The Devil Between Us
Page 17
“Why?” Jesse asked.
“I don’t know. I guess we wanted to wait and see if it was going to work out between us.”
“Do you travel together doing shows?”
“Rarely. He is usually gone on business. Him and Boone own several saloons together.”
“Do you see yourself finally settling down?”
“I don’t know. I’m so confused. I thought I was falling for him, but when I saw you again…I just don’t know.”
“I shouldn’t have come here. I should have stayed away.”
“Don’t say that. I’m glad you’re here. I like being with you. I wish you would just give us a chance. Maybe you’re right and we shouldn’t be together, but what if we are meant to be. How will we ever know if we don’t give us a try?”
“Abs, I wish I was the one for you.”
“How do you know you’re not? I’m not asking you to give up your life on the mountain and settle down with me.”
“That’s it. My life is far away and yours is down here. It would never work.”
“I guess. Maybe you’re right. We are from two different worlds. I wish we weren’t.”
“Me too, but at least we can be good friends. I really want that. Is that something you can live with, or would it be better if I leave in the morning and we never see each other again? I don’t want to come between you and Sam.”
“I definitely want you in my life. Regardless. I care about you. If Sam and I are meant to be, then it will happen for us.”
“All right. It’s been a long day. Let’s talk more in the morning,” Jesse said, stifling a yawn.
Abby got up. “You probably should sleep off the whiskey anyway.” She extinguished the two kerosene lamps in the room and then curled up next to Jesse again. “You sleep well, Jesse.”
“You too, Abs. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
Jesse lightly massaged her fingers across Abby’s temple, sending her straight to sleep, head in the crook of Jesse’s shoulder.
Jesse turned her head, unable to stop herself from inhaling the lovely fragrance of Abby’s hair. Soon her fingers began to tingle and she lowered the sleeping limb. It fell on Abby’s bare thigh, pushing through the folds of the robe. Jesse couldn’t resist. She grazed the skin ever so slightly, and it was as soft as she imagined it would be. Abby stirred and Jesse pulled her hand guiltily away.
How can I be attracted to another woman? I’ve never heard of such a thing. But it feels so right being with Abby. What would it be like to touch each other? To really touch each other? No more secrets. No more lies.
The thought of how much she would like it frightened her enough that she considered sneaking out of the room right then, never to see Abby again. It was all too much to deal with.
After such a long day of riding, stress, and whiskey, Jesse simply couldn’t think anymore. She gave in to her fatigue, drifting off to sleep with Abby nestled beside her.
Abby woke the next morning lying in Jesse’s arms, relieved it hadn’t been a dream. She gave herself a few extra minutes to enjoy the moment before crawling out of bed. After slipping into a dress, she hastily ran her fingers through her hair. She tiptoed from the room, careful not to make a sound.
Downstairs, Mabel was waiting on the coffee to brew. “So, did you finally make a man out of him?” she asked with an ornery grin.
“It’s not like that. I don’t think he would be with any woman unless he was married.”
“Oh, hun, there ain’t no man on earth who don’t want it, married or not. Especially from one that looks like you.”
“Believe me, I’ve tried. He says he just wants to be my friend.”
Mabel shook her head in disbelief. “Take him a cup of coffee and when you get back to the room, strip off all your clothes and say come and get it.” They both chuckled at the comment.
Abby went back to the room with two cups of coffee and a shot of whiskey. Quietly, she placed the drinks on the bedside table, pushed the clothes off the chair, and took a seat. Abby studied Jesse as she slept, recalling what it felt like when their lips touched. She could tell, even fully clothed, that Jesse’s body was solid muscle. She admired Jesse’s hands, fantasized about how it would feel to have them travel over her body, exploring each curve and hollow.
Jesse began to stir, pulling Abby from her musings. She kissed the crescent-shaped scar on Jesse’s forehead. “Good morning. How are you feeling?” she asked.
This was the first time Jesse could recall being sad to see the sun come up. Even though things hadn’t turned out the way either had truly hoped, their night together had been wonderful all the same, and they hated to see it end. Jesse sat on the edge of the bed, elbows on her knees, her pounding head in her hands. “I’ve been better. Got a terrible headache and I’m so thirsty.” She rolled her tongue in her mouth, trying to produce some saliva. “You got any water?”
Abby handed her the shot glass.
“Whiskey? Thank you, but no thanks,” Jesse said, grimacing.
“I know it’s the last thing you want right now, but you have to trust me on this one. The hair of the dog is just what you need.”
“The hair of the what?”
Laughing, Abby pushed the shot glass closer to Jesse’s mouth. “Just drink it. I promise it will make you feel much better.” Jesse didn’t want it, but she trusted Abby. She threw back the shot, wincing as it burned all the way down.
“Hopefully you’ll start feeling better soon,” Abby said, exchanging the shot glass for a cup of coffee.
“Thanks. You can be sure of one thing. It will be a long time before I ever have another shot. I guess I’m not a drinker.”
“Well, that’s not a bad thing. Trust me. I’ve dealt with my share of drunks, my father being the biggest,” Abby said. Not wanting the memories of her childhood to ruin the moment, she changed the subject. “Someday, I would still like to see where you live. I can only imagine how beautiful it must be up there.”
Jesse would never know if it was the instant courage of the alcohol, jealousy, or the yearning to spend more time with Abby. For whatever reason, she blurted out, “Come with me and I’ll take you up the mountain. You can’t stay long because I’ll have to get you back before the river becomes impassable.”
“I’d love to go with you, but I’m not sure I can leave right now,” Abby said, stunned by the invitation.
“I know. It’s sudden.”
“Let me think about it. I would love to go, but I’m not sure now is the time.”
“I’m going back to Ely. You know I can’t stay long and if you decide not to come, I’ll understand.”
They finished their coffee and walked downstairs. As Jesse untied Buck, Abby, unable to resist, wrapped her arms around Jesse for one final hug. With the reins in one hand, Jesse let her free arm slide neatly up Abby’s back.
“Remember, I will only be in Ely for two days, then I have to go.” She broke the embrace and settled onto the saddle.
Abby reached up and placed her hand on Jesse’s leg. “I know. I can’t give you an answer right now. Let me think about it.”
“If you can’t make it, there’s always next year.”
“Well, if I don’t see you before you leave, you be careful up there,” Abby said.
“I will, Abs. I’ll see you when I see you. Bye for now.”
“Goodbye, Jesse.”
Abby stood and watched Jesse ride away, waiting until she could no longer make out the horse or rider before walking back into the saloon. When she did make her entrance, she was greeted by the oohs and aahs of her friends.
“We know what you did. Shame! Shame!”
If they only knew.
Chapter Eighteen
Since there was no need for haste, Jesse kept Buck at a smooth trot as she made the ride back to Ely. Despite Abby’s assurances of the cure-all, she still wasn’t feeling well. Even with her hat pulled down low, the glaring sun still managed to sting her sensitive, bloodshot ey
es. A massive headache had started to throb. Without warning, Jesse leaned to the side and vomited, a spontaneous reflex. She pulled back on the reins, dismounted, and doubled over at the side of the road. Hands on her knees, she continued to purge on a small juniper bush until the urge had passed.
She lifted her brim soaked hat, wiped the sweat from her brow, and spat a few sour remnants into the dirt. Scanning the area, she searched for a nearby water source—she saw nothing. Flies had already begun to swarm the acidic mass before she swung up in the saddle.
Several more times along the way she had to stop and dismount. Eventually, there was nothing to heave except dry guts, fighting for escape with every retch. Pain racked her abdomen and bile stung her throat. She was parched. Not a drop of saliva wet her dry and tacky mouth. Dehydration burned her stomach and squeezed her skull. She obsessed about finding something, anything to drink.
Now, with a sense of urgency, she increased Buck’s speed. She never slowed, even when she passed fellow travelers on the road. Just a quick nod as she galloped past, leaving a trail of dust in her wake.
Jesse had never been more grateful to see the hotel come into view. She leapt off Buck before he stopped. The arrival invigorated her, giving her the strength to run to the well. She cranked the wooden handle feverishly. She couldn’t wait. Jesse swore to herself, grabbed the rope, and yanked the bucket up by hand. Never in her life could she remember being so thirsty.
Jesse plunged the ladle in the bucket and gulped down the cool water. Mouthful after mouthful she swallowed until her stomach roiled. She paused, ladle forgotten. The water she had taken in wanted back out. Hands on her stomach, body still, she managed to keep it down. When the urge had passed, she continued to drink until she felt her stomach might burst.
Edith could tell something was amiss before she reached the well. She’d been letting rooms out to men for a long time. One look at Jesse told her everything she needed to know. Not as bad off as some she’d seen, but even so, it surprised her to see Jesse that way. She knew what Jesse was experiencing was doing more good than anything she could ever say. Edith decided to skip the lecture. “I was wondering what happened to you last night. Thought you might’ve ended up sleeping at The Foxtail.”
Jesse wiped the dripping water from her chin with the palm of her hand. She grumbled, voice raspy, “Never again will I drink whiskey.” She took off her hat and used her wet hand to slick the bangs off her forehead, and then put her hat back on. “I rode down to Big Oak to see Abby.”
“How’d that go?”
“Not too good at first, but things are better now.”
“Glad to hear that,” Edith said. “I got your room ready. Why don’t you finish up and come inside? I baked some fresh cornbread this morning and from the looks of you, I think you could use some food in your belly.”
After taking one last drink, Jesse joined Edith inside. Already full on water, and still nauseated, Jesse could barely bring herself to eat. She made herself sit at that table and eat two small pieces of cornbread before heading to her room.
With what little strength she had left, she kicked off her boots and collapsed onto the bed. It was a significant upgrade from the barn, but she couldn’t enjoy it. She cursed herself again as she lay there with her arm shielding her eyes, entertaining the worst headache she had ever had.
Several hours later, wonderful aromas woke her before she opened her eyes. She rose slowly. Emptiness gnawed at her stomach as she sat on the edge of the bed. The water and sleep had done her a world of good, and she was relieved to find her head actually felt much better. She slipped on her boots and made her way toward the kitchen in search of the tantalizing smell.
“I was wondering when I’d see you. You looked pretty rough this morning,” Edith said. “Have a seat and I’ll fix us a bowl.”
“I’ll be right back,” Jesse said, fidgeting. She hurried outside, in desperate need of the outhouse. When she returned, Edith was seated at the table. Jesse licked her dried, cracked lips as she looked at the steaming bowl of ham and beans.
“So, is this a good time to ask what’s going on with you two?” Edith handed Jesse a slab of buttered cornbread.
“She might show up here in a day or two. If so, she’s going to Barrel with me—to help me get some things done. She’s not sure if she can get away right now. Edith, this looks delicious.”
“Well, thank you. There is plenty more if you’d like, but you might want to go easy on your gut right now.”
A wagon pulled up to the barn, making enough noise to draw their attention. They looked out the window.
Jesse asked, “What’s Felix doing?”
“Oh, he’s droppin’ off some lumber for me. I want to get started on adding another stall in the barn.”
“Is Felix going to build it for you?”
“Heavens no. God gave me two perfectly-capable hands.”
“Look, I’m going to be staying for a couple days. Let me build it for you,” Jesse said.
“Well, that would be awful nice of you, but I can manage.”
“I want to do it. You’d be doing me a favor. I’d rather keep busy while I’m here.”
“Well, if you insist, I’m not going to turn down good help.” Edith reached across the table and patted Jesse’s hand. “I need to show Felix where I want those boards,” she said, standing up from the table.
Jesse scooted out her chair. When she went to stand, Edith placed a hand on her shoulder and guided her back in the seat. “You just finish up your soup beans.”
Edith went outside. Felix jumped down and stood next to her. They leaned on the edge of the wagon, looking at the planks of wood.
“Afternoon, Sunshine,” said Felix. “Do you realize I’ve been asking you for almost two years now? Woman, when are you going to say yes?” He nudged her with his elbow.
“Felix, we have talked about this. I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment. Besides, why do something that could ruin what we have?”
“All right, I know better than to argue with a woman who has her mind made up. I might be later than usual tonight. I’ve got a late delivery coming in.”
“I’ll be here.” She gave his arm a tender squeeze.
It was a struggle for Edith to move on after her husband’s sudden passing. They had been married for sixteen years when Isaac came down with tetanus after stepping on a nail. She truly loved him, but she had always lived under his control. He made all the decisions and she obeyed. Not that he ever mistreated her, but a wife knows her place. After his passing she slowly began to realize how much she enjoyed her freedom. She could do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. She had started a new business, on her own, and it was doing well. Even though she loved Felix, she had no desire to live under anyone’s thumb again. She cherished her independence.
Felix started unloading the boards. “I’ll start working on it this weekend,” he said.
“Actually, Jesse is going to build it for me.”
“No reason to pay someone. I’ll do it.”
“He doesn’t want paid. Just wants a project to do while he’s in town.”
“Well, that’s nice of him.”
“Sure is. He’s a nice young man.” Edith smiled.
Jesse made her way outside and helped Felix and Edith unload and stack the remaining boards. Edith explained where she wanted the stall erected, and not one to waste daylight, Jesse set right to work. She was thankful to have a project to focus on. If she kept her mind on the task at hand, maybe she could stop thinking so much about the young girl she met at The Drake who had to give her body to paying customers. Jesse always knew she had been blessed to have been taken in by Frieda, but seeing young Sarah was an epiphany. She realized that could have been her. And then there were thoughts of Abby. The idea of sharing a small cabin with her for an extended period of time concerned her greatly.
Time passed swiftly as the stall took shape. In two days, the blink of an eye, the stall was completed.
She was sad Abby had not shown, but she also felt relieved knowing it was probably for the best. Pushing the thoughts away, she got dressed and began packing for the trip home. She startled when someone rapped at the door. Jesse smiled when she heard the voice.
“Jesse, you up?” Edith asked. “Got something for you.”
Since finishing the stall, Jesse had been thanked so profusely she was beginning to think no one had ever done something kind for Edith. She opened the door, ready to tell Edith no more thanks were necessary. Her words vanished, utterly forgotten, when she saw Abby standing next to Edith.
After Abby stepped into the room, Edith gave Jesse a conspiratorial wink before closing the door.
“I didn’t think you were coming,” Jesse said. “Are you sure you’re up for this? It’s not going to be easy—you are coming, right?”
“Yes. And I’m more than ready!” Abby said, eyes sparkling.
“What did you tell Sam?”
“I told him I’d be back next month. I don’t think he was happy about it, but this is something I really want to do. Of course, I never told him exactly where I was going. Just said I was going with you to Barrel to help you get some things done this summer. We will be back next month, right?”
“Yeah. Is he mad you’re going with me?” Jesse raised an eyebrow.
“Maybe a little, but it’s not like he is going to come here and shoot you for taking me away. I told him it’s just a friend helping out a friend. Enough about Sam. I heard you made quite an impression on Sarah. She said you were the perfect gentleman. I expected no less. It was sweet of you to give her money.”
“I can’t get her out of my mind. She is so young. What is she, sixteen?”
“Fourteen actually.” Abby could tell by Jesse’s expression she was stunned by the revelation. She shook her head. “Sad to say, I’ve seen younger ones than that working in some of the saloons.”