Journey to Honor (Knights of Honor Book 4)

by Alexa Aston

  He already awaited her at Starlight’s stall. The horse turned her head and whinnied as Avelyn approached. She stroked the velvet nose and murmured a few endearments.

  “I told you that you wouldn’t have to prepare your horse to ride, but I thought you might enjoy learning how to groom her,” Kenric said.

  “I’d like to try. Elysande says that’s one of her favorite things to do with her horses.”

  He opened the stall door. “Come in. And remember—”

  “Not to stand behind her. I know.”

  Kenric reached for the brush and handed it to Avelyn. It proved heavier than she thought it would be. He picked up another brush and went to stand on Starlight’s right side. He motioned for her to take a spot on the left.

  “Always start with the neck.”

  He began stroking the horse. Avelyn imitated his moves, gliding the brush smoothly against the animal’s coat.

  Kenric continued the grooming lesson. “You’ll move back from the neck all the way to her hindquarters. Be careful, though, round the belly and stifle.”

  She’d never heard that term before. “Stifle?”

  He laughed. “I forget that you’re still a novice.” He pointed. “Here. It’s this joint, above the hock in her hind leg. The stifle in a horse is as a knee is to people.”

  She gently ran the brush under Starlight’s belly. “Like this?”

  He watched her a moment. “Aye. Some horses are sensitive in their belly or stifle. And some can be ticklish in either spot.”

  “Truly? I’m ticklish on my feet and belly. My father used to tickle me both places when I was young. I would laugh myself silly.” She continued easing the brush slowly and softly. “And would you be ticklish, my lord?” she asked, looking up briefly at him before returning her attention to her task.

  For a moment, Avelyn physically felt the charged air about them.

  Kenric grew still. “I don’t know, my lady. No one has ever tickled me.”

  Avelyn’s arm fell to her side. “No one’s ever tickled you? I find that hard to believe.” She began brushing Starlight’s side again and then brought the brush up to run along her back.

  “Nay. My father was not one to play games with his sons.” A shadow crossed his face. “My mother did with Roland. But never me.”

  Her heart twisted with the sadness she heard in his words. She placed a hand atop his.

  Kenric paused the brushstroke, staring at their joined hands. “If I ever had children, I would tickle them,” he said softly. “I would do as Lord Geoffrey does with Hal. Swing them about. Let them ride on my shoulders.” He paused. “I would be a very different father than the one I had.”

  He cleared his throat and Avelyn took that as a sign. She removed her hand from his and continued grooming Starlight. She bent to run the brush down the horse’s leg and started to sit in order to reach the leg better.

  “Nay,” he warned. “You must kneel, my lady. Never sit. If for any reason something startled your horse, you might be trampled before you could react.”

  “But Starlight knows me by now,” she argued.

  “She does—but what if a stranger appeared at her stall door, one she felt menaced by? Or even something as small as a bee flying by and landing upon her, even stinging her, might cause her to react unpredictably.”

  “I hadn’t thought of that,” she admitted.

  He grinned. “That’s why you have a most excellent tutor to inform you of such situations. Now, let’s tackle the last areas—face, mane, and tail.”

  Avelyn stood, listening attentively.

  “A horse’s face can also be its most sensitive. That’s one of the reasons we start grooming at the neck and stroke all the way along the body. It gives time for the animal to adjust to being touched. Once you’re ready to curry the face, you switch to a brush with much softer bristles. Use a gentle, slow motion. And not as much pressure as you exerted along the flanks. If she starts, back away and then approach her slowly once more. Some horses don’t tolerate having their face touched overly much, so be aware of their mood.”

  Kenric handed her a different brush. “You try.”

  She did as he asked, moving slowly and with a lighter touch than before. Starlight accepted what she did and nickered softly, seeming to enjoy being pampered in this fashion.

  “Nicely done, my lady,” Kenric praised. “You have a true feel for animals.”

  “My father always did. I thought only Elysande took after him in that regard. Mayhap I was mistaken.”

  He gave her a sudden smile that flipped her stomach upside down. She’d fallen off a horse once, many years ago, when her father tried to teach her to ride when she was young. Her stomach had behaved in a similar fashion, causing her to feel nauseated and dizzy at the same time. Yet, in this case, the sensation didn’t sicken her at all. It only made her feel giddy as her heart pounded louder and faster. Avelyn feared Kenric would hear it.

  Instead, she looked away to scratch Starlight between her eyes and asked, “So what of her mane and tail?”

  “Those are more complicated. I think you’ve learned enough about grooming today and you can show off that knowledge to your sister. Let’s move on to the riding portion of your lesson.”

  Avelyn handed him the brush. He replaced the ones they had used on the shelf behind him and then had her step out from the stall while he readied the horse for her. Out of habit, she reached for the reins from him and led Starlight from the stables into the warm sunshine of the early June afternoon. After she checked the girth, Kenric helped her to mount and adjusted the stirrups before he returned for Firefall.

  Avelyn soaked up the rays, feeling self-assured atop Starlight. She hadn’t thought that possible only a few weeks ago. Kenric had done an excellent job in giving her the confidence to ride.

  He returned and set the pace. She’d learned a trot was between a walk and a run, and she pressed her legs slightly inward to allow Starlight to fall in behind Firefall at this gait. They rode through the inner and outer baileys at this moderately fast pace. Avelyn took pride in how she held her reins correctly, with a light touch but a firm grasp. She’d also learned how to move with her horse when the speed picked up and how to pay attention to Starlight’s head and make the proper adjustments.

  They rode through the open gates and out to the meadow where they’d come every day to practice small circles and increased speeds. Kenric whirled Firefall around, so Avelyn closed her fists on the reins and sat back in the saddle, letting Starlight know to stop.

  “Your alignment is good,” he told her. “I believe it’s become second nature for you.”

  She laughed. “I know my posture is much better—even when I’m out of the saddle and walking on the ground. I used to wonder why Elysande always stood perfectly straight at all times while I seemed to slouch. Now I know that it’s a carryover from riding.”

  “Would you like to test yourself?”

  Avelyn nodded, licking her lips nervously. She knew they’d been building up to a full, all-out gallop. Subconsciously, she began humming to calm her nerves as she lowered her heels some for more support and balance.

  Kenric let out a cry and turned Firefall quickly, galloping away. She urged Starlight on and set off after him.

  They rode at this pace several minutes, riding the entire length of the meadow and looping around to do it again. Finally, he slowed Firefall to a trot and then a walk. Avelyn rode up beside him as they continued to let their horses cool down. She ceased the tune she’d been humming.

  “It looks like rain will hit at any moment,” he said as thunder rumbled low.

  She looked around, having been unaware that darkening clouds had blown in. “I didn’t realize. I was concentrating so hard on keeping up with you and doing everything you’ve taught me.”

  “I should’ve noticed sooner,” he apologized. “I’m afraid we’ll be caught in a downpour.”

  “I don’t mind,” she said. “I’d rather have stayed out here
the entire time and finished our lesson.” She grinned. “I feel exhilarated. Riding that fast is liberating.”

  The first drops of rain began to pelt them.

  “Follow me,” Kenric said, taking off as the clouds began emptying themselves.

  Avelyn followed as he made his way toward the forest at the edge of the meadow. The rain quickly started coming down in sheets. Flashes of lightning caused her to tense, but she remembered how attuned Starlight would be if she did so. She forced herself to relax as she raced across the meadow.

  Kenric slowed as he entered the grove of trees. She did likewise, keeping her horse to a walk as they went more deeply into the woods.

  “The trees are thick here and should provide us some shelter.” Kenric dismounted and looped his reins around a low branch. He came and helped her down before securing Starlight’s reins. The two horses bent to munch on the grass beneath them.

  “You’re soaked, my lady. Again, I’m sorry for not being more mindful.”

  Avelyn shrugged. “It’s only a bit of water, my lord. I’m not a fragile flower that washes away.”

  “Not the way you rode Starlight today. I feel the need for your lessons have drawn to an end. You know everything I can teach you at this point. It will only be a matter of practice in order to make your knowledge become instinct.”

  She knew his words to be true and wondered if he was eager to be rid of her so he could return to the training yard in the afternoons. A splat of cold rain hit her forehead and ran down her nose, causing her to shiver.

  “You’re cold.” Kenric moved closer to her.

  Then he did what Avelyn had wished for during many sleepless nights. He wrapped his arms about her, drawing her into his broad chest. The warmth that enveloped her made her feel as if she had been gone to some distant land and had now returned home.

  Home. Kenric’s arms felt like home. Her cheek nestled against his chest. Her arms wrapped about his torso and she could hear his beating heart.

  This was where she should stay—always.

  He must have sensed it, too. His arms tightened about her and his large hands began to stroke her back. The most wonderful tingling filled her.

  Avelyn looked up and saw the flame of desire burning hot in his hazel eyes. She willed his mouth to come to her—and it did.

  The minute his lips touched hers, a searing fire lit between them. The kiss never had time to start gently, for the spark pushed them past a slow beginning. Kenric’s tongue thrust into her mouth, almost picking a fight with hers. They warred with one another, first one having the advantage and then the other. His hands roamed up and down her back, dropping below her waist, cupping her buttocks and pulling her closer.

  She clung to his gypon then found her hands sliding up, brushing his neck, touching his face. Her fingers stroked the stubble before pushing into his thick, dark hair. A low growl came from within him, as deep and powerful as the thunder that echoed about them. Avelyn locked her hands around Kenric’s neck and pulled down.

  Without thought, she hitched herself up, wrapping her legs around him. He twirled around and she found her back pressed against a wide tree as they devoured one another. Her nether region pulsated in a primordial beat. Avelyn couldn’t remember the last time she’d taken a breath. She was consumed by the immense heat this man emitted as she brought her arms together behind his neck, nuzzling as close as she could.

  He broke their kiss. They both panted, out of breath, then he moved to her ear where his tongue did wonderful things that made her shiver in delight. Hot lips trailed from there to her cheek and under her jaw before sliding down the column of her throat. She reveled in the feel of the rough stubble burning a path against her skin. His mouth went lower, now grazing the top of her breasts, causing a quick intake of breath. The drum that pounded within her demanded something. She knew not what—only that he could provide it.

  His manhood now pressed hard against her. Something in her wanted to meet it. She lifted up against it and then leaned back into the tree, only to move toward it again. His member called out to her. She must heed the call before she fell to pieces.

  He moaned again as his lips returned to hers. She echoed the sound as her breasts seemed to swell against his chest.

  Then, somehow, she found herself alone, the heat gone as she sagged against the tree for support. Kenric had released her and took a step back, his gaze intense, changing his hazel eyes to a vivid green.

  “I want you,” he said, his voice rough and low.

  Avelyn nodded, words impossible to form.

  He took her hand, drawing it to his mouth. His lips brushed against her knuckles, causing her knees to go weak.

  Kenric cupped her face gently with his other hand. “But I have learned that I can’t always have what I want. It’s a hard lesson a man must learn.”

  “Then why—”

  His fingers touched her mouth, burning her, silencing her.

  “You are destined to be a great lady someday, Avelyn Le Cler. You’ll marry a powerful man who will treasure you and give you everything you deserve. I would not spoil you for him merely to satisfy my own desire,” he said softly, his hand squeezing hers.

  Kenric released her hand and took a step back. “I will always remember you as you are in this moment. Your hair coming undone and damp. Your lips bruised with my kiss. Your cheeks flushed with desire. You are the most beautiful woman who walks this earth, Avelyn. I pray the Most Holy God brings the right man into your life. That you will wed and be happy together. Even come to love one another.”

  He turned and went to their horses, where he loosened the reins and brought them back to where she stood, dazed, not comprehending his words.

  Then anger boiled inside her. She saw red as she looked up at him.

  “How dare you tease me!” she spit out. “Make me want you. Make me fall in love with you . . . and then cast me aside for some nonexistent, future husband. I hope you burn in the fires of Hell, Kenric Fairfax.”

  Avelyn drew her arm back and slapped him as hard as she could. She saw the stunned look upon his face. Before he could react, she jammed her foot into Starlight’s stirrup and tossed her leg over, snatching up the reins as she rode away in the rain.

  Chapter 19

  Kenric froze a moment, the sting of Avelyn’s slap spreading deep shame through him. He hadn’t meant to tease her, nor did he want to take advantage of her. It was why he finally put a stop to their kisses.

  But she had spoken of love . . .

  She told him she wanted him. By the way her body had responded, he knew that to be true.

  But love?

  Avelyn was young and inexperienced and knew nothing about love—if it even existed. True, she had been at court and exposed to all manner of men there. She was an incandescent beauty, so he knew men had fallen at her feet. Had she not been attracted to any of them?

  Or . . . had she felt what he had that stirred between them?

  For Kenric knew in his soul that he did love Avelyn Le Cler. Loved her as he never had another. Loved her as he never would any woman again. She had stolen his heart. He was no longer a rational knight with a steady hand and thoughts only toward soldiering. Instead, he was a lovesick fool who would have done anything to win her heart in return. Yet, though he wanted it, he could never claim it. She was much too good for him and deserved far better than he could ever provide for her.

  Yet, she said she had fallen in love with him . . .

  Then he realized the rain still came down and that Avelyn had dashed away, an inexperienced rider on slick soil. She could already be lying injured, thrown from her horse—or worse.

  Kenric leapt onto Firefall’s back and took off, the horse’s hooves thundering more loudly than the storm. He saw Avelyn ahead of him in the distance, riding at breakneck speed.

  “Oh, God in Heaven, protect her,” he murmured under his breath. He, who never prayed, because it never had done any good. Yet he repeated this mantra over and over as he urged F
irefall on, trying to catch up with her.

  She reached the open gates of Sandbourne and sailed through them without a backward glance. At least she was off the slick grass of the meadow, but the gravel and mud within the castle walls could prove just as menacing. Kenric pushed his horse harder.

  He caught up to her as she reached the stables. Avelyn slung her leg over and slid down Starlight’s side. Kenric knew from experience that anger drove her, providing a physical energy that surged through her body. He dismounted and dropped his reins, racing toward her.

  Avelyn turned and dug her heels into the ground, glaring up at him. Kenric halted in front of her, unsure what to say now that he stood before her.

  “I made it back fine, my lord.” Her eyes narrowed. “And you are right. I believe our lessons have come to an end. I’ll continue to put into practice what I’ve learned. I plan to ride every day that I can so that the knowledge will remain at my fingertips.”

  She gave him a mocking curtsey. “Thank you for doing such a splendid job. I rode Starlight today with no fear.” She paused. “I will never fear a horse again. In fact, they quite have my heart now. They’re loyal beasts, much like a dog, and give their affection freely. Without cause. Without any expectation.”

  “Avelyn, I’m . . . sorry that I’ve . . . hurt your feelings,” he stammered.

  “Sorry?” She barked out a harsh laugh. “I’m sure you’ve said that to many women, many times.” She looked him up and down. “You’re an excellent tutor and an even better kisser, Kenric Fairfax. But you’ve received your last kiss from me. I will take my tattered heart elsewhere. Mayhap to a nunnery, for I have no plans to give it to any man.”

  Her words shocked him. “My lady, ’twould be a waste of your intelligence and beauty to lock yourself away in a convent. You will feel differently, given time, once you return to court at summer’s end and make a great marriage.”

  An odd look crossed her face, then she said, “’Tis no concern of yours. I bid you a good day, my lord.”