NAC & The Holly Group - Box set: Alpha Team

by Chelsea Handcock

  First things first. Assess the area for immediate danger. When his body wouldn’t cooperate, he remembered he had done this before, at least five times before, to no avail. He still couldn’t move. As that small memory came, he would have laughed, but as Cash learned as a child, he adapted and tried to figure out what to do next.

  Using the only tool available to him, he looked around. He could see his body floating in the water. The t-shirt he wore was torn, and he could see blood which he had to assume was his own. He could also see his feet bob up and down every so often, still covered in the thick leather combat boots he chose to wear. His arms and legs seemed to be straight, indicating no breaks, but he couldn’t be one hundred percent sure, at the moment. As far as he was concerned though, he was putting that bit of knowledge in the win column. Licking his lips, he was grateful at least one part of his body worked. The water was fresh, no salt. That narrowed things down for him. With the assessment of his body done or at least as complete as he could make it without being able to move, Cash focused on other things.

  Cash couldn’t lift his head, but he was able to see straight ahead and slightly on each side, using his peripheral vision. It wasn’t much, but it was something. Cash knew he was in a fast-moving river of some kind. Not a lake or ocean because he could see trees and rocks moving by quickly. The current was also another indicator, not where, but what he was in. The current was strong enough to drag his useless body along with it. Had he been in a lake, chances of him getting out of this were slim to none at this time of year with the snow and ice. At least now, he had a little hope of getting to shore, eventually.

  His mind wandered to being trapped under a thick sheet of ice, and he could feel the bile in his stomach climbing up his throat. Fuck, just what he needed right now. Calming himself, he took several deep breaths, calming his riotous stomach and the unpleasant thoughts roaming around in his head. Cash started to pull within himself, reaching his beast for extra strength and stamina but was met with nothing but a void. The constant hum he had felt from the time he came of age wasn’t there.

  What the fuck happened? Small bits of information came to him slowly. He remembered he and Ryleigh being on his plane, leaving Bravo’s base after she went through some kind of testing for the baby. He couldn’t remember what the testing was but knew it was important. He also recalled the entire time they were there, he kept feeling like they needed to leave, that something was wrong or going to happen. He could never put his finger on precisely what, but he knew, so did his beast. When they got the call to divert to pick up Bas, Cash knew he should have said no, but Ryleigh had been insistent, and Jacks, the fucker, had agreed with her.

  What he couldn’t figure out was why. Jacks had been so hell-bent against her leaving at first, then he agreed. The man, his best friend, even forced his bear into compliance to allow her to go. So why would he authorize an unplanned stop in their trip even if it was to help out Bas and his mate? There were other teams out there who could have helped with the retrieval.

  Cash also remembered Bas, the arrogant ass, trying to run from his mate, and Cash accusing him of being a coward. Then his memories switched to taking off with everyone onboard. Pushing his mind further, Cash started regaining some of what was lost to him. He remembered when the first engine failed, then the next. He also recalled giving the order to evacuate Rye from the plane. A very pregnant Rye. Shit, had he really done that? Was that the right thing to do?

  Fuck he felt like he was on some kind of pansy assed emotional roller coaster. Wanting to die, fighting to live, questioning everything he had done or had happened. What the fuck was going on with him for months now? He had been fighting the ever-growing emotions in him. His bear was going closer and closer to the edge.

  His clouded mind kept hitting on one fact though. Even if the plane went down, he would have been okay, injured but okay. Not in the state he was in right now, no beast within and unable to move. Even the pain should have in his body was minimal. That could be because of the water, but with his Shifter genes, again, he body should be compensating. Nothing was adding up. Why couldn’t he move, and where the hell was his beast? The fucker had been tormenting him all his damn life, now he was just gone? It didn’t make any sense. He knew one day he would go rogue, it was inevitable. Without a mate, every Shifter was destined to that fate, and Cash had lost his chance a long time ago. But this shit wasn’t anything like he had ever expected. The peace and calm were disconcerting to him. Cash had expected chaos and pain, not this shit. It was its own kind of hell, and Cash wasn’t sure if he liked it any better than what he had been preparing himself for all his adult life.

  When memories of his first failure started to cloud his mind, he tried to force them away, but Jessie's beautiful face kept flashing. He remembered her sweet, shy little smile and the way her blue-green eyes glittered when she became excited. He remembered the way she would look at him like he could save the world. Then he remembered the feeling of their bond being torn from his body, and the pain he lived with every single day since.

  He also remembered how he had failed her, how she would never have been taken if he had just been a man and followed through with what he promised, instead of going off with Jacks to shift in the damn woods. How she would have never been alone if he would have just kept his damn word.

  Cash’s memories of that day bombarded his mind. Jessie standing on her doorstep in a pink t-shirt and cutoff shorts, near tears with her lip slightly pouted out, asking him over and over again, why can’t you stay?

  Cash could see himself standing there, shifting foot to foot, Jacks and Lance in the background, goading him to hurry up. He was seventeen, and he thought they had all the time in the world. He knew he loved Jessie, had since the moment they moved into town, but Cash was still a boy himself, just barely seventeen and she wasn’t anywhere near being ready for the feelings he had for her. She was just a girl, only fourteen.

  Cash pushed, trying to dislodge the memory. He didn’t want to see the tears in her eyes or what he had done next. He had played the same scene over and over in his mind, every day for years. But he was helpless to stop them. The memories kept coming. He had tried to appease her, saying he would be back later. She wasn’t having that; she wanted him to stay, and he had gotten mad.

  Groaning, he heard the words in his mind, “Grow up Jessie quit acting this way,” Cash had pleaded, reaching his hand out to her rubbing her arm.

  Damn, he had been so mad and frustrated. Jessie was only fourteen. He had never once taken their relationship beyond one small kiss. He was a boy of seventeen, just coming into his own—shifting for the first time along with all the sexual feelings he was having toward her. It took considerable effort on his part not to push or pursue her, but he was doing it, and she just couldn’t cut him any slack.

  He saw his seventeen-year-old self backing away, then he heard the words that played over in his mind consistently. “Don’t bother Cash Warren, I hate you!!” He watched as Jessie stomped her foot, turned, and walked into the house, slamming the door in his face.

  Jacks and Lance were laughing at him, and he played it off like it was no big deal. The memory switched to hours later—Lance, Jacks, and him walking out of the woods, laughing and joking around; Lance and Jessie’s, mom, running up to them screaming, “Where is she?” Cash could feel the dread seeping into this soul. He could see himself screaming out Jessie’s name as he fell to his knees.

  The memory changed quickly, a warmth entering his body. A small woman with jet black hair and sparkling emerald eyes smiled at him. She was standing in a field. Cash didn’t recognize the place, but it was warm and bright. He had a feeling he needed or wanted to stay there. He started walking toward the woman, but with every step he took, she seemed farther away.

  “Wait,” Cash called out to her, holding up his hand. She shook her head, the smile gone. His breath was taken away by how sad she looked. He wanted to help her even though he had no idea who she was. He started
running, but it didn’t matter, he couldn’t get to her. He yelled out to her again, “Please, wait, let me help you!” Cash tripped and fell to his knees, and the woman was right in front of him, her hand on his chest. Damn, she was beautiful. Tiny delicate features, her skin looked so soft, he wanted to touch it, but when he reached up to touch her, she vanished faster than she had appeared. Her lingering smooth, sultry voice on the wind, “I will not let you die.” Then there was only black.

  Chapter Two

  Jenna Smith paced her tiny cabin relentlessly, one side to the other, over and over again. The already worn hardwood floors were getting more mileage today than they had in the last year. But she couldn’t stop even if she wanted to; she had already tried numerous times. For over two hours, she paced, every hair on her body standing on end, making her skin crawl, the feeling beyond uncomfortable. Nothing she did relieved it, and as the time went on, it intensified.

  Forcing herself to stop again, Jenna sat down on the couch for what had to be the tenth time in the past hour. Determined to do something different, she grabbed her favorite afghan, wrapping it around her body, but the ordinarily soft blanket was irritating her even more than the pacing. The comfort she usual got from it so far out of reach, she didn’t know if it would ever come back. Yanking it from around her, Jenna threw it to the end of the couch and glared at the offending lump, giving it her dirtiest look. She knew it was a childish move, but it was either that or throw a temper tantrum even a two-year-old would be proud of, and she wasn’t in the mood to throw herself down on the floor just yet. That time might still come. She laughed at her own silly thought, imagining herself on the floor banging her hands and feet against it screaming “Why me!” Unfortunately, the more adult side brain countered her silly thoughts with, “Why not you?”

  Damn, Jenna thought, she was so not in the mood to “adult” right now. She was used to being by herself, but this was getting ridiculous, her subconscious was criticizing her thoughts. Hell, maybe she was going insane. She might even welcome that versus what she knew was happening. She theorized countering her subconscious that perhaps the isolation, loneliness, and fear were finally taking the little bit of herself that remained. Jenna shrugged her shoulders and thought she deserved it after all because of the things she had done. The people who were hurt because of her actions. Maybe she thought this was how it was supposed to be. Her subconscious was muted to those thoughts, and Jenna thought yeah, I wouldn’t be that lucky.

  Getting up with a huff and stomping her feet down on the floor a little harder than necessary, Jenna stood and continued her track around the room, rubbing her arms, trying to rub away how she was feeling. Tension and discomfort were the only words Jenna could think of, but it was more intense than that, almost like a counter energy was beating against hers, willing her to do its bidding. Like that feeling when you know someone is watching you but different, more intense.

  Some people might call it an intuition, but Jenna called it hell. She knew damn well something was outside calling to her, and the feeling made her shiver with dread. She shook her head and corrected her previous thought. Not something, someone; she knew better than to think it was something. She would have been happy with something, but this was a person. A person she was pretty sure would need something from her; that was the only time she ever felt like this. Although the feelings had never lasted this long before, this was different, more powerful and frightening.

  Her eyes kept going to the window, then the door even when she tried to distract herself. Her body and mind were compelling her to go outside and to find whoever it was. She didn’t want to do that, every cell in her body rebelled against doing just that, but the rebellion couldn’t compete with the draw.

  Grabbing her coat, boots, and the rest of her winter gear, Jenna threw it all into a pile on the floor, much like what she had done with the afghan, only this time, she didn’t glare at it. She walked away, not quite ready to accept the inevitable. As she walked, Jenna started looking around for anything that would make her stop what she knew she was going to do. Crossing her arms over her stomach, she hugged herself, the tension becoming too much; she knew the person was getting closer. Every time Jenna would pass the pile on the floor, she had to stop and look at it for a while, then force herself away again; it was ridiculous. The feeling was even worse when she came to the window or door.

  Looking around the cabin, she realized how much she had loved her time there alone, healing from past hurts and unwanted demands. The cottage itself was tiny, but as far as she was concerned, it was home. The only place she had ever felt truly comfortable in a very long time. Her Uncle had tried to give her a happy home as a child, but Jenna had always felt like an intruder in his life or worse, an obligation. His house was beautiful and massive but lacking warmth. This place, on the other hand, exuded it from the knotty pine wall to the stone fireplace and comfortable overstuffed furniture.

  But it was more than that, she had made this cabin, in the middle of nowhere, hers. Everywhere she looked, she could see a little part of herself. The floor to ceiling bookshelves held some of her favorite books. The blue and green pillows she had stacked in the corner provided her with hours of comfort as she sat in front of her fireplace and read. Even the pictures of her friends and family on the wall and mantle, placed haphazardly, just the way she liked them. No order or pattern, the items, set randomly, so she could get the best view of them from wherever she was sitting. Then there were the little knick-knacks she had placed in every nook and cranny. Things that didn’t make sense to anyone but her—a rock she found that sparkled in the light she found fascinating, a sticker one of her patients had given her when she was still able to work in the hospital, a flower she had pressed when she was fourteen years old. This was what she had always wanted, and now, she was going to have to leave it all behind.

  Peace, that was all she ever asked for, but wherever she went and whatever she did, she could never find that, and it pissed her off. Hell, she had thought she found it here, had kept that illusion for almost five years now, but like with all good things, it was coming to an end. She knew she would have to make a call soon, and that would be it. Another tingle ran up her spine. Whoever was out there was coming closer to her home, but she was still resisting, still had some power over what was about to happen even if it was all just an illusion.

  Jenna had moved out to the middle of nowhere Canada to avoid shit like this, the calling or whatever the fuck it was. Her closest neighbor was over twenty-five miles away, and a small town even further. Hell, all she had to communicate with the outside world was an old CB that reached a couple of the locals, and she hadn’t even used it in over a year. She had a standing order for food and supplies that were dropped onto her land by biplane. An arrangement she had made before even coming out here.

  Once a year, she would make her way to town and get whatever else she needed and contact her family. That was the deal she had struck with them, and it worked for her. Most of her family and friends honored her wishes, her Uncle not so much. He came and went as he pleased, and Jenna accepted it. She had money and means, but Jenna wanted to be off the grid as much as possible, and she liked her life this way, chose it. Well, even Jenna had to admit to herself if not anyone else, she wasn’t that far off the grid. She had electricity and a generator and the ability and capability of contacting someone if she was in need. She just didn’t have people around her all the time. But that damn fickle bitch fate was always messing with her. It was almost like a taunt, saying you think you got away, but you didn’t.

  Fate had slapped Jenna more than once, and she was sick of it. Sighing, she realized she might be sick of it, but Fate wasn’t anywhere close to being done with her. Resigned, she stopped pacing and sat on the floor, grabbed her boots and coat, and started to get ready to brave the frigid temperatures outside.

  All dressed, Jenna stepped out into the frigid winter. The first thing she always did was take a deep breath, holding it and counting
to five. Jenna didn’t know why, but she always did it, maybe it centered her or something. She liked to think it cleared all the worries out of her mind, giving her a fresh start for a new day. But she had a ritual, just like a lot of people did; the next step was taken without thought. Jenna closed her eyes and let her senses wander. The pull was coming from the west, toward the river. Opening her eyes, she looked in that direction but didn’t immediately see anyone although she did notice the thick dark clouds off in the distance. A storm was coming, and from the looks of it, there was no doubt it would be a bad one.

  The snow was already deep but not deep enough to pull out her snowshoes, she could still walk without sinking to her knees. Looking up at the sky again, she realized that by morning this little trek wouldn’t be possible without them. Instead of going straight for the river, she walked around her cabin, checking to make sure it was ready for the storm. Her wood supply was good, but she needed to bring more up to the porch, and she needed to go out to the barn and bring up more fuel for the generator. Chances of the electricity going out during the storm were inevitable.

  Jenna closed the thick shutters on the back of the house over the window, just like she did for every storm and proceeded around the sides to do the same thing. She didn’t want the chance of a branch coming through in the middle of the storm, she had already lived through that once, and it wasn’t fun. Gritting her teeth, she knew she had waited long enough to head to whoever was calling to her.

  The river wasn’t very far from her cabin, but it would still take some time to get there, so she started walking, keeping a lookout for anything unusual. Snow covered the land and looked undisturbed except for a few tracks some animals, probably deer or rabbit, had made. As she got closer, she could hear the water before she saw it. The river was running hard which also meant it was deeper than usual too.