Unintentional Virgin

by A. J. Bennett

  Eva rolled her eyes and gestured impatiently, telling her to continue.

  “I pulled down his boxers, and just as he was about to roll on the condom the door burst open, and his parents walked through the door. Talk about mortified. They just stood there and stared at us for like a minute, and then the mother started yelling, calling me a harlot and to get the hell out of their house. Needless to say, I walked out with my shirt inside out and embarrassed beyond belief. Kevin broke up with me the next day.”

  Eva chuckled. “What a jerk! And who the hell says harlot these days?”

  “I forgot to mention that his father was our pastor.”

  Covering her mouth, Eva cackled. “You’re kidding. Please tell me you’re joking.”

  “Nope,” Karma said with a giggle. She couldn’t help it. In hindsight it was pretty funny.

  “Then there was Dylan Green when I was seventeen. It turns out he wasn’t into girls and was just using me so no one would know. My father kept trying to warn me, but I thought he was out of his mind.”

  Karma paused. Eric Anders—thinking about him still pissed her off. “I was completely crazy about this jerk, Eric,” Karma said with a faraway look in her eyes. “We were supposed to go to senior prom together. I was certain I was going to lose my virginity that night. I even bought a matching bra and panties, the whole nine yards. Well, he was a real ass; he never even showed up. Later, I found out he took Becky King, one of the cheerleaders, instead. The jackass didn’t even have the decency to call me. My father was so pissed, as you can imagine. He’d spent weeks shopping for the perfect gown.”

  “Well, that blows.” Eva placed her soda can down on a coaster.

  “There were others, but you get the gist. Pathetic.”

  “We need to fix this,” said Eva, her voice thoughtful.

  “Tell me something I don’t know.” Karma took a swig from the can.

  Eva sat up. “Go shower and shave your legs, woman. Tonight you are cashing in your V card,” she said firmly.

  Karma gave her a look. “Yeah, right, Eva. Come on, stop playing around. I think I’m meant to be a nun, but I’m not even Catholic, so I guess not.” She paused. “I guess I could convert? Or is it too late for that?”

  “Karma, I’m serious. We’re going into the city tonight. Wear something hot.”

  Kicking her feet off the coffee table, she set down her drink and rose to her feet. “Fine, but I’m telling you it’s not going to work.”

  “Oh, it will work. Now hurry up. I’m going to run home and change. Remember, club clothes.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Karma said good-bye then made her way up the stairs to shower. She shaved and lightly sprayed on a woodsy perfume. The bottle claimed it was a sensual blend. She sighed. Would she really lose her virginity tonight? It was too much to hope for, so she wouldn’t even give it another thought.

  After twenty minutes of looking through her closet Karma called her dad. “Hey, Dad, Eva’s taking me to a club tonight to lose my virginity.” Karma pulled the phone back from her ear. “What the hell? Are you choking or something?”

  When the coughing fit finally ended, her father cleared his throat. “Karma, we’ve gone over this a thousand times. It will happen when the time is right. Forcing it by going to a club and picking up a random stranger is not the way you want to remember your first time. Trust me on this.”

  “I’m sick of being a damn virgin, Dad. I really don’t think it will work, but I’m going to try. So tell me what I should wear. You’re not talking me out of this one. I’m almost twenty, for crying out loud.”

  She was met with silence.

  “Please, Dad, I really need your advice.”

  Her father sighed on the other end. “Wear that short black skirt we got you the other day, one of your off-the-shoulder black tops, and the highest heels you can walk in. Oh, and make sure to wear your hair down. And don’t forget condoms; please do not forget the condoms!”

  “I won’t and thank you.”

  “I wish you’d think this over, sweetie. There is a guy out there for you. I promise.”

  “It’s just sex.”

  “It’s never just sex,” he said.

  “Bye, Dad.” She clicked off the phone and tossed it on the bed. Her father’s words echoed in her head, but as usual she chose to ignore them. Seriously, what were the chances this crazy plan would work anyway?

  Karma pulled the skirt over her full hips and grabbed her strapless bra. She wasn’t very big in the chest department so the push-up bra helped give the illusion of being busty. Hopefully, the guy wouldn’t be disappointed that half her chest was padding.

  Chapter Three

  Where are you? Karma sent a text to Eva. It was almost two hours since she’d left her house and she only lived like ten minutes away.

  About five minutes out. Hold your horses, woman! Do you want me to be on one of those “don’t text and drive” commercials?

  Karma threw the phone into her little black purse, thinking it was good that Eva was absurdly fast at texting. Karma dropped her purse on the table and turned to stare at herself in the entryway mirror. She looked good—for her. Her gray eyes were outlined in smoky eyeliner, making them stand out even more against her pale skin. Her eyes were her one unusual feature—other than her name, of course. She’d applied just a smidgen of blush and clear gloss on her lips. Her father always told her to go natural with the lips, because they were full and didn’t need any more attention drawn to them. She had tried to use the trick her father showed her with foundation to make her nose look smaller, but she didn’t think it worked. Whatever, didn’t they say to embrace your flaws? Hard to go by that philosophy when your mother was a model and your father a plastic surgeon. Her shrink always said fake it till you make it. Like most things in life, easier said than done.

  Taking a couple of steps backwards, she ran her hands over the skirt. Her hips swelled out too much, but she liked food so that wasn’t going to change. Her mother’s words echoed in her mind: If you didn’t eat like a pig you wouldn’t look like one. Karma cringed and tried to think of something positive to offset the negative in her mind. At least her stomach was fairly flat—when she sucked it in.

  Could she really go through with this? Was her father right? Should she just wait and let it happen naturally? Perhaps there really wasn’t anyone out there for her. Or maybe she had already met him and missed the signs? That would be just her luck.

  Screw it. She would let fate decide. Tonight she would pick a random stranger, and if it wasn’t meant to be, well then there wasn’t a hell of a lot she could do about it. For her sake she at least had to try.

  A horn blared from outside. Karma took one last look at herself in the mirror and grabbed her purse off the table. Her heels echoed loudly on the marble floor in the foyer. Surprisingly, she wasn’t very nervous. Maybe a large part of her knew there wasn’t a chance in hell it would actually happen.

  As soon as she pulled the door open Princess brushed past her legs and raced outside. Karma cursed under her breath. “Damn that dog.” Karma yelled her name and the dog stopped, looked up at her with its beady eyes, and ran off again.

  Eva’s black Prius sat waiting in the circular driveway. Karma set her purse on the roof of the car and chased after the dog, which was not an easy task in high heels. Eventually, she got her by the collar and pulled her back into the house. Not a good start to the evening, Karma thought, breathless.

  Making her way to the car, Karma brushed the dog hair off the front of her skirt before pulling open the door and sliding in.

  “At least you got her quickly this time,” Eva said with a laugh.

  Karma didn’t bother to reply; she just laid her head back on the headrest.

  “You left your purse on the top of the car.”

  “Of course I did.” With a groan, she opened the door and grabbed her purse.

  “Nice outfit,” Eva said approvingly. “Let me guess, you asked your dad what to wear?”
<
br />   “Of course,” Karma said as she turned to take in Eva’s look for the night. She scrunched up her nose. “What in the world are you wearing?”

  “A dress.” Eva put the car in drive and took off down the road.

  “Obviously, but why in the world are you wearing a polka-dot dress with a collar to a club? It looks like something from the fifties.”

  “Hey, I’m not the one that has trouble getting laid. I can pick up a man perfectly fine no matter what I’m wearing.”

  “Great, rub it in.” Karma threw her head back against the headrest again.

  The drive into the city took well over an hour, so they chatted about school and listened to music. Karma let her mind wander. She hoped they really would find the perfect guy for her. She could picture him clearly in her mind: tall, blond, smart, with the chiseled face of a Greek god.

  Eva leaned forward and turned down the radio. “Are you sure you want to go through with this? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

  “Yes, I’m sure. Stop asking, you sound like my father.”

  “Just making sure, it’s kinda a big deal.” Eva flicked her blinker and pulled into one of those paid parking lots. They parked and jumped out of the car.

  “Where are we going?”

  “You’ll see.”

  “I hope we don’t have to walk too far. These shoes are already pinching my toes,” Karma complained as they made their way to the machine to pay.

  “It’s not far.”

  “Good,” Karma mumbled, looking around. All she saw was a bunch of warehouses. No neon lights shouting club in sight. She didn’t really know her way around the D.C. area too well. Her father had an office there, but she had only been there a handful of times.

  “Come on.” Eva linked her long bony arm through Karma’s and pulled her along. “Do you have your fake ID on you?”

  “Of course. Do you have a condom on you? I meant to ask you to stop at the drugstore.”

  Eva laughed and rummaged through her purse. “Here, take three. You never know…”

  Karma grabbed the condoms and tossed them in her purse. “Thanks.”

  “So, what kind of guy do you want for your first?”

  Shrugging, Karma said, “No idea. I guess I’ll know him when I see him.” She didn’t need to make herself sound more pathetic by describing the man of her dreams.

  “What kind of guys do you even like?”

  Karma shrugged again. “I don’t really have a type, per se.”

  “Everyone has a type. Geeks, beefcakes, nice guys, emo, jocks, straight-laced, pretty boys, must I go on?”

  “Yeah, yeah, I just don’t know which type is my type. I guess a good-looking clean-cut guy always works.”

  “Boring,” Eva said, rolling her eyes.

  “Hey, you’re the one that’s pushing me into the corner. I like guys who make me laugh, are protective, and have an IQ in the triple digits.”

  “Good Lord, you don’t ask for much, do you?”

  “Whatever, we’re not here looking for my future husband. We’re looking for a hot guy to take me back to his place and have his way with me.”

  “Now that we can handle, that’s what I like to hear.”

  “We’ll see. I’m not holding my breath.”

  “Think positive. What you put out into the universe comes back in abundance.”

  “Now you sound like my loon of a mother.”

  “It’s true,” Eva said simply with a shrug.

  “Okay, I’ll try to think positive. Tonight the glass is a half-full sort of night.”

  “That’s my girl.” Eva squeezed the hand that was laced through her elbow.

  They turned down a dimly lit narrow side alley and Karma started to get concerned. It didn’t seem like a smart place to be at night, but she kept her thoughts to herself. Muffled footsteps followed behind them and Karma’s heart rate sped up. Of course there would be footsteps. They were probably going the same place they were. It was a club, after all.

  Up ahead she saw a door open, and a couple of people slipped inside. That must be the place. Karma had never been to an underground club before and was getting excited. Even if she didn’t get her cherry popped tonight, this could be pretty fun.

  When they reached the door, Eva tapped on it four times in rapid succession, followed by a pause and two more taps. The door swung open. Cool.

  Karma’s breath caught in her throat and she froze where she stood staring at tall, dark, and delicious. Seriously, it felt like time had stood still. The sort of moment she’d read about in romance novels.

  A tall, muscular bouncer covered in tattoos, with inky black hair that looked a little too shaggy, a strong jawline, and the palest blue eyes Karma had ever seen gave them a once-over. He exuded self-confidence, masculinity, and perhaps a hint of danger.

  “IDs.” His voice was deep and sent a shiver down her spine. She had a feeling he would never be caught in a situation he could not control. She envied him for that.

  With a quick cursory glance at the front and back he handed them back. “Have fun,” he grunted.

  “You too,” Karma said. She forced a smile and grabbed her ID from his huge hand. She was surprised to realize her fingers were trembling.

  “Would it kill him to smile? Why do jerks have to be so freaking hot?” Karma mumbled as she walked away.

  “Heard that,” the bouncer said in a deep, smooth voice.

  Eva nudged her with her elbow, her eyes wide.

  Karma shrugged and turned back, waving while flashing him a smile before they pushed through the large double doors. He really should lighten up.

  They walked through a long, narrow, dimly lit hallway and then through yet another side door. Techno music hit her immediately, throbbing throughout her body making her want to move to the music. Karma wasn’t exactly the best dancer, but she didn’t care. It was fun to lose herself in the music.

  A long line snaked around black velvet ropes to keep the mob of people in order. How had Karma not heard about this place before? Obviously, Eva was way more hip than Karma had given her credit for. And she’d been holding out on her. Not cool.

  They waited in line for at least twenty-five minutes, slowly inching forward. Karma and Eva scanned the crowds, looking for anyone who might possibly catch Karma’s eye. There were a lot of Goth kids. For some reason, she couldn’t see her first sexual encounter being with a guy who wore more eyeliner than she did. Karma turned to talk to Eva, but she was already flirting with a guy in leather pants, chains around his neck, and a lip piercing. That girl moved fast.

  When they finally stepped through the door, it was as if they walked into another world. Black strobe lights circled the room. Dry ice caused smoke to swirl around them. Karma took in the bodies pressed together on the dance floor, and smiled to herself as her eyes adjusted to the lights. So many scents filled Karma’s nose it was almost overwhelming—perfumes, colognes, sweat, alcohol, and smoke. Oh yeah, tonight was going to be fun.

  Eva grabbed her by the hand and pulled her out on to the dance floor.

  Chapter Four

  “I need a drink,” Karma yelled over the music into Eva’s ear. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of her face; she wiped it away. The club was warm with all the bodies pulsing together. So far, no luck finding a potential one-night stand—maybe she really was too picky. Or maybe she should just buy a chastity belt and accept her fate.

  Eva nodded and pulled Karma off the dance floor, and they shoved their way toward the bar. They had to squeeze to get a spot. The bartender was all over the place, so they had to wait a few moments before they got her attention. “Vodka with cranberry please,” Karma yelled.

  The bartender, a tall, slender woman, looked toward Eva with a raised eyebrow.

  “Just a coke for me, I’m driving.”

  Karma rolled her eyes. “You could have one drink. I’m sure we’ll be here for a while.”

  Eva shrugged and turned around leaning against the bar. “I do
n’t like to drink at all when I drive, it’s not worth the risk. What about that guy out there with the short blonde?”

  “Practically every guy out there is with a blonde. You are going to have to be more specific than that.”

  “Straight ahead, you can’t miss him. He’s the tall one with short dark hair, leather pants and vest.”

  “You lost me at leather pants.” Karma picked up the drink the bartender had set down, and Eva handed the woman money.

  “Fine. What about the guy with glasses four down sitting at the bar? Is he straight-laced enough for you?”

  Karma let her eyes wander down the row. He was wearing a white button-down shirt and his eyes were cast down at his drink so she couldn’t get a really good look. But so far he was the only option. “Not bad, he could work. He’s definitely cherry-popping material.”

  “Well, go talk to him. I’m going to find that hottie I was talking to earlier. Text me if you need me.” Eva didn’t wait for her to respond before she blended in with the dance floor. Karma stared in disbelief. A little help would have been nice.

  Great. Karma downed her drink and yelled for another. One more drink and then she would have the courage to talk to him. She peeked over again. The guy was still sitting there staring into his glass. It appeared as if he were alone. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as she thought. It’s not like she was shy or anything. She just wasn’t sure how to approach the subject. Did she just blurt it out or see if he suggested going back to his place? Why hadn’t she talked this over with Eva? The bartender slid her drink across the counter, and Karma grabbed the cool glass, enjoying the sensation. It felt really good in the heat.

  “Thanks,” Karma mumbled and handed the woman money. When she gave her change back Karma dropped it into the tip jar.

  With the second drink, she took her time, rather than chugging it down like the last one. Maybe part of her was hoping the guy would get up and leave. That way, she wouldn’t have to go through with it. But when she finished he was still sitting there. Karma sighed, ran her hands down her skirt, and pushed through the crowd toward the stranger. She could do this. After all wasn’t that what people did at clubs, hook up?