my thoughts clean.

  Cleanish.

  They don't get dirty until we're back in my apartment. Bella is on her hands and knees, arranging her clothes in my closet.

  Her skirt slides up and down her thigh. The damn thing keeps teasing me.

  She gave me what I needed.

  Now, it's my turn to give her what she needs.

  She pushes herself to her feet before I can order her to hike her dress to her waist.

  She turns to face me.

  She's holding something in her hands.

  A set of restraints.

  She doesn't even blush. "Sit on the bed. I'm going to tie you up."

  29

  Bella

  My hands are shaking so badly I can barely pull Joel's shirt over his head. My palms are so sweaty they slide right down his chest and stomach.

  I fumble over his jeans. There's no reason why I should be fumbling. This is an ordinary button. An ordinary zipper.

  He lifts his hips so I can pull the garment to his knees.

  Now, Joel is wearing nothing but boxers.

  His green eyes fill with desire as he offers me his hands. His expression is a dare. Can you really tie me up? Can you really resist my hands on your skin? Wouldn't you rather come from my touch?

  I fumble with the rope handcuffs. They're simple and straightforward, no doubt designed with nervous fingers in mind.

  Even so, I struggle.

  Joel's pupils dilate as I cuff his wrist.

  He keeps his voice bright. He's playing coy.

  "You all right, angel?" he teases.

  I swallow hard. Maybe. But that doesn't matter. "I want to do this."

  I cuff his other wrist and tug at the restraint.

  They have enough give they won't cut off his circulation, but they're on tight.

  He's not getting out of them, unless it's what I want.

  "Your shoulders okay?" I ask.

  He nods.

  My cheeks flush as I straddle him. "I've never done this before."

  He tries to pull his hands apart. Nothing. His eyes go wide with a mix of desire and desperation.

  What do I do here? I'm not exactly a master seductress.

  But I know I want to drive Joel mad with desire.

  That's all I need to know.

  I hold his gaze as I grind my hips against his. Mmm, the friction of him against me…

  I drag my hands over his shoulders and down his torso as I grind against him.

  Joel lets out a low groan. "Take off your dress."

  The tone of his voice commands me. God, the desire in his eyes…

  I pull my dress up my thigh a little bit at a time. He watches with rapt attention.

  His breath gets heavy.

  His cock gets hard.

  He's hard between my legs. Only his boxers and my panties are in the way. If I'm not careful, I'm going to strip him naked and mount him.

  This first.

  I need him desperate. I need him begging me.

  His green eyes fix on mine. They scream now.

  I take my time pulling my dress over my pelvis. Then up my stomach, over my breasts, off my head.

  I drop it on the floor.

  Joel rocks forward. His lips crash into my chest. Then he's dragging them over my skin. He doesn't have much control with his hands bound behind him, but he still manages to take my nipple into his mouth.

  The pressure of his soft, wet mouth sends waves of pleasure to my core. I grind my hips against his, shifting so his cock is rubbing against my clit, pressing the fabric of my panties into my flesh.

  Those boxers are still in the way.

  God, I feel achy.

  Empty.

  I need him filling me. I want him claiming all of me. My sex. My mouth. My ass.

  I dig my nails into his back. "Joel." My voice breaks into a whine. That's not right. He's the one who's supposed to be begging me.

  He's the one who's supposed to be desperate.

  I dig my hands into his hair and bring his mouth to my other nipple. He flicks his tongue against me again and again. Then he's swirling his tongue around the bud.

  Sucking soft.

  Sucking hard.

  He scrapes his teeth against me. Harder. Harder. Hard enough I cry out.

  I tug at his hair.

  I rock my hips against him.

  He feels so good like this, his mouth on my chest, his cock against my sex.

  But I have to torture him.

  I plant my hands on his shoulders and push myself up, off the bed. This is a cozy bedroom. The only other place to sit is the dresser. But it's just low enough that it will work.

  I take three steps backwards. Then I push everything off the top of the dresser.

  "Angel…" Joel's eyes fill with need as he looks up at me. "Sit."

  I do.

  "Take off your panties."

  I push them to my knees then they fall off my ankles.

  "Spread your legs."

  I do.

  "Wider."

  I plant one foot on the dresser. Then the other. It's a difficult position. I have to lean my back against the wall to get the angle right.

  But I know I've got it from the way all the breath leaves his body at once.

  My eyes fix on his as I slide my hand down my torso, past my belly button, below my pelvis.

  Waves of pleasure flow through me as I rub my clit with my middle finger. I'm already wound up, already needy, already close.

  My need to come threatens to derail this.

  I bring my gaze back to Joel. He's staring at me like I'm the best thing he's every seen.

  His eyes are wide.

  His teeth are sinking into his bottom lip.

  He lets out a low groan. "Fuck yourself."

  My sex clenches. "I don't usually—"

  "Put your first two fingers together."

  I press my index and middle fingers together.

  "Wet them."

  I slide my fingers into my mouth and suck on them. My fingertips are soft against my tongue. And my tongue is soft against my fingertips. Pleasure spreads through my torso. My head fills with thoughts of Joel's firm flesh in my mouth.

  Of him groaning as he tugs at my hair.

  I pull my fingers from my mouth then I drag them down my neck. Over my chest. I play with one nipple. Then the other. Then I have my fingers in my mouth again, my eyes fixed on Joel's.

  His expression is pure desire.

  He needs me.

  Right now, he needs me more than he's ever needed anything.

  This time, I bring my hand right to my clit. I stroke myself until my eyelids press together. Fuck. I'm close.

  I force myself to open my eyes.

  Joel meets my
gaze. He nods now then his gaze shifts. He's watching intently.

  I spread my legs a little wider as I tease myself with one finger. Then two. I've had guys touch me this way. I've had Joel touch me this way. But I've never penetrated myself.

  My muscles threaten to clench up.

  "Take a deep breath." Somehow, Joel's voice is steady, reassuring. He still has desire written all over his face, but he's looking out for me first.

  I take a deep breath.

  "Sit back so your legs can go slack."

  I do. It doesn't give him as good a view, but it's a more comfortable position. My inner thighs are no longer straining.

  I exhale slowly.

  Then I bring my fingers back to my mouth. They taste like me. It spurs me on. It pushes the anxiety away.

  Joel's voice drops back to that low, demanding tone. "Tease yourself, angel."

  I do. First with one finger. Then two.

  My eyes stay glued to his as I slip a finger inside my sex. It's different.

  But not bad.

  Not at all bad.

  Slowly, I push my finger deeper. Deeper. It hurts, but in that good way.

  In a really good way.

  Pleasure fills my pelvis as I slip another finger in my sex.

  I'm slow about stretching myself. Once I'm warmed up, I go a little faster, a little deeper, a little harder.

  My hips shift to match the movements of my hand.

  Joel's eyes stay glued to me. His jaw is slack. His cock is straining against his cotton boxers.

  Right now, I'm the center of his universe.

  Feminine power fills me.

  Putting on a show is thrilling.

  I watch him watch me. My movements get faster. Harder.

  Then I'm going hard enough it hurts.

  Harder than I ever thought I'd fuck myself.

  His eyes meet mine. "I want to see you come."

  "Soon." I steady my speed. It feels good. Too good. I'm close.

  My eyelids flutter together.

  My thumb finds my clit.

  My body takes over. I rub myself as I fuck myself. I rock my hips so hard and fast I bang my head against the wall. It hurts, but I don't care.

  I don't care about anything but falling off the edge.

  Tension knots in my core.

  Almost.

  Almost.

  There.

  "Joel. Fuck." I scream his name again and again as I come. Pleasure spreads out to my fingers and toes.