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Remembrance and Pantomime

Page 5

by Derek Walcott

JORDAN

  Am I forgiven?

  ANNA

  Yes. Will I get to meet Mrs. Jordan?

  JORDAN

  You’ll meet her. Mabel, my monument. And you’ll love my son Frederick, I know that. He has his mother’s heart.

  ANNA

  His paintings, they’re weird.

  JORDAN

  Modern art. It’s him they should have shot for that shit.

  ANNA

  You don’t mean that. I’m going to take the baby for some air. Do you want to come?

  JORDAN

  It would look a little incongruous, don’t you think?

  ANNA

  Why?

  JORDAN

  Don’t you think so?

  ANNA

  Certainly not. I’d love you to. Come on.

  (FREDERICK enters the veranda with his painter’s knapsack and a rolled canvas)

  FREDERICK

  (Reciting)

  “Once more up to the beach, my friends, once more,

  And lie there till your naked arse goes red …

  In peace…”

  (Spoken)

  I’m home, Professor. I’m home, and I’m hungry.

  (Enters)

  Well, what have we here?

  JORDAN

  Frederick, this is Anna Herschel. Anna, Frederick.

  FREDERICK

  Anna Herschel.

  ANNA

  Hello.

  JORDAN

  Anna’s a great dancer.

  ANNA

  Not really. Your father’s been very kind to me. I got tired and lost and I …

  (To JORDAN)

  Sounds phony, doesn’t it?

  FREDERICK

  Do you like painting, Anna?

  ANNA

  I don’t know much about it.

  (The baby cries)

  FREDERICK

  What’s that?

  ANNA

  It’s a baby …

  FREDERICK

  Yours?

  ANNA

  (Nods)

  Mine … I was just going to take him out …

  FREDERICK

  He’s in Junior’s room. That’s great. It’s been empty. Come on, come on, you take him out, and I’ll walk him. It’s a him? I’ll walk him with you and I’m going to bore your ears off about my painting, unless I’m stealing you from the old man. Am I stealing her from you, Professor?

  JORDAN

  Steal her with my blessing. I thought you were hungry.

  FREDERICK

  Professor. How can you talk of food at a time like this? He’s got no poetry in his soul, Anna. He’s a Philistine. Come on, let’s go. I’ll put these things inside. I been up in the mountains, you know …

  (He embraces ANNA as they exit. JORDAN puts on the record, the volume low, listening. Fade)

  SCENE 2

  The same. Morning. A week later. MABEL at the window, JORDAN resting in the armchair.

  MABEL

  Albert, you too young for me, you hear? For seven days I gone to catch some rest in Princes Town, and in those seven days you not only pick up some young chick but you contrive to have a baby, too? Is only the Almighty who did so much in one week. If you keep this up in your retirement, you go kill me from surprise.

  JORDAN

  Well, it’s you who left me, old queen.

  MABEL

  I came back, yes. But I didn’t come back for this: to look through my window and see some hippie and my last son strolling arm in arm like man and wife in that park. I go put up a sign, you hear? JORDANS’ REST HOME.

  JORDAN

  Arm in arm? Let me see.

  (He walks over to the window, and after a while puts his arm around MABEL)

  Seven years ago they could have been killed. Maybe there’s trout.

  MABEL

  Why you let this girl in, Albert? How she could confuse you so?

  JORDAN

  I told you. She used her last cent to come out here with the child, to get to the farthest point that she could, to the end of the world.

  MABEL

  Belmont is the end of the world?

  JORDAN

  She was supposed to meet friends here. Somewhere in this neighborhood. But it was either an old or a wrong address and she had no money for a hotel. The plane was four hours late, she got as far as a taxi could take her, and she got out and started walking.

  MABEL

  Then she looked through this window and saw the Pope of Belmont shining through the glass, and lo and behold! we have a boarder. She ha’ to go, Albert. And you know that. Frederick is the anchor she using to stay here.

  JORDAN

  Listen, Mabel.

  MABEL

  And I been watching you. You like her, too, don’t you, Albert?

  JORDAN

  Too? What you mean?

  MABEL

  You think all I do is cook, sing hymns, and tolerate your moods. You think I don’t read? You think I ain’t realize who Padmore is? You think I never read “My War Effort,” and realize that if you wasn’t such a coward thirty years ago, you would of leave me? Well, the way I have watched you watching her, all I can see is memory and regret. Lord, I ain’t know why I had to come back for this.

  JORDAN

  Woman, you imagining things. Is you should have been the blasted writer.

  MABEL

  You think what you have written, however long ago it is, the book still there, you can’t kill a book, you think it didn’t hurt me to look like such a fool. You write some hard things, Albert. My mother said it when I married you, I burned out my talent in domesticity. I have wasted my life. Whether is “Barrley and the Roof” or “My War Effort,” think they didn’t hurt me?

  JORDAN

  I didn’t mean to hurt you, woman. I just was not good enough. That was what makes my work so small. I am a small man, Mabel.

  MABEL

  Anyway, like I always told you, is never too late to find somebody young, however different. So, if when I wasn’t here you and she had anything going on, don’t let me stand in your way. I have always felt, you have always made me feel, that I stood in your way.

  JORDAN

  In my way? Where you think I would be today, woman? In a rum shop somewhere quoting Shakespeare and Macaulay to a bunch of no-teeth drunkards. I never been great enough to write about the simple things, about real magnificence, about you, in fact, my dear.

  MABEL

  I ain’t want no magnificence, Albert. I just want to go to my grave in peace, knowing that I didn’t stand in your way as a writer. And to see that love in your eyes coming back again so fierce as if you wish you was young and could go away with her … I can’t take it.

  JORDAN

  Mabel. We ain’t do nothing in this house. I would not violate a memory. Is very simple. Listen, Mabel: William Blake:

  (Recites)

  “To Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,

  All pray in their distress;

  For Mercy has a human heart

  And Peace, the human dress…”

  (MABEL exits)

  So cherish Pity, lest you drive an angel from your door …

  (FREDERICK and ANNA, carrying the baby, come in)

  FREDERICK

  Hi, Pop.

  ANNA

  Hello, Mr. Jordan. I’ll just see how he is.

  (She exits)

  FREDERICK

  Had a nice little walk. Anything wrong? I can feel the tension through your back.

  JORDAN

  From the day you turned down Mr. Barrley’s ridiculous proposal, Frederick, I knew you had become a man.

  FREDERICK

  After thirty years.

  JORDAN

  That’s how it is.

  FREDERICK

  Well. I’m a man. So.

  JORDAN

  So, seize opportunity. Act on principle and tell rumor to go to hell. You know what I mean.

  FREDERICK

  Very vaguely …

  (P
ause)

  What’s all this leading to, Professor?

  JORDAN

  You know that poem …

  FREDERICK

  What poem …

  JORDAN

  Gray’s “Elegy” … L-E-G … Leg! B-E-G! Beg.

  FREDERICK

  You’ve recited it for thirty years … I know it backward.

  JORDAN

  It’s really all about obscurity and missed opportunities, you know … It’s all “perhapses” and “maybes” … Listen …

  FREDERICK

  Get to the point, Pop. Don’t recite any more.

  JORDAN

  I’m telling you, boy. The hardest thing for a father is to see his son making his old mistakes. If, when I watch the two of you, I see Albert Perez Jordan and Esther Trout instead of Frederick Jordan and Anna Herschel, then all I would have left you, boy, is my shame and trembling. Since you love the girl, erase history from your mind and make your own. Don’t ask her questions and don’t let her ask you; take her as she is with what she has, and teach her to accept you the same way. But history, gossip, rumor, and what people go say? Blank it out! You have the strength. From the day you refused to sell that roof for money, I knew you had it.

  FREDERICK

  I got it from you.

  JORDAN

  That girl’s got qualities you need. She’s bright, she’s honest; take her, with my blessing.

  FREDERICK

  That’s the trouble with you, Pop. She ain’t yours to give away. You don’t own the world. Stop getting on like is yours. Is up to her, not you.

  JORDAN

  I’m sorry. Yes. I see your point. Don’t hide in the men’s room all your life …

  FREDERICK

  What the hell does that mean?

  (Enter ANNA)

  JORDAN

  It means … It means I’m going to have a pee!

  (Exits)

  ANNA

  What’s wrong?

  FREDERICK

  He says he can’t afford to change his glasses, but he’s going blind, I think. It makes him irritable.

  ANNA

  Maybe he’s just shortsighted. The first night I came in here, he peered very closely at me and called me another name: Esther. Who was Esther?

  FREDERICK

  You read the stories. You mean, if she was real?

  ANNA

  Yeah. If she was, that was an awful thing to do. Stand her up like that.

  FREDERICK

  Why not? It’s just another honky.

  ANNA

  Freddie Jordan, you lousy black chauvinist, come here! Come here!

  (She chases him, a mock fight, they embrace)

  Have you told him?

  FREDERICK

  Not yet.

  ANNA

  Do you want me to?

  FREDERICK

  No, Anna. Let me do it.

  (JORDAN returns to the room)

  JORDAN

  Oh, sorry. You’re talking. I won’t interrupt.

  ANNA

  Please stay, Mr. Jordan … Sit. Frederick wants to …

  JORDAN

  I know. I know …

  FREDERICK

  No, you don’t know. I’ve been listening to you all my life. Now it’s your turn.

  JORDAN

  Shall we say I’ve guessed?

  FREDERICK

  (To ANNA)

  He drives you crazy, you know that? You see what I was saying.

  JORDAN

  I’m just excited, that’s all. I’ll be quiet.

  (Pause)

  I’m quiet.

  (Pause)

  Stone still.

  (Pause)

  Dumb as a gravestone.

  FREDERICK

  Anna’s leaving. Wait …

  ANNA

  It’s time I left. This is getting to be home, and it isn’t. That’s what we were talking about in the little park. I’ve got my strength back now, thanks to you and Mrs. Jordan, and I’m ready to go back. I got the money yesterday, but I couldn’t find the strength to tell you.

  JORDAN

  You know you can stay as long as you like. The last week has been … Well, I’ve been very happy. I think you’re lucky, too. You see how it all turns out? Where there’s hope, there’s trout. You’ve got a fine man in Frederick. He’s got his old man’s best qualities …

  FREDERICK

  You’re rushing things, Dad.

  JORDAN

  (Rises excitedly)

  You can bet your backside I rushing things, boy. Excuse me, but I am rushing things because you see that clock there? Look at it!

  FREDERICK

  Goddamnit, Daddy, listen …

  ANNA

  Please, Mr. Jordan …

  JORDAN

  Esther …

  ANNA

  Anna is my name …

  JORDAN

  That pendulum is a little ax cutting off a piece of your life every time it swings. And I say, Don’t hesitate. Do what you know you must do, and defy the world.

  ANNA

  I wish you’d settle down, Mr. Jordan.

  JORDAN

  I’m settled. Anna. Anna Herschel.

  ANNA

  I’m going. I said so. And I’m not going with your son. I’m not going away with him. We love each other, but not in the way you mean. Are you listening?

  JORDAN

  I am listening. I’ve heard it all before … But I’m listening.

  ANNA

  “I’ve grown to love it here. You mustn’t make fun of that. Albert, I think you’re a silly, affected, but lovely man. You’ve pestered me relentlessly for three months. It’s been worse than the Blitz.

  (Projection: ESTHER in uniform)

  “And I’ve thought very carefully about this, all the possible complications, but if you want me to, I’ll marry you.”

  (Projection fades)

  You weren’t listening, Mr. Jordan.

  (JORDAN rises and looks at them vacantly)

  JORDAN

  I was listening. I heard it before. When are you going, then?

  ANNA

  Now. It’s easier. Frederick’s phoned for a taxi and I’m packed.

  FREDERICK

  I’m taking her to the airport.

  JORDAN

  Go on that plane with her, boy! Don’t be a damn fool like your old man! From the time that crazy Yankee wanted to buy this roof, you should have gone. You made the one mistake that costs you later! Now you getting a next chance! Leave this place. It dried me up and it will dry you up. You’re an artist, boy. You’re one of God’s chosen. That’s what that blasted poem is all about. Don’t bury yourself out here. Go on that plane!

  (Pause)

  I’m sorry.

  FREDERICK

  You stayed here. I’m staying.

  (JORDAN exits)

  ANNA

  Doesn’t he ever give up? He might have made an exciting father-in-law, though.

  FREDERICK

  We discussed all that.

  (A taxi horn blows outside)

  The guy’s here.

  (MABEL enters)

  MABEL

  You know you can stay till you sort yourself out.

  (ANNA controls herself, and then leaves)

  Where is his majesty Montezuma? ’Cause I don’t feel so good.

  FREDERICK

  Outside somewhere sulking, I suppose. That man thinks I must repeat his life. Correct what he didn’t do. And I can’t reach him. The same damn way Junior couldn’t reach him.

  MABEL

  That man? That man is your father. He taught some of the best people in this country. Don’t refer to him as “that man.” I don’t know why he so desperate.

  (ANNA enters with the baby and a bag)

  Albert! Albert! Come in here, please.

  ANNA

  I could leave him a note.

  MABEL

  No. He will come.

  ANNA

  Well, what ca
n I tell you all? I had a home for one week. I found my strength again just watching you. I don’t write letters, but maybe I can put it all down someday. Frederick, you want to help me with this bag?… Is he going to come out, you think?

  MABEL

  Albert!

  (JORDAN emerges, carrying a small rose)

  JORDAN

  I was in the garden, gathering this rose for Pavlova.

  (Recites)

  “Full many a gem of purest ray serene…”

  MABEL

  Oh, God, poetry again …

  JORDAN

  (Recites)

  “The dark, unfathomed caves of ocean bear …

  (The taxi horn hoots)

  Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,

  And waste its sweetness on the desert air…”

  (Kisses her)

  They use poppies on Remembrance Day, Miss Hope. But for you, there is this little flower, Miss Esther Anna Herschel Trout.

  MABEL

  That damn taxi only honking, honking …

  JORDAN

  “Jordan is a honky,

  Jordan is a donkey,

  Jordan is a…”

  ANNA

  We’re about ready to go now.

  JORDAN

  The taxi reach already?

  (They bring the baby to him)

  MABEL

  Say something, nuh, Albert.

  (Pause)

  Albert, the cat got your tongue?

  (JORDAN closes his eyes, holds a hand above the baby in a benediction)

  JORDAN

  May this child … May this child …

  (He hands it to MABEL)

  Here. Take the damn thing.

  (Goes into the next room)

  MABEL

  Here.

  (She gives ANNA the baby, follows JORDAN into the next room)

  What happen to you? What is it that happen, Albert? Is Junior? Tell me. You could talk to me. What you self crying like a baby for? Albert, grow up!

  (FREDERICK and ANNA wait)

  FREDERICK

  He’ll be all right. Come.

  ANNA

  Goodbye. Goodbye!

  (MABEL enters the room and goes to the window)

  MABEL

  Goodbye, Anna. Ba-bye! Ba-bye!

  (She stands there watching, as JORDAN enters)

  Lord, I have this pain in me chest, you see. Damn thing killing me.

  (Fade)

  MABEL

  I getting ready to go now, Albert. Sit still where you are and don’t get up. I getting ready. I have fought the good fight, as the Book says. I have finished my work, and though the good fight was mainly with you, I ent frighten. I have Junior out there, and a whole set of people I ent so keen on meeting, but is not my place who the Lord invite. All I can say is that I only gone ahead to polish the crown He will have for you. ’Cause you was argumentative, stupid, and a stubborn man, but you was a king to me. I tired now, and I going. Turn off the stove. And, Albert …

 

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