Fugitives MC

by Daphne Loveling

  Spider never told Tallie about the dreams, although he knew she was aware he was having nightmares. In his waking hours, Spider found himself once more agonizing over the past he could not change, no matter how hard he tried to put it out of his mind. The problem was, now there was a reminder right in front of him of how faithless he had been. When Spider looked at Tallie, he saw her brother. He saw Gonzo’s girlfriend, Brenna, too – Brenna, whose only crime against the Fugitives was being the mayor’s daughter, and therefore the object of suspicion in the eyes of the club. Both Spider and Gonzo had found women who were beautiful, intelligent, and more perfect than an outlaw biker had any reason to expect. Gonzo had paid the ultimate price for it, and Brenna’s life had been destroyed in the process. And now, ten years later, Spider looked on as if he was a mere helpless bystander as he watched himself ruin Tallie’s.

  Tallie. She had no parents left, and now no brother because of the club. She had nothing but Spider. She deserved better than what he was able to give her. He could feel her love, the trust she had put in him. But instead of being able to return it, all he found he could do was shy away from the memories she brought up in him. Dismally, fatalistically, he told himself that she would be better off, once she had finally had enough and left him.

  Spider’s eyes clouded with sadness and shame as he turned now into the parking lot of Teasers, the strip club owned by the Fugitives whose back half also served as their clubhouse. Several motorcycles were already parked in the lot, and he saw Dime Bag wave to him as he got off his own bike. Spider knew he needed to clear his mind of thoughts about his troubling personal life, to focus on the serious business the club was facing. In the absence of Chig, Spider was in charge, and he needed to act like it. He couldn’t afford to let the club down. He would give them a quick update on Chig’s hospitalization, and let them know that Deanie and Tallie were at the hospital with him. Then, he would have to tell the club about the new and potentially complicated problem they were facing. The first one which he would have to lead them through as acting president of the club.

  He hoped he was up to the task.

  Chapter Three

  When Tallie got to St. Mark’s Hospital, she found Deanie just outside the room where they had put Chig. She was drinking coffee out of a Styrofoam cup and looking flustered, her eyes casting about helplessly. Even in distress, Deanie was dressed with obvious attention to her style, in dark boot-cut jeans, ankle boots, and a sequined top. When her gaze fell on Tallie, the woman’s face slid into an expression of unmistakable relief.

  “Deanie, how are you?” Tallie asked as she hugged Spider’s mother. “What’s happening?”

  “The nurses are helping Chig with a bedpan,” Deanie replied, her voice tight with anxiety. “He didn’t want me in the room. I’m waiting for them to be done.”

  Alarm flashed across Tallie’s face, but she fought to conceal it. If Chig was using a bedpan, it meant he wasn’t strong enough at the moment to get up and go to the bathroom by himself. In recent months, the once robust and bear-like Chig had lost all of his excess weight and was now just on the verge of becoming too thin to look healthy. However, up to now, even when he was fatigued from chemo treatments, he had not seemed to lose strength. A Chig too weak to get out of bed was a new and terrible development, if true. Tallie’s stomach flipped as she imagined how this news would affect Spider, and said a silent prayer that by the time he arrived at the hospital, Chig would be feeling stronger.

  Soon, a short, slightly rotund nurse with bowl-shaped red hair and pink Crocs came out of Chig’s room. The expression on her face was set just short of a grimace, as though she were trying to conceal her irritation. “You can go in now,” she said. “That one’s a challenge, isn’t he?”

  Deanie hustled through the door without responding, heels clacking against the tile floor. Tallie looked at the nurse apologetically. “He’s not used to being laid up,”

  “You got that right,” the nurse said drily, and brushed past her.

  Tallie followed Deanie into the private room to find Chig sitting up in bed, an oxygen tube in his nostrils. Chig’s skin had turned gray and papery since she had seen him the day before. She supposed this was due to lack of oxygen. Tallie watched Deanie’s reaction to her husband’s appearance, but Deanie, to her credit, didn’t let on that Chig looked bad, if she felt that way. Smiling brightly, she walked up to the bed and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “How you feelin’, baby?”

  “Like shit,” Chig growled. “But I’d feel better if I could get out of this place. How long they gonna keep me here?”

  “Chig, you came here because you weren’t doing well. At least let the docs look you over before they send you home.”

  A lifetime of shunning doctors and others in positions of authority had made Chig mistrustful and paranoid of being kept in places he couldn’t walk out of by his own free will. Chemo was one thing; you walked in, took the dose, and walked out. This… this was like prison. The white walls, heavy doors, sterile-looking everything… It made him nervous. “When’s the doc coming back, anyway?” he grumbled.

  “They gotta get the tests back, Chig. He’ll come back when he knows something. Right now, you just calm down and rest.”

  Chig drew a breath to speak again, but was stopped by a fit of coughing that racked his whole body. Tallie looked away respectfully, working to keep the pity out of her eyes. When the coughing had stopped, Chig looked at her. “Where’s Spider? He been told about this?”

  “Yeah,” Tallie nodded. “He’s got some club business to take care of, he said. He told me to tell you he’d be here as soon as he can.”

  “Good,” Chig retorted. “I wanna hear an update from him as soon as he’s done with church. You tell him that.” The message was clear: Chig was still in charge of the MC, even from a hospital bed. Tallie wondered, for the millionth time, what things would be like when he inevitably declined to the point where he had no more authority, no more ability to even pretend that he was president any more. She hoped for the club’s sake – for Spider’s sake – that he would let go without a fight.

  The two women settled in to keep vigil over Chig, despite his cranky protests that he was fine. Deanie took the large recliner by the bed, and Tallie sank down on a small, hard loveseat by the one window. For the most part, the two women chatted quietly, with occasional interruptions from Chig, usually to ask for a glass of water or to have his pillow adjusted. After about half an hour, he began to ask at short intervals what time it was, and how long it would be before Spider arrived.

  Finally, almost two hours later, the door opened and Spider appeared, clad in a clean white T-shirt, his leather cut, and a worn pair of jeans. “Pop,” he smiled at the older man. “How you feelin’? You givin’ ‘em hell?”

  “He sure is,” Deanie said mildly. “He keeps this up, the nurses will refuse to have anything to do with him.”

  “That’s the spirit,” Spider grinned. His eyes went to Tallie on the loveseat, and his expression flickered. “Hey, Tal,” he said softly.

  “Hi,” Tallie nodded, staring at him somberly. She stood up and went over to him, unsure whether he would want this, but Spider smiled at her cautiously as she approached. “Thanks for coming down and keeping them company,” he said, touching her hand briefly.

  Tallie almost started at the unexpected contact. “Of course,” she murmured. As she looked up at him, her eyes were full of barely-concealed hope; it broke Spider’s heart. Wrenching his gaze away from hers, he looked at his father. “Just got done with church. Got some things to discuss with you.”

  Chig nodded. “Give us a minute, will ya?” he said to the two women, and looked toward the door.

  “Sure, babe,” Deanie replied, pulling herself out of her chair. She looked at Tallie. “You wanna go to the cafeteria, see what they got down there?”

  Tallie took a breath and blew it out, considering. “No,” she said finally, “I think I better get going. I’ve got some errands to run an
d other stuff to take care of. I’ll come back in a little while, though. Give me a call if anything changes, okay?” Looking at Chig, she smiled. “You rest now,” she said. “And stop giving the nurses a hard time. They’re just trying to do their job.”

  Chig grunted in response, but the corners of his mouth went up just slightly.

  “I’ll walk you out,” Spider said suddenly. “I’ll be right back, Pop.” He walked to the door and held it open for Tallie to pass through.

  Tallie was absurdly nervous as the two walked out of the room and down the hall toward the front entrance of the hospital. She didn’t dare speak, waiting instead for Spider to say what was on his mind. The two walked in uncomfortable silence out the front doors and to her car.

  “Tal,” he began when they were standing by the rear bumper of her Civic. “I… uh, I’m gonna be staying at the clubhouse for a while. There’s… a lot of stuff going on right now. I need to be on-site to handle things as they come.” Spider finished speaking in a rush, as though he had prepared his words carefully in advance and was now eager to get them out.

  Tallie looked up at Spider with such an expression of pain that he almost moved forward to comfort her. “Spider,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. Blinking them back harshly, she took a step away and looked away from him. When she looked back, her face was set in a mask of indifference. “Okay,” she nodded, her voice cracking slightly. “Whatever you need to do.”

  “I’ll… I’ll call you, okay?” It was all he could think of to say.

  “Okay,” she nodded, and turned quickly away from him. Opening her car door, she got in and shut it quickly. The ignition turned, and Tallie revved the car a couple of times before putting it into gear and pulling out of the space. She did not look at Spider as she drove away.

  Spider watched the car turn out of the parking lot and disappear down the street. There was a knot in his throat so large he thought he might puke. The only time he had ever felt even close to this helpless, he realized, was the day Gonzo had died. And now, the consequences of that day had come back again, to make Spider pay. It was as though that one moment, that one choice, would end up punishing Spider for the rest of his life. In a strange way, Spider could only welcome the punishment. He knew he deserved everything he got.

  When Spider went back in and pushed the door open to Chig’s room, he found the older man alone, staring out the window. “Mom go down to the cafeteria?” he asked, taking a seat on the edge of his father’s bed.

  “Yeah. I figured she needed a break from me,” Chig sighed. “I ain’t that easy to be around sometimes.”

  Spider chuckled softly. “Yeah, that’s true. But she loves you anyway.”

  “Yeah,” Chig agreed. Spreading his arms ironically, he proclaimed: “I’m a lucky man.”

  The older man’s gesture caused a sober shadow to fall over his son’s face. “Dad,” he began, and then stopped, not sure what to say.

  “I know, son,” Chig nodded. “It’s a bitch. This ain’t gonna be easy for any of you. It only gets harder from here on out. I’m sorry about that.”

  “Jesus, Dad, don’t be sorry for me,” Spider protested. “You worry about yourself.”

  “I’m worried about your mom,” Chig retorted. “And I’m worried about the club. And I’m worried about you.”

  “You don’t need to worry about me,” Spider said earnestly. “You just concentrate on getting outta here and back to the table.”

  “Sure,” Chig gave his son what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Deep down, though, he was slowly coming to the realization that his days presiding over the MC were probably over. Changing the subject, he asked: “You and Tallie doin’ okay? You two seem a little distant.”

  “We’re fine,” Spider retorted. “Haven’t seen her much lately, is all, with all the club stuff happening.”

  “Uh-huh,’ Chig murmured. He could tell now was not the time to try to draw Spider out about his old lady. “How’d church go tonight?” Chig asked instead.

  Spider scoffed. “Not great,” he admitted.

  “What happened?”

  “It’s about what we thought,” Spider said. “Dime Bag’s doin’ his best to oppose everything I say, and he’s clearly starting to get a couple brothers in his camp. Looks like he’s just biding his time to try to take the club in another direction. I’d expect him to challenge your presidency as soon as he thinks he can win. And it was pretty clear during church that he’s trying to set shit up to make a case for him moving into the presidency instead of me.”

  “He’s a real politician,” Chig said drily. “Well, like you said, it’s not like we didn’t see it comin’. What are you gonna do about it?”

  “Not much I can do. If he gets the votes, it’ll be too late.”

  “God damnit,” Chig seethed. He sat for a moment, remembering how sure he had been that Jesse Porter would be a good addition to the club. “Patchin’ in Dime Bag was the worst decision this club’s ever made,” he growled.

  “Not the worst one,” Spider retorted.

  “Whaddya mean?” Chig asked, though he knew the answer.

  “Times like these, I really miss Gonz,” Spider said quietly. “This would be a different club, if he was here.”

  “Maybe,” Chig said neutrally. “Too bad we can’t find out, eh?”

  “Yeah.” Spider’s eyes were far away now. “It is.”

  They chatted for a few more minutes, and then Chig’s eyes grew tired. “I’m gonna get some shut-eye,” he said. “You go on home and pay some attention to your old lady. It looks like I’ll still be here in the morning.”

  “Will do,” Spider lied. He reached over and patted his father’s large, gnarled hand. “You take care of yourself.”

  “Nothin’ else I can do, in here,” Chig grinned. The man closed his eyes, and Spider looked at him, marveling at how much he had seemed to age in the last twenty-four hours. It’s starting, he realized with a stab of pain. He’s starting to die. Silently, he got up from the bed, being careful not to jostle his father. He went to the door, and turned one last time to look at the man who had seemed immortal to him as a child. And he knew, with the painful flash of one who will soon be an orphan, that the feeling of a barrier between himself and death would soon go away, and with his father’s passing, he would face the inevitability of his own.

  Chapter Four

  Tallie’s face was red, puffy, and streaked with tears when she pulled down the visor mirror to look at herself. Exhausted from sobbing, she fumbled in her purse for a packet of Kleenex and blew her nose, then dabbed at her eyes. God, she looked like absolute hell. Everyone at the grocery store was going to know she’d been crying her eyes out. Well, fuck them. She’d just have to hope she didn’t run into anyone she knew. Which would be a bit of a trick in a town as small as Crystal, but she’d just get in and out as fast as she could.

  In spite of herself, her mind went once again to the way Spider had looked in his father’s hospital room. She hadn’t seen him since yesterday, and he’d looked like he hadn’t slept much in the meantime. When Spider had called her last night to tell her he was going to spend the night at the clubhouse, she had accepted it and hoped against hope that it would just be a one-time thing. And now, he had told her that he was going to be staying there indefinitely. God, was this it? Was everything over between them? How could it all have fallen apart so badly?

  For a moment, when they had been with Chig and Deanie at the hospital, Tallie had caught Spider’s eye and he had given her a smile and an appreciative nod. She knew he was thanking her for being there for his family. Tallie had almost allowed herself to hope, as selfish as it was, that Chig’s worsening condition would bring her and Spider closer again. She knew that Spider’s parents had fully accepted her as his old lady. For them, they were as good as married. And since Spider’s own parents had never tied the knot, Tallie told herself that she didn’t need to expect a formalization of their union. Just being with him, knowing he l
oved her, was enough. But little by little, he had begun pulling away from her, and she didn’t know why.

  At first, she had dismissed it, telling herself that it was just part of being the old lady of the Fugitives vice-president that her man would be sometimes preoccupied and keep irregular hours. But eventually, when he had started to touch her less, had stopped reaching for her in the night, she knew there was something wrong. Every time she had tried to bring it up with Spider, he brushed her off, kissing her softly and telling her it was her imagination. But eventually, that had stopped, too. Now, except for the very few occasions where his body seemed to take over and he took her with a speed and force that left her breathless, he rarely touched her. Hell, he barely even looked at her, if he could help it. Tallie wondered what she could have done to make herself so repulsive to him. Suddenly, a wracking sob shook her, threatening to unravel her all over again. She clamped a hand to her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to stop before she began weeping again. No, she told herself harshly.

  When she had calmed herself sufficiently, she reached over and pulled open the handle of her car door, which was parked in the absolute farthest corner of the grocery store parking lot, away from all the other vehicles. She hurried into the store and made her purchases, pretending not to notice people who waved at her from further down an aisle or another checkout lane.

  That night, Tallie slid between the sheets of a cold and lonely bed, hoping a sleeping pill would help her not to toss and turn restlessly all night. As she felt the pill begin to take effect, Spider appeared in her dozy mind’s eye. Handsome, sexy Spider. Her love, her world. How her pulse quickened when he looked at her with that sexy smile. How good his touch felt when he caressed her breast, when his mouth closed around her nipple. Tallie’s hand went unbidden to the throbbing, wet center between her legs. A tear escaped her closed eye as Spider’s memory made love to her, worshipping her with his tongue, pressing his hot need inside her as though she was his only home, his only salvation. But instead of crying out, as she often did when he brought her to her release, she only shuddered silently against her palm, as her fantasy faded into thin air around her.