School of Fear

by Gitty Daneshvari

  “Hello? Hello? Schmidty?”

  A small voice managed to be heard in all the bedlam.

  “I’m in the dining room.” Schmidty’s voice was weaker than usual, certainly not a good sign.

  They ran past familiar doors from the clock to the brass doorknob before stopping in front of the chalkboard door that led to the dining room. As the sheriff went to open the door, Garrison pushed in front of him, entering the room first. Lulu, Madeleine, Theo, and finally the sheriff quickly followed.

  Seated at the elaborately set table were Mrs. Wellington, Schmidty, and Munchauser. As the foursome stood in absolute shock, the sheriff laughed and took a seat at the table.

  Theo was first to approach Mrs. Wellington, reaching his small hand to her makeup-clad face.

  “Are you really alive?” Theo asked sincerely.

  “Yes, Theo, I am,” Mrs. Wellington replied sweetly.

  Theo flung his arms around her neck before planting a kiss on her cheek. “I have so many things I want to ask you, but first, do you have any idea what you put us through, woman?”

  “Not only are you not dead, but you are eating with the enemy!” Lulu screamed while pointing to Munchauser.

  “Someone better start talking,” Garrison said, attempting to remain calm.

  “Congratulations, you’ve completed School of Fear,” Mrs. Wellington said in her usual formal tone. “And with flying colors, I might add. We are all extremely proud.”

  “I’m terribly confused and very upset,” Madeleine said. “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by my emotions.”

  “So it was all fake?” Theo lamented angrily. “This whole thing was one big elaborate setup?”

  “Well, not exactly. Munchauser’s arrival was not planned. But with Abernathy in the forest, I decided it best to improvise so he could accompany you into town. This was Munchauser’s first time taking part in an adventure; we usually try to keep him away from the students for obvious reasons. He doesn’t have the best bedside manner, and as you may have noticed, he has a fondness for gambling.”

  “I didn’t think any of you would make it. I bet Schmidty one dollar and lost,” Munchauser grumbled rudely. “Anyone got a dollar I could borrow?”

  “I almost died in that tunnel, Mrs. Wellington,” Lulu said angrily, “do you realize that?”

  “Not to worry, Lulu. We watched the whole thing, each step of the adventure, on closed circuit televisions. Every inch of the tunnels and road, even the Knapps’ house, is monitored by cameras.”

  “Garrison would have died in that pool if not for my heroic save,” Theo said proudly to Mrs. Wellington.

  “The Knapps are certified lifeguards, my swimming sausage. He was never in any actual peril.”

  “But what if we had gone into the forest?” Madeleine asked. “We could have really been hurt.”

  “Oh my former little beekeeper, if any of you had actually started to enter the forest, I would have used the speaker system to stop you.”

  “And Abernathy?” Lulu asked suspiciously. “He was also in on this?”

  “I’m afraid,” Mrs. Wellington said with shame, “that part of the story is true. He is my one failure and such a painful one at that.”

  As Mrs. Wellington squirmed at the mention of Abernathy, Theo approached with a serious expression.

  “Does this mean we can finally go home? Or do we still have to stay here for the rest of the summer?”

  “Your families are expecting you home tomorrow. You will return braver and infinitely stronger. They will be so proud that you overcame your fears.”

  “Not to disappoint you, but I’m still kind of afraid of death. Just a little,” Theo whispered, “only a smidge.”

  “And I’m still not terribly keen on spiders,” Madeleine added.

  “It’s a process, contestants; a process of constantly challenging yourselves. Now that you’ve taken your first steps here, you will continue to make progress each summer, and soon you won’t even remember a time when you had such phobias.”

  “Excuse me, Mrs. Wellington, but did you just say ‘each summer’?” Madeleine asked.

  “Of course, I did, Madeleine. I’m sure you all read the fine print on the brochure about the program.”

  The stunned foursome was far too exhausted to respond to the information they had just learned, and after such an emotional day they could barely think of going through such a harrowing experience again.

  “Everyone please take a seat, the food is getting cold,” Schmidty instructed the group.

  “Fiona, Errol, Annabelle, Ratty,” Mrs. Wellington called to the cats, “the contestants need to wash their hands.”

  The four cats trotted into the room, in black-gray-black-gray formation. One by one, they each jumped onto the table, and dropped a steaming hot napkin on each child’s place setting.

  “So they really are trained?” Theo said incredulously.

  “Well of course they’re trained,” Mrs. Wellington said smugly. “Don’t tell me after all this, you still underestimate me.”

  The foursome stared intently at Mrs. Wellington, assessing the many facets of the peculiar woman.

  “You really are diabolically smart,” Lulu said with overt admiration.

  “Thank you,” Mrs. Wellington said with a knowing nod.

  “And your determination, it’s absolutely impenetrable,” Madeleine added with blossoming awe.

  “It feels sort of weird to say this, but you totally know what you’re doing,” Garrison said with surprise.

  “Thank you, Sporty.” Mrs. Wellington then turned expectantly to Theo.

  “I think you should seriously reconsider letting Schmidty do your makeup.”

  “Theo!” Madeleine, Lulu, and Garrison screamed as Mrs. Wellington’s lips turned fire-engine red before breaking into a wry smile.

  “Perhaps you’re right, my portly friend.”