“Coffee?” Eva asked, biting into a slice of toast.
Karma debated. She did need a pick-me-up. She was exhausted from working and then staying up late to study for midterms. “Sure, why not.” She grabbed a mug out of the cabinet and poured herself a fresh cup from the coffeemaker. She stared at the picture on the fridge before opening it to grab the milk. Her heart ached every time she saw the reminder of her time with Jax. The first few days he had called her every day, but she never answered. She knew if she didn’t make a clean break, she would never be able to let go. During the last three weeks, she’d made a lot of progress. Switched therapists, got a job, moved into her own place, and even started going on long walks for exercise. What she hadn’t been able to do was forget about Jax.
She plopped down across the table from Eva. “I was thinking we should stop by the club tonight.”
“Where Jax works?” Eva raised an eyebrow and tapped her red nails on the side of her cup.
“Yeah, he’s probably moved on by now, but I just feel like seeing his face.”
“Well, this should be interesting. I’ll give Marc a call and see if he wants to meet up.”
Karma took a sip of the bitter coffee and added more sugar. “How’s he doing?”
Eva shrugged. “We’ve just been hanging out. He’s not ready to move on, and honestly, it’s nice to have a male friend who doesn’t want to jump my bones.”
“I wonder how Jax will react when he sees me.”
“Guess we’ll soon find out.” Eva stood up and put her plate in the sink.
The doorbell rang, startling both of them. Karma set her cup down and opened the door. Great.
“Hey, sweetie. I wanted to bring you a housewarming present.”
Karma pulled the door open, and her mother walked in, looking distastefully around the apartment. “I guess it could be called quaint. I can’t believe your father is allowing you to live in this neighborhood.”
“He’s not allowing me to do anything, Mother. I’m twenty years old.”
“You are, aren’t you? I guess I forget that sometimes. I don’t like the reminder that I’m getting old.”
“Mom, you haven’t met Eva yet. My roommate.”
Eva stepped out of the tiny kitchen and into the living room, extending her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Well, aren’t you just a hot little number. Karma, you should take some pointers from this girl. You really need to do something, sweetie. I mean you’re not getting any younger, and if you don’t trim down no one’s going to want you.”
Eva’s mouth dropped open and looked from Karma to her mother.
Karma rolled her eyes.
Eva placed her hand on her hip. “Oh no, you do not talk to my friend like that! I don’t care who the hell you are.”
“Eva, it’s not worth it. My mother is a selfish bitch who only seems to feel better about herself if she is belittling me. It doesn’t bother me anymore.”
“I don’t know why you’re getting so huffy, Karma. You know I only say things for your own good. Your father spoils you rotten and is blinded when it comes to you. I just want you to look your best.”
“No, Mom, you want me to be you. Newsflash, I’m not you. I’ll never be you, and I thank god every day I’m nothing like you. No matter how good you look, you’re never happy. And honestly, I feel sorry for you. Instead of enjoying your life you’re always making others feel bad about themselves, abusing drugs to take you away from your miserable reality, and no one can love you because you’re too ugly on the inside.”
Her mother stood there, her mouth agape. “I came here to bring you a present, and this is what I get?” She pushed the bag toward Karma.
“Maybe if you kept your insults to yourself, I would actually enjoy your company for once. But somehow I doubt it.”
Her mother’s face paled. Unsteadily she walked over to the futon and sat down on the edge. Eva looked at Karma and then walked down the hallway to her room, leaving her alone with her mother.
Karma looked in the bag and almost threw it across the room. “Are you kidding me, Mom? Diet pills and a scale? That’s my housewarming present?”
“I’m sorry.” Her mother rubbed her hand on her forehead. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I keep making things worse between us. That’s not what I want, Karma.”
Karma walked over to the garbage can and dropped the bag into it. Her new shrink had told her she needed to confront her mother. Get her feelings out in the open and try to move forward. That she either had to push her mother out of her life or accept her for the flawed creature she was.
“Mom, I can’t do this anymore. I love you, but it’s really unhealthy for me to have you in my life. I’m trying to pull myself together. I really am, and it’s so hard because no matter how many steps I take in the right direction, in the back of my mind I still hear all the ugly hurtful things you’ve said to me throughout my entire life. I don’t understand why you don’t love me. How can you despise your only child? I don’t understand your logic, and I don’t think I ever will be able to.”
Her mother looked up. “You think I don’t love you? Karma, you’re the only thing in this world that I love. I love you more than life.”
“You sure have a funny way of showing it.” Karma crossed her arms over her chest.
“I just want you to be perfect. So you can find the happiness I’ve never been able to find.”
Karma walked over and sat next to her mother. She didn’t know if she wanted to throttle her or hug her. She looked like she was about to break. “No one is perfect. Perfection doesn’t exist. I don’t know, Mom, I think your modeling career completely screwed you up. You’ve always had to live up to some ideal body type. A fantasy, that’s all it is. It’s not reality. I used to go to bed every night praying that I would wake up as beautiful as you. And every morning I woke up to the same face. Each day, it seemed to get uglier and uglier. And then you would reinforce my thoughts with your insults. I wanted to claw my face off.”
Her mother covered her mouth. “Oh Karma, I’m so sorry. What have I done?”
Karma was surprised to see tears stream down her mother’s face. For the first time in her life, she actually felt sorry for her mother. But she wasn’t going to let that stop her.
“I need you to love me for who I am. Not who you want me to be. If you can’t do that I’m going to have to push you out of my life for good. I’m sorry, but for once I am choosing my happiness over yours.” Karma wiped the tears from her face. “What you see is what you get. And I’m starting to see that what I have to offer is pretty damn great.”
Her mother threw her arms around her and sobbed into her hair. Karma tensed, not sure what to do. Her mother never hugged her. “I can’t lose you, baby.”
“Then you’re going to have to make some changes. Any time you insult me, I’m going to tell you to leave. I don’t want to hear any more about my weight, my nose, or not being smart enough. I really can’t take it.”
Her mom nodded her head. “Okay. Maybe we could go to therapy together too?”
Karma pulled back from the hug. “Why don’t we just try spending time together? Like a normal mother and daughter? I was about to go for a walk, would you like to join me?”
Her mom pulled a tissue out of her purse and dabbed her eyes. “I’d like that.”
They took turns washing their face in the bathroom. Karma let her mother wear a pair of her sneakers since she was walking around in six-inch heels.
They walked mostly in silence. Every once in a while they would make awkward small talk.
It was a start.
Chapter Thirty
Jax hated coming to the club now. Being there reminded him too much of Karma, but when he tried to quit his brother-in-law guilted him into staying. Of course, the extra money was nice too.
Three weeks had passed since Karma walked out of his life. It was crazy. The three weeks he’d spent with her went by in the blink of an eye. T
he three weeks apart from her felt like an eternity. He’d given up trying to call her. However, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He couldn’t stop wanting her.
He wondered how much time would have to pass before he would be able to drive in his truck and not picture her leg pressed against his or remember the way her lips seared his skin.
An ID was pushed in his face. He grabbed it, turned it over, and tilted his head toward the door. He glanced at his watch; this night was never going to be fucking over.
The metal door opened and closed. When he looked up to grab the next ID, he froze.
Standing a few feet from him stood Karma. She was wearing a low-cut silver dress that nearly stopped his heart. Her eyes seemed to glow from the lights. He could see the uncertainty in her gaze. Why was she here? What did it mean?
Eva nudged her forward.
Jax stood up and walked around the counter. He approached slowly. Afraid to make the wrong move.
Karma nervously pushed her hair away from her face.
Eva looked between the two of them, and then let herself through the double doors.
His heart hammered against his chest. Someone banged on the door, but he ignored them.
He was so close he could smell her shampoo. It was killing him. He wanted to reach out and touch her smooth, creamy skin, and the curve of her neck. Looking down at the swell of her breast was enough to make him come unglued.
“Jax,” she whispered.
He touched her face tentatively, holding her gaze. When she didn’t pull away his lips brushed hers and he felt the familiar electric current pass between them. He actually trembled when her lips opened willingly.
Karma leaned into the kiss, closing her eyes. Jax ran the palm of his hand down her smooth shoulder and dropped it to her waist, pulling her body to his. She melded perfectly to his contours as if they were made for each other. He kissed her slowly, taking his time. He couldn’t believe she was back in his arms.
Suddenly, he pulled away. Her face was flushed and her eyes shone brightly. “Karma, why are you here?”
The pounding on the door continued and Jax glared at the door. “One minute.”
He walked quickly through the doors and grabbed Rob, one of the other bouncers. “I gotta head out for the night. Take my place at the front. I’ll let my brother-in-law know.”
Rob shrugged and followed him to the front.
Jax grabbed Karma’s hand and they walked out the front door into the cool night air. As they walked his mind raced. He was still sorta pissed at the way she’d left him. They didn’t even have their last day together. But he also wanted to hear what she had to say.
Once they were far enough away from the club-goers waiting to enter, Jax stopped and turned to face her. “What’s going on?”
Karma looked down at her feet and then back at Jax. “I miss you.”
The simple words disarmed him, but he wasn’t going to let her off the hook that easily. “You could have returned my calls.”
“I wanted to give myself space. I figured it took three weeks for me to fall in love with you. I wanted to see if it would take three weeks to get you out of my system.”
He stood motionless. She loved him? His heart pounded. “And did it work? Am I out of your system?”
“Obviously not if I’m standing here right now. I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me. I guess I just wanted to tell you I’ve figured some things out in the last few weeks.”
“Such as?”
“It’s okay to fail. I realized running away from you because I was afraid I might get hurt was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done. All my life I’ve wanted to be someone else, until I met you. I love the way I feel when I’m with you. I love who I am when I’m with you. For the first time in my life I actually like what I see in the mirror. I had to make sure I wasn’t using you as a crutch.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. I found out that even without you, I still liked who I had become. Which made me realize I was a complete idiot. Hell, we might not even work out. You might not even give me a second chance, or we could crash and burn in weeks. But to give up something that brings me so much pleasure because of fear is absurd. I don’t think I would ever have figured that out on my own if it hadn’t been for that stupid list.”
Jax swallowed, not trusting himself to speak. A rush of desire so sudden and fierce flowed through him. He could almost feel her firm breasts filling his hands, her thick thighs cradling him between them. He was hard and could hardly breathe.
“Do you still want me?” Karma whispered, her voice breaking.
“More than anything.”
Karma’s face lit up and she threw her arms around him. He couldn’t get her back to his place fast enough.
Jax had been awake for nearly an hour. His arm was cramped and painful, but he didn’t move it. Karma lay still in his arms, her arm wrapped around his waist. He wanted to slide his hands down her body, but she looked too peaceful. Her warm breath on his chest was like heaven. As usual, his cock ached to be inside of her.
Her eyes fluttered open, and she gave him a sleepy smile that made his stomach dip. “I was afraid I was going to wake up and find out last night was just a dream.” Her hand lazily roamed over his chest.
“Me too. I didn’t want to fall asleep. But it’s not a dream.” He pressed his lips to her temple. “I’ve been lying awake thinking that we needed to clarify something.”
“Such as?”
“I don’t want to share you, Karma.” Her hand stopped moving and she went very still. “Are you willing to make this exclusive?”
“Of course, Jax. I only want you, and I’d be green with envy if you were with anyone else.”
He searched her face and any doubts slipped away. “Thank god.” He pulled her against his chest and rolled on top of her, adjusting his body to give him room for his hand to slide down to her breast. He rubbed his thumb back and forth over her nipple, which quickly hardened from his touch.
Karma tilted her head back and he dipped his head to catch her lips with his—they were warm and sweet. Without hesitation, her tongue swirled around his mouth. Jax groaned.
Her small soft hands moved down his back. He pulled away to grab a condom.
“Jax.” Her voice was urgent and demanding. Her legs dropped to the side and she raised her hips.
“Jesus, Karma.” Jax’s voice was husky as his body joined with hers. A wild desire drove his body. Her soft moans and cries only increased his pleasure.
He was never going to get enough of this girl, and he planned on spending the rest of his days proving that to her.
Acknowledgments
I would like to thank everyone involved in the process of making Unintentional Virgin become a reality. My husband for his unwavering support. My beta readers: Amy, Gabby and Heather, my wonderful street team and of course my editors Allison and Christine without them I’d be in trouble. Last but not least Eden Crane for the beautiful cover.
About the Author
A.J. Bennett lives in Nashville, Tn with her husband and bulldog. She’s addicted to coffee, popcorn and books. To find out more about A.J. checkout her website. ajbennettauthor.com
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