“I said I’m sorry. I wanted your first time to be something you’d remember. But, Jesus, I never felt anything that good in my life.” Jax pushed himself back to sitting.
“Really?” Karma asked in disbelief. “You’re not just saying that?”
“You felt like heaven.”
“Well, it definitely wasn’t heaven for me.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“Let me try again.” Jax stood up. “Did I hurt you?”
“A little bit,” Karma admitted. “But it was over so fast.”
He stood up, hoping the humiliation he felt didn’t show clearly on his face. “You might need to go clean up.” Jax gave her his hand and pulled her out of the bed.
Karma looked down and there was a small pinkish stain. “Oh, okay.” She wrapped the sheet around her chest, and, shoulders slumped, she padded barefoot to the bathroom.
Jax tossed the condom into the trash and sat down on the bed, dropping his head into his hands. What a fucking loser. He couldn’t even control himself enough for her to enjoy her first time. He still couldn’t believe she pushed him out of the bed. Jax couldn’t help but smile and shake his head.
He had to redeem himself.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Karma leaned over the sink and studied herself in the mirror. For some reason, she’d expected to look different. Like losing her virginity would change her somehow. But she still looked the same: mousy brown hair, pale skin, and odd eyes. Her cheeks weren’t even very flushed. The purple bruises and scratches on her face were a stark reminder of her brush with death—the driving force that had brought her to Jax’s doorstop two days early. She’d been certain he was going to turn her around and send her packing.
She still couldn’t believe they had had sex, or that he had finished so quickly. She’d been so nervous and excited. Next thing she knew he was apologizing. What the hell? What was that, like two minutes? She’d expected fireworks and for it to last longer. Quite a bit longer. In the books she’d read and the TV shows the passion seemed to go on forever. Never in a million years would she have guessed Jax would be a sexual dud. Just her freaking luck.
At least it wasn’t as painful as she’d expected. It did hurt, but only for a moment.
Taking a deep breath, Karma pulled the sheet tighter around her and shuffled back into Jax’s room. He looked up, and she could see the embarrassment clearly written all over his face. Her heart swelled at the sight and she couldn’t help but feel bad for him. She knew firsthand all too well about not living up to expectations. She didn’t mean to push him out of the bed. It just happened. After all the weeks of buildup, she had a totally different mental picture on how incredible the sex would be.
“Can I have another chance? I swear I can do better.” He stood up and walked toward her. His pale blue eyes clouded over. Karma cast her eyes down his perfect nude body. His muscles rippled when he walked. How could she ever say no to him? Maybe it would be better this time. She at least had to try. Besides they only had two more days together. Unless he decided to back out after today. Panic rose in her chest. She couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing him again.
“Practice makes perfect, right?” Karma forced a smile. “I’m sorry I pushed you out of the bed.”
Jax rubbed his back with a grimace. “Didn’t see that one coming.”
“Didn’t see you coming either.”
The both laughed, breaking the tension.
“I shouldn’t have made you feel inadequate. It wasn’t fair. Especially from me of all people. I mean seriously, I don’t even know how to have sex.” She was rambling and couldn’t seem to stop.
“Karma?” His large warm hand touched the soft curve of her waist, causing her knees to go weak.
“Yes?” She looked up at him with her wide doe eyes. The feel of his hand on her waist tingled down to her toes. He gave her one of his sexy as sin grins, sending her heart into overdrive. Slowly he lowered his head and she couldn’t look away from his beautiful mouth.
“Stop talking.” Jax’s lips touched hers and the moment they did she felt desire rise in her abdomen. God, she loved his taste and masculine smell. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and she moaned. He kissed her deeply as if he had all night. They stood there lips locked for what seemed like an eternity. His tongue explored her mouth and her body swayed toward him.
Wherever he touched her a heated tingling radiated throughout her. She was completely helpless in his arms.
He picked her up in his strong arms like she weighed nothing. The sheet dropped to the floor and Karma wrapped her legs around his waist and his large hands grasped her ass. Karma gasped. He pushed her against the wall and she bent down, kissing him with everything she had. Her nipples were sensitive and hard as they pressed against his flesh. She ran her hands through his inky black hair, tugging on it slightly. Every nerve ending in her body felt alive.
He pulled away and gazed up at her. She could see the burning intensity in his eyes.
Jax carried her over to the bed and lightly dropped her onto it, crawling on top of her. He never took his eyes off her. He supported his upper body on his arms, but kept his lower body pressed against hers. She could feel the thick hardness of him pressed against her thigh. Karma shivered with need. She ran her fingers down the front of his body, down his hard chest, flat stomach, and she wrapped her hand around his thickness. Jax made a sound deep in his throat and closed his eyes when her finger and thumb caressed the round smooth tip of him.
His hand moved up to her breast and his thumb grazed her nipple. The feel of his hard calloused hands on her bare skin was almost too much to bear.
Slowly, he dragged his hand down her belly and between her thighs. Karma’s body tensed with anticipation. His hand between her thighs closed and tightened over her mound. She gasped when he began rubbing her with slow, lazy strokes. She moaned his name and arched up against him.
He slid his fingers inside the soft folds of her body, stretching her and gently pressing his thumb on the sensitive nub that made it impossible to think. He withdrew his hand, and Karma cried out.
His warm mouth enveloped one of her swollen breasts, tugging gently with his teeth. Her breathing was uneven, and she ached to feel him inside of her again.
Obviously, Jax had other plans as he made his way down her belly, trailing his warm lips on her quivering flesh. His tongue flicked lightly on her clit repeatedly, and Karma grasped his hair in her hands, her hips rising to meet his warm mouth. He sucked, licked, and probed with his tongue. Taking his time, teasing her. Tension began to mount within her, a warm pressure, and when the release finally came her thighs tightened around him and she jerked her body upward.
“Jax!” Karma cried out as her head thrashed back and forth on the pillow. She hadn’t known such pleasure existed on this world.
“Holy shit,” Karma gasped, trying to catch her breath. “Can you do that again?”
Jax laughed loudly, reaching over to grab a condom. “I’m sure as hell going to try. You’re like a fucking innocent seductress. Do you know that?”
Karma gave a throaty laugh that didn’t even sound like herself. She reached down and wrapped her palm around his throbbing shaft and moved her hands up and down. She loved the feel of him.
Jax pulled her hand away and rolled on the condom. “I need to be inside of you.”
She wanted him to be inside of her too. More than anything in this world.
He positioned himself between her legs and slowly eased inside of her. Karma was relieved this time there was no pain. Instinctively she arched her spine, desperate to be closer to him.
“Oh my god. You’re so fucking tight. Don’t move too much.” He grabbed her thighs and pressed them down on the bed as he moved in and out slowly. Then he gave a swift thrust, possessively embedding himself inside of her. Karma caught her lower lip between her teeth and inhaled sharply, digging her fingernails into his back.
Her legs were tight with tension. She
wanted to buck her hips, but he had her pinned down.
“Relax,” he whispered, letting go of her legs, and as Karma dropped her legs loosely to the side he drove deeper. Unable to control herself; she wrapped her legs around his waist, and he increased the speed and depth. She gave out a sharp cry as pleasure spread throughout her body. This was what she had been expecting, she thought as they worked up a sweat, their bodies moving together at a frantic pace. Each thrust felt more unbelievable than the last.
Jax rolled her over so she was on top. Karma slowly eased herself up and down his shaft. Her breasts jiggled as Jax’s hips met hers. Karma groaned with pleasure when Jax leaned forward, and his mouth clasped over her breast sucking, alternating hard and soft. Karma cried out with pleasure.
She pulled back and placed her hands on his chest, rising up to the point where he almost slipped out, and then she went back down, slowly at first. He was so deep inside of her, filling up every inch, she felt like she was going to explode.
Jax grabbed her hips, guiding her faster. She could feel another orgasm building as her hips ground into his. Jax flipped her over, threw her legs over the crooks of his arms. Quickly, he found his rhythm, which was hard, fast, and deep. Karma felt a warm tingling spread throughout her body. A shudder spread through her and her muscles spasmed around his cock as she cried out his name. She could feel his cock spasm inside of her as he let out a low growl with several hard thrusts.
The weight of Jax collapsed on top of her. He was still buried deep inside. She could feel his heartbeat thudding loudly. Or maybe it was her own as she tried to regain her breath.
“Wow,” she gasped.
Jax rolled to the side, tossed the condom in the garbage can, and then pulled her closer. She laid her cheek against his chest and listened to the rapid beating of his heart.
“Better?” Jax asked, running his hands through her hair.
“Incredible is more like it. You’re amazing.” Karma ran her fingers up and down his chest. How in the hell was she going to walk away from him now?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“You can shower first,” Jax said. Although the thought of her disengaging from his body was not a pleasant one. He wanted her to stay wrapped up in his arms forever.
What the hell was wrong with him? Sex had always been purely physical for him. Being with Karma made him feel so much more. He wanted to please her. Wanted to protect her. Hell, he never wanted to let her go. Her sweet scent filled his nose as she shifted and pulled away from his embrace. He watched her walk to the bathroom. This time she didn’t reach for a sheet to cover herself. Just the sight of her bare ass and the curve of her hips made his cock harden—again. That girl had him completely tied in knots, and it scared the shit out of him.
The room suddenly seemed dimmer without her presence. He could still smell her scent on his sheets. He could still feel the impression of warmth on his body from hers.
Jax sat up and ran his hands over his face. The feelings he had for Karma terrified him. A part of him wanted to bolt. He’d kept his end of the bargain—taken her virginity. But a bigger part of him knew it would be impossible for him to walk away at this point, and he was fooling himself if he thought he could. He had to accept reality—somewhere during the last three weeks, he’d fallen head over heels.
He stared at the closed bathroom door and smiled when her voice floated through the door. He couldn’t quite make out what she was singing, but just the thought of water cascading over her naked body was enough to jolt him out of his fleeting thoughts of escape. He knew damn well he wasn’t going anywhere. And if he had anything to say about it, neither was she.
Jax placed his hands under his head and stared at the ceiling. He found himself wishing his father was around to talk to him. Had his father felt like this when he met his mother? Had the attraction been instant and enough to knock him off his feet with eye contact alone?
Of course, it would be a little awkward to talk to his father about the mind-blowing sex he’d just had. He could talk to his brother-in-law, but that didn’t sound appealing either. And forget his sisters; they’d never let him live it down. It looked like he had to rely on himself for this one.
Without giving it much thought Jax jumped out of bed and joined her in the shower. He needed to be close to her. He stepped into the shower, and she looked up, surprised. Her hands unconsciously went first to cover her chest and then her stomach.
He reached for the bar of soap and lathered it up in his hands. “Put your hands down.”
Karma looked at him and hesitated before dropping her hands to the side. He was going to make this girl believe she was beautiful if it was the last thing he did.
Jax came up behind her, wrapping one of his hands around her waist and pulling her closer to him. Her ass brushed his cock, which was now very much awake, and a jolt of pleasure surged through him. Her head dropped against his chest as he rolled her nipples between his soapy fingers. Karma rocked herself slowly back and forth. A soft moan escaped her lips.
The stream of hot water beaded down her chest as Jax used his hands to wash every crevice of her body.
Grabbing her by the elbows, Jax turned her around and pressed her against the wall in the shower. “You’re so fucking sexy.” He ran his hand down her stomach.
“You make me feel sexy,” Karma said and relaxed against him.
Jax stood in the doorway of his bedroom, one shoulder propped against the frame, watching as Karma picked her clothing off the floor in the hallway. They’d spent all day in bed and now she was ready to go home.
Jax watched as Karma pulled her sweater over her head. She stepped into her jeans and jumped side to side pulling them over her hips.
“You know you don’t have to leave. You could stay the night.” Jax lifted a hand to smooth back a strand of her hair from her face.
Karma looked up at him, startled. “Really? Are you sure, you don’t have to feel obligated.”
“Yes, really. That is if you want to, and by no means do I feel obligated. Trust me, it’s pure selfishness on my part. I love the idea of waking up with you in my arms.”
She slipped her arms up around his neck, smiling. “Well, we do only have one more day together.”
Jax stiffened. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”
Karma dropped her arms to her side, frowning. “Jax, our time ends tomorrow. We agreed. Let’s not make this more difficult than it has to be.”
“Karma, I’m not going anywhere. I don’t give a shit if three weeks or three years have passed. If you want to get rid of me I’m afraid you’re going to have to work a little harder than that.”
She sucked in a deep breath and her face dropped. Jax felt his chest tighten. Maybe she really didn’t want to pursue the relationship. Had he just imagined she felt the same way he did?
Karma looked down at the carpet and then back at him. “Jax, I’m sorry. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” Jax demanded.
Karma leaned against the wall and sank down till she was sitting on the ground. When she looked up at him her eyes glistened with tears. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can’t jeopardize it.”
Jax stared at her. He heard her words, but they didn’t make a lick of sense to him. He felt like screaming, or even begging, but she looked so distressed he held his tongue. “Make me understand, Karma.” He sank down across from her.
“Did you ever want something so badly it caused an ache deep inside of you?” Karma asked her chin quivered.
“You,” Jax said. The strength of possessiveness in his voice surprised him.
She looked up at him, draped her hands loosely around her knees, and then looked out toward the living room. “Jax, you’re the first person in my life to make me believe in myself. You’ve made me see a lot of things about myself that I needed to see. You make me feel sexy, interesting, and wanted. But you also made me see that I needed to make a lot of changes. To stop be
ing so afraid.”
Jax raised his head and studied her. “Why is that a bad thing?”
“It’s not. It’s a wonderful thing. I just can’t risk tainting it. I’d rather have an incredible memory than be shattered weeks, months, or even years down the road when we realize the relationship was built on an illusion.”
“What if it’s not? What if it’s as real as me and you?”
“You can’t promise me that.”
“No, I can’t promise you that. But I can promise you that just the thought of never seeing you again drives me mad. I’ve never felt this way before, Karma. I’m fucking crazy about you. You’re the best damn thing that has ever happened to me. You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing before I go to bed. Jesus, that sounds corny but it’s true.”
Their eyes met. Karma brushed away a tear. “I’m sorry, Jax.”
She pushed herself to standing, grabbed her keys off the counter, and ran out the door in her bare feet.
He jumped up and ran after her, yelling her name, but she never looked back.
Jax stood outside his door and watched as her car peeled out of the parking lot. He kept hoping she would stop and turn around, but she never so much as paused.
What the hell just happened? After twenty minutes of mentally willing her to come back he slammed the door shut. With shaking hands he poured himself a drink.
He should have just kept his damn mouth shut.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Three Weeks Later
Karma strolled into the kitchen and stretched, smiling. Morning sunlight filtered through the open slats of the blinds on the linoleum floor. She finally had her own place, and it felt wonderful. It was small, but big enough for her and Eva. Moving out hadn’t been as stressful as she thought it would be. Her father was supportive and for her sake attempted to hide his tears when she put the last box of her worldly belongings in her car and slammed the trunk shut. When they hugged good-bye the three of them cried like babies. Her dads were a couple of softies.
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